X. THE DASH'S NEW CLOTHES

"Whew," Helen sighed at her husband as she reentered the kitchen. "That boy wasn't lying. He ate three eggs, four strips of bacon, and five whole pancakes."

"That's my boy; a chip off the old block," he said from behind his paper. He had once again opened it, this time to the help wanted ads as he still sought to replace the job that he'd lost at Insuricare.

Helen then went about her daily business. She started putting away the dishes she'd washed the night before while Jack-Jack played in his highchair next to Bob. The boy giggled and laughed as his eyes followed his mother's arm as she stretched it over his head and clear across the room to return each dish to its proper cupboard. After several minutes of some seeming normalcy the doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" she asked. She picked up Jack-Jack and the three headed for the door.

Bob opened the door and to his surprise there was no one there. Then he heard her.

"Hello dahlings," Edna said. Bob looked down to see the woman dressed in an effeminate Johnny Cash outfit.

"E! co- come in," Helen said shocked at her presence. Edna never made house calls, especially uninvited ones.

"Vhere is he! Vhere is he!" Edna questioned as she stormed into the house.

"What? Where's who?" Bob replied. Jack-Jack laughed hysterically at her.

"Zat little speed demon of yours. I believe you call him Dash? I saw his picture in the morning paper and recognized ze suit. I came right over."

They led her back to his room.

"I just feel so responsible, so responsible" she continued. "I hadn't designed a super suit in so long zat I forgot to take into account all of ze dangers associated vith super speed." About that time they rounded the corner into Dash's room where the boy sat on his bed reading a comic book. "Zere zou are dahling! And zou are ok I am most pleased, most pleased! Zou must not have been going at full speed when zou crashed."
Dash stared at the woman with a deer in the headlights look. "Dash," Helen explained, "this is Miss Mode. She's the woman who made our super suits."

"Fehk! Dahling," she exclaimed, "formalities are too overrated; they distract from ze true personality." She turned to Dash with an enormous smile. "Please, call me E, everybody does."

"Oh ok," Dash said. "Hi."

"Shush, shush, shush, shush" she continued. "I vould svat zou vith a rolled up newspaper if it vasn't for ze bumps on zou head. Do not talk. Zou must keep up your strength."

Dash stared at her blankly.

"Now tell me child, vhat happened?"

"Well-"

"Don't talk!" she screamed at him. "Now let me guess child, zou veren't looking vhere zou vere going now vere zou silly child?"

Dash looked down and nodded slightly.

"Yes, yes, yes silly child. Zou must always look at where zou are going. Remind me to hit zou vith a newspaper for zat later. Now let's see." She pulled out a pen and paper. "Zou vill need a new suit that much is certain."

"Now wait a minute E, I don't think-" Bob interjected.

Edna jumped upright on the bed glaring up at him poking him in the nose with her pen. "Do not interrupt me Robert!" She got back down and sat beside the bed starting to doodle. "Now let me see ve vill start vith ze same design."

"Wait a minute E," Helen started, "isn't that what messed him up in the first place?"

"Fehk! Dahling have you no faith in me. That suit was cut from some of ze strongest material I have. How do you zink it could vithstand all zat friction?" She turned to Dash. "In fact it vas made from ze very same mega mesh I used to make your father's first suit." She turned back to Bob. "Even if zey are just hobo pajamas. Still neverzeless zey vorked."

"Then why did I get hurt?" Dash asked.

"No talking!" This time she slapped his hand with her tablet. "Ze suit absorbed most of ze impact of course. Vhy do zou zink zou are still alive?"

Helen's eyes grew as she nearly passed out from the comment. "Bob maybe we should reconsider Dash using his powers."

"Shh, shh, shh" Edna scolded. "Don't even zink such things." She went back to her tablet. "Viz a few modifications adding protection for ze head and a few other sensitive places he vill have no trouble, just no trouble at all." She looked up at Bob and Helen. "Now tell me, are zere any shall ve say new findings about the boy's powers?"

"Well he can run on water," Bob said.

"My, my, my, very impressive," she said as sge jotted down notes. "I shall have to take that into consideration. Is zat all?"

No one said anything. Finally Dash spoke up. "Well there is one more-" he waited and braced himself to be scolded or hit again but it never came.

"Yes, yes child speak up, speak up."

"Well, if I'm going fast enough I can run up walls a little ways and even make it a short distance on ceilings before I start to fall."

"I see, I see, very interesting. Zis may be more of a challenge zen I zought. Very vell though, very vell." She got up to leave. "You vill come to see it just as soon as you are vell enough. I insist." She exited the room with Bob, Helen, and Jack-Jack close behind.

"Bye," Dash called out to her slightly confused but trying to be polite.

"NO TALKING!" he heard the reply come from around the corner.

"Vell I must be off dahlings, so much vork for zese fashion shows." She exited the door then turned to Helen. "And don't vorry dahling it vill still be machine vashable."

Edna turned and waddled down to her waiting limo. Bob and Helen closed the door, sat down, and stared blankly at one another trying to figure out what had just occurred. In Helen's lap Jack-Jack giggled and laughed hysterically.