Disclaimers: Look back to the previous chapter.

A/N: Aftermath is always painful. Misunderstanding is even worse. A chakram is a circular weapon sharpened at the edges, like the one Xena throws.

Was it all a dream?

Something bright was poking him in the eye. Trying to avoid the light, he slowly raised an arm to shield it off. The movement made him wince slightly. In fact, it sparked off a soreness that encompassed his entire body. Opening his eyes only made him even more uncomfortable, so he closed them again. His head… it felt as if someone had been kicking it in a ball game the whole night… what had he been doing last night?

He couldn't remember, then he realised he was grasping something in one hand. Ever so slowly, he brought it close to his face before he attempted to open those long-lashed eyes once more. It was… a feather. Feather? Grey… no!

Greyness fogging up his mind was gone, even though the ache still bit sorely into him. It was coming back to him…

Flashback was a tanned muscled torso painted pale in the moonlight, he being on eye level with a thatch of yellow hair framing the smooth- Wanting to take it all into his mouth… "No, no, no…" A choked sob rose in his parched throat, even as his eyes blurred. His fingers tightened until his knuckles were white, the blood drained from them. A stale salty taste clung to his mouth.

Haunting darkness that had snaked itself into his memory and senses, his very blood… urging him on, leading him a merry dance as he followed every word. He had been on his knees before the golden lord, and it was because of… the memory of the name like a skewer in his heart.

Kai.

Mostly Kai.

Kai had broken all his inhibitions. His head now hurt fiercely, even as the memories of the night before poured back in unhindered. His stomach was roiling.

Taking him from every possible position, making him beg until he only desired to please. Feasting with panthers, except he had been their prey. A puppet on strings to do with as they pleased, and he had no idea how he had come to be so. Without resistance, being controlled by them. That was not the worst.

The worst was that while he had been in those chambers, he had enjoyed it, wanted it…a mindless rutting beast whoring for the two nobles.

On his side in an instant, Garline was sobbing in near-panic as he threw up. Self-loathing and sharp anguish searing his soul… they increased further as he remembered Larva. He hoped the young man would never find out. He wanted to die, even as he shrivelled up inside. However, he did not even have the strength to summon his sword. He could not lie here forever. There was only one he could turn to.

"Lilith… help me… pl-please…" Closing his eyes from everything, he only wanted to close himself off forever.

She was at the window in the next instant, and her eyes widened at the sight. So drained of life, it was an ailment she had never seen before but the result was frightening. She was by his side in an instant, pulling him up in her arms, cradling his head tenderly.

"What… how… why are you like this? I'll go for help-"

"No!" One hand gripped her wrist as vehemently as the uttered word.

"Then what can I do?"

"A-a few things… first…"


Pleading illness, how pathetic. He had to laugh at himself, for he too was pathetic for even thinking Garline valued the purity, the sanctity of the feelings they shared. The venom coursing through Larva had never been more wounding. He had avoided that room for a week, even as the servants came and went. Yet Lord Tauron had never been more upset, and Andeas was so sad. Over what, he did not know. And he did not want to. Then he heard the ocarina again.

Looking out the window, he stared into the reddish rays of the setting sun, and saw a girl in a short white skirt beckoning to him. Lilith. What could she say that would help? She doubtless did not know that the 2 were estranged but it would not hurt, at least before he lashed out indirectly at the one who had betrayed him.


Lilith looked at the tall, young noble in front of her and sighed. She could see the barriers in his stiff posture. "You've heard my ocarina so many times this week, don't you tire of it?"

"As long as your… 'master' needs it. I have nothing to say."

His cheek stung, his glacial eyes stinging in an instant.

"You two are so foolish, both unable to see! The one thing he needs to recover, he refuses because he has lost himself. You hate him, because you don't understand and you don't want to. What I tell you now, no one else knows. Although my master made me swear not to tell anyone, I can't bear seeing his condition deteriorate day by day, so listen up!"

Larva had been turning away as she talked, but the next few lines captured his attention completely until she was done.

The myriad mixture of emotions running through him was hard to define. He did not see the tears gathering in her sweet eyes as she spoke, his own were too filled. There was so much to comprehend. The desolation in those violet eyes, and the will to live… were almost gone? The last traces of a spell she had detected, when she had played the ocarina to send him into unconsciousness the first time after that night meant that- Then the traces of herbs in his vomit, especially one that could not be found in these lands except from over the sea, which was Garline's land of origin… She did not tell her master any of that, since he did not want to discuss anything related to that eventful night.

