Last Rurouni Kenshin the series and the characters don't belong to me. They belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki.
Chapter 6 -Memories and a Heart Held Dear
Kenshin, Nozomi, and Sensei Chikara all entered the dojo. After going through a few halls they all came to a small dining area. All three of them sat down at the table, Kenshin across from Sensei, and Nozomi to Kenshin's right.
"Nozomi…it seems today there will be no training I'm so sorry. There's just not enough time." Sensei Chikara announced as he closed his eyes and let out a sigh.
"It's all right Sensei. I understand" she replied.
"So how's Taka?" he said continuing on.
With that question a small smile overcame Nozomi's face and her eyes lit up. It had always been her pleasure to talk with her sensei, as he always found things they could both share their interests about. Her answer was, "She's doing fine. She's back at my dojo right now. I didn't think it would be a good idea to bring her along." Nozomi and her Sensei began conversing. Kenshin just sat there for a while looking down at the table. He couldn't help thinking this was his entire fault. If he hadn't come with Nozomi in the first place she would've have gotten some good training done, and been returning to home well worked in a few hours. 'She didn't even invite me…I was being selfish.' Kenshin closed his eyes tightly feeling terrible about everything that had happened earlier in the day. 'It's my entire fault' he thought.
Nozomi, for a moment, looked at Kenshin out of the corner of her eye. She then looked over at him and saw him with his head down and eyes closed tightly. At first she thought he might be in pain. Worried she watched him for a moment. Taking a small cup she poured some tea for him. Her Sensei himself had just brought it to the table when Kenshin wasn't looking.
Nozomi carefully placed the cup in front of him. A moment later he caught the scent of the hot tea as its steam slowly warmed his face. His expression turned from a self punishing expression to a calm gentle look. He opened his eyes and studied the cup.
Looking up he saw one of the things he most enjoyed. A smiling Nozomi. He looked at her for a while, and then looked back down. He felt too ashamed to show his face to her anymore. Nozomi had expected to get a smile back but not this time. Becoming more worried she looked down at her own tea cup. She sat on her cushion as she clasped her hands around her warm cup of tea. The sweet fragrance and warm steam dancing around her face was a bit too much.
Nozomi was already hot enough as it was and what she really needed at the moment was fresh air. Pushing her cup towards the middle of the table she got up.
"Nozomi…are you all right?" her Sensei asked.
She turned around and with a small smile said "I'm fine." But it was obvious to almost anyone that the smile was fake. She walked out of the room and onto the porch.
Kenshin gave a quick glance to Sensei Chikara, who was still watching Nozomi as she closed the door behind herself, and then he left also. Kenshin followed Nozomi out to the porch; he then spotted her sitting down among some of the sakura trees. Walking over he joined her on the soft pale green grass.
Sitting in front of her for a few moments Kenshin watched her as she hung her head down, hiding her face.
"Nozomi…" he began quietly. Just then a bead of water appeared from under her bangs. Quickly dropping it fell down onto a blade of grass, and finally Kenshin spoke up again. "Nozomi, are you all right?" he asked again repeating what her sensei had asked her a mere few minutes ago.
Nozomi didn't answer. She just sat there.
Kenshin had no clue what was hurting her, or why it was hurting her. He sat there for a few more moments then he carefully wrapped his arms around her body. Nozomi finally opened her eyes as he did so, another tear rolled off her cheek onto the shoulder of Kenshin's kekobi. "Why are you crying?" he finally asked.
Nozomi pulled back and looked at him as another tear slid down her cheek. Kenshin took his soft hand and gently wiped it away. Nozomi took a deep breath as she tried to calm down. Her face tinted a soft red from crying so much. Finally she managed to tell Kenshin what was hurting her so much.
"Kenshin...remember when we were kids?" she asked looking down to the grass.
In reply he nodded a yes answer to her.
"When you left...it really made me think," Nozomi stopped, and then continued. "My whole life has been a blur to me. I never knew who my parents were, or why I was even still alive. But then I met you...the only part of my life I can clearly see memories of in my mind, were of when I was with you." She finally looked back up at him.
"What do you mean?" he asked confused.
She didn't answer Kenshin. Instead she asked him a question. "Kenshin, how did you feel that day when you left me seven years ago?"
Kenshin didn't answer, or question her reply. He just waited for her to say something else.
Nozomi looked down a little once again. "I've always wondered about that. How you felt. What you were thinking. But I could never bring myself to find an answer... because I'm not you."
A long break of silence over fell them. Kenshin didn't know what to say. All these years Nozomi had remembered him? Thought about him? It was hard to believe. For most of his life now all anyone ever remembered him as, or thought of his as was a man slayer, a hitokiri battousai.
All the people he had killed, all the towns he had helped to destroy. It was horrible, but every time he tried to forget it all, it all came back to him, again, and again, and again. Like a curse of some sort that hung over him. A punishment for all of the mistakes he had made in life. A punishment for all the deaths he was responsible for.
It took Kenshin a while but he finally came back to his senses. He looked back at Nozomi. His hands were now shaking. Remembering it all again, even for a second, it was like hell. What's more is it was his story. Kenshin continued to look at Nozomi. He could only think of one thing. How all of this had been his fault. In fact he had been thinking about it all day, but it just wouldn't leave his mind. Kenshin now looked at his hands, and how they were trembling with fear. Then after a moment he looked at Nozomi. Her copper hair lightly glowed in the late afternoon sun. Her dark brown eyes were beautiful but filled with worry and sadness. And her sweet face, her cheeks tinted with a light red.
Was this the face he had seen seven years ago? No...it wasn't. It was the same person, but now Kenshin realized something. Nozomi seemed calmer. It was obvious she was still worried and scared, but her face seemed more peaceful. At last Kenshin reached his hand out and took Nozomi's hand, wrapping his fingers tight around her own. When Kenshin did this Nozomi look up at him, her dark brown eyes confused and surprised.
Suddenly Kenshin moved towards Nozomi again. Doing so he once again wrapped his arms around her gently, making sure he didn't hurt her shoulder more. Nozomi sat in his warm embrace for a moment. Then she too wrapped her arms around Kenshin's body.
A moment after she did so, Kenshin whispered something softly into her ear. "I felt terrible when I left you Nozomi," he told her.
Nozomi sat there in his embrace as her arms were wrapped around his own body at the same time. Surprised at first, she then closed her eyes and then she began to cry softly, again. Kenshin pulled back and looked at Nozomi's face again. She was once again crying. Kenshin reached his hands out and took both of her own hands in his. Suddenly Nozomi looked up at Kenshin. "Now why are you crying?" he asked softly.
She looked down silently and began talking. "Because...I thought...when you left me seven years ago...that you just wanted to get away from me, and it felt like you didn't really want to be near me. I thought that's why you had left." She paused for a moment and looked back up at Kenshin. He gave her a small smile and then took his hand and wiped the tears from her face.
"You're mistaken Nozomi, I left because I had to, it was my job, but...there is something of mine that had stayed with you for these past seven years." Kenshin told her.
Nozomi looked at him confused. Then suddenly Kenshin took Nozomi's right hand in both of his own warm palms. Doing so, he put her hand right over his heart against the soft touch of his kekobi. "My heart." he said softly.
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