Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

A/N: I'm sorry that I've taken so long to upload this chapter, what can I say writers block is one serious bitch!

I just re-watched the Prisoner of Azkaban and I noticed that Ian Brown is in the Leaky Cauldron scene- how cool is that!

I awoke the next morning with the instant realisation that something was amiss. I turned over slowly and was met with the sight of Sirius sleeping peacefully next to me, his face slightly obscured by a curtain of dark, black hair. Did we sleep together? Did that really happen or was it some hallucination conjured up by my grieving subconscious. The overwhelming evidence of crumpled clothing strewn across the floor and the two of us sharing a bed seemed to point to the stunning conclusion that something had happened between the two of us- how had I possibly allowed this to happen? I was shocked by my own behaviour, appalled by what I had done. I was the girl who had always insisted that I would never succumb to shallow, physical urges and yet here I was sharing a bed with Sirius Black of all people.

Whilst dealing with the surprise and disgust of my current predicament I had momentarily forgotten everything I had been told about my parents, but as I went back over the events of the previous day my memory came rushing back to me, each recollection landing like a block of lead in the pit of my stomach. This was why I had turned to Sirius for comfort, because physical acts with him delayed the inevitable pain and anguish. I pulled on my clothes as quickly as I could and departed from the room, saturated in self-disgust. I had gotten myself into such a terrible mess and had even managed to ostracise myself from the only person in the entire bloody school who I could actually have a normal conversation with- how did life manage to tie itself up in such complicated knots?

I wanted nothing more than to turn the clock back twelve hours, and go straight up to bed after I had come back from Dumbledores office to deal with my grief alone, but I knew perfectly well that this was simply impossible and that it wouldn't do to keep lamenting about my situation with Sirius- I had enough problems to be getting on with without that adding to it. I would just pretend that it had never happened, that our relationship was still purely platonic- I know that it probably wasn't the greatest plan I've ever orchestrated but it was the best I could come up with, and until the time came when I would have to face him again there was always simple, straight forward avoidance.

I was now forbidden to leave the castle- I wasn't even really supposed to be wandering around on my own, but the alternative would be to go and wake Sirius up and I really did not want to do that. So I decided that the best thing to do would be to go where I always went to escape the world around me- the library to absorb myself in schoolwork. Yes I know what you're thinking- GEEK, but I don't care if this is what I was, I mean surely being intelligent and driven can't be regarded as a negative attribute, but I suppose most girls would think that I was insane to pass up a romantic encounter with Sirius in favour of academia.

I was still researching for my Potions assignment two hours later, when I heard Sirius's voice asking the librarian whether she'd seen me. Luckily I was hidden down the darkest most deserted aisle in the entire room where he would never normally have thought of looking, but sadly Madame Brush (the elderly, evil librarian) had seen me lurking there earlier and was more than willing to point Sirius in the right direction- of course she had a crush on him, as did most of the female population in the school minus McGonagall and perhaps the beefy Slytherin 7th year Mildred Magnus who everyone knew was deeply in love with Madame Hooch, and just the sight of him made her blush and giggle like a little girl.

'Hey Ella.' He said softly as he quietly approached me. I didn't bother to turn around, feeling as though something as personal as looking him in the face might result in a repeat of the previous night, when I had somehow lost all of my senses and bizarrely ended up in bed with him!

'Are you here to do work, because if not I'd rather you leave now instead of hovering behind me distracting me!' I snapped irritably. I was actually quite embarrassed to face him again, not knowing how to act around someone you had been so intimate with- you see I was unfamiliar with these situations as before last night I happened to be the most virginal girl in the whole of the 7th year- a status that was widely known and often discussed and ridiculed.

'Well I just thought that you know, we should probably talk about what happened between us and everything.' He muttered, and I could tell that he felt just as awkward as I did although I'm not really sure why as it was common knowledge that Sirius Black was the biggest playboy in the whole of Hogwarts- sex was nothing new to him. I was sure that I would make a most impressive conquest to add to his list- not because I was particularly popular, but because people had been placing bets on who would finally 'do' me since the beginning of the fifth year when I stupidly told Katy that I would never ever have sex as it was the most vile thing I had ever heard of, and an hour later she had informed practically the entire school! That's friends for you.

'Look I really don't want to talk about it now.' I replied shortly with my back still to him. I knew that he was standing extremely close to me; I could feel the heat radiating off of him into me and the sensation made me feel both incredibly uncomfortable and strangely relaxed at the same time.

'Well we've got to talk about it some time!' He retorted with a hint of irritation in his voice.

'Can't we just leave it and go back to the way things were!' I said with a small sigh, grudgingly turning around.

'What so last night was a one off then?' He spat as his silver-grey eyes clouded with anger.

'No last night was a mistake.' I replied calmly, trying not to meet his penetrating gaze.

'Oh well I'm glad we got that straight!' He hissed, his mouth twitching unpleasantly. He looked absolutely livid.

'Look, what do you want me to say?' I demanded, annoyance suddenly boiling up inside me at the audacity of Sirius' anger- how dare he get mad at me for doing something that he did every other day! He was renowned for sleeping with a girl one minute and then blowing her off the next.

'I don't know, how about saying that last night meant something to you at least!' He exclaimed loudly, causing the librarian to shush us loudly from her desk.

'You know what kind of a state I was in last night- I don't even really remember what happened it was all just a grief induced blur!' I whispered back.

He gave me a withering glare and stepped a little closer so that his face was just inches from mine. I gasped in fright- I had never seen him this mad before and he looked unpredictable and menacing.

'So that's all I was to you then, a grief induced mistake?' he asked in a dangerously low voice.

'Well what was I to you, just anther conquest, another notch on your bed post, another girl to brag about to your friends.' I bit back a lot more confidently than I felt. He recoiled slightly looking somewhat shocked.

'You know that isn't true, you know how I feel about you Ella, I thought I made that clear yesterday afternoon.' He snapped incredulously.

'Yeah well I'm sure you give all the girls that bullshit just before you bed them, excuse me for doubting the biggest slag in the entire school!' I retorted acidly. Sirius stepped back in disbelief and dare I say it, hurt- yes he actually looked hurt by what I said. Upon seeing the look on his face I began to feel a twinge of regret, I probably shouldn't have spoken so brashly, but I had a terrible habit of voicing whatever happened to pop into my head without thinking.

'I'm sorry, that was out of line' I began, but he quickly brushed away my apology.

'Save it Ella, if that's what you really think then I'm just wasting my time here- you obviously don't give a hippogriffs behind about me.' He retorted quickly and emotionlessly before turning on his heel and vacating the library.

I felt the awful weight of guilt crashing down on me as I watched his retreating back, and something else- the same strange, foreign feeling that had been slowly growing inside me for some time.

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