"He only wants to die now, and I swore I wouldn't kill him. He won't let me in on what happened that fatal night, and all that I can do is send him into dreams so he doesn't have to relieve every painful moment that torments him.

"He hates himself, and he had hoped you would not know. However, it appears that you do know whatever it is that has befallen him. For one whole week, you avoid his room. And the worst thing is that he understands it, whatever it is that he's suppose to- Why am I wasting breath on you? I hear him calling, I will go and ease his pain in whatever way I can."

The proud young noble appeared to have morphed into ice by the cliff top. She whirled around swiftly, soaring past him but he caught her last words.

"- very soon, I won't have to do so anymore if he continues on like this."

When she was gone, Larva sank to his knees on the cold, hard ground. He was gulping in deep breaths, trying to sort it all out. He would do what had to be done first. When he figured it out.


It was silence once more. A shudder rolled through the ship. One drop of rainwater rested on the hull, slowly seeping between the wooden planks into the exposed gallery. The red-eyed shinma was on the ground, senseless for the moment in the bright flash that had blinded him, flinging him away at the same time. As he clawed himself to his feet, wooden chips became embedded beneath his nails. His side hurt, as did his arm. Something sticky was on his face.

He thought the sword had stabbed him.

He moved the hand that had been clutching his side to touch his face, until he noticed it was stained red. Wiping the hand on his untorn robe, he realszed the cloth was also smeared with the same fluid. His other hand was somewhat bare, so he wiped his face with it. Blood. Then he realised that a drop or two of rain had fallen onto the floor of the exposed gallery. He felt another drop on his head.

Looking up, he was just in time to receive another drop, this time in the eye. Except it was not translucent but crimson. More rain was seeping in between the planks. A mixture of clear fluid was intermingling with a dull red. It hit him in a flash.

He leapt through the hole onto the deck, and what he saw robbed him of all feelings. Except one.


Metal clashed with metal, and was deflected. A wicked looking chakram was buried deeply in the side of the bathhouse. Furious skill met rage that demanded justice. The fury became muted, the eyes void of expression. The Serpent Sage faced a pale but defiant Larva.

"What. Did. You. Do. To HIM!"

"Garline's little 'lover'. Funny how he didn't remember you when he was with me… as you would recollect."

Kai studied his nails with an air of boredom. Larva had never liked him, and knew he was not one to be trusted. To be able to switch from one deceptive facade so swiftly to the next, and inflict such scummish depravity on an innocent without care for consequences? The man was an absolute asshole.

The following words that dripped with venomous satisfaction from the Serpent Sage tore an irreversible gash in Larva's mental and emotional wholeness. "Just think of it as my gently girding his wings, instead of them being mauled and ripped off through unskilled, clumsy fumbling. So when he touches you after this, you'll thank me for it."

The absolute ferocity of the scythe striking the wall drew sparks as Kai dodged, circling around the young lad. This was starting to really piss him off. His weakling conscience chose the worst time to remind its owner of its existence as Larva's reply scorched, and the impact was received as an unbearable insult.

"You sick, heartless leech! I'll be lucky if he wants to touch anything! He didn't go to you naturally! At the rate he's deteriorating from your 'girding', he'll be in his grave soon. But you don't care, do you? You two have had your fun. So stay away!"

Larva's weapon was torn from his grip by metallic claws, the very savagery of the move sending his scythe flying to break into two against the smooth lime-green walls. The dent left from the paint that had been knocked off told the enraged youth that his message had been thoroughly understood.

Kai however, had never been one for obeying completely. Furthermore, there was the detested task of a woken conscience that needed silencing. This also called for payback. Furious eyes watched Larva turn and walk away, jade-bladed pupils filled with enough hatred to cower the hordes of Hell.


He was mesmerised, even as sharp clear nails carved strange patterns in his skin. The acute pain enthralled him, along with the ooze of deep garnet welling out of the cut. Over and over again, interspersed between the numerous acts of depravity that long, sickening night… Despised pain and pleasure was inexorably intertwined, along with every move of those pale, artistic hands dipped in bloody nail polish. Everything was awash in red and black and white, fading and bleeding into one another until it was all a murky grey.

The muck fogged his vision, unfurling itself throughout his tortured body; seeping into his lungs and paralysing his agonized mind. Before all colour was obliterated, with one last effort, he called out to the faded cornflowers… "Larva…" But it was always the same. His back turned to those pale lavender eyes before being swallowed up by the mist.

Then he felt a sharp jolt that hurt his neck.


