Title: First Christmas – Kate and Gibbs' POV
Author: Jay-Jay, Shorty, and Jenn
Rating: PG
Pairing: Gibbs/Kate
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters; they are all property of DPB.
Summary: After a long case that keeps the team at work for six days, Gibbs and Kate spend their first Christmas together.
I wake up to the sudden feeling of cold and loneliness. I slowly open my eyes and role over only to realize that Gibbs is gone. I knew he wouldn't stay with me after what happened. I decide that maybe I should leave his house before he kicks me out. I get up and wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling really cold even though it's a good 70 degrees in the house. I make my way down the hallway to check and see if he's asleep in one of the guestrooms, after checking them both with no sign of him. I come to the conclusion that he must be on the couch, but after checking there I come up empty. There is only one other place that he could be and that's in the basement. I hope he's falling asleep under the boat, just so that I don't have to see him awake. I'm scared that he'll try to stop me and that he'll try to get me to talk.
I walk down the steps and see him standing there sanding the boat. I want to turn around and go back upstairs and leave, but I just can't. He must know I'm down there because he stops sanding and walks over to the table, putting the sander down and taking a sip of his coffee.
"You should be in bed babe." He says as he sits the mug down and turns to face me.
"I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep." I reply. It's a lie, but he doesn't know that.
"You're lying" Or maybe he does. How can he tell? I've often wondered if he was psychic, I guess so. "I can tell because you've got that look in your eye."
"What look?"
"That one that says that you want to talk to me, but don't know how." He says as he sits down on the nearest stool.
I still haven't figured out how he knows this, but I guess that's one of the perks to being Gibbs.
"Oh." I reply as I suddenly find the floor very interesting.
"Come here Katie." He says as he motions for me with his hands.
I start walking towards him and curse my feet for being so mean. "If you want me to leave just say so."
"Katie, why the hell would I want you to leave?" He asks as he hooks his index finger under my chin and gently tilts my head up so that we're eye to eye. "What's going on babe?"
Gibbs' POV
I use my index finger to bring her eye to eye with me. I can see the tears brimming in her eyes and my heart breaks. She looks so helpless and lost, and I can't help but wonder if maybe it's my fault. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed her to be here after all this happened. Maybe I should've told her that I loved her more. She suddenly starts to cry and I just pull her into my arms and hold her tight.
I am beginning to realize that this will not go away with her staying here with me, or with me continually telling her how much I love her. It is going to take all of us to get Kate back to the person she was before all this happened. Oh why did we take that case? Why did this have to happen to my Katie? I don't like that she is in pain but there is nothing I can do about it but hold her and show her how much she means to me, and no matter what that asshole did to her, she will always remain my Katie, my love, my life. Nothing can ever change that.
I gently stand up and kiss her forehead. "Let's go upstairs and get some sleep. We've got a long day tomorrow."
"Maybe I should just stay here. I'm not going to be much fun." She says as she wipes her eyes and sniffles. "I don't think you want to introduce me to your family when I'm like this."
"How about we wait and see how you are in the morning okay?" I say as I run my fingers through her hair.
"Okay." She says as she sniffles some more and stares at the ground.
"I love you, Katie; nothing is ever going to change that. Nothing." I say as she just stands there, tears flowing down her face.
"You're lying." She says as she walks away, keeping her head down. "How could you still love me? How could you? I'm horrible, I'm not worthy of you? You deserve someone strong and beautiful. I'm neither." She replies as she starts crying even harder. "I'm going to leave. Don't worry, I'll just call a cab or walk. I'm… I'm sorry Gibbs. I wanted this so bad, but I don't see how you can still care after this. I'm sorry. I… I really love you." She starts up the stairs and I run after her.
"Katie, what the hell are you talking about? I love you more than anything in this world. You're not horrible Kate, you're perfect." I say as I pull her into my arms and give her a sweet kiss. "I love you. You are strong and you are beautiful, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. What happened to you was horrible, but you're not there any more Kate. You're here, you're safe baby, I promise. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. Please believe me Katie, please." I'm practically begging her now, but I don't care. She looks up at me and just stares. Her eyes full of pain, hate, love, and confusion. The exact things I was afraid of seeing. "Katie please don't go. I can't lose you, not now, not ever. Just please believe me."
She looks back down for a second and slowly wraps her arms around my waist. She rests her head against my chest and just stands there and cries. After about twenty minutes of standing this way her cries turn into little sobs and hiccups.
"How about we go get some sleep sweetheart?" I ask as I look down at her.
"Okay." She says as she shakes her head.
I lead her upstairs and help her under the covers before climbing in next to her.
"I love you Kate. I know I seem to keep saying there but I don't know what else to tell you." I say as she curls up next to me and lays her head on my chest.
"I love you too Gibbs." She whispers. "Just… just be here for me okay? Just don't leave, that's all I want you to do."
"I can do that." I say as I kiss her head. "I love you. I'm never going to leave you okay, I promise. You're too important to me." I place another kiss on her forehead. "Just close your eyes and get some sleep okay? We'll see how you feel in the morning as to whether or not you want to come with me, okay?"
"Okay." She snuggles up to me even more and places a kiss on my chest.
"Goodnight babe."
"Night."
