Journeys of Silent Hill

Chapter Two

To School

The adventures of Earl George McCoy continue! Warning: This fan-fiction may be inappropriate to religious people, preps, Goths and others in future chapters. Enjoy.

The fog was thick, the snow was falling and the weather was still cold. Same grind, different meat. After awhile, the bus finally stopped and the door opened. I ran off the bus. I had to go bad. I ran into the best public restroom that the south (or at least I was pretty sure this was the south) had to offer, the alley.

There was a lot of garbage and stuff. And oh yeah, there was also a lot of blood sprayed on the wall. I walked along some more and all of a sudden, somebody turned out the lights. Sirens sounded too, you know, not those police sirens that are always chasing me when I'm driving hammered, but those air-raid sirens that go off when it's windy. I search into my pocket and pull out my lighter. Good thing I always come prepared. Just in case I have to smoke something or if for some odd reason the world is plunged into eternal darkness by some evil cult for some odd reason.

I kept walking when I saw a wheelchair on its side. I continue on until I see this one guy stuck on a fence. He's like, got his arms tied and nailed and his feet are nailed too. He kinda looks like a capital T. His face and skin is all meshed and bloody. This guy looks a lot like that dude in the Bible. You know, that one guy that gave people fish if they listened to him and fought against the Roman Noodles or something like that. I think his name was . . . shot, what was it, J-something . . . oh yeah, it was Jordan Christ.

"Damn, this guy could really use a band-aid." I said as I turned around. I tried to leave the area, but there is more fence stuff guarding the exit, I couldn't leave. I heard a shrill sound behind me and I turned around, wondering what Ashley Simpson was doing here singing, I gasped as I saw my worst fear ahead of me. They were circus midgets and they had knives! I noticed that I no longer need to go to the bathroom anymore and my pants felt wet for some odd reason.

I tried to run, but the midgets were on me, stabbing me. As my blood leaked out of body, one thought entered my mind, "I forgot to feed my goldfish."

I instantly woke up, jolting off the couch and hitting my head on the corner of a table pushed way too damn close to me. After saying a few choice curse words, I breathed a sign of relief; it was all just a dream. No alley, no circus midgets, no wet pants . . . I quickly check myself, damn, that part was reality. But other than that, I was okay. Needless to say though, I was still going to need some time to recuperate emotionally. I thought a month would do.

A sound of boots on the wood caught my attention. I turned my head and saw a woman dressed in a police uniform. She must be a stripper because no officer is that hot. I can tell you from personal experience. I also notice that I am in a diner of sorts. This is good because after getting stoned, it is essential to get something to eat.

"How are you feeling?" She asks, her arms crossing her chest.

Like I got picked up by a driverless bus, dumped into an alley, pissed all over myself, heard Ashley Simpson's singing, and then got stabbed, then woke up, hit my head on a table, and being questioned by a str- by a cop. But other than that, I feel dandy.

She gives me this weird look, like she things I'm crazy or something, (I certainly get those a lot) then speaks again. "My name is Cybil Bennett. What's your name?"

"My name is Earl, Earl McCoy."

Cybil nodded. "Earl, do you have any idea about what's been going on?

"Global warming. It's making all this cold weather come down here and all the people moved to like, warmer places only it's cold there too. I saw this sort of thing in "The Day After Tomorrow." I think we can solve it by stop drilling in Antarctica and by putting up a bunch of air conditioners there.

"What on earth would global warming have to do with- oh never mind." She paused as if in deep thought. I suppose she decided not to argue because she could not handle my superior intellect. I understood. Most people can't handle my brand of intelligence. "I'm going to go back to Brahams to report this situation. I'll come back with reinforcements." She nodded and looked back at me. "Are you coming with me?"

Under normal circumstances, I might have gone with her. But these were not normal circumstances. Besides, with ten ounces of weed on me, I thought it would be a good idea not to go. So I said no.

"Have you got a gun?" Cybil asked.

"Yeah, but it's at home." Usually I took one of guns to school to intimidate some of those wimps that royally piss me off. But I forgot it today.

She reached into her holster and pulled out a glock. "Take this and hope you don't have to use it." She handed me her gun and I'm like, it's like, so cool! This is the first time I got a gun willingly. Man, the last time was real hard. I had to beat up a rookie cop for it. Now I could shoot stuff again. She started yakking about stupid stuff like "safety" and junk like that.

