The Continuing Misadventures of SG-1 or 101 Things A Girl Can Do.
by ALC Punk! and Ryuu
Chapter Eleven: Where Jack Makes Out and Sam Is Given Good Advice

"Ahhh..." Jonas put down his latte with a pleased sigh. "Hair gel's not the only thing about Earth I missed."

Sam looked over at Daniel. "He missed coffee and hair gel more than us. I'm hurt."

Daniel looked at his Americano mournfully. "I'm gonna miss real coffee. Jonas has his priorities straight, Sam."

She made a face. "You guys are incorrible."

"I prefer to think we're endearing," Daniel replied with dignity.

She snorted and took a sip of her hot cocoa. It was strange to think of the changes that had occurred so quickly. Pete saying goodbye, putting her foot down at the General for his over-protectiveness, Captain Jones, and now Jonas. "The nurses certainly think you are."

"Hey," Jonas perked up even more (if that were possible), "Is Lieutenant Rush still around?"

"Yes," smirking, Sam took another sip, then dipped her biscotti in and swirled it around. "And she's a Captain, now."

"Cool."

"Wait... Rush," Daniel frowned, "That's the, the one with the -"

"Huge tracts of land?" supplied Sam with a smirk.

"Right."

Daniel, at least, had the grace to blush. Jonas just continued smiling.

Shaking her head, Sam took a bite of her now-soaked biscotti.

"Anyway, Sam, I think being at the Alpha Site is going to be exciting."

Daniel looked at Jonas, then looked at Sam, "Was I ever this bouncy?"

"You were worse."

"Oh."

"Come on, Dr. Jackson, don't you find it exciting?"

"Yeah, maybe. And please, Mr. Quinn, call me Daniel."

The Kelownan nodded, "Only if you call me Jonas, like Sam and the General do."

"Fine. Jonas." Daniel made a face. "I really can't believe I was as bouncy as you."

"Not bouncy. You were very... earnest."

"And, wait." Eyeing her, Daniel turned to Jonas, "She's forgetting how eager she was. I remember her practically giddy with excitement when I showed her the cartouche. She couldn't shut up about it."

"Well, it was exciting!"

"See?" Jonas looked at them both, smug. "Youdo find things exciting."

"Fine, fine, point conceded." Daniel made a face, "I just... I've died a lot. Shouldn't I be jaded?"

Sam rolled her eyes, "Yes, of course you should, Daniel."

He stuck his tongue out at her. "C'mon, Sam, you know what I mean."

"No, actually, I don't. There is wonder in the universe, Daniel. Even after you've been tortured and injured and killed and revived too many times to count, you can't just give that up."

"Especially not when you're having sex with Jack."

She glared at him. "And just what makes you think that?"

Daniel looked innocent. "Oh, I don't know... you're glowing and actually taking time off when it's offered, he's glowing and cracking more bad jokes than usual, the unresolved sexual tension at the SGC has gone down tenfold..."

"Anyone ever tell you you're evil, Dr. Jackson?" she muttered, scowling down at her cup.

"All the time," he remarked cheerfully. "C'mon, Sam... you know I've been cheering you guys on since day one." He smirked. "Course, it might've helped if you'd wound up at Jack's place once in a while. Y'know... so someone would be there when I called?"

Jonas beamed at her. "You and the General?"

Sam flushed and nodded, ducking her head. Jonas' smile became even brighter.

"Congratulations! It's taken long enough!"

"Got that right," Daniel said pleasantly.

Sam tried not to smile. "Fine, Jack and I have been... discussing a few matters pertaining to our relationship. But, at the moment, we really can't be public about it."

"But when we leave..." Daniel's eyes twinkled wickedly.

She couldn't stop the grin that crossed her face. "Yeah."


"We really have to stop meeting like this."

The General wasn't listening, his hands sliding under her BDU top, his lips trailing down her neck.

Sam let out a hiss and arched into his touch. "Really. People might start talking."

The storage closet on level 19 was a smallish room. Just large enough for buckets and mops, and the General and the Colonel. Sam wasn't sure who had started using it as a place for this sort of thing, but she was glad she'd never used it before now.

"Carter," he announced, the tone irritated, and slightly muffled, "Shut up."

