O M G! I haven't updated this story for YEARS O.O! But anyway, HERE'S A NEW CHAPTER :D! to those who have reviewed the previous chapters, THANK YOU SO MUCH! You guys and gals are the reason why this story is back up and running :D! Oh…and don't worry it's not the end of Meryl yet ;)!

Chapter 8: Death is not for you

She can feel the rain entering it, cleansing it as it carried more of her blood down her arm. She gave out a small cry as she clutched her upper arm. The knife cut it deep and wide. If the bleeding is not stopped, she knew she would die of blood loss in less than a day.

"I….I…couldn't do it…." Solidus stood behind her, holding the bloodied knife to his side…. "I couldn't kill you…." He felt his hand limp as it slowly let go of the knife. As it fell on the ground, he could see the rain washing the blood away.

"WHYYYYYYY!" he suddenly shouted "WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU!" He kicked the knife on the ground "WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU!"

But Meryl remained still on the wet floor. She was still on her knees, clutching her bleeding wound as she stared on the ground. She couldn't believe she escaped death once again. But still her mind was blank. She couldn't believe what just happened.

Solidus started to pace around her, feeling agitated, confused, but he kept on lashing out, shouting out loud. "WHY CAN'T I! WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU! YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME!"

"I…I've never had trouble killing people before! I've killed countless men, children, women…BUT WHY CAN'T I KILL YOU! WHY!"

Meryl, still staring on the ground, not moving, quietly said "Maybe because you're starting to change…."

Solidus stopped pacing and stood in front of her. "I can never change! Can't you see! I'M A MONSTER! I'M A KILLER! A MURDERER!"

"But you didn't kill me…." She softly said as she looked up to him.

Maybe I can kill her now. He thought to himself. But the knife was now gone. Out of reach, probably laying in a patch of grass somewhere out there, where he can't get to it. He can still see the blood gushing out of her upper arm, her hand still on it, trying to make the bleeding stop. Was she really trying to make the bleeding stop? Or did she just want to feel the wound he inflicted on her?

Solidus knew that at that moment, he finally failed….The great Solidus finally failed. The great Solidus finally dead. The man who was once great, is not dead. Dead in the hands of a little girl named Meryl Silverburgh. He has finally died…Because of her…He's dead….gone. DEAD…

Solidus fell on his knees in front of her. "We have to treat that….or you will die." He said. His voice still sounded cold.

Meryl looked at him but didn't say anything.

He unwrapped his shirt from his stomach, where the gun wound is. Meryl looked at him as he did. Still, she said nothing.

After unwrapping it, he slowly reached out to her arm. "Take your hand away…Don't worry…". His voice was still monotonous, but Meryl felt something different about it now. Someof the coldness in it were gone.

For some weird reason, Meryl felt comfortable enough to take her hand away from her bloodied shoulder. She still didn't trust him completely Must be a part of his plan…but at this point…I have no choice. I'm losing blood, and I'm loosing it fast. Not only that, but I'm…feeling faint….. She told herself.

Solidus pressed the wound hard, forcing it to close. Meryl let out a small ghasp of pain as he did. He wanted to punch him for doing that, but she knew it was for the better. This is not the right time to let go of my temper……but why is he doing this?

"Okay…now I'm going to need your help in this, okay?" He told Meryl.

Meryl didn't say anything.

"I need you to hold on to your arm this way, that will keep the wound as closed as possible as I cover it. Don't worry…."

Why did he keep on telling me to "not worry"? Is he trying to make me feel comfortable around him? Comfortable enough to abuse me again? Maybe that's why he wants me alive…to USE ME again as he did a while ago….But I won't let him. I won't let him this time… Meryl clenched her teeth in anger. She still couldn't forget everything that he did to her. What if she didn't wake up in time!

Solidus finished tying up a piece of his shirt over Meryl's arm. "There…The bleeding's going to stop for now, but we still have to get you to a doctor."

