(In)Security.
A/N: I had a lot of problems with the title for this one. I'm still not satisfied.
The Bends.
Tammy Lee was flirting with him across the lunch counter. Usually he would respond in kind, but right now he was trying to peer over her shoulder to see what table Katie was sitting at and if the seat next to her was free. Michelle was there – gah, he hated sitting with people blonder than he was – but she was the only one with Katie, so maybe it would be worth it to sit there.
"See ya, Tammy," he muttered, almost overturning the packet of orange juice in his tray as he turned to leave.
He was almost at Katie's table when he heard Marta's voice in his head … How long's it been since your last date anyway, Freddy? Of course it had been long – how did you get a date if you brushed off every other girl that talked to you?
"Hi," said Katie with a smile when he sat down next to her. She smiled so normally – there was nothing secret in it, nothing that said that she was the same girl who'd kissed him on the swings last Thursday.
"Hey," he said, sticking a straw in his packet of juice. "Where's Zack?"
Michelle gave him an appraising look. "Where have you been all weekend, Freddy?"
Daydreaming, he thought, but he didn't say it. "Home. Sleeping. Watching TV. What else do I ever do?"
"Have you even bothered to call Zack?"
He raised his eyebrows. "You say that like I slept with him or something."
Michelle rolled her eyes. "He asked Summer out. On Saturday. And I haven't seen them separated all morning."
He stared at her in shock. "What?"
"He asked her out."
"The idiot! She's gonna fucking marry him!"
"She's not marrying him, Freddy – she just said she wouldn't mind going out with him. For a while. Those were her exact words."
"And you know that how?"
"Because she told me."
He could just imagine Summer relating Zack's stuttering admission of really-not-undying love, red lips pursed up, straight hair flipped obnoxiously over her shoulder. "He's so screwed," he said in horror. "She's going to ruin him."
"I doubt anyone can ruin Zack," Katie put in. Her first contribution to the conversation. "You failed, didn't you?"
"I didn't fail – I was just starting to succeed! And now he'll go back to parting his hair and gelling it down – and he'll stop swearing, oh God – not Summer, man – "
"I thought you were their friend," said Michelle, sounding almost as obnoxious as Summer sometimes could. "I thought you'd be happy for them."
"I am happy for them – just – he's so screwed …"
"And I thought you were the driving force behind Zack's admission," said Katie.
He felt insulted. "I should've been. He's such an idiot, man. There are a ton of other girls out there – but he had to fall for Summer! And not only that, but she had to be the first girl he worked up the guts to ask out! Gah!"
Michelle's eyes lit up. "Ooh, so who else has he not had the guts to ask out?"
He smirked. "Like I'm gonna spill past crushes. I only do present, thanks."
Zack had been in all his morning classes, but he usually sat near the middle of the class, so Freddy hadn't found it weird that he was sitting right behind Summer. And they'd talked some, between classes, and now that he thought of it Zack had seemed slightly spaced out – but Freddy hadn't minded, because he'd been trying to catch a glimpse of Katie in the corridors and he didn't want to get into an in-depth conversation with Zack.
He knew Zack had the hots for Summer – he'd known that for months. For all his quietness, Zack was disgustingly open about such things. Or disgustingly easy to pump for information – whichever way you wanted to put it. And he knew about all the times Zack had come close to actually saying something remotely flirtatious to her.
And he knew that Zack knew he liked Katie, even though neither of them had ever said anything.
He supposed it was fair enough; there hadn't been school on Friday, so he hadn't met any of them, and he hadn't bothered to call anyone all weekend – except for Katie, who had been asleep one time and out somewhere the other, and he hadn't tried more than twice because it made him seem too desperate. She'd called him once, too, on Sunday – but his mom had sent him to buy random groceries and he'd forgotten his cell so he'd missed her call.
So he hadn't told Zack about his – development – and Zack hadn't told him either, so it was fair… but he was still annoyed.
More about the fact that it was Summer than the fact that Zack hadn't told him he'd made his move. Because – ew.
Katie met him on the front steps after school. One of his cousins had told him, once, that a girl always looked different after you kissed her, but he'd never thought that true until now. Maybe because he'd never fantasized about a girl as long as he'd fantasized about her.
"I called," she said. To the point, as usual.
"So did I," he said. He was standing a good three feet away from her – he wondered if it was supposed to be awkward. It'd been fine at lunch, but maybe that was only because Michelle had been there.
"I know."
It wasn't awkward behind the tree in the car park. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her lips were warm against his, warmer than they had been that day on the swings, in the snow. Coke and bubble gum and something sharper in his mouth. She let him in this time, properly, teeth and tongue and all, and her hands were slipping inside his collar, trapped between layers of fabric.
He pushed her back against the tree, and he wondered for a second if the bark hurt her head but he didn't care that much, because it let him get closer, let him push against her mouth without her being able to move away at all. Not that it seemed as if she wanted to move away. Her hands delved deeper; he could feel her bunching up his pullover, using it to lever herself even closer.
She broke away only to say, "No detention today, Freddy?"
"No detention," he said, and he was surprised he had breath to say it.
Her lips were red, slightly swollen. He tried to chase them down again, but she didn't let him. She said, "Well, maybe we should keep it that way. Because right behind you is Frosty's car."
He groaned, forehead resting against hers. He understood what she was trying to say; if Frost caught them making out in the parking lot, she was going to give them the kind of detention they'd still be doing three years into college. "Come on then," he said, tugging on her hand, her shirt. "We'll go to my house."
She dug her heels into the ground. "Kinda presumptuous, isn't that? I probably have other horribly important things to do."
"More important than snoggin' me senseless?"
