A new idea just popped right into my head. It'll probably be short, and a oneshot. Alex. Very new for me. I hope you like it.


Jodi had left her. Well, really, she'd left Jodi, but Jodi was a shitty girlfriend who wanted to cuddle. And who wants to cuddle?

Then, there was Seth. Seth was cute, and hated to cuddle. She liked that. But everyone knew she liked the females better. They were easier to please, because she knew what they liked.

And Marissa. God, was Marissa hot. She was cautious and confused, and didn't really know what she wanted from Alex. A newcomer. But Alex liked that. She could teach Marissa, mold her. She did mold her, in bed. Marissa was awesome in bed, just like she'd expected. But she was too sucky, too slurpy, not enough tounge. But Alex had expected that, too. Because Marissa had never been with an a girl, let alone an experienced girl.

But then, Marissa had up-and-left her, for that Chino kid. Alex had warned Chino not to go near Marissa, Marissa got mad. Dumped her. Went for Chino.

Dumped her.

Alex was torn. She was the only girl Alex fell for. The only girl to walk her to work in the pooring rain, or give her little nibbly kissed that ment something. Marissa had woo'd her, swept her off her feet. And then, she dropped her.

Alex thought she didn't mind. She pretended. But then, one night she stopped pretending. She sat down on the couch, and picked up the metal nail-file that Marissa had left behind, once she moved back in with Julie.

Alex filed one nail down completely, and then another. Then all the nails. Even one toe.

Stop stalling she told herself. She took a deep breath, and started stripping. She walked into her bathroom, and filled it up with scalding hot water. She dipped a toe in, and then quickly pulled it out again. She took a deep breath, and then slipped out of the bathroom.

Alex ran down the hall, and grabbed her radio. She put in her cd, and carried it back to the bathroom. She plugged it in, and pressed play.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you.." She started, humming a few more words before she dropped the song.

She hopped in the tub, quickly as to not change her mind. And then, she did it. With one hard pressed down and one quick movement, she slit her wrist with Marissas metal nailfile.

She shook with pain. Yelped. But it was over, and she held her wrist. She touched the blood with her index finger.

This was the part of the song she liked best. "When everything feels like the movies, Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive."

She yelled it out, screamed it. Screamed out all her frustration. And then she smiled. She picked the nail file up again, and pressed it into the skin on her leg, underwater. She pressed it harder, and harder until she saw a tiny droplet of blood break up in the water. And again, and again. She'd always liked pain.

And then, she was ready. She put the song on repeat, and turned it up full blast. She went under. Her eyes open, she saw the merky red water. She held her breath. She had thoughts on going back up, but she couldn't back out now. She could feel her system shutting down. Her vision was getting blurrier. The song was fading away. So were her problems. She set a smile on her pretty face, just for Marissa.