Ch 6: Lost

Woody paced nervously as his brother pulled the truck around. Jordan had reluctantly followed him to Kewaunee for Annie's funeral, she wasn't sure why he needed to go, closure, absolution whatever the reason when he asked her to go she couldn't say no.

Cal pulled up the two-tone Chevy pick-up that had once belonged to his father. Woody threw their luggage into the back and climbed in followed by Jordan. The two brothers were silent, hardly saying a word to each other, that surprised Jordan, from what little she collected from Woody, he and Cal were close.

"So.." she stammered tensely "This is Wisconsin…"

Cal turned to her and smiled "Yep, the cheese state." Woody and Calvin's eyes met when they did Cal's smile turned stony.

They were silent the rest of the way, the only sound was the steady buzzing of the car engine and the hum of the music from the radio. Jordan was astonished at how green everything was, the cow pastures and the fields of wheat. The sky was a bright contrasting blue, and far off the green river smelled thick and muddy. Every so often a thick bellow of smoke would appear on the horizon from the factories that took up residence along the rivers.

Woody looked haggard, to say the least, his belt was tightened a few more notches and his shirt looked a little looser than normal, his face looked like he hadn't shaved in a day or two. His azure eyes stayed focused on the road ahead of him, he didn't look at his brother, and his brother didn't look at him. Jordan felt uncomfortable, she looked out the window, tried to sleep, but her thoughts kept wandering, this place was beautiful, how could Woody leave? What had happened to him that caused him to leave so abruptly, like a ghost in the night?

He caught her looking at him and gave a strained smile and an appreciative wink. Cal looked at Jordan too, but he didn't smile, just a quick glance before he turned back to the road.

When they pulled up onto Main Street she was amazed at how small Kewaunee was, with its one gas station and piggly wiggly. Children stood out front of the elementary school, men stood on street corners and women were watering their lawns. It seemed a sleepy, sunny day and everyone looked lazy and a little sad. The pace was set much different from Boston, slower, like molasses.

Woody ducked a little lower in his seat as they passed a corner of cackling old ladies that stopped and pointed. A few people stopped and stared.

"Why do you put yourself through this?" Cal asked flatly, it was the first time he had spoken to Woody since they left the airport in Bay City. Woody said nothing, just kept looking forward. When they pulled up to the cemetery a wealth of people stood near a grave, some sobbing, some silent, others stood stony faced and cold looking. All stopped to stare as Woody came striding up, Jordan to his left Cal to his right.

Jordan laid a hand on his arm discreetly to let him know she was there. A woman she guessed was Annie's mother sat in front her eyes watery with tears, her hair was the same auburn only hers had gray streaks, giving it a silvery tint. Her face was soft with wrinkles. Woody came up to her, standing nervously, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Mrs. Cody, I'm very sorry about Annie…" she had stood and in one swift movement slapped him across the face. The surprise of the strike almost bowled Woody over. The woman looked at him with scorn, Jordan stood back, not sure of what to do.

"How dare you come here…" she seethed, "She loved you and you just left her!" her voice rose, people looked uncomfortable and uneasy watching the spectacle with amusement and empathy. "Where were you huh? Where were you when she needed you!"

Woody looked enraged all of a sudden, a look entered his eye Jordan had never seen before. "Where was I? Where were you huh? Where were any of you when my Mother died? Where were you when I came to school with bruises on my face? Where were you when Annie got sick? When she swallowed all those sleeping pills. All of you talk about how I was wrong to leave… what about Brandon, he left, all of you think I couldn't hold a candle to him." Everyone's eyes lowered in shame, at the confessions Woody knew were bubbling within him for the past five years. He stumbled back for a moment, to look at everyone's face.

He looked at Jordan and his breathing slowed, she seemed to calm him, slowly he turned to the casket and looked down at it, it was open, Annie looked pale and cool, her make-up done up and her eyes closed peacefully. He knelt down softly, ignoring the people gathering around him curiously.

He brushed a long strand of hair out of her face. "Looks like she finally found her peace." He whispered, looking down at her with his own longing. Before anyone could say anything else he had turned and walked away.

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Woody stood on the porch of the house of his youth, it was worn, the paint was chipped, a shutter was falling off of a window and weeds had over grown the garden. Far off Jordan could see the wide expanse of the mirror like river, snaking its way through the valley. Slowly Woody pulled each board down from the doors and windows, light seemed to flood the inside like blood rushing from a wound.

Woody had to hold his breath when he crossed the threshold, dust hung in the air, on the furniture and tabletops. Jordan said nothing, just hung next to him quietly. Cal opened the windows and began to clean up, putting groceries away. Woody could feel the old pain come up inside of him. Memories came in a rush, some good, most bad. As he wandered through the kitchen, then the living room, up the stairs to the hallway. He paused to wipe the dust off his parents wedding picture, how young and alive they looked, so full of promise and dignity, who knew they'd end up like they did. His fingers paused on his mothers face, how he wished he could remember her smile, her voice, if he could have one memory back, it would be that. Before he could think he had smashed the frame against the hall table, hard. The glass shattered into a million pieces. He was surprised where the ripples of the cracks lay, over his fathers face. How he hated him, sometimes he felt that anger come up for no reason.

An anger at a man he barely knew, a man he knew as a bully and a drunk, a man he wished he could have remembered better. Jordan and Cal both came bounding up a mixture of confusion and fear on their face. Both looked sorrowful and sympathetic when they saw him standing there looking lost and alone.

"Woody… are you okay… you cut yourself." Woody noticed for the first time the crimson dripping from his hands onto the tan carpet.

He turned and went into the bathroom slamming the door behind him. Leaving Cal and Jordan alone in the hallway. Jordan was silent as Cal began cleaning up the glass. When he reemerged he regarded her silently. "He wasn't always like this you know." He whispered.

"What?" Jordan asked, still a little startled at Woody's show of anger.

"He used to be a happy kid you should have seen him… Then, something happened, our dad wasn't the happiest person, not all his dreams came true and he thought that when he came home drunk that he should be coming home to a clean house, dinner, two kids with there homework done… he thought Woody could do it all, and he couldn't. And Woody bore it all, you know, he tried hard, but it never happened, he never was good enough… and Dad made sure he was punished… once he was knocked down the stairs another time Dad handcuffed him to the mailbox… it was always different… I never felt the brunt of Dads anger, Woody was the only thing standing in-between me and his fist for years… he took care of me… its what he always does, he takes care of people."