Chapter 4: Dear Boy

"He's falling apart." Darla was standing by the desk in Lindsey's office. The room was still darkened. He watched her as she spoke and suppressed a smile.

"That's wonderful. Unhinging a man with all his particular and weaknesses takes a lot of work," he replied. Things had gone a lot easier than he'd expected, both Darla's recovery and her influence on Angel had progressed a lot faster than he'd dared to hope. Darla however didn't seem that impressed.

"I created a lot of those strengths and weaknesses. I think I have a pretty good handle on them," she told him, her mind flashing back to her century together with Angelus. She smiled slowly and softly.

"We're counting on that. You've given us more information on Angel than we had when he first got here. Nobody knows him better than you do… Especially the side we're interested in," he said, tossing a large manila envelope on his desk. Darla stepped closer to him, an inquisitive look in her big grey eyes.

"So, what is the plan exactly? - I tease him to death?" she said sarcastically. Lindsey couldn't help but smirk. Now seemed to be the time to fill her in on their plans for the vampire, he thought.

"We don't want him dead," he told her. "We want him dark. And there is no better way to a man's dark side than to awaken his… nastier urges, is there?" Darla looked at him, a small smile tugging at her lips. So he didn't want to kill Angel, he wanted him on their side.

Why choose simple revenge when he might still serve a purpose. It is so like a lawyer to think that way, she thought to herself. It was obvious that Lindsey was just as hellbent on getting to Angel as she was. Her eyes fell on his artificial hand.

"He did that to you," she said, remembering what he'd told her. "What's it feel like?"

"Doesn't feel like anything," he replied simply. It wasn't what she had meant and they both knew it, but if he didn't want to talk about it, then she wasn't going to insist.

"Can I?" she said after a moment's pause while she motioned towards the plastic hand. When he didn't reply, she slowly reached out and stroked it. "It's very smooth…" she murmured, and then, realising it was just an object, "You don't feel anything." It was a statement, not a question. She was standing so close now that Lindsey could feel the heat coming from her body. He took a deep breath.

"Not in my hand," he answered, steadying his voice. Darla smiled and took a step back, walking over to the dresser as if she was reminiscing again. She seemed to do that a lot. "How is it - seeing him again?" he asked. Darla turned away , looking intently at a small statue on the polished oak dresser.

"It's strange." She didn't know how else to put it. She'd never been in this situation before. She even doubted anyone had ever been in her situation before, actually. He'd killed her… Lindsey seemed to have read her mind.

"He betrayed you," he stated. Darla smiled softly, as if a young child had said something adorably naieve.

"Everyone betrays you, that's not what eats you in the long winter's night..." she told him, playing with the scales on the small statue of Justice. Lindsey tilted his head and watched her.

"Yeah? What does?"

"Missed opportunities. He got a soul and it sickened me," she said, a look of disgust on her face. "All that power… wasted on a whiny mopey do-gooder. God, I could eat his eyeballs." She let out a frustrated sigh. Lindsey tried not to snicker. He knew exactly how she felt.

"Our plans for Angel are a little more long term than that, but if you can't help yourself, then by all means, be my guest," he replied dryly. Darla gave him an almost cheerful smile.

"You're fun for a human."

So are you, Lindsey thought to himself


Lindsey smiled and shook his head as he heard Darla's little performance through the microphone. Everything had gone as planned. Darla was using the name and life of DeEtta Kramer, and judging from the way Angel had acted when he'd seen her earlier that day, Lindsey was sure the police would be convinced that he was a stalker. Especially that detective Lockley. She'll believe anything that's marked 'Angel is bad news', he thought with a smile.

"Woman should have her own series," he chuckled as he heard Darla make a frantic 911-call to 'report' Angel. The clicking of heels made him look up. Lilah strode into his office and didn't stop until she was right next to him. He covered the microphone on his headset and gave her an irritated stare.

"Do you mind, Lilah? I'm kinda busy right now."

"Relax. I just came to drop this off," she said casually, pulling a contract in a leather binder from her briefcase and tossing it on the polished desktop.

"What's that?" he asked with a frown, his mind momentarily distracted from the matter at hand.

"A housing contract. Holland asked me to pass it along. Apparently the general opinion upstairs is that Darla is coherent and stable enough to live on her own. They've arranged for a guesthouse for out-of-town clients," Lilah answered with a chipper look on her face.

"Right. And you're sure this isn't just a trick to write her off the expense accounts?" he replied, one eyebrow raised in scepticism. It wasn't as if he could blame them, it was a smart thing to do and it saved the company money. He just wasn't sure he liked the idea of Darla moving out.

Lilah tossed a set of keys at him. In a reflex he reached out to pick them out of the air, but he'd chosen the wrong hand. They keys bumped against the plastic prosthetic and landed with a soft thud on the carpeted floor. Lilah was practically grinning. He felt like hitting himself.

I should've seen that coming a mile away.

"You can tell your girlfriend that after she's done using the Kramer house for this little operation of yours, she can move in rightaway."

This brought Lindsey's mind back to the matter at hand. He gave Lilah a small wave of his hand to show that he'd heard her and focused on his headset again; but all he could hear now were background noises that seemed to belong to the police.