"Shutting up, sir." With her hand in his hair, she turned her head and pulled his mouth to hers. The kiss was hard containing everything and nothing and she wanted the world to stop so she wouldn't have to.

He explored under her shirt, his fingertips gliding smoothly over her skin. "So damn hot..." he muttered.

Sam groaned softly and pressed against him. "Thanks..." A thought occurred to her. "How much longer do we have?"

"Not long enough," he replied with a groan of his own.

"Jaaaaaaack..."

He stopped kissing her and pulled back. "You're right."

"I am?"

"We've got to stop meeting like this."

"Yeah." Pulling back further, she sighed. "I should go make sure the skids are all in the gateroom."

His fingers slid across her ribs one last time, then he released her. "You're not going to be able to walk for two days when you get back."

"I'm not?" Her eyes dared him.

His mouth closed on the side of her neck, and he bit down lightly. "I think I'll tie you to my bed."

"Sounds like a plan, General."

"That's why I got the stars on my uniform," he replied smugly. His lips pressed soothingly against the place he'd just bitten before he drew his head back.

"You sure it wasn't for all those times we saved the world?" She grinned.

"Well, maybe a bit," he conceded.

"Maybe more than a bit." She paused for a moment, then suddenly threw her arms back around him. A startled Jack happily returned the hug.

"Thought you had things to do, Carter?"

She buried her head against his shoulder. "I'll be back."

He sighed and ran his hands along her back comfortingly. "Of course you will."

"I should go before Daniel comes looking for me."

"Yeah." He kissed her again. "Might give him a shock."

"Actually..."

"What?"

Sam reluctantly let him go, then stepped away and smoothed down her shirt. "He knows." Opening the door, she glanced at him, "Apparently, all of SG-1 do."

"Huh." He followed her out of the closet, intent on escorting her to the gateroom. "They do?"

"Daniel said something about you never being home."

A smirk tipped up one side of Jack's mouth. "He'd be right, Carter."

She grinned back. "You probably shouldn't encourage him, sir. He's enjoying this far too much already."

Jack looked very, very pleased with himself. "So am I, Colonel."

She raised an eyebrow and smirked, making Jack suddenly very, very sorry they'd already left the closet. "Y'know, he's right... you are glowing these days."

"Ya telling me I'm about to start craving pickles and ice cream, Carter?"

"God." She stopped dead in the middle of the hall and stared at him. "You. Pregnant. What a frightening concept, sir."

"I think my kids would be cute."

She raised an eyebrow at him, then continued to the elevator and swiped her card through. "Wow. It'll be three weeks before I do that again..."

"Yeah." He stepped in and nudged her with his shoulder. "I made sure they put extra blue jello on the skids for you."

"Gosh, sir. You're so thoughtful." But she was smiling.

"There's also something called mango-riffic kool-aid, and ten pounds of macadamia nuts." He made a face. "I'm keeping all my team leaders happy, this way."

Sam chuckled. "Relatively speaking, anyway."

Hidden by their bodies, Jack reached down and slid his hand through hers, gripping her fingers firmly. "Well, there's only so much I can do, Carter."

"And some things that just can't go on those skids," she agreed and squeezed back. "Still, we all knew this was going to be a bit hard, didn't we, sir?"

He smiled and nodded. "We certainly did, Carter."

"Besides. I might get bored if I have you around all the time, and start kicking you out of bed."

He didn't get to answer her with more than a squawk, as the elevator doors opened on the level and she stepped out, pulling her hand smoothly out of his and nodding to a nearby airman.

It felt strangely official to walk her to the gateroom.

Right outside the door, he reached out and touched her shoulder. "You will come back."

"Yes, sir." She half-turned and saluted him.

"Hey, Sam!" Daniel came bouncing up, Jonas, Teal'c and Theo trailing behind him. "You all ready?"

"Ugh." She eyed them. "You all look very... bouncy today."

"Well, we are going to the Alpha Site, Sam," Daniel smirked, "It's a little exciting."

"Indeed." Teal'c inclined his head, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Theo grinned. "We're all packed up, sir. Adding Mr. Quinn's-"

"Jonas," he interrupted.

"...Jonas' supplies wasn't a problem at all."

