When It Rains
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling and I can prove it to you. I am considerably stupider than she is. I am younger. My hair is darker. I am shorter. I'm am poorer. I am still in school. I'm American. And I'm writing a story of my own that is in no way near the beauty of the Harry Potter series. So there.
Author's Notes: Wow, the Disclaimer up there pretty much says I'm a loser, doesn't it? Heh. Thank you all so much for reviewing. 84! Wow! And in this chapter I'll be switching from Kiora's POV to Remus's. Because….well….I feel like it. If you would like to know more about me, feel free to go to what's marked as my 'homepage'.
"I'm walking a wire, it feels like a thousand ways I could fall
To want is to buy, but to live is to die and you can't take it all
When everything is said and done I won't have one thing left
What happened to everything I've ever known?" --Ticket to Heaven
Don't Ring the Doorbell
Kiora stared intently at the man in front of her. He looked so different from the boy she once knew…
Her Remus had golden eyes that shone brightly, as if each one were a small sun placed strategically in his face. Whenever he smiled, tiny dimples would form in his cheeks, giving him a cute, boyish look. His posture was shy and quiet, trying not the stand out to anyone. He had light, wispy brown hair that hung most playfully on his forehead, urging anyone to curl their fingers in it. His hands were delicate and smooth, shaped in perfection for flipping the pages of a book or expertly waving a wand. He had two faint, silver scars that ran across his face, not ruining his appearance, but heightening it to something more.
But this Remus, he certainly didn't look like her Remus. His eyes had dulled to a yellow-brown color, looking tired and worn out. His face was beginning to show signs of wrinkling, he looked older than he really was. There were strands of silver in his hair, the fringe hanging flat against his head as if it just didn't care anymore. His hands were now callused from hard work, scarred from full moons. The scars on his face seemed to be the only thing that had stayed constant, though they were slowly fading away as well. His robes were shabby and patched up, thrown on almost carelessly….
::Remus POV::
Remus drew in a shuddering breath at the woman that was standing in front of him. It had been a couple minutes now and he still couldn't believe his eyes. Sharpened senses or not, it seemed like a hallucination. He wanted to reach out and touch her, just to make sure she was real. And then when he did, he wanted to wrap his arms around her and never, ever let go. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, wanted to tell her she was the only person he ever loved.
She looked amazingly different, he had to admit. When she was younger, she seemed like the happiest person in the world. There was a permanent smile on her face, reaching to her ears and puffing out her cheeks, making her look like a chipmunk. Even if she was nervous and insecure, her face was beaming. She had beautiful hazel green eyes that were vibrant and joyful. Freckles scattered her tiny nose, reaching to her rosy cheeks. Her hair was light brown and almost always tied up on her head, as messy as James's hair had been. She was short, but to everyone she had seemed so tall. She held herself in a high respect for such a small, emotional girl.
But now she stood in front of him with a tear stained face, frowning at him. Her eyes had darkened, now almost a forest green with a light hint that there had once been gold, and happiness, there. Her face was set into an indescribable frown, as if it were stuck like that and she couldn't smile. The adolescent freckles on her face had faded and her skin was a more cream color. She was still short, but she seemed like she was cowering and trying to hide away from everything. Her shoulders slumped down slightly in an odd gloom for the girl that he once knew. Her hair was the same. The same messy brown. But the rest of her had an effect on it. It, too, seemed dulled down to a lesser beauty. All in all, she looked almost colorless. Like the rain that she loved so much had washed everything about her away, to some place she just hadn't found yet.
"You should go get something to eat," he finally said, his voice sounding hoarse and shaky. "Molly's a great cook. She can be very motherly."
"One could only imagine," Kiora said, averting her eyes from Remus to look around the house. It made Remus feel awkward, her not looking at him like that. He had imagined this for a long time. Meeting her again. It had been so perfect in his mind. Them hugging and making up, promising never to hurt each other again. But this was reality. And things never turned out as you expected.
Kiora's eyes stopped on the row of decapitated House Elf heads hanging on the wall. Her eyebrows shot up towards her hairline. "Oh my," she said.
Remus could feel a familiar tingling in his throat and when he opened his mouth, laughter burst forth like a lion from its cage. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed like that, clenching his aching stomach as the deep, hearty sound spilled from his mouth.