"Darla?" he said, sharpening his ears. There was no response.

"Darla?"


"Never mind, she's here," Lindsey said into the phone when he heard the key in the lock. As he hung up, he heard Darla slam the door shut. The next moment she stormed in, tossing her key into the glass bowl on the dresser with such force that a crack appeared in it.

"Darla, what happened? I've been on the phone for hours, tryin' to find out where he took you." Darla never broke stride and marched straight into the guest bedroom where she was staying.

"Shut up Lindsey, I don't want to talk about it," she snapped and slammed the door shut. Lindsey blinked but immediately followed her into the room. He leaned against the doorframe and looked at her. She was sitting on the bed, every muscle in her body flexed in her anger.

"We were hoping that maybe you'd been able to make Angel lose his soul but from the look of things, I assume it didn't go all that well," he said. Darla shot him an evil glare.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it," she said in a low, menacing voice. Lindsey didn't move an inch, he just kept looking at her with his hands tucked in his pockets. Darla let out an angry sigh and rolled her eyes. "If I had my vampire strength, I swear I would be playing with your entrails right now," she added, and the look in her eyes made sure she wasn't joking. Lindsey's eyebrow soared but he didn't flinch.

"No, I don't think you would be," he said calmly as he sat down beside her. She chuckled.

"You're right, I'd probably be playing with Angel's entrails…" She paused, thinking about the things the vampire had said to her. She let out another sigh and pulled her legs onto the bed. "It's no use Lindsey. He's never going to let me turn him dark again, he's too goddamn noble," she spoke, anger rising in her voice again. She felt like she needed to kill –or at least punch– someone to vent her frustrations. "I hate feeling this powerless…"

Suddenly, Lindsey dropped a set of keys into her lap.

"What are these for?"

"Your new apartment. Our bosses think you've done a great job so far, and they pride themselves on rewarding good work." He got up from the bed and started to pace around the room, thinking. Finally, he stopped and watched her as she played with the keys.

"Personally, I think that if you just let Angel calm down for a couple of days, he'll only become more obsessed. Trust me, I don't think he'll be able to stay away for too long. But until then, you can feel free to take the week off. Of course, if you'd rather not move out…" he trailed off. Darla looked up at him, a blank look in her eyes.

"When can I leave?"


"You wanted to see me, Holland?" Lindsey said after his boss had buzzed him into the large upstairs office.

"Ah, Lindsey. Yes of course, come in. Make your self at home," Holland Manners replied with a smile on his face. There had been a time when Lindsey would have been nervous as hell if his boss asked him to come to his office, but these days he wasn't as easily intimidated. And strangely enough, Holland seemed to pick up on it and confide in him more because of it.

"Now, I suppose you're asking yourself why I requested for us to have this little private meeting," Manners said matter-of-factly as Lindsey sat down in one of the black leather armchairs.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with our plan for Angel," he replied calmly.

"Exactly. The vampire is always one step ahead of us. Last week, when he kidnapped Darla from under our noses, he could have ruined everything."

"Yes, about that, I know things went wrong and I'll make sure…" Lindsey said, hurrying to apologize for the plan going wrong, but the older man stopped him with a simply wave of his hand.

"Don't worry Lindsey, nobody is blaming you for anything. It was out of your control. Besides, everything worked out alright in the end, didn't it?" he said cheerfully. "Darla made contact and lived to tell the tale. I think that's the best that could be expected for a first encounter, don't you?"

Lindsey blinked. Holland thought that everything had gone well? Then why…?

"I'm glad you think so, Holland. But if everything went according to plan, then why did you want to see me?" he said with a slight frown. Holland didn't reply immediately, but simply flicked through a stack of manila envelopes on his desk. Then he looked up with another smile.

"And how is Darla doing?"

Lindsey hadn't seen that coming.

"Darla? I don't know, I haven't seen her since she moved into the apartment Wolfram & Hart got her into. I thought we'd decided to shut down contact between her and the firm for a while?" a confused Lindsey asked. "But I guess she's fine, why wouldn't she be?" Manners didn't even blink.

"Well, in that case, we think it's time that she made contact with Angel again."

"Are you sure? From what Darla told me, Angel was not exactly… happy to see her last time. He threatened her. What if he follows up on those threats?"

"Don't be silly Lindsey. Angel would never be capable of harming a human being. It's not in his nature." Lindsey wasn't so sure, but he decided for himself not to get into it, so he just nodded while he looked at his fake hand.

I know what Angel is capable of…

"So, Lindsey, you should pay our little embodiment of blonde ambition a visit, and tell her to contact Angel again as soon as possible. And try not to be noticed. Now that Angel and the P.D. are fully involved in the matter, it's better if we're not linked directly to Darla. Just in case people start asking questions."

"That won't be a problem," Lindsey replied while he got up from his chair.

"Oh, and it would be best if she didn't come into the office anymore either. From now on, you're our only direct link to Darla."


Half an hour later, Lindsey knocked on the door to Darla's comfortable apartment in a small residential area near Melrose.

