Chapter 8 – The Final Report

"Bart can you stay here for an hour?" Marge asks.

"No problemo." replies her son staring hypnotically at the TV.

She picks up Maggie and the rest follow her to the car. She drives pensively. Everyone is exceptionally quiet except for an occasional sucking noise from Maggie in her car seat as she manipulates her pacifier. The one-year-old looks worriedly from one to the other of her family members because of the unaccustomed silence. They arrive and enter the office. Skinner is already there drumming his fingers nervously on the chair's arm. As the Simpsons settle in chairs, Dr Hibbert speaks:

"I won't keep you in suspense any longer folks. Heh, heh, heh, hee, hee, hee…."

"Get on with it, doc!" interjects Homer impatiently.

"Well, all I can say Mr. Simpson. You have a daughter!"

"You mean…?"

Hibbert nods assent. Everyone sighs in collective relief.

"Whoo-hoo mama!" Homer jumps up pumping his arms and doing a little jiggy dance. "There's to you and your 'sample' Skinner!" Homer continues to dance and wave his butt in Seymour's direction. The principal just stares and frowns.

"But doctor – what about the medical report from the plant? It said Homer's count was only 10 of normal." asks Marge

"Well, what about it? It only takes one of the little buggers to do the job…heh, heh, heh."

Homer finally sits down. Lisa goes over to him and plants a big kiss on his cheek and squirms into the chair next to him. "DAD." she says contentedly putting her arms as far as they will go around him. "There's more to being a parent than just biology. Thanks for being a REAL father!"

"Good heavens!" Skinner suddenly exclaims. "I left mother soaking the bathtub!" he jumps ups and rushes out of the office.

Hibbert suddenly becomes serious. "But, Mrs. Simpson, if Homer's count went down 90 in the two years he worked at the nuclear facility it's possible that he was completely sterile by the time Lisa started walking. And if it was 7 years between Lisa and Maggie, then……"

"Oh, no!" Marge laments putting her free hand to her forehead, "Here we go again!"

Maggie who has been quietly sitting in Marge's lap takes out her pacifier and suddenly sneezes. "N'hey! N'hey!" sounding an awful lot like Professor Frink.

The end – or is it?