Disclaimer: Do I have to? Yes I do. Awwww......well, here goes: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters, etc. created by J.K Rowling or Louise Rennison. All that I own are the characters I've created and my original plot of this story! Any questions? No? good, then R&R!
Chapter 2: The TSEIAFVCB Plan
Still Monday, September 1st
9:00 PM
The sorting ceremony was beyond marvy. We sat there for TWO HOURS (well, forty-five minutes. But still), while the teachers searched the lake for some first year who had apparently fallen into the lake and been snatched by the giant squid. Honestly, who cares! I'm hungry! The squid is fine, a little first year won't hurt it.
9:15 PM
Finally the first year arrived soaking and very soggy looking.
Then the sorting hat started singing and wouldn't shut up for hours. It was taking a-a-ages for everyone to be sorted. Aggie's younger sister Magda ended up in Gryffindor with us.
Diana, Jenna and me played hangman on a spare piece of parchment until Professor Snape saw us and summoned the paper away, giving us the look. Killjoy.
9:28 PM
After the sorting Prof. Dumbledore (or Prof. D as I call him) said tons of stuff about you-know-who and Harry. He was so serious! It was physically depressing. Then we all raised our glasses to Sirius Black (what, the murderer? There was a rumour he was innocent, but I never heard the full story), and Harry Potter. I was toasting Harry a little too eagerly (i.e. I knocked down a pumpkin juice goblet over a grumbling Jenna).
We sat down and ate. It was all so awkward. The usually noisy Great Hall was silent and plain. Then some Slytherin third year farted really loudly and we broke out in giggles. Ah well, Hogwarts is always the same.
Tuesday, September 2nd
11:23 AM
Joy of the world!! Double potions!! Talking to Di, by way of summoning and banishing a spare bit of parchment when Snape's not looking:
Hey, Di! How are you holding up?
Like crap! Do you know what spells can reverse the babbling broth?
No, and I can't be bothered to find out.
Common, Jules! It's O.W.L year. We'll soon be stripped of our sanity and be forced to write basilisk-long essays! We have to pass. I know my mum will freak if I get less than 10 O.W.L.s.
Wow, even you aren't that smart.
Thanks for that. Anyway, have you noticed anything weird about carrot head?
What? Ginny Weasley?
Yeah.
I looked over to her seat. She was spilling a potion the colour of her hair on her friend Miranda's robes. Neither of them seemed to have noticed, if their continuous animated chatting was any indication.
'No, she looks perfectly normal.' I wrote, 'Why?'
'No reason,' Was the detailed reply. I pressed her about it afterwards but she kept changing the subject.
In the end I got angry and performed a tricky charm Aggie taught me in secret that makes the victim's hair smell like doxy droppings. It wears off after a while. And Di still thinks it was this really dim Slytherin girl, Emily, who's got it in for us. Haha.
Saturday, September 6th
4:48 PM
Tralalaaa. Life is fab. Me, Di, and Mel found a leftover canary cream that Fred and George made last year in the common room. Well, Aggie joined in with her wits by making a charm so it could easily be disguised in food. Anyway, operation Turn Snobby Emily Into A Fully Vocal Canary Bird (TSEIAFVCB) began.
Jenna (who joined in at this point) slipped some onto Emily's plate at lunch today. Emily's friend Laura narrowed her eyes, but Jenna made up a brilliant excuse (What are you looking at?!) and sat back down at our table. We didn't Emily to eat it when she came back (she had gone to the bathroom), but she just looked at it and popped it into her moth before Laura could say anything! Then POP! Emily's smug pointy-nosed face was covered in yellow fur!
It was hilariously fun until Snape showed up. He took one look at Emily's bird face, listened to Laura's account of what happened (which is so fully not true!) and said, "Follow me," to all of us, even Beth, who happened to be passing (she was at the library and hadn't been a part of the TSEIAFVCB plan, so she was perfectly innocent) and we sulked behind him while he lead us through several corridors.
In the end, we were in Filch's office with Filch himself yelling at us about student respect. Then he got out a form and made a file on us (to treasure this precious moment forever) while muttering about 'sneaky behaviour' (I wonder if he meant us?).
I was just rolling my eyes at Di, as usual, when this really weird light caught my eye. I looked again and realized it was coming from a far corner of the room. I kept darting my head sideways to see if that light would sparkle again. Unfortunately, I got carried away and ended up knocking Mel on the head. She cried out, "Ow!" in that really loud voice of hers and Filch went berserk again.
Eventually I put up my hand (see how polite I am?). He bellowed, "WHAT?" I remained dignified and said in a perfectly neutral tone of voice, "Would you like some cheese with your whine? Or perhaps a Survival Silencer Snack (I actually did get one of those in Fred and George's new joke shop) ?"
Oh, pooh. I've got detention.
Friday, September 12th
10:17 PM
B-O-R-I-N-G week!! I served detention today. It was fabbity fabbity fab. Not. Filch made me clean out his bloody office. Honestly, there is some unnameable stuff in his drawers that smells like old potatoes.
On the bright side, I finally found out where the light came from. In this drawer, I found a beautiful necklace. It was gold and had a large mysterious-looking blue stone hanging off of it. A really intense blue, too. I felt like I could just swim in that colour forever. I reached out to touch it, but felt a really hard slap on my hand. Filch swooped down on me like....well, a swooper. "Don't touch that!" he said in this most threatening voice, which is more on the dusty grandfather than powerful dictator side, if you ask me. I continued polishing and re-arranging his crap until he let me out at half-past seven (HALF PAST SEVEN! I spent a whole TWO HOURS with that nutcase!) and I left as quickly as possible, though still thinking about that necklace.
Then, who should I bump into? Harry Potter himself. My bag crashes to the floor and I drop my wand, which starts splashing water like mad all over the place (Marvellous. Thank you, God). Harry bends down to get my bag and I try to stop my berserk wand from jumping up and down. Harry goes, "Hi. Er...crazy wand you've got there (at this point I swear my wand was actually hiccupping)." I held my head up in the air and said, "Er....yes. Thanks about picking up my bag." Honestly, telle-tubbies are lamer than me. He just smiled and said, "Ok....bye." Then he walked off, looking very.....sex godish.
Midnight
What is wrong with my bloody wand!?!
