You poor, poor things...getting exposed to my writing...I pity you all.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish I owned Animal Crossing. If I did, I'd be rich. If I was rich, I could purchase a secret base in the middle of the Carribean and work on my plans of world domination. (blinks) Did I say that out loud? Anyways, seeing as how I am not rich, and I do not have a secret base, I must conclude that I, sadly, do not own this game.
Chappie 3: It's over...for now...
Shadow, Shady and Spyke sat in Shady's house. Shady had put K.K. Soul on her CD player, and the three did nothing but listen to it while sulking and being sullen and morose and all that. Or, rather, they tried to. It was a little hard to do that in Shady's abode. The place was decorated with matching "Backyard Fence" and "Backyard Lawn" on the walls and floor. Brightly colored furniture (nothing pink, though) was scattered across the room. Shady was relaxing on the hammock she had traded her bed for, Shadow was sitting in the red armchair with a book, and Spyke was looking through Shady's refrigerator. The room was crammed with gyroids that Shady had found and refused to get rid of. They could barely hear the music over the noise the gyroids were making.
"You should sell some of these." Spyke said loudly, nudging one of the gyroids with his foot.
"WHAT?"
"I SAID YOU SHOULD SELL SOME OF THESE!" He yelled.
"WHAT!" Shady jumped off of her hammock and grabbed the gyroid he was poking.
"I SAID-"
"I HEARD YOU!" Shady hugged her gyroid like she would a cat, and glared at Spyke.
"Then why-oh, never mind!" Spyke tried to stomp away, but tripped over one of the random outfits Shady left lying around on the floor. Aren't girls supposed to be neat and tidy and obsessed about not getting their clothes dirty? What is wrong with Shady? WHY CAN'T SHE JUST STICK TO BEING STEREOTYPICAL AND MAKE MY LIFE EASIER! He mentally ranted for two minutes while he stomped around the room.
Shadow glared at him from the red armchair. The fool was causing an unnecessary amount of noise in an already unnecessarily loud house. Just as she was about to add to the noise level and tell Spyke to sit down, the noise level dropped substantially. Shady had turned most of the gyroids and the CD player off, and was now pressing her face against the window.
"I can't believe it!"
"What?"
"Fifi's getting interviewed!" Shady's voice was tinged with a hint of jealousy. Oh yes, just a hint, no more. I mean, I doubt anyone who didn't know her could tell that she was jealous. I mean, it wasn't as though she was shaking with misplaced anger, or glaring daggers at Fifi, and her voice wasn't dripping with contempt and venom...no, wait, she was. Okay, more than a hint of jealousy there.
"You're kidding me!" Spyke gaped. Shadow stared at Shady.
"You mean...there are actual reporters out there?" Shadow said slowly. There was something unreadable in her voice that neither Shady nor Spyke couldn't pin down. Since something far more interesting was going on outside, though, they forgot about it in a second.
"There's even a camera guy!" Shady squealed. It wasn't a happy squeal. Far from that. "She'll be on tv!"
"Are you kidding me! Hey, there's an ambulance!"
"They've got Chip on a stretcher!"
"What's wrong with him?"
"The guy ate a fifty-inch bass in one gulp. Raw. And you are asking me what is wrong with the guy." Spyke blinked, then looked outside again.
"Jeez, his stomache is bigger than he is." Shadow cautiously peeked out the window as well.
"That is not a pretty site."
"I can't believe Fifi's getting all this attention. I can't believe she even caught that bass."
"It was her first day fishing, too."
"I mean, if Biff had caught it, or Rosie, or Butch, I'd be happy for those guys! They spent days practicing for today's tourney!"
There was a moment of silence as they all watched Fifi get interviewed.
"I hate the fishing tourney so much right now, it's not even funny."
Outside...
"So, what do you attribute your success to?" The reporter asked Fifi.
The reporter sighed, looked at her watch, then rephrased the question. "Why do you think you caught the fish?" She said. The smile on her face was only for the benefit of the camera.
"Oh. Well, you see, my wonderful and supportive friends told me about the fishing tourney, as well as how to fish."
