A/N- Yay! There's a snow day today...that means...that I have time to write this fic...I'm like running out of ideas!!! I have to figure out how to end this story cuz' I'm so tired of writing! Well, I'm not going to abandon this story even though it's driving me crazy. I know all of you are very anxious for Sakura to get her memories back...Well...here it goes:
Chapter 18- Real Affections
Sakura's Chambers
Sakura was sitting in front of her dressing table as she brushed her silky, auburn tresses. There was a warm feeling glowing and growing in her heart and she had a small smile on her face, a real one! She didn't know how a friendly walk could have affected her this much. Her cheeks were also warmed. She was blushing.
She remembered how cheerful she felt when she spent lunch hour with Syaoran, alone, outside in the garden. It was very pleasant to have company since her father is always busy doing paperwork and traveling, same with Yukito. Even Touya had time to avoid her, well, not done intentionally. He'd rather train and if he does see her around, he would tease her like all immature brothers out there who have younger sisters. ' Kaiju', that was his famous saying.
Every servant was the same, just busy. It was as if this whole kingdom had a purpose to do something and Sakura just felt out of place. The close friend she had was Rika, who she saw only in the morning and at night. The point is that Sakura had been feel awfully lonely lately…until Syaoran stepped into her dull life.
It was very fortunate to have Syaoran around to talk to, but unfortunate that he'd leave in a week. She remembered his soft appeal, almost like Yukito, but his eyes shown a different side. His eyes were sincere and also sinister. Yukito's eyes never show sadness. Even though she had disappeared from his life for nearly ten years or so, his eyes still looked the same as it is. Sometimes, she would question his love for her. He seemed to change after that night when she met him at the ball.
Hours ago, Syaoran had told her that he knew her from somewhere while they were sitting outside in the fresh, daylight air. She was downright confused. ' What is he talking about?' She couldn't remember those gentle, amber orbs. How could she not remember someone this friendly? (A/N- At this point, Syaoran is no longer cold.)
The sky began to color into a misty darkness. It was nighttime. Rika should be coming soon. She let out a soft sight as she set the brush gently on her table. She opened her draw and started rummaging through the wooden box out of pure boredom. She felt a soft material and pulled it out. It was a delicate pink fabric that wrapped up something. ' How come I've never seen this pretty cloth before?' She slowly unwrapped the material to reveal a shining hairpiece. It was very beautiful, especially that dark emerald stone encrusted in the middle. Her mind fogged for a moment. ' What was that about?' She brushed it away as she continued to admire the barrette.
It's always so simple I could cry,
But I want to smile.
I want your affection.
' I wonder where this came from?' She thought as she absentmindedly slid it into her hair. She looked at herself in the mirror. It was indeed lovely. Someone had made this barrette especially for her because she can see her initials inscribed into the gold plating. The more she calmly stares at herself in the reflecting mirror, the more the jewel would look familiar.
She was knock out of trance when she heard the turning of the doorknob.
' Finally Rika has arrive. I can't wait to tell her of my exciting day.' Sakura thought thoughtfully. Instead, she saw Yukito hunched over at the door, wobbling. For some reason, she was disappointed. Usually she would die to ever see Yukito for just a mere minute, that's why he spent a full day with her those two days ago, well, not really...since he was knocked out of consciousness by clumsy Eriol.
" You're home so soon." Sakura greeted nervously. Yukito's eyes were dark and those mocking eyes looked at her strange. He held a bottle of wine in his hand. He approached her in a woozy fashion.
" What? You don't want me back...You know, I've came home to just be with you for tonight." He said in that smooth tone of his. His eyes were lust filled. He advanced towards her in a swaying motion and carelessly set his half empty bottle onto the table. It wasn't placed upright; so, it tipped and the alcohol started to spill onto the marble ground. He slowly edged closer to her as he started unbutton his white sleeve shirt. Was he going to force himself on her!?
" Yukito, you know I'm not ready. You'd promised that you'd wait until we're m-married." Sakura said in a shaky tone. He put his hands around her waist. " Please!" She whimpered.
She looked into his burning ice-blue eyes. He was drunk. She can smell the alcoholic stench lingering in his breath. It made her nauseous. He looked at her angrily. " You do not want to make love to me because you don't love me!" He hissed. " Is it because you've grown accustomed to that Li brat?!"
" NO!?" Sakura cried. ' What if he's right?'
" Liar!" He yelled. He started to tear at her nightdress and then threw her against the bed. He got on top of her. Sakura had never seen him drunk or ever witnessed his violent state. It was very scary. " HEY! I'm talking to you!!!" He said with toxin. " I will not have an ignorant wife-to-be." He pulled Sakura up and slapped her hard against the face. Sakura's eyes began to stream with tears as her cheek burned like hell.
" Yukito! I can't believe you." She cried as she stared at his angry, unfocused eyes. She got up with all her strength and pushed him out of the way as she made her escape. He rolled off the bed and fell to the ground. He passed out.
My true form begins to dim little by little.
From inside the surging crowd I push aside,
As long as I can't get answers
I've been searching.
Sakura ran down the dark, shadow-like halls, her cheeks continued to flame and her eyes were misty. She skidded to her 'comfort spot', which was out in the balcony that lead out to the heavenly garden. As she approached the outside world, she was surprised to see Syaoran standing there, this late at night. He stood tall and still with his hands clutching to the cold railings. His head was up to the sky and he let his chestnut strands blow freely in the soft breeze. She gaped at how handsome he was and how good-natured he seems. She turned her gaze away, panting, as she fell to her knees, down towards hard concrete ground. In the corner of her eyes, she saw his head shot towards her. She adverted her eyes to meet those soft, gentle eyes that were teasing her. She felt like crying because she felt dirty under his gaze. For goodness sake, she looked as if she'd been beaten up and she was now crying.