He didn't even know what was so funny about the situation. It was just her face and the way she said 'Oh my'. She said it so simply, it was the most hysterical thing he had ever heard. And then…
"HALF-BLOODS! FILTHY TRAITORS! WEREWOLVES, HALF-BREEDS! DISGUSTING SLIME-BALLS! DISGRACES TO THE WIZARDING WORLD!" the shout rang out through the hall, ricocheting off of the walls. Kiora's eyes went wide and she turned and screamed at the top of her lungs, pointing at the painting.
That was the funniest thing Remus had ever seen. His face was red as his hand banged on the wall, laughing himself silly.
"DON'T SCREAM AT ME, YOU FILTHY LITTLE GIRL! HALF-BLOOD, YOU ARE! TRAITOR!" the old woman accused, screaming back at Kiora.
"It's…It's…" Kiora stuttered.
"Mrs.…." Remus chuckled, trying to get out the words. "It's Mrs.…Bl…Mrs.…"
"I don't care who it is," Kiora yelled. "It's a wretched, horrible old lady!" Kiora screamed back at the portrait. Remus sank to his knees on the floor, laughing so hard that no noise even came from him at this point.
"What is going on down here?!" Charlie raised his voice over the loud noise.
"That…that thing," Kiora said, hand still pointed at the ranting portrait.
"Oh," Charlie said, reaching for the curtains.
"BLOODY, FILTHY, UGLY LITTLE GIR-" Mrs. Black's voice was cut off as Charlie closed the curtains. Kiora huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.
"That…was…the funniest thing…I've ever seen…" Remus panted, standing back up, his face still red and smiling. Well, it had lightened his mood. At least for a little while. It was funny, seeing Kiora again like this.
"Who…" Kiora began. "No, what, is that foul person?"
"That's a portrait of Mrs. Black," Charlie explained.
"Rather tetchy, isn't she?" Kiora said, blowing a strand of hair away from her face. Remus smiled at the woman, who was tapping her foot and still eyeing the curtain as if she expected it to open back up and scream insults at her again.
"Sirius never liked her," commented Remus. "Now we know why, eh?" It was true of their old friend. Sirius had hated his family, at least the immediate ones. It was said that all purebloods were related, but Sirius couldn't hate the Weasleys and most definitely not the Potters. He even ended up living with them after it became too much for him.
Kiora nodded, "I suppose we do."
::Kiora's POV::
It was pretty funny. She could imagine what Remus saw, her staring at the House Elves and then screaming at the portrait. It almost made her smile.
"Now," Remus said. "Food." He pressed a hand to the small of her back and led her towards the kitchen. She flinched at the contact but didn't shake him off. His hand was warm and welcoming, something she hadn't felt for a long time. She gave him a friendly nod and followed.
Over the past decade, she had contemplated on whether she had done the right thing or not. After all, apologizing to James and Sirius wouldn't have really been that hard. It seemed so simple, she could've lost one friend versus all her friends. But there was just that one thing, the one thing that held her back from ever saying she was sorry, and that was simply that she wasn't. She wasn't going to lie to anyone, she meant everything she told those two. If she apologized, that would mean losing her dignity.
When she found out about the deaths of James, Lily, and more recently Sirius, it hit her hard. She never got to tell them that she didn't blame them for anything. They were just boys, teenaged boys. And like they say, 'boys will be boys'. She would stay up late at night and yell at herself for being so stupid, for never telling Sirius and James that she still cared.
But what can you do?
::Remus's POV::
They sat down at the table as Molly brought out food for all of them, smiling encouragingly at the two. Remus glanced occasionally at Kiora, who ate in silence while everyone chattered around her.
"So," said Hermione, sitting on Remus's other side. "How do you two know each other?" Remus watched from the corner of his eyes as Kiora shuffled some food around on her plate with her fork.
"We knew each other in school," explained Remus, turning back to look at Hermione.
"Oh!" Hermione smiled. "You guys are friends then?" Remus coughed and shifted in his seat nervously. Were they friends? They had broken apart after all this time, true as it was, and they had had a terrible fight back in the day…but they were all each other had left.
He didn't know about Kiora, but that was something he just didn't want to give up. He would give the world to have Kiora love him again--to have her simply enjoy his company again. She was the only connection to his past that he had. She was the only one left.