"Wonderful. Okay, we'll just need a photo for the newspaper, and then we'll be done. Smile for the camera."
"Wait, um, could my friends be in it? This is a wonderful scrapbook moment!"
"Yeah, sure, just get them quickly." As Fifi started towards Shady's house, she glanced at her watch again and whined to the cameraman, "Why can't she run? I'm missing my so-o-ooaaps!" This was accompanied with a minature temper tantrum.
"You know this camera's still on, right?"
"Well, those geeks back at the station can edit the damn thing."
"You know that they'll hear that comment when they edit it, right?"
"Hear that?" She paused. The wind blew, and a cricket chirped. "That's the sound of me not caring. Now shut up and film."
"But-"
"Shut up."
During this fascinating discussion, Fifi had found Shady, Shadow and Spyke, and had convinced them to posse for the camera. All she had to say was "photo" and "newspaper" and Spyke yanked open the door and dashed outside, closely followed by Shady dragging Shadow.
They were halfway there when Shadow froze.
"Shadow, c'mon!"
"..." Shadow's eyes grew larger.
"Shadow?" Shady waved a hand in front of her face. Her eyes grew even larger, and her jaw dropped. "Shadow?"
"It's...it's..."
"It's what?" That's when the reporter turned around and saw Shadow.
"IT'S A REPORTER!" Shadow turned around and started to head for the hills.
"IT'S A VICTIM!" The reporter squealed, and started to chase Shadow.
Spyke stared at the retreating reporter, and then at the annoyed cameraman.
"Should we help her?"
The cameraman shrugged. "It's just a thing this reporter does. If anyone shows the slightest trace of fear, she'll chase them and bug them with endless questions."
"That's all? And here I thought she was a psycho killer who randomly wanted to kill Shadow." Spyke shrugged and turned away, planning on doing random, pointless things to waste time.
"That's all? THAT'S ALL!" Shady glared at Spyke. "Knowing Shadow, if she gets pestered with an annoying, unceasing, incessant flow of questions long enough, she'll either die of annoyance or kill the reporter!"
"So?"
"SO THAT'S BAD!"
"It is?"
"Either Shadow dies, or no picture in the local paper!"
"Well, good-bye Shadow."
"..." Spyke slowly edged away from Shady.
"I'm joking, I'm joking!"
"Hey, we still have the video camera! We can make home movies!" Fifi chimed in.
Spyke and Shady looked at each other, then they ran. Fifi followed. "Guys!"
Shall we see it through the view of the camera?
Everything is in black and white, and snow flickers across the screen now and then. We see two teenagers running. One of them yells at the other about not memorizing a map. More yelling. Then the camera falls onto the ground.
Meanwhile, Shadow was still running away from the reporter. Her whole goal in life had narrowed to escape. She didn't have any weapons with her, and she did not want to get annoyed to death.
"Wait! Whowhatwhenwherewhy?"
"Go away!"
"Nev-!" A cell phone rang. "Curses!" The reporter pulled it out of her pocket. "Talk to me. Oh. Okay. Be right there. What do you mean, I went over my monthly minutes? I was set up for unlimited weekend minutes!" The reporter continued to talk until she was gone from sight.
Shadow continued to hide behind a tree until she was certain the reporter was gone. After a while, she left the safety of the tree. A second later, she was trampled by Shady and Spyke.
"OW!"
"Shadow, you're okay!"
"Guess this means the reporter's dead."
"No, she had to answer her cell phone."
"Now that we know you're not dead, let's start running."
"Why?"
"Two words." Shady said. "Home movies."
"Start running already."
Fifi walked up. "Hello."
Three pairs of eyes stared at her.
"I couldn't find anyone to film, so I gave the camera back to the cameraguy. Then, two minutes later, I run into you guys! Isn't that ironic?"
Three people relaxed now that the danger of getting filmed in a home movie (and having to sit through it later) was gone.
"I also checked my notebook, and I found out that there are three more tourneys this month. Isn't that great?"
"Yeah..." Spyke then, for some random reason, saw Fifi's pink hair. He spazzed, because of the sheer pinkness of it.
"Gasp! He is in need of medical attention! I'll have to take him to Doc!"
