Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I thought that I did then I would be very delusional.
A/N: I meant to have this chapter up over a week ago but life's just been a blur of overdue deadlines and repaid favours so I haven't really had much time for my story but I'm very sorry about the delay.
Nobody else seemed very enthusiastic about Ian Brown popping up in T.P.O.A, oh well only me then!
I'm thinking that maybe I should start thanking reviewers personally in my updates cos other people seem to be doing that and I think that I should to show you guys out there how grateful I am for your support- reviews are the best pick me up after a terrible day at college etc. ( I'm just going to start with the reviews from last chapter)
bluerain627: I just wanted to start out by saying an enormous thank you for reviewing my story from the very beginning and always saying lovely things and being so supportive- I was so touched when you said that this was you favourite story. Anyway I'm glad you don't blame Ella cos I wanted to try and get across that she was really upset and she wouldn't normally do anything like that. I really hope that you like this chapter!
Fg: Thanks, I will!
Cassiopia Black: Ella is going to talk to Sirius this chapter about everything and hopefully sort it out but I don't want to give too much away! Sirius was a bit intimidating but I was trying to portray a darker side to him, which I think was put across in The Order of the Phoenix.
bitemehbiatch: I think that this review might be from the old chapter 6, before I changed the order but what the hell. That was one of the nicest reviews I've ever got- I'm so glad you thought that Sirius is funny, I was scared that I was making him really lame and annoying! I'm also ecstatic that you think Ella kicks ass- yay she's not a Mary Sue!
xmnemosynex: again I think that this may be old, but thanks for reviewing and I hope that you're still reading!
Wow I think that I rambled on for a bit to long there, so I guess I should just get on with it!
I felt slightly apprehensive about venturing back up to the common room that afternoon, but I needn't have worried, as Sirius was nowhere to be seen. I assumed that he was probably sulking up in his dormitory or something and I was glad that he had hidden himself- I was still reeling from our last encounter and I wanted to give him time to calm down before I had to face him again. I felt some comfort in the knowledge that there was only five days left of the Christmas holidays and soon the school would be filled with noisy, mischievous pupils once more- as soon as Sirius was reunited with his friends I would be forgotten about in a flurry of dung bombs, childish pranks and evening detentions. Until then I still had good old-fashioned avoidance to keep me going.
I climbed the stairs to my dormitory sluggishly, and collapsed on my bed like a prize boxer who had suddenly lost the will to fight. For someone who had always prided themselves for being clear minded and focused, I was feeling awfully dazed and confused.
My perfect, intricately planned, charmed life had suddenly gone up in smoke and I had no idea who I was any more or where I was headed. A few days ago I would not have come within three feet of Sirius Black, in fact the girl I used to be would laugh scornfully at anyone who would let him into their knickers and yet somehow I had become one of the people that I detested the most.
I felt around under my mattress for a wad of photographs that I'd stashed away at the beginning of term.
I looked down at the pictures of my parents and I waving and smiling up at me with a strange sort of wistfulness in my stomach. I couldn't understand how I could be sitting there looking straight at them and yet I had no idea where they were. We looked so happy in the photos- we were three shining of examples of perfect bliss- my how things change. In one picture I'm sitting on the back of a giant elephant which is trying desperately to steal my fathers new Indiana Jones style hat that he was so proud of- I allowed myself a brief smile a the memory, it had been a wonderful holiday. I was blessed with having parents whom I actually got along with and enjoyed spending time with- they were young, adventurous and had a formidable zest for life, although they were known for their tendencies to over react hence the insane Azcaban escapade.
My trip down memory lane was interrupted somewhat by the sound of my dormitory door being thrust open forcibly as Sirius marched purposefully into the room, his eyes blazing as though ready for a fight. However his fierce battle stance melted away completely the instant he took in my tear stained face and crumpled, defeated figure.
'What's wrong?' He asked with genuine concern, crossing the room quickly and sitting down uninvited next to me.
'I was just thinking about, you know, things- taking it all in.' I shrugged, sighing heavily as I tried to wipe away my tears. I felt him move closer to me as a hand stroked my cheek tenderly.
'I'm sorry I shouted at you- you didn't need that.' He said softly.
'You had every reason to be angry, I deserved it.' I sniffed in response, unconsciously moving closer to him, feeling great comfort from his presence.