Meryl suddenly pushed him away, still saying nothing. But Solidus felt its force nonetheless, as the force pushed him back.

I can't believe I'm going to say this. "I'm…sorry…" He whispered.

Meryl couldn't believe what she just heard. But she still couldn't let her guard down. She didn't know what kind of game he's playing this time, but she cannot let him touch her again. NEVER AGAIN.

"Meryl….Please…" he tried to reach out to her, but she quickly hit his arm away.

"Stay away from me!" She shouted.

What am I feeling? He told himself Why do I have to keep up with this! I let go of myself, I let go of my essence, my personality for her! This girl who HATES me! Who loathes me! Maybe it's still not late. Maybe it's still not too late for me to go back to who I once was…a monster……

"I said I'm sorry, okay!"

"You can't change what's been done!" That's the only thing Meryl said and it hit him. It hit him hard.

"Then what about all the things you told me, Meryl! What about all that 'talk' about 'change'? What if right now, at this moment, I could change?" he stared at her…He looked into her eyes, looking for an ounce of feeling…a sign that she will give him a chance.

I feel like an idiot! He thought…

But still, Meryl said nothing…..She still sat there, in front of him…looking at him blankly.

He didn't feel anything in her stare. Nothing was there. He knew she could never forgive him. And he will never be able to forgive himself for falling into this trap set by his feelings for her…The woman he wanted.

But here he was…PLEADING for this woman's affection….Pleading, begging for her forgiveness. He's never been in this situation before. Even to plead, he hadn't done before. He never begged anything from anyone, but here he was…surrendering himself to her…to this woman…the man that his brother loved…THIS woman, who gave him pain…THIS WOMAN who never loved him.

Yet he was there, sitting in front of her, staring at her, as she stared at him back…Stared at him with the coldness in her eyes. The coldness that once filled his soul before he killed it before he killed himself and gave it all up.

"Can't you see? I…I wanna change, Meryl…" he can feel his voice shaking…

"You can't trick me. You will not trick me again!" She told him with a firm voice. "What's this, huh!" She looked at her arm the arm that Solidus just treated. The arm that he himself had saved. " Is this another one of your tricks! Another one of your tricks so that you could win me back and use me again!"

She grabbed her arm and squeezed it tight "I AM NOT A FOOL, SOLIDUS! I once thought you changed, but I can never forgive you for what you've done to me!" She squeezed the wound harder. She felt the pain shoot up her arm as she HURT herself. Hurt herself for his pleasure.

"Is this what you want! IS PAIN WHAT YOU WANT, Solidus!" She squeezed it harder and almost cried out in agony. But she had to hold it back. She had to show him how strong she truly was.

"STOP IT, MERYL! STOP IT!" He cried. As he looked at her, clutching her wound, bringing pain to herself, he too, thought of pain. His thoughts were suddenly filled with the faces of his victims. Their faces filled with death and agony as he killed them, as he mutilated their bodies.

He saw them in his head, crying out for mercy. He saw their blood on his body, on his guilty hands. He remembered all those innocent people he slaughtered, the children that died on the fields, killed by his own deeds. But most of all, he remembered James and Ainka. Two of the people he killed because they wanted freedom…The same freedom that he was fighting for when he went against the Patriots in the Big Shell. The freedom he sought because he didn't want to be controlled anymore. He didn't want to follow the patriots anymore. THAT same freedom.

Thoughts of all this flooded his mind, and he was drowning in them. He couldn't see. His eyes didn't work. Only his mind saw, and he wanted the thoughts out. Why are they haunting me now that I've changed! WHY! Get out of my head!

Then he heard her cry out…"AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

He opened her eyes and saw blood on the bandage that covered her wound as Meryl continued to squeeze it

"STOP IT! STOP IT, MERYL!" He quickly lunged at her and pulled her hand away from the wound. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

And then he wrapped his arms around her, and just held her close to him "Don't hurt yourself….please. We've both had too much pain in our lives already…we don't need more of them…."

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