" Sakura!" Syaoran said in a worried tone. He ran to her. " What happened to you?" He whispered tenderly. His hand supported her back. He felt regret of not being there as he watched her fragile figure wake up to reality.
The better I becoming at telling lies and excuses,
The more I feel afraid of the emptiness inside my soul.
" Nothing, I-I just wanted some fresh air." She lied. He looked down at her and blushed bright red. He took off his long green cape and wrapped the warm cloth around her almost bare form.
" I supposed you rip your gown for the fun of it?" He said as he looked away. He was not joking...he wanted answers.
" No-N-no." Sakura blushed. The pain in her cheek was already gone. He grabbed both of her hands and gently pulled her up.
" If you don't want to tell me anything, then it's okay." Syaoran seriously said, but he was really upset that someone in the castle had hurt his Sakura. He led her towards the railing of the balcony.
" It's a beautiful scene out tonight, isn't it?" Syaoran said in a calm accent. She did not say anything. He gazed down at her and saw the sad look in her glassy green eyes. Something had fallen from her hair and it dropped to the ground. She had not noticed anything. He bent down and picked up the barrette. Amazement caught his eye and he was filled with awe. ' The hair piece,' He thought. She turned to him, looking at him shyly. He slid the barrette back into her hair and rested his fingers within the strands of her hair. He saw her tremble as the cold wind blew pass both of them.
It's always so simple...I could cry,
But I want to smile.
If I become stronger,
I'll forget even your kindness.
So I want to stay weak...
I want your affection.
Out of instinct, He enclosed his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She let out a small gasp. She was surprised.
" I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to...It's just that you were cold..." He said, embarrassed at his natural instincts. She blushed; his face was inches from hers that she could feel his light breath. She closed her eyes for a while. She felt good but she felt even better when soft lips connected to hers. She was swirled up in all sorts of emotions that tears actually started to slide through the corners of her closed eyes. She started to react to his kiss by parting her mouth. It was a very gentle kiss and she wanted more. The warm feeling left when his lips left hers. As she opened her eyes, she saw Syaoran Li, the boy who rescued her and saved her from Kira's grip. She remembered...everything.
" Thank you," She whispered. Syaoran looked at her with half opened eyes and a sheepish grin graced his face. He was still mesmerized by that kiss. It still affected him. She took the barrette from her hair, letting the hair fall and frame the sides of her face. Her eyes shone with anticipation.
" You gave me this didn't you?" She whispered to him. Syaoran's eyes widened. ' Is she getting her memories back?' He released his itchy fingers from her waist and clasped her hands.
" Sakura! Y-You've got your memories back?" Syaoran said. She nodded.
People are always solitary beings.
So I need someone.
I want to be supported and supporting.
Nothing is certain,
But in my heart...I still believe.
Sakura wrapped her arms around Syaoran's neck.
" I'm sorry that I've forgotten about you. I promised that I wouldn't but I did!" She cried. " I'm sorry that I've hurt you with my ignorance."
" Sakura, it's alright. I'm grateful to finally have you back," He cooed, " But what about Yukito."
" I DON'T LOVE YUKITO!!! I love you Syaoran." She said more quietly as she flushed. She hid her face into his chest. He gently lifted her chin with one finger to look at her beautiful, innocent features and glazed, emerald eyes. He placed his lips against her in a more passionate kiss. She moaned inside his mouth. He broke the kiss and picked her up in one swoop. He carried her into his guest bedroom.
(Warning!!! PG13 sexual contents ahead!!!)
He slowly undressed, dropping his garments to reveal a handsome, toned body. Sakura looked away and blushed. Syaoran picked up her head and placed his lips against her in a chaste kiss. He still had his boxers on and stood there in a kind gesture. He was very nervous.
Sakura looked up at him, frozen in place. She hesitantly pushed Syaoran's cape off her shoulders and it landed heavily to the ground. She unbuttoned her gown with shaking fingers. She stopped and said in an embarrassed tone.
" I-its my first time. I...don't know what to do."
He smirked at her, glad that she still has her innocence and now it would be his. He pushed her against the bed softly so that her head landed on the pillow. He carefully unbuttoned her gown and pulled it from her body revealing soft, creamy skin. She was shaking even more.
" Don't worry, I will be gentle. It's my first time too." He whispered in a loving voice. His legs were over her and he lowered himself so that his face was centimeters from her. He kissed her delicately on the tip of the nose. She smiled. He started to place butterfly kisses all around her in an elegant motion. She started to feel a wonderful sensation within her. She started panting wildly.
" Syaoran..." She begged and whimpered.
" I want us to remember this moment." He panted as he continued exploring her.
If an important thing is found,
Let's protect it till the end.
If I hit a wall that's too high...and get hurt,
I should stand up again.
Syaoran pulled the sheet over them, as the night got colder. The night was still; the only sign of movement were the dark fogs of the clouds passing by. It was truly a beautiful night. It was very peaceful.
" I l-love you." She whispered in a weary tone.
" I love you too." He whispered back. He kissed her on the back of her neck and pulled her closer to him.
They both felled asleep under the calm, breezy night. As Syaoran slept, he had a small grin plastered to his face. ' What could go wrong?'
I don't wish for anything,
Just that one is enough,
I want a place in your heart.
A/N- Well that's all for now and it's not over yet. Wow, I was really uncomfortable when I was writing that intimate scene. I was trying to make it suitable for pg13 readers. It was so hard, but this story needs some romance, so I gave it to y'all. Now, please review! Please! It took a lot of guts to write this chapter!
