Author's Note: Little humorous one-shot I randomly came up with after taking one look at this photo: www. jaffakree. pwp. blueyonder. co. uk/ jaffakree/ fact/ photoamanda.jpg (minus spaces) It might be a good idea to take a look at it before you read, but it's not necessary!

Ah...song to listen to whilst reading (if you have it) is 'Never Known A Girl Like You Before' by Edwyn Collins.

Dedicated to: Jill and Sam...For them challenging me to write this fic, and for our long discussions on Jack's reaction! (coughgooey puddle of droolcough) And Sam for being my beta (big hugs and kisses)


NEVER KNOWN A GIRL LIKE YOU BEFORE


I've never known a girl like you before
Now just like in a song from days of yore
Here you come a-knockin', knockin' on my door
And I've never met a girl like you before

You give me just a taste so I want more
Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw
'Cos now you've got me crawling, crawling on the floor
And I've never known a girl like you before

You've made me acknowledge the devil in me
I hope to God I'm talkin' metaphorically
Hope that I'm talkin' allegorically
Know that I'm talkin' about the way I feel
And I've never known a girl like you before
Never, never, never, never
Never known a girl like you before

This old town's changed so much
Don't feel like I belong
Too many protest singers
Not enough protest songs
And now you've come along
Yes you've come along
And I've never met a girl like you before


He stared at his in-tray for five minutes, considering. The stack was growing, having doubled since he became a general, and his out-tray still remained empty, apart from a few sheets of paper that he didn't dare check, most likely covered with a fine sheen of dust. He hated paperwork. And yet the position he accepted was one that was mainly paperwork. And he had known that when he accepted. He snorted. Idiot.

Another glance at the report on his computer, and he sighed. He just wasn't going to get it done. Instead he grabbed his coffee cup and looked into it, growling when he saw it was empty. That was it. He'd go to Daniel, who most likely had a stash of freshly brewed coffee hiding in his lab. Maybe he could annoy the others as entertainment.

Thinking about it, it would probably be suicide venturing into Danny's lab. Last time he'd been there, he couldn't help but fiddle with a small artefact that had apparently been fragile. Very fragile. So much so that he had been banned from going near anything Daniel was working on again. Oh well. Teal'C would most likely be in the gym, and he didn't feel like getting all sweaty yet...after just having a nice refreshing shower. So it was Carter.

Besides, he needed that report from her.


Her lab was dark when he approached it, but that was normal for her. She would often work through the day, so engrossed in the project that she didn't notice if her lights were on or not. He swore it would damage her eyesight one of these days. At least the klaxons were loud enough to bring her out of her reveries; otherwise he'd have to restrict her hours spent in the lab. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea...

"Carter? I need that report..."

Ah, she wasn't there. Just when he was relying on her to be there. Okay, so it wasn't a bad thing all things taken into consideration, but he really needed that report...

He quickly checked her desk, rifling through pieces of paper, which contained drawings that made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever no matter which way up he held them. A few manila folders that lay neatly stacked to the side looked promising, but they only contained more of the drawings, and even more confusing words and numbers.

Sighing, he started to turn away when he caught sight of an envelope with the words 'Colonel Carter' scrawled on. Normally this wouldn't have been particularly out of the ordinary, but it happened to look very much like Teal'C's writing. And the Jaffa had very distinctive handwriting.

He assumed it was a report or something, but his curiosity got the better of him and he opened the top and pulled out a sheet of glossy paper. Checking to see that no one was around, he turned it over.

And gasped.

"Holy..."


Author's Note: God, I'm cruel. Yes, it's a one-shot in a few chapters! Already got them written, I just need to post them up here. So if you want the next one, review!