"Ye-" he began but found he was cut off by Kiora.
"There's no such thing as friendship," she said, taking a bite out of her food and not looking at the two next to her. Hermione gave Remus a questioning look and he shook his head, telling her that for once, she needn't ask.
He had to do something, to get Kiora to talk to him. Really talk to him, not some rubbish small talk. He needed to be close to someone again, he needed to feel that warmth inside of him that had diminished when James and Lily had died.
Even as the plan was forming in his head, the plan to spend time with Kiora, he couldn't hold back a feeling of fear. Fear, that as soon as he got close to Kiora again, she'd leave him too. She'd leave him like everyone else had and he would be all alone again. Alone to be the strong, soft hearted one that cared for everybody and had no troubles of his own. Alone to cry on his own shoulder when he longed for somebody else's.
He didn't blame James and Sirius for leaving. No, that was silly and childish. Nor did he blame Dumbledore or Harry. No, it was nobody's fault how or why they left. It was the simple conclusion that…they just did.
However, no matter how you looked at it or who you blamed, it hurt.
::Kiora's POV::
Kiora took a sip from her goblet, absorbing in pieces of conversations here and there.
"Are you enjoying yourself, Kiora?" Molly asked hopefully. Kiora nodded, a corner of her mouth curling up into a forced smile.
"You've shown wonderful hospitality," she complimented. "And the food is great." Molly grinned and sighed, her eyebrows still down in a strange sort of sympathy.
Ding dong.
"SCANDALOUS, NASTY SCUM! DIRT ON MY HOUSE! BRINGING HALF-BREEDS AND DISGUSTING, FOUL-MOUTHED LITTLE GIRLS INT-"
"DON'T RING THE DOORBELL!" Remus shouted, rushing out into the hallway and shutting the curtains. Everyone had stopped eating and talking as their attention was brought to the hall, but they soon picked up their previous actions. Kiora just thought maybe it was a regular (yet odd) occurrence in the house.
"Lupin, don't raise your voice at me, I know very well not to ring the doorbell," Kiora could hear somebody say. It sounded familiar, but she shook it off and continued eating.
"Yes, yes," Remus sighed. Molly looked earnestly from the door to Kiora. Looking up from her food with widened, curious eyes, Kiora looked at Molly.
'What?' she mouthed. Molly's mouth twitched and she cocked her head in the direction of the doorway.
"Unbelievable that we should have to put up with this vile old hag screeching at us whenever we…" he stopped talking upon entering the kitchen. Everyone was dead silent.
"Why, may I ask, is everybody so damn qui-" his voice broke off as Kiora's fork clinked down onto the porcelain plate in front of her. His head turned to the side, staring at her as if he were afraid of her. His eyes finally followed the direction his head was facing and he looked at Remus, his eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. (A/N: I've used that expression somewhere else in the story before. Kudos to you if you find it.)
Remus smiled slightly, "I'm pretty sure you remember Kiora?" Snape turned back around to look at her again. She felt hot under everybody's gaze like this, everyone was staring at her as if they expected something.
She stood up and walked slowly over to the two men. She hadn't talked to him in so long, he was one of her greatest friends. Hell, he even came before James and Sirius, bless their souls. She didn't feel as awkward around him as she did Remus. She couldn't explain it. Perhaps it was because their friendship had never really ended, there was no fight and no yelling…it just simply died out after what happened.
"Is it really you?" he asked, searching her eyes for something.
"That was a stupid question," she said, her eyes searching his as well, her mouth hanging open slightly as she breathed through it.
"I really don't thi-" he began, his charcoal eyes leaving hers and gazing at the ceiling. She held up a hand for him to be quiet.
"Don't be such a gloomy Gus," she said quickly, before he could get another word out. His mouth stopped moving and he looked down at her again, realization dawning on him. Remus looked at them questioningly, but said nothing. "Why don't you go outside and relax?"
"My name is not Gus," Snape smirked. "And besides, I have to get my work done. Just because some of us slack off, doesn't mean we all do."
"Well," she sighed. "At least I'm not a complainer, defeatist, drag, fussbudget, sourball…" She arched an eyebrow at him. A snort turned into a hacking cough behind them as Kiora voiced what Ron and Harry had wanted to tell Snape since the first day they met him.