"And don't go blasting me by mistake!" She concluded. She headed towards the door and started talking again. "I'm going to be back with reinforcements. Stay here. Oh, and one more thing, have you seen a big man around here? Tall, brown hair, just turned 32 last month?" I told her no. And with that, she was gone.

She was going to be back soon, so I had to do my work quickly.

(A few minutes later . . .)

I closed the cash register when I was done. After my looting, it was the least I could do. I now had a map of Silent Hill, one of those flashlights that you keep clip on to your shirt so you don't tie up your hands, a knife, two health drinks, and 40 dollars of cash.

I was looking for something to eat when I heard a sound something. It kinda sounded like a tapping noise. I turned to the windows and saw something that looked like a bird; only the body and wings were like, huge. And the beak. That shit looked well equipped for some major drilling. I think it was a chicken. The chicken left though, which was unfortunate because since this place seemed to be out of chicken, I decided to go get me some. My new pistol in hand, I advanced to the door. The radio went off.

At first I thought it was static, but then I realized that it was just another one of those third-rate rap artists that frequently populate MTV. I thought about shooting it, but then the windows exploded and the giant chicken came in. This was like South Park all over again! I shot the damn thing a few times and it finally fell down on a table. Dinner was served.

While cooking my chicken dinner, I realized that if these freaks of nature existed, then maybe those circus midgets are still there as well in that alley. I grinned as I headed out the door, ready to blast anything dumb enough to attack me.

(A few minutes later . . .)

I've been walking around for about 30 minutes now. I've shot so many of those damn chickens that Colonel Sanders is gonna piss his pants out of joy. I've also seen one of the worst parking jobs I've ever seen. Some loser crashed his jeep on Bachman Road.

Speaking of roads, the exits were all screwed up. Some of them were blocked by tons of crap and other roads just plain no longer existed period. It looked like I was going to have to find an abandoned helicopter or bullet train and leave just like in a Resident Evil game.

Soon, I'm back at the alley where I met those circus midgets. The bus was gone now. Damn, I guess I couldn't hot wire the thing out of here.

I walked down the alley until I saw the gate with the sign on it. I heard a growl behind me. I turned around and saw a dog that was missing a lot of fur. It was also missing a fair amount of skin. It was probably one of those Resident Evil dog rejects.

"Sit boy." I said as I aimed my gun at it's head at point-blank range. The dog leaped at my throat, it's fangs bared, ready to rip my throat out. It might have made it to if the bullet didn't blow half its brains out. "Good boy," I said as I lowered my gun. Oh yeah, I was real badass. I was about to go through the gate when I felt jaws on my ass. I said a lot of things that would probably not be well accepted in this wimpy pg-13 rating. But then again, I can't change the rating because I wouldn't get nearly as many reviews in the "R" section. I bit my tongue and shot the reject dog.

Shooting stuff was fun and all, but getting bitten in the ass kinda sucks. I also heard that dogs that bite you will give you rabbits or something like that. I couldn't tell because I was asleep. I also heard from my health class that having tons of sex would give you crabs, which is cool because then you can boil them and eat'em and have crab legs. Oh, I'm getting off track here. I was bleeding and I had to stop it. I went into my pockets and took out my health drinks. I popped the lid and drank the thing in one gulp. Instantly, my blood went back into my body, the wounds healed, and even the hole in my shorts was patched up! Man this stuff was better than chocolate milk and vodka!

I pushed open the gate and went in. The lights didn't go out this time, which was real great. Unfortunately, the circus midgets weren't there. The alley must have caved in or something like that. The wheelchair was gone, and the fence and all the other stuff. On the ground was some paper and a lead pipe.

The lead pipe replaced my knife and easily fit into my pockets, despite the fact that my shorts were smaller than the pipe. Since I needed to travel light, I figured that it was essential not to carry too many things at once; I decided to ditch the knife. I threw it over the wall. I thought I heard a scream. I decided to go back to the papers on the ground. One was the cover of a drawing book that had what looked like a bowling ball with what looked like worms coming out of each side of it. The other piece was a sheet of paper that had "to school" written on it.

And then I'm like "like Hell! That's what I came to this fog-laden Hellhole for! I ain't going to school!" I looked back at the ground and saw that there was a new note that read: "Let me put it this way, if you don't come, you'll freeze to death."

Hmm . . . freezing to death or going to school? That's a tough decision.

Footnotes

What will our hero choose? Will he make it there? And can you find these health drinks at Wal-Mart? All these questions and more will be answered soon. Hopefully soon, as my dead-end job prevented me from posting this chapter sooner! Good day!