"Darla? It's me," he said to the door. There were stumbling noises inside, but nothing to indicate that Darla was on her way to open the door.

Maybe she's in trouble. Maybe there's a burglar inside… He immediately smirked at his own stupid thoughts. Darla was a lot tougher than your average burglar, he told himself. She'd have him on a bread knife within seconds.

From inside came the sound of shattering glass.

"Darla? Are you okay?" he asked as he knocked again, louder this time. Moments later, the door opened a crack and Darla's face looked straight at him. Her eyes were red and her hair was tangled. Lindsey gave her a worried glance-over.

"What happened? You okay?" he asked. "Can I come in?" She just nodded mutely, held the door open and smiled a rueful little smile.

"You don't need an invitation."

"No, I just thought it'd be polite," he said with a small smile as he walked in. The smile immediately faded from his face when the shards of glass caught his eye. Pieces of the large hallway mirror were shattered all across the floor.

"What happened here?"

"Nothing," she replied quickly, defensively. "Nothing happened. I stumbled, that's all."

He gave her an unconvinced look but didn't say anything. Instead, he just bent down beside her to help her pick the glass out of the carpet. They worked together in silence for a while, and Darla hoped like crazy that he wouldn't ask any more questions. She was so exhausted that she felt like she wouldn't be able to gather the strength to dismiss them. Finally, she let out a sigh and slumped down on the hallway carpet.

"Why are you here, Lindsey?" she asked, running a hand through her tussled blonde hair.

"The partners would like you to make contact with Angel again," he said without looking up from the carpet. It didn't matter though, he could still feel her eyes burning on his skin.

"Angelus… We did so many horrible things together…" she answered softly. It sounded like she was talking to herself, but when he looked up, she was staring at him with a questioning look in her eyes. "What about you, Lindsey? Do you want me to go back to Angel too?" she asked, her grey eyes boring straight into his soul.

Hell no, he thought.

"Well, I think it'd be wiser to wait another couple of days. From what you told me, I think it's best to let him cool off and get his thoughts straight," he said, forcing his voice to sound business-like. Darla nodded and smiled again, a little more relaxed.

"Me too. Thanks Lindsey," she said softly. Lindsey blinked. He hadn't heard her thank anyone since she was revived, least of all him. "I think I'm going to lie down, I'm not feeling too well," she added numbly. Lindsey nodded as he got up and put the pieces of glass in the dustbin.

"Okay. Take care, Darla. I'll call you tomorrow to see how you're doing," he replied. He held out his hand to pull her onto her feet, but she got up on her own, straightening her skirt. Lindsey's hand dropped to his side and he headed for the door.

"I will. Bye Lindsey," she spoke as she held the door open. She waited till he'd walked out and down the flight of stairs. Then she closed the door, slumped down against it and broke down in sobs.


It was 3AM by the time Lindsey finally started to drift off. A rare rainstorm was rattling on his bedroom windows, rocking him slowly to sleep. It barely lasted more than five minutes however, before a loud thump on his door made him sit bolt upright. The knocking continued, so Lindsey grabbed his switchblade from the nightstand and hurried to the door, unlocking it and jerking it open in one quick movement.

The knife almost fell out of his hand when he saw Darla. She was soaked from the heavy rain and her face was tear-stricken. He didn't ask what had happened, but simply held the door open so she could walk in. She turned around to watch him as he locked up again.

"I didn't know where else to go," she said, her voice cracking.


Fifteen minutes later, Lindsey was lying on his back in bed, wide-eyed and staring at the ceiling. He could hear Darla turn off the shower in the next room. Closing his eyes, he tried his best to think about something else.

"Lindsey?" Her soft voice made his eyes shoot open. She was standing in the doorway, her silhouette clear against the bright light in the living room, and she was wearing one of his old shirts while her own clothes were drying in the bathroom. Tears were welling up in her eyes again, pulling him out of his fantasies and back into reality.

"I can see all of them, Lindsey. So many people died…" she spoke, barely audible. Without thinking twice, Lindsey sat up and scooted over so she could sit down next to him. "So many of them… Every time I close my eyes I see them…" she kept murmuring while she walked over to the bed.

Darla had hoped the shower had cleared out her mind, but the moment she sat down on the bed, images flooded her mind again. Massacred servants, mutilated convent girls, young children covered in their parents' blood, crying out for their mother,…

Putting her face in her hands, she cried out in despair. Even though the sound was muffled through her hands, it threw Lindsey off. Still he didn't hesitate and pulled her close to him, holding her tight and stroking her hair while she started sobbing against his chest. Her closeness was so overwhelming that he could hardly breathe.

"They're just nightmares," he said finally, feeling the urge to comfort her.

"They're not nightmares, Lindsey." She lifted her head, looking at him with eyes full of pain and horror. "They're memories."

"D'you wanna talk about it?"

"No. No, I don't want to talk about it." She didn't want to tell him about the things that played over and over again in her mind's eye whenever she closed her eyes. Her hands ripping out a little girl's throat. Her fingers trailing along the soft, warm skin of a young man's stomach, only seconds before slicing him open and feasting on his innards.

She was a monster. An animal. She knew that now.


TBC