Snape sneered at them from over Kiora's shoulder. He turned back to her and looked down his pale, crooked nose at her.
Kiora tilted her head. Just as Remus looked different, Snape did as well. He was still pale, professional looking and stern faced. He still had that trademark stringy hair and the crooked nose. She supposed the thing that made him look so different was his eyes. They had always seemed cold and hard, like he had seen too much for his age. But now they were completely gone, no trace of anything in them anymore. She knew he had seen horrors beyond belief…it felt wrong. To see a childhood friend look this way.
She stood on her toes and, very uncharacteristically, wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. She felt him go rigid but she didn't let go. After a minute, he slowly placed his arms around her waist and uncomfortably patted her back. Releasing him, she looked up at him once more and then left the dining room.
::Remus POV::
He watched her leave, a hint of sorrow touching his face for a moment.
"Are you hungry?" Molly asked Snape, who seemed lost in very confusing and troublesome thoughts. He simply nodded and walked to the table, under the stares of everyone in the room. It must've been a very unusual sight for them to see, Remus supposed. Snape getting hugged.
Remus couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealousy. His fantasy, at least a small part, of meeting Kiora again had happened to Snape and not himself. It hurt, to know she still held up a miniscule friendship with the other man.
But that was Remus's fault. He ruined everything because of one act of foolishness.
And the bad thing was, he knew that Kiora didn't even know why…
"Well, are you going to stand there all day?" Molly asked, looking up at him. He shook out of his trance and stared up.
"No…" he said. "I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to go to bed."
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FredandGeorgeWeasleyareMYKings: Molly's baby is supposedly Bill. Yeah, I'm not sure I would've given Molly and Kevin the cold shoulder either. But, hey, that's just the way it goes. Hehe, hope you liked the update.
Phox455: Wow, busy week you've got there, eh? I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Schnebz: It makes me happy when people wait for my story. Even though I know the wait doesn't really make them happy, hehe. This chapter was a little tough to do, it took me a long time. I'm not sure why, it just did. I had to use an online dictionary and thesaurus many times, hah. Can't wait to read your next update!
Caligirl-HPLVR: I love snow! Even though it's cold and everything. And I'm not sure if boodily is a word, but we could make it one. Keep your theories fresh in mind, because they just might be true! (You never know, right?)
An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin: I'm not really sure if I should say 'thank you' or run away crying. So I'm going to answer your review piece by piece. "French toast!" Mm, I love French toast. "Bababuee bababuee banana phone bababuee bababuee." Yes…hibbidy jibbidy shwibbity. "uh yeah lol nehoo yeah" Yep. "I THOUGHT THIS CHAPPY WAS GREAT! Not amazing or spiff-tacular just great." Thanks. I don't really consider myself amazing either. Anyone that does should read more. "Since there's a lot of Snape hate." I don't like Snape hate either. "BUT BUT BUT BOOT! Once you update and add some Snape-ovin I WILL BE HAPPY YOU HEAR ME MOOSE-ETTE?!" Yes, I hear you loud and clear. And I promise that, just for you, I will add some Snape-lovin. Snape deserves some lovin, um…Master Moose. "Remus is such a whore!" …--blink-- "Ugh, Stupid, lovelying I-MA-GONNA-RAPEABLE Remus." Yes…yes indeed. "--shakes head--" --does too-- "I'M GONNA RAPE YOUR SOUL!" Soul rape. Just what I've always wanted.
Mistressofhorses: Thanks.
Wiccankitten21: Thanks.
Ron's Only Girl: "Molly gets knocked up" Hehehe… And yeah…it was kind of cruel.
The Water Sprite: Thanks, I updated as soon as possible! (By the way, I love your name. "Piper". It's awesome.)
Behold the Crazed Fiend: Yeah. That was my bad.
Kayhera: Yeah:( They were so cute together! I must now go read the billions of chapters I have missed of your story. --gets chocolate milk and gets ready--
Sirius-Ella: Wow. The whole fic. I couldn't do it, hehe. Yep, I sure will explain things.
"While it is true that after a storm there will be sunshine, you never know how long the storm is going to last. Human nature simply tells us to think it will last for but a little while. But for all anyone knows, it could flood on for years to come. So stop trying to be human and go dance in the rain." --Me!