"Didn't think it would be, Captain." Sam smiled. "Thanks."

Jack watched Sam interact with her team, feeling just a bit left out.

Which was strange, because he never thought he'd feel left out of SG-1. But then, he'd never thought he'd make General, either. "Hey!"

They all stopped and looked at him. Captain Jones responded. "Sir?"

"You guys ready to sign your ticket to Rio?"

Sam glanced at them, then nodded, "Let's go, people."

Jack walked them into the gateroom and nodded to the other two teams also waiting. He waved up at the control room, and the gate began dialling.

"You should say something, Jack." Daniel poked him in the arm. "Inspire the troops."

"Daniel."

"Jack."

"Daniel -"

"Just a few words, Jack."

"Fine, fine."

The gate whooshed into existance and Jack stepped up onto the ramp and turned to face his people. "Ah! I never get tired of this. The gate. Going through it to strange new worlds, seeking out new life and civilizations -"

"O'Neill, is that not -"

"Hush, T." Jack shoved his hands into his pockets. "What I'm sayin' is, good luck. Try not to get caught or killed. Come back to us, alive." The last was said as he looked directly at Sam.

She nodded, her eyes serious.

Everyone else saluted.

"Now, get the hell off my base, people."

A small snort escaped from the direction of Colonel Riker who displayed an innocent expression and a salute when Jack glanced over at her.

"SG-17 is ready to go, sir."

Jack nodded and stepped off the ramp, gesturing toward the gate. "You have a go, Colonel."

Teryl nodded and gestured at her team. "Let's go, people." They followed her up the ramp and disappeared, followed by Colonel Lambert and SG-15.

Sam smiled and saluted. "Don't let anyone mess with my lab, sir. Let's move out, SG-1."

"Don't worry, Carter, Siler promised me they'd have it back to normal before you returned."

"I didn't hear that, sir," She called, glancing back with a smile. And then she stepped through the wormhole.

Jack stood and watched the last two skids trundle up the ramp, and then they were gone.

"General," Walter's voice came over the intercom. "The Alpha Site reports all arrived safe and sound, sir. And you have a meeting with SG-10 in five minutes."

"Thank you." He muttered as he turned away from the gate as the wormhole disappeared.


Sam looked at the full pack sitting on the bed in her quarters and sighed. What she wanted was to flop across the bed and allow herself a short wallow in self-pity at the fact that she'd be sleeping alone this evening. But she probably needed to unpack first. If only to clear some room. She pushed her hands in her pockets, a gesture she'd unconsciously picked up from her former CO, then frowned as she found something there.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

Colonel Pierce entered. "Colonel Carter, I'm sorry for the interruption. I'm sure you'd like a bit more time to settle in, but Commander Thor has just arrived and wished to see a demonstration of the weapon you used on P3X-333."

She smiled. "Of course." She ran a hand through her hair. "If I could just have a moment, sir?"

Colonel Pierce nodded. "Briefing room in ten minutes, Colonel Carter."

"Thank you."

She reached into her pocket as the door closed and pulled out the mysterious object, breaking into a wide smile at finding one of Jack's battered yo-yo's. He must've slipped it to her while they were in the storage closet.

"Hope this isn't some sort of meta-commentary on my mental state," she murmured, running her fingertips gently over the toy before sliding it back into her pocket. She patted her hair, making sure it and she were somewhat tidy, before she slipped out of her quarters and headed for the briefing room.

Along the way, she ran into Mat'rik who was clearly delighted to see her again. He'd already run into Daniel and Teal'c who had gone out to talk to the rebel jaffa who were currently at the Alpha Site and he was settling in very well here, thank you.

"It will be wonderful to work alongside you again, Colonel Samantha," Mat'rik said, inclining his head respectfully.

She laughed. "Mat'rik, you know you can call me Sam, right?"

"But Colonel is your title, is it not?" Mat'rik asked, and Sam suddenly recognized the look of slight awe and deep admiration in his eyes.

So she smiled and nodded. "Yes, it is. But to my friends, I'm Sam."

Mat'rik paused, a slow smile crossing his face. "I am honored...Sam."

