"What are all these people doing here?" Mr. Body said, looking at the other guests with contempt.
"They are here on business," Yami replied, "Please, sir, let me take your bag. Have a seat," he said, taking the suitcase from Mr. Body and gesturing to the dinner table. He sat down, and glared at everyone. When Tea came in with his dinner, he waved it away.
"No thanks, Tea," Seto Body said, "I just ate."
"You know her?" Kagome asked.
"Yes," Mr. Body said, lifting a hand up to ruffle the maid's skirts a bit, "Very well." Tea started, and moved a few steps from Mr. Body, then she stomped back into the kitchen.
"Well," Yami said, 'Can I interest anyone in fruit, or dessert?" No one answered. "Then let's retire to the study for coffee and brandy. There, all shall be revealed."
"You'd better be talkin' about why we're here, pal," Mai said. "Otherwise, you have grounds for a lawsuit."
"I assure you madam," Yami replied, "This is of the utmost importance." Everyone got up, and followed the short butler to the hallway.
Except Seto. He got his suitcase, went to the door, and said, "I'm leaving now. This is all nothing but nonsense." "I'm sorry, Mr. Body but no one can leave," Yami informed him. "All the windows have bars, all the doors are locked."
"WHAT?!?" Everyone exclaimed.
"What gives?" Joey demanded, "You can't keep prisoners! Do you think this is Alcatraze or something'?"
"Everyone, calm down!" Yami tried to settle them.
"I want out of here, Yami, this instant. Give me that key," Seto ordered.
"Over my dead body," Yami replied. "If you will all please go to the study, and let tonight's business be conducted in peace, I will let you go very shortly." Everyone grumbled, but they went the study, where everyone sat either on couches, or in chairs. Yami stood in front of them, waved Tea out of the room, cleared his throat, and declared, "Everyone. You're all being blackmailed!"
"What? That's outrageous!"
"Well, I never!"
"That's dirty lie!"
"What're you sellin'?"
"It's true." Bakura admitted. Everyone gasped, even though they were being blackmailed as well.
"As I said, you are being blackmailed, and by the same man, who threatens to expose your secrets unless you pay all you can afford, or more than you can afford."
"Sir, I must say that I am deeply offended that you would make such accusations," Prf. Miroku said.
"You know better than I do, Professor. But didn't you once work in a private practice, providing help for homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur?"
"Yes, but now I work for the government."
"SO then your work is not changed; but your license was revoked."
"How'd that happen?" Mai asked, sitting cross-legged on a table.
"You know what doctors aren't supposed to do with their lady patients?"
"Yeah?"
"He did."
"That's gross!" Kagome exclaimed.
"Are you one to make moral judgments, Mrs. Peacock?" Yami asked. "When you're husband, Senator Sesshomaru, accepts bribes to gain the favor of certain lobbyists?"
"My husband is a paid consultant," Kagome said defensively, "There's nothing wrong with that."
"Not when the income is declared, or when your husband is paid in used greenbacks slipped under the door of public restrooms."
"Now that's dirty work," Mai muttered.
"How would you know?" Kagome snapped, "Were you in that men's room?"
"Probably," Mai said, "I've been everywhere."
"But is any of it true?" Bakura asked.
"Of course not!" Kagome cried. "It's a vicious lie!"
"Yet you've been paying the blackmailer for over a year to keep that story out of the papers," Yami said.
"Well, I believe you," Sango said, "I'm also being blackmailed for something I didn't do."
"Me too," Joey said.
"And I," Miroku said.
"Not me," Mai spoke up.
"You're not being blackmailed?" Yami asked her.
"Oh, I'm being blackmailed, honey," she said, "And I can tell you exactly what for."
"I'd rather not hear it," Sango said.
"I provide gentlemen with the company of a young lady, either at a hotel- which I operate- or over the phone, for a short while."
"Really?" Miroku asked, getting out a pen and paper, "What's the number?"
"555-2795 hun," she answered.
"Well," Bakura said, "I'm not going to wait for Yami to unmask me. "I work for the state department, and I'm a homosexual." Everyone went for that. "I'm not ashamed of my choices in life, however if anyone knew about it, I would lose my job on security grounds." He sat back down next to Joey and Miroku, who both got up and decided to stand.
"Well, I'm being blackmailed for no reason at all," Sango said.
"Your husband died under somewhat mysterious circumstances." Yami objected.
"So? I didn't kill him." Sango said. "I came home one day and found him dead, with his head cut off, and his… manhood… tucked under his armpit." All the guys crossed their legs. "I'll be honest, we never really loved each other. I mean he once threatened to kill me in public!"
"Why would he kill you in public?" Mai asked.
"I believe she means he threatened, in public, to kill her," Yami said, "But that was only your second husband. Your first husband disappeared."
"That was his job," Sango pointed out, "He was an Illusionist."
"But he never reappeared."
"He wasn't a very good Illusionist."
"Well, That just leaves Mr. Golden Silence, over there," Joey said, pointing over to Mr. Body.
"Yeah, what are you being blackmailed for, doll?" Mai asked.
"Him?" Yami said, "Haven't you guessed? He's the one who's been blackmailing you." The room erupted with shouts, threats, and insults. Seto stood up, and Joey came forward, ready to punch his lights out, but Seto gave him a quick jab, and moved back against the wall. Then, Sango sauntered up to him, put her hands on his shoulders and kneed him in the groin. As Seto doubled over in pain, everyone else cheered and clapped, except Bakura, who asked, "Was that really necessary, Sango?"
"Wait!" Yami cried over the dull roar, "The police are coming!"
"WHAT?!?" the other guests exclaimed.
"Yes," Yami explained, "I called the police, and they'll be here in 2 hours. I have evidence against Mr. Body, and this conversation is being tape recorded."
"Tape aren't admissible evidence," Bakura noted.
"People, please, listen to me. Blackmail depends on secrecy. You've all admitted how he's been able to blackmail you, now all you have to do is tell the police everything, and Seto K. Body will be put behind bars for life."
"It's not that easy," Seto said, getting up from the floor. "They'll never tell the police. Excuse me," he said, "I'd like to retrieve my suitcase from the hall." He went out into the hallway, and came back with the black suitcase under his arm. He laid it on the coffee table, and popped it open. Inside were six gift boxes. He handed one to each of the other guests. "Perhaps these will help you all make up your minds," Seto said. Each person took their box to their seat, and examined it.
"Why not," Mai said, "I like getting presents from strangers." SHe untied the ribbon, oopene the lid of the box, and pulled out a candle stick. "What the heck's this for?" she asked.
Sango open her box, and saw a hangman's noose. Bakura's contained a lead pipe, Joey's a wrench, Miroku's a revolver, and Kagome's a knife.
"Each of you holds a deadly weapon in your hand," Seto Body said, "If you tell the police about what I've been up to, you'll all be exposed. I'll see to that in court. But if one of you kills Yami now, no one but the seven of us will ever know." Seto walked passed Yami as he said, "He has the key to the front door, which he said would only be opened over his dead body." He went to the light switch, and said, "Unless you all want to see your faces in the papers, you will kill Yami… Now!" he said, switching off the lights. There were sounds of a scuffle, a gunshot in the dark, a scream, a gasp, and a sickening thud.
As the lights came back on, Kagome- who'd flipped the switch back on- dropped her knife, and screamed. "Mr. Body's DEAD!!!!"