She grinned. "If you put it that way …" she said. "But – no, I have to get home, Freddy. There's band practice afterwards and my mom and dad already think I'm never home these days."
"So we'll go to your house," he said stubbornly.
She smiled. "Sure. My entire family will be there, but sure."
"Mondays suck."
She eyed him up and down. "Are you saying that sucked?"
He backpedaled immediately. "You think I'm suicidal?"
"Sometimes I have my doubts," she said.
"You're late," he told Zack, loftily.
"I'm doing you a favour by picking you up, man. So shut up and get in."
He did. "What's got your panties in a bunch?"
"The fact that I've had to go half an hour out of my way to pick you up from the middle of nowhere, maybe?"
"Watch the snark, dude. You're gonna turn into your dad."
Zack navigated the traffic light, lips pursed. "I can throw you out right here, Freddy."
"Eh. I know. That's why I didn't say you were gonna turn into my dad."
Zack grinned, reluctantly. They all knew Freddy's dad had been an abusive bastard. Verbally and otherwise. The SUV turned right sharply; Freddy's arm banged against the passenger window.
"I'm kinda – wound up," said Zack eventually.
"Uh-huh," he answered. This was Zack's classic heartfelt-admission opening.
"Uh-huh," repeated Zack, taking another turn a little too sharply. Freddy wondered if it was worth getting to band practice with a broken arm. "I … I did something stupid on the weekend."
"You lost Never Mind the Bollocks."
"Something like that, yeah." Zack drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, checked the time on the car dashboard. He closed his eyes, opened them, and said, "I asked Summer out."
He wondered, for a split second, whether he should pretend to be shocked and let Zack feel as if he was the first one to tell him. But he figured he'd find out that Freddy already knew sooner or later, so he said, "Yeah, I know."
"You know?"
He didn't see why Zack had any right to sound betrayed. So he repeated, "Yeah, I know. Michelle told me. Today, at lunch." He paused, and added, "Because you weren't there."
"Michelle knows?"
"Dude, everyone in their senior year knows."
Zack's voice cracked slightly. "Everyone? They're all – interested?"
He grinned. "Nah. But they still know."
"Summer told everybody?" Zack's voice was a whisper; this was clearly rhetorical.
But when did Freddy ever care about that? "Not really. She told half of everybody – the girls – and they told everyone else."
Zack was silent. Freddy felt bad.
"So what happened?" he said, finally. "Why'd you do it?"
"I – I dunno. I wanted to get a new amp for my guitar, and I didn't think my parents would pay for it, so I thought I'd ask her if we could manage something out of the band's funds, and so she said we could go to Guitar World and see if we could find something within our budget …"
"And you never got to Guitar World?"
Zack laughed. "No, we did. And we didn't buy anything. And then I said I could buy her something to eat, because we'd come out there for nothing, and she said …" He looked fixedly at the road. "She said, 'You mean – like a date?' and I said, 'If you want,' and she said really happily, 'Okay!'"
"I bet she looked at you like you were her new class project."
"Something like that."
He felt like something more encouraging was needed. "Well, good on you, man. Did you make out with her yet?"
Zack went red. That meant a yes, or a very close shave that translated to 'maybe'.
"Right," said Freddy. "I'm guessing that was at lunch?"
Zack went redder than before. It didn't look good with his dark hair; he looked like one of those demented tomatoes that came in ketchup advertisements.
"Right," said Freddy, again.
There was silence, for a while. Freddy stared out the fogged-up window, rubbing at the glass with his sleeve. Zack held on to the steering wheel in the perfect 10 o'clock, 2 o'clock position – as if someone was going to pull him over and hand him a ticket any time.
Eventually he said, "I know you don't like her. But … it's been good, so far, you know?"
He'd never thought Zack cared if Freddy didn't think Summer was ideal girlfriend material. "I do like her, Zack," he said, in his best you-stupid-dog voice. "She's my friend and all. Kind of. I just think she'd make a crap girlfriend."
"Weren't you the one who said it doesn't matter what a girl is like so long as she kisses well?" said Zack with an uncharacteristic smirk.
Freddy grinned. "In that case, I'll be your best man."
Zack's face became serious again. "I like her for more than that, you know."
Freddy grimaced. "Don't spoil it, man. Let me have my illusions."
Zack grinned, but he didn't say anything else.
They were about five minutes from Dewey's place – and only five minutes late for practice – when he decided to share his end of the weekend. He wondered if Katie would feel the way Zack did when he found out that Summer had told other people about them, but then he figured that Zack wasn't the bunch of chattering girls Summer had spilled the beans to, so it didn't really matter.
He couldn't find a way of beating around the bush, so he said, "Katie kissed me."
Zack spluttered; the car swerved. "She kissed you?"
"Yeah."
"And when were you planning on telling me this?"
"Just now." He stopped, then said, "At least you're hearing it from me."
"That's unfair, man."
He knew that. "Yeah." He shrugged. "Sorry."
"So?"
"So what? I don't know. That was Thursday. I saw her after school today, for a while. But she had to go home."
"Can I tell anyone?"
"Your gossipy side is getting out of hand, Zack."
"I suppose that's a no."
"That is a no."
Zack parked the car and got off to fish his guitar out from the back. "You don't have anything with you, do you? No? Okay then." He slammed the back door. "So, what comes next, Freddy?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. She – she doesn't seem like she wants to go out, you know?"
Zack snorted. "She's just using you for sex, huh?"
"Yeah," he drawled. "Minus the sex part."
"So … you really like her, then?" asked Zack, as they climbed Dewey's stairs.
He thought about that. "I – I guess I do, yeah," he said, and it felt weird, because he'd never said that to anyone before.