They continued on, Sam asking him how things were going. Once in the briefing room, Colonel Pierce introduced her to the scientists and Thor who greeted her with his usual solemnity, and turned the meeting over to her. "I'm not completely sure what Ba'al's weapon actually does, but it appears to be a variation of the energy emitted by a normal ribbon device combined with what could be gravity." She paused, then smiled, "Actually, it would probably be best to demonstrate it, if you'll all follow me."

With a nod to Colonel Pierce, she turned and left the room, heading for the lab area erected in one side of the hangar bay. There were technicians swarming the ship, as they approached, one of them came over. "Colonel Carter!"

"Hey, Dr. Frost." She smiled, "I thought I'd show everyone how this thing works."

"Sure thing, Colonel." With a smile of his own, Dr. Frost waved to one of his assistants, who scurried off and returned with the modified hand device.

Carefully, Sam slipped it on, feeling the metal warm as it wrapped around her skin. "Everyome ready?"

One of the scientists waved to a target. "We're ready, sir."

Opening her hand, Sam felt the power gathering down her arm a moment before it flashed outwards, the violet light enveloping the target. Control, she thought. And the target began to fall apart, pieces dropping to the ground.

Less than a minute later, it was gone. She shut down the device, panting slightly.

"You believe it would be possible to alter this device so that anyone could use it, Colonel Carter?" Thor asked, a note of what might be amazement in his voice.

She nodded. "That's what we hope, anyway."

"To have an effective weapon against the Replicators would restore a great deal of hope to the Asgard," Thor replied gravely.

Sam tried to fight down the surge of guilt she felt, remembering what had happened to the first highly effective weapon they'd managed to give the Asgard. There was nothing accusing in Thor's manner as he regarded her. She only sensed interest and barely-contained enthusiasm.

Sam looked down at the hand device, studying it as she pulled it from her arm and set it on a table. "During the battle on P3X-333, I observed that control of the hand device seems to be linked to the amount of emotional focus the user has."

"This some sort of Vulcan thing?" Dr. Frost asked. "Pushing down all your emotions?"

"Vulcan?" Thor asked, sounding politely baffled.

Sam grinned faintly and shook her head. "No. Not controlling your emotions, Dr. Frost. Focusing on certain ones." She looked thoughtful. "Focused will, maybe. You either have to be angry enough or want to destroy your target enough."

"Interesting." The man reached for the device, "And the weapon inside the cargo ship?"

"There wasn't time to test it," Sam looked over at the ship, "But, if you'd like...?"

It was probably irritating to the scientists to not be able to use either device without someone with naquadah in their blood.

Dr. Frost pursed his lips. "Actually, Colonel, I think we'd better wait until we've figured out how to shield more of the base from it. I'm not sure a massive surge of gravity would be good for some of the delicate electronics here."

"Right." She nodded. "Any questions?"

The scientists descended on her, asking question after question about her experience with the hand device and the cargo ship until she wanted to scream at them. Finally, Thor raised a hand. "I believe, Samantha Carter, you have provided us all with the data we require at this time."

"Well, good." She glanced at her watch, wincing, "I have a team meeting to get to. Have fun dissecting things."

Thor nodded and startled Sam by reaching out to shake her hand. "You have the gratitude of my people, Samantha Carter."

"Uh... you're welcome." She hoped she wasn't flushing. "It was the least I could do."

"Do not think of it," Thor answered graciously. "You have already given us a great deal."

"Thor... My mistake means that the one weapon we had against the Replicators was ineffective." Gesturing at the cargo ship, she sighed. "Who knows how long before they work out a way to protect themselves from this?"

"It will take them time. And, as all, we learn from our mistakes." Thor paused, then continued, "In the end, the responsibility of the Replicators can be laid solely at the door of the Asgard. Not at yours, Samantha."

"Well..." Awkwardly realizing he was right, but still unable to let the guilt go completely, Sam shifted, "I-I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one."

Thor blinked. "As you wish."

"Yeah. Look, I should go. I'll see you later?"

"I assume so. Tell the rest of SG-1 I said good day."

Sam smiled, guessing he'd been picking up speech patterns from the people of Earth. "I'll do that."

Thor nodded, his expression as close to a smile as an Asgard could get. "I also hope that you will give my regards to O'Neill the next time you see him."

Sam's smile widened and she returned the nod. "I will. Thank you."