Standing by the bedside, watching Garline cry out incoherently with fear and despair, as though he was lost in nightmares was too much. Diving onto the bed next to him, pale hands with sharp red nails dug into the sweat- beaded skin as he shook his beloved violently by the shoulders. "Wake up! Garline… please…"

Feverish, darkened eyes set in slightly sunken orbs were looking at him without comprehension. The loss of what he held in his arms finally made itself felt with Larva. Trying to stem the tears, he cradled the cold body against him, lank burgundy hair brushing one protectively hunched shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… I should have done something…" Saltwater seeped through the widening cracks in his dam, as they finally shook his lean body. Wishing he could undo that which could not be forgotten, if only...

One wan hand crept up, resting against damp downy skin as its back slowly brushed Larva's cheek. The pained purple eyes were closed, a snail-like trickle of clear liquid reflecting the emotion on the face of his best friend. "Not… your fault. M-Mine…"

The cracked tones only made ice-tinted pupils burn fiercely. That he could even blame himself at a time like this, branded the guilt in Larva even more strongly. He didn't know what to think or say, his thoughts whirling into a mess in his mind. Except for two things.

"It's alright, we'll be together… I won't leave you. How can I, now that I know…" Courage was drying up on his tongue, even as his voice wavered.

The familiarly soothing tones of his best friend now slightly stronger as they asked, "Know what?" The quiver in that fluid voice was fearful. He would not mention that awful night. There were other more important things, such as forgiveness that had never been needed in the first place. It came in one nervous breath. A sweet, melancholy smile touched the pale lips as his white hand trailed though the wine-coloured strands. "That… I- I love you. Of course." A ragged, husky voice as he pressed a kiss to Garline's forehead. Hence he did not see the slightly bitter smile on pale rose lips.

So he knew.

Of course. Larva was probably trying to ease his guilt, for what he had done with… he could not bring himself to think their names. Whether he meant it or not… it made him feel better and worse at the same time. Not to mention something bubbling from the back of his throat, wanting to be heard. Coming from a far deeper source. "Did I ever tell you…"

Questioning, suddenly hopeful starlit eyes were fixed on his own violet ones. The room seemed to hold its breath.

He could not say it. The shame, the knowledge that he wasn't worthy of Larva any more ate at him like a canker, the gaping awareness silencing that little voice. So he hid his feelings in self-defence. "That you are a very good friend to have?" The hope in those eyes faded into something duller, the replacing sadness… But he couldn't do it. Soiled, tarnished, he was but a shadow of himself. And he saw no way out, except for one. He'd wait for Larva to sleep first, though. Eventually he'd understand his choice. He had regained enough strength.

"Sleep by my side, Larva, please… keep the nightmares away just for one more night, so I'll never have them again…"

Larva could not refuse; he never wanted to ever again. Having to almost lose something to treasure it, he did not want anything more at this moment, except to feel the heartbeat of his other half beside him. One red-tipped hand and arm curled around the frail shoulders in the white night shirt, even as silvered burgundy locks intermingled with short aqua strands. Their foreheads touching, warm breath from the other lingering in the space between their lips, even as moonlit seas blended with purple honeysuckle.

"I'd never hurt you intentionally, you have to remember that-" Outburst of words like trippy gunfire staccatos were silenced by one finger on those faded cherry lips.

"Shh…" Then he was pressing his colourless lips reverently to Garline's. Recapturing the pure lucid stream of sweetness and bliss that wound them together once more, it drew both into the respite of what had always been their eden against the harsh realities of the world. Suspended from Time temporarily, for what could not be eternally preserved.

Garline broke the kiss first, resting his head on Larva's chest, hearing the unwavering consistency of that heartbeat. His soulmate would endure, long after he had crumbled into dust.

One pale hand was draped tenderly over the skin covering Garline's heart. Larva could feel the faint but unerring rhythm and it was the warmth, the closeness and that comforting sound which lulled him into dreams.


Even, deep breathing told him that he was asleep. Carefully disentangling himself from that embrace, he pulled away from Larva slowly. His face lingering close to his beloved, lips less than a hairs-breadth away from those pale, cool ones. He couldn't kiss them, for fear of waking him up. But he paused, the sweet warmth of air from between those slightly parted lips brought back memories to cushion the constant ache he now felt in his chest. One hand gripped the hilt of Song Of The Night.

Drawing back until he was off the bed on the opposite side, the left hand wrapped around his right. The raised blade was faced downwards in the moonlight, but he must not hesitate now. Lost in the remembrance of their first kiss in those fields of lavender flowers, a happy smile blossomed on that delicate face as he thrust the sword towards himself ferociously.

What happened next, could only be described as !

(TBC)