A Silent Cry Into The Night
She came close, so close he felt her flowery scent, then she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips gently against his. He stayed there eyes wide open in shock. Then he slowly closed his eyes.
A few seconds later he was kissing her back, tentatively at the beginning, but when she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her hands in his hair he took in a ragged breath and with a soft moan deepened the kiss, while caressing her hair softly.
She clung desperately on him, caressing his face and he felt he could die in this kiss and be perfectly happy for it.
Grabbing a handful of her soft, curly hair, he relished at the sensation of it on his fingers and pulled her even closer to him wanting them to be one. Gently caressing her cheeks, he held her face tenderly between his hands.
He started shivering from the feeling of her soft skin on his and kissed her with everything he had. His mind went blank, while the ground disappeared from under his feet and the ceiling from above his head, there were only the two of them in the whole world and that was all that mattered in that moment. He didn't need to bread, or eat, or sleep as long as he was kissing her and holding her in his arms.
He didn't want to part his lips from hers but he did so, just to kiss her cheeks, and her jaw and the tip of her nose and her forehead, while murmuring incoherent words even for himself, and melting in her delightful response. Heartbeat against heartbeat, he wanted to savour all of her being, feel her heat, drink in her essence. He wanted everything she was to be his.
"I love you!" she whispered, somewhat breathlessly, making him gasp for air.
He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. This was everything he needed, everything he had ever wanted, ever dreamed of. And he wanted to tell her… tell her everything he felt right then, everything she meant to him, but his voice caught in his throat, where a lump had formed.
He shook his head and bumped his nose playfully in hers, while trying to gain some time to clear his voice. She laughed softly blowing hot air in his face and he almost faltered to the ground when his knees failed him. Then he hugged her tight, took a deep, long breath and talked softly in her ear.
"I love you too! I love every little thing in you!" against his best efforts he couldn't keep his voice from crackling when he said it out loud "I love you so much it hurts, Hermione!"
As soon as the words fell from his lips she made a muffled sound and pushed him away, leaving him lost and cold but he didn't protest. Only then he slowly opened his eyes, knowing full well what he would see. She was crying silently, eyes glued to the ground.
"Pansy!" he said in a very disappointed and painful tone of voice, his heart slowly sinking in reality, it never had been her.
"You love her, Draco?" she asked searching his eyes for the undeniable truth but the hurt in her eyes couldn't even compare to the ache he was feeling right then.
"Yes, I love her with everything that I am!" he answered in a surprising steady voice. Pansy bite her lower lip, which kept her from yelling in dismay and ran from the room sobbing desperately, without looking back at him.
He was alone and cold in the dark, alone in that painfully emptied room. She was crying so loud now, he could still hear her, but he didn't care. She wasn't the girl he have been dreaming of for the best part of his school years.
He hid his face on his hands and stumbled to the floor, then grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and pulled it hard. He shouldn't love her that way, it was against everything he had always believed, but that didn't matter anymore. The fact was that he loved her to no end, that feeling overwhelming him and filling every empty part of him with joy.
But she belonged to another one. In fact, in that exact moment, she was probably in the arms of that spiteful Weasley, smiling at him, laughing with him, kissing the lucky looser with the very same depth and passion he had been kissing her before in Pansy's lips. And he surely was worshiping her, like he himself always did. He surely was holding her close, marvelling in her beauty, breathing in her sweet scent, delighting in the warmness of her body against his and…
He knocked his head hard against the wall, the physical pain almost inexistent within the stab he felt deep on his chest. This was a cruel torture and he knew that. He would rather die a thousand deathes than watch the two of them together as he actually did every single time they met. Her cold glare of hate, more than the pure glee on her boyfriend's glistening eyes, caused him the most hurtful pain, killing him a little bit every day that passed by.
But they belonged deep in one another and they would be achingly happy together, the happiness he carved and only he deserved to have with her.
Nevertheless there was nothing he could possibly have done to undo the powerful spell under witch they were, nothing when he had been ever, since the beginning all but a kind person. He had always been foul to her, rude to her just because he was afraid to show her how he felt, afraid of the Wizarding world's reaction.
Now he knew he could never have her, he would never have her. As the thought came into his mind, hot and salty tears fell from his eyes, while he cried out inside. With his hands crunched into fists he punched the ground furiously, his heart screaming in anguish, although he wouldn't say a word or let out even a suffering sob. He would keep his love locked inside his shattered heart and she would never know.
He walked to the window, feeling like he was split in a thousand pieces, while an excruciating pain, as powerful as his love for her, spread all over his body. Then he raised his wet eyes to the dark and stormy sky, a last single tear rolled through his face, following the rain into the depth of the world, and he let out a desperate but silent cry into the cold night.
The End
