Disclaimer: Ugh, do I have to (yes, I do): I do not own any crap J.K Rowling or Louise Rennison made up (I totally take that back. They are my two favourite authors in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
Author's Note: Loved the reviews, guys! Keep it up.
Chapter 3: Bouncing Bazombas and Friendly Carrot Heads
Thursday, September 18th
5:05 PM
I hate this school! Honestly, THREE essays for Monday, SIX written papers, and practicing of TWO complicated spells!! So what if it's O.W.L year and it will determine our future forevermore? Di is resting, ok? DI IS RESTING. Something is very wrong with this world.
6:15 PM
Went for a fresh-air walk to the great hall. Harry was there looking...depressed (and sex godish). I have decided to ask Ginny what happened last year. Like, with Sirius Black and everything. This will be somewhat challenging, since the last time I said anything to her was last year in herbology class, when I asked her to pass me that pot of yellow tip spike shrubs. However, I will not let that small insignificant fact get me down.
6:30 PM
Went up to Ginny. She turned bright red as I was about to say something and left quickly. I was puzzled, and when I turned to go, guess who I bumped into? The SG himself. He seemed to cheer up slightly. He smiled and said, "I seem to always bump into you." It was my turn go bright red and leave quickly.
When I got to the common room, Jenna took one look at me and said, "What's up with you?" like I had a huge spot on my nose or something. Which it turns out I did.
Tuesday, September 23rd'
4:06 PM
Di and I were brewing a potion Aggie taught us that is supposed to make your bazombas (breasts) grow larger. We were doing it in potions class (instead of the boring Sleep Draught Snape was teaching us).
Aggie said that depending on how big we wanted our breasts to grow, we had to add more or less oak sap. Apparently, one cup of the potion is enough for four people. So Di and I added just a bit of oak sap. I was saying that if we added too much we could simply knock out anyone who annoyed us, which got Di into a fit of giggles.
Unfortunately not quietly enough, since Snape came over to us and started doing his creey lecture: "Well, well, what do we have here? Miss Nicolson-Joyce, your potion seems to be a slightly, er, redder colour than the required milky white. May I ask why?" The gleam in his eyes looked truly inviting, so I said, "It is perfectly normal, professor. The colour must be a slight side effect." He smiled and said, "Alright then, let's see. Would you be willing to drink this potion for a test? I will, of course, rouse you after you...erm, fall asleep." I choked. I knew then and there, he had caught me. So, to kill his joy in torturing me, I poured the potion into a cup. I drank only a small portion, but Snape got me there too: "I believe a full cup is required for the potion to take effect." I thought, 'You believe wrong,' but I jugged the entire potion down my throat. It tasted like coconuty water.
For a moment I thought it hadn't worked. Then my bazombas started growing, and growing. My bra snapped apart painfully. Snape looked amazed and furious at the same time. Di was laughing her butt off, the boys were catcalling and I was speechless. At the near pint where my bazombas would have ripped my shirt, they stopped growing and just....hung there. Snape nearly had a heart attack when I turned to face him and quite literally, wiped him off his feet. He lay on the ground moaning. I said, "Hospital wing," grabbed my bag, and ran for it.
5:20 PM
Who should I bump into on my way to the hospital wing? Naturally, Harry Potter of course. His friends (Ginny's older brother and that know-it-all girl) were with him. Ginny's brother broke into fits of laughter while the girl elbowed him. Harry just raised his eyebrows. I pushed past them and ran, tripping on the stairs. My bazombas literally bounced me back up. Like air bags. Oh joy, I have become a human car.
7:52 PM
Resting in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey took one look at me and nearly dropped her mumblemups curing concoction. She tutted about "What we girls do nowadays with the gift of magic," while doing the reducto spell several times. She asked me when it looked....er, right. I stopped her a little early. Tehee.
8:02 PM
No-one has visited me! Di probably told the others and they're all laughing their arses off by now.
10:38 PM
Madam Pomfrey let me go (after about 74.6 lectures)! I rushed to the common room, vaguely aware that all eyes were on me (oh, great. If Di or Jenna blabbed to anyone I'll kill 'em).
10:51 PM
Jenna blabbed. I killed her (well, gave her a strong kick and sauntered off). Di was still in hysterics and wouldn't stop staring at them until I called her a lezzie. That pissed her off and we didn't speak to each other for ages (until we went to bed).
Monday, September 29th
11:17 AM
Another week. Ugh. But on the bright side, I found out what happened to Harry last year. I talked to Ginny last night. At first it was really awkward because I approached her when her friends were off somewhere so she was all alone and I invited her to a game of wizard chess. I'm quite good actually, but I lost due to the fact that she has Weasley blood in her (or so I keep telling myself).
On our next match, I asked her, and she told me everything, form when Sirius was wrongfully accused to when he died right before Harry's eyes. I swear I was in tears by the end of it (or maybe it had to do with the fact that Ginny's queen had just squashed my thumb as opposed to my tower).
Now I really understand Harry. It wasn't easy for him. Duh, of course not. He probably still blames himself for Cedric's death, let alone his own godfather's death. Suddenly, everything felt dark and cold inside me (then again, the window was open, and the wind has blown the fire out, so it could have had something to do with that).
Ginny won both games. We parted quite pleasantly, and the coldness inside me left being replaced by a fuzzy, warm feeling. God, I hate emotional people.
Sunday, October 5th
2:32 PM
It was really weird and awkward at lunch today. First, Me, Di, and Jenna were together talking about Sex Gods and their uses (haha) when three people sat down next to us. Who else could it have been but Ginny and her friends Miranda and Vicky? We stopped talking and stared at each other awkwardly. Apparently Ginny had taken our heart-to-heart conversation....er, to heart.
She said, "Hi," really regularly, like we hadn't not sat together since the first year. I just finished eating my roast chicken and started saying some crap about what the O.W.L.s would be like. It was fine (cough, cough) up until Vicky mentioned boyfriends. Then Miranda started elbowing Ginny suggestively and saying things like, "So...how's Harry?" and "I heard you told him some lie about how you were over him, huh?" It was truly terrifying as she kept on going on and on and Ginny was back to being No. 1 carrot head and face. I was No. 2 (face only). My mates were looking at Ginny and me (I told them about the whole Harry being a sex god thing, or, as Jenna put it, they would have gotten the information out of me anyway by torturing me with sharp quill tips. All I can say to that is, whatever.).
Anyway, five years later Jenna snapped and told Miranda none too politely to shut up. Miranda looked offended and gathered her books and left. Vicky went right after her and Ginny left too, after I explained to her that Jenna just broke up with some bloke and is having severe emotional problems (at this point Di was doing me a favour by kicking Jenna's legs every time she opened her mouth in protest. Honestly, there are waaaaaaaaay too many Drama Queens in the world.
