Meanwhile, in an unrelated location, at an unrelated time, your everyday evil genius was sitting in a darkened room, contemplating his inevitable world domination…with machines.

Note to reader: I'm pretty sure you've heard this trite sort of thing before, we've basically got your run of the mill evil mastermind trying to take over the world, in this instance with machines. He's got some kind of plot brewing, of which our "hero" is oblivious to and will inevitably fall for, blah blah blah. So to save time, I'm just going to assume that you can picture whatever type of evil guy you would like and leave at that. I'm going to skip ahead now to a point in time when our hero and his newfound damsel in distress have already consummated their relationship…numerous times. Again, in the interest of saving time, and my own lack of romance-plot creativity, I'm just going to assume you can fill in the details yourself.

Sometime later, Stewart was walking across campus when he felt a strange bubbling sensation in his stomach. Damn, he thought to himself, it must be that mayonnaise-flavored pizza. On his way to the restroom to shit himself silly, he ran into Yonude-san. "Hey hon, how are you doing today?" she asked cheerfully, waving her right arms at him.

"Out of the way!" he yelled, and raced for the restroom. Suddenly a large black van with the words "Shinjike-to" emblazoned on the side in gold characters pulled up. The van screeched to a halt near Yonude-san and suddenly four men emerged from the back of the van and descended on her.

"Ahhhhh!" she screamed. "Stewart, help me!" Stewart stopped dead in his tracks and wheeled around and watched the men attacking her with rather large mallets. He stared after her a moment, before turning back to face the bathroom door. The bubbling in his stomach resumed. He turned back and watched as Yonude-san punched two of the men simultaneously with three of her arms, while using the fourth to hold another at bay. Stewart gazed back and forth between Yonude-san's doomed struggle and the bathroom door and the relief that it promised. "Help!" Yonude-san screamed again, as finally the men began to overpower her and throw her into the back of the van. "Stewart!"

"Yonude-san!" he screamed in reply.

"Fizzle!"

"Yonude-san!"

"Tetsuo!"

"Kaneda!"

"Tetsuo!"

"Kagome!"

"Inuyasha!"

"Kagome!"

"Stewart!"

"Damn it all," he said under his breath, "I don't know what to do…She needs help, but I've got to take a massive shit man." Meanwhile, as he continued to be indecisive, and rotate his gaze between the struggle and the restroom, Yonude-san was finally subdued and the van began to drive away.

"Oh well," Stewart said, and began to turn and walk away. He took half a dozen steps before he stopped and thought to himself, "wait, there was something I was supposed to be doing…" Moments later a rather violent and audible gurgling from his bowels, coupled with a momentary loss of control in his pants reminded him and he rushed for the bathroom door. The sounds of his bodily relief could be heard throughout most of the campus. It was later rumored that the septic tank in the hall he was in had ruptured, which was entirely untrue.

End Transmission