Shadow looked at Shady quizzically. "Shady, the guy doesn't even know how to apply a band-aid." Shady stomped on Shadow's foot. "Ow."
"Oh no! Shadow's condition is acting up, too! I'll have to hurry!"
Fifi was instantly concerned. "Oh, you poor things! What is your condition, anyway?"
Shadow glared at Shady. "I don't have a condition, Shady's just being stu-" Shady stomped on her foot as hard as she could. "OW!"
"She's very sensitive about it. I'd tell you what Spyke's is, but he made me promise not to tell. In fact, he didn't even tell me what it was. I'd better get them to Doc's! See ya later!" Shady dragged Shadow and Spyke (still spazzing) away, leaving Fifi to puzzle over what she had said.
"Hmm...my head hurts..." All Fifi's puzzling did was puzzle the puzzleness out of her puzzler. "I know, I'll make cupcakes! Nice, sweet cupcakes will make anyone feel better! Unless they have diabetes..."
So, that's why, ten minutes later, while Shady, Shadow and Spyke were on the other side of town bugging their animal friends, Fifi was making cupcakes. Let's go into her house and watch her...that sounded stalker-like. Well, let's go in and observe her. This could become the new cooking channel.
Inside Fifi's house...
Fifi was baking using her lovely kitchen, which is pink. At one point, she dropped some crumbs onto the pink floor, so she wiped them up with a pink towel. At this point, a soliciter called her on her pink phone, so she answered it. While pleasantly telling him that she was perfectly happy with her current long-distance provider (whatever that means) she stared at her pink wallpaper. After hanging up the phone, she glanced at herself in the pink mirror on her pink vanity, and quickly brushed through her pink hair with a pink hairbrush. After which she checked to make sure that she had enough pink frosting and pink sprinkles for the cupcakes, and-I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THE PINK! IT BURNS, DAMNIT, IT BURNS! I SWEAR I'LL QUIT IF THIS KEEPS UP-
"You have a contract, you know."
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
"Actually, seeing as how I am the authoress and all, I am."
But...the pink...
"Hey, I have to write this stuff, you know. It's no bag of Skittles. Mmmm...Skittles."
Fine. I'll continue to narrarate, but only if I don't have to do another scene in this house.
"Deal. I was actually scaring myself there. Okay, people, issues with the Narrarator have been solved. Fear not, the story will continue as usual."
Throughout this, Fifi had been happily making the cupcakes. Despite the fact that she was making cupcakes, not muffins, she sang a song about muffins.
"Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man, do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane!"
The door to Fifi's house was smashed open by Officer Copper.
"Thank you, honorable citizen, for revealing the hidden location of the Muffin Man! I can catch him now!"
"But, Officer Copper, it..."
"I thank you, Citizen Fifi, for aiding me in the capture of this felon, and the city thanks you!" Officer Copper ran outside, took out his gun, struck a Charlie's Angels pose, and ran onto the train.
"...It's just a song..."
Pinky, the friendly neighborhood pink bear named after a finger, walked in. "Hello Fifi. Um, what happened to your door?"
"Officer Copper stopped by. Something about the Muffin Man."
"Okay..."
"Want to help me make cupcakes?"
"Um, no thanks, I don't have that much time. I was just stopping by."
"Okay."
"See you around!" Pinky left.
"Bye!" Fifi said cheerfully. For some reason, the whole OMG-my-door-just-got-knocked-down-and-now-I-have-to-fix-it-type reaction didn't happen. Instead, Fifi sniffed the air. A slight burning smell... "My cupcakes!"
It's the end of the chapter. But there will be another one. SO STOP CRYING!
Yay. Done with another chapter. (cheers) Okay, really tired and suffering from sugar-withdrawal now. (Note to Self: Never, ever, EVER eat Skittles during lunch again. Especially before math. Hyperness in math:bad. The resulting tiredness and hallucinations, while still in math:bad. NO MORE SKITTLES!) I'd better go to bed, I have Wednesday schedule tomorrow. All classes on the same day. Tons of homework to turn in. Math right after PE. Science and English in the morning. French RIGHT before lunch. I hate Wednesdays.