'I should have been more understanding.' He stated
'It doesn't matter, you're here now.' I sighed, resting my weary head on his shoulder. Him being there made me feel infinitely better. Sirius picked up the photos, which I had let, flutter to the ground and gazed at them with a strange look on his face.
'Are they your parents?' He asked as they waved up at him enthusiastically. I nodded
'Your mum looks just like you.' He remarked, gazing at the young, fresh-faced woman
'I know, its almost like looking in the mirror.' I replied sadly, burying my head further into his shoulder, feeling almost as though if I could just burrow right inside of him then maybe the pain would go away forever, but in grief there aren't any easy way outs like that only momentary windows.
'Well at least you know you won't be ugly when you grow up.' He said lamely with a half smile playing on his lips.
'If that's the only positive thing you can get out of this whole situation then I really am in trouble.' I mumbled from somewhere near his collarbone.
Sirius shifted and gently cupped my chin in his soft hand, looking at me intently with those searching silver- grey eyes.
'I could think of a million positive things to come out of this situation, but they're all selfish.' He said seriously, his fingers burning into the soft skin around my face.
'Oh yeah?' I asked, although it was more like a squeak because my stomach was being shaken up inside by a bizarre clash of emotions and I seemed to have lost the ability to speak normally.
Sirius leant down and lightly pressed his lips to mine- it was barely even a kiss it was so brief but the contact felt wonderful and incredibly intimate. I broke the embrace after a few short moments, staring up at him in confusion.
'I'm sorry Ella, I shouldn't have done that.' He said quickly, moving away from me and getting up from the bed.
'DO you really like me Sirius?' I asked his retreating back, Sirius stopped dead in his tracks and turned slowly giving me a truly baffled look.
'What do you mean?'
'Do you really like me or are you only here because I'm the only girl around and being with me beats being alone. I mean are you going to forget all about me the minute term starts again?' I questioned. Sirius stared at me in surprise.
'Of course I like you- do you really think I'd be that shallow?' He exclaimed in almost a hurt voice.
'Then don't go.' I begged. Sirius looked considerably confused at my sudden change of heart- wasn't I the one who said just a few hours ago that being with him was a huge mistake?
'Ella I know you're upset but you can't keep doing this to me- I have feelings to you know!' He said almost impatiently, but I knew that I couldn't let him go.
'But I want you to stay Sirius, and not just because I'm upset- I really don't want you to go.' I replied truthfully, intertwining our fingers in a hope that the contact would persuade him not to leave.
'Ella, you really hurt me this afternoon and I don't know if I could stand to be hurt like that again.' He sighed with obvious effort.
'Please don't go.' I asked again. Sirius had a tortured look on his face- I could tell he was having some difficulty deciding what to do. Suddenly he took a step closer and pulled me to my feet. I felt his warm breath on my cheek as I gazed up at him in nervous anticipation- last night was a frenzied, thoughtless blur but right now I knew exactly what was happening, and I wanted it to transpire- I wanted Sirius and as a girl who had never even really had a crush on a boy before and had sworn off romance from a young age this was a rather startling discovery.
Sirius lent down and tenderly met my lips with his in a kiss that was so gentle it was almost chaste- it was the way that our first kiss should have felt but at least we were making up for missed opportunities now. I tentatively wrapped my arms around his neck and slowly deepened the kiss, silently wondering how my body knew exactly what to do even though it was almost a stranger to this kind of intimacy. We stood for a while, completely wrapped up in each other before I tried to bring our embrace to the next level, but surprisingly it was Sirius who pulled away.
'I don't think that's such a good idea Ella.' He said with obvious effort.
'We've done it before.' I replied almost cheekily, sitting back on the bed and looking up at him with desire burning brightly in my eyes.
'Yes but that was completely different- we barely even know each other and I want our second time to be…right.' He sighed, 'I think that I should probably go.'
I felt panic rise through me like vomit- he couldn't leave me alone, now that I had finally admitted my feelings to myself, I never wanted to be without him again.
'Stay- I promise I'll restrain my self.' I smiled, grabbing at his robes and pulling him down next to me.
'Well if you swear that you'll be good.' He smirked, leaning his weight on top of me and kissing the breath out of me.
A/N: I have no idea when the next chapter will be up but hopefully it will be sometime this week.
