Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: see previous chapter.

Thank you to Merlin and GoldenSunnyGrl for being such great BETA'S.

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CHAPTER FIVE

When you love something so much and you think it's gone, how do you live? How do you get up, each day, and live? I didn't know the answer to that question.

Obviously.

I was killing myself and doing a better job of it than Scalyarse could ever do.

And then my friends came along. My horrible, pushy, bitchy, wonderful friends. And they saved me from myself.

They brought my Love to me. They tried to stop my hurt.I just pray they were not too late.

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I touched a tear that fell from his beautiful eyes and it burned through my skin all the way to my soul, healing as it went.

"Oh God!" I breathed shakily in awe. "D-Draco?"

The hope that flared in my mind and body made me cry out and I welcomed the blackness that consumed me. For the first time ever I fell into it willingly because I had hope now that when I woke, I wouldn't be alone.

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Groaning against the pain in my head I wanted nothing more than to sink back into the blackness that I had been residing in when my mind and body finally registered the warmth pressed against my side. A warmth that at once filled me with pain and pleasure. Pain because I had only an unseen hope that it was who I wanted it to be and pleasure because I knew it was who I wanted it to be.

I tried to move but the other body had an arm that was holding me down, not harshly, but with a care that I could sense even in my sleep befuddled mind. I reached a shaky hand up and traced the arm that was across my chest from its bony elbow down to its graceful fingers. I twined my own dark tanned fingers in with the pale ones and drew that hand up to my mouth where I pressed a gentle kiss to the inside of its wrist.

It was who I thought it to be. No one else that I had ever met had that pale of skin. It was like a bar of milk chocolate that I had seen my Aunt Petunia eat one time. I wondered if it would melt in my mouth like that chocolate had when she had dropped a piece on the floor and not known it, I had quickly picked it up and hid it in my hand until I could get to my room to eat it. It had almost melted but it was still the best thing I had eaten in my eight short years.

I let my tongue trace the folds of that pale wrist, too tired to do anything else. After a few minutes of this, the blackness beckoned again and with a small smile on my lips I fell into it, safe in the knowledge that my Love would be there when I awoke.

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I woke to whispering once again. And to a side that was cold and empty. Panic rose in me as I realized that my Love was gone. Had it all been a dream? Please, what ever God or Gods were out there, let it NOT have been a dream.

With a loud whimper I let my friends know I was awake. They gathered around me with concerned looks on their faces but not one of them spoke. I searched each face and tears threatened when the one I was searching for was missing.

"Sh..." Hermione finally said softly as the fear and loss flooded my face. "He's in the bathroom. We made him take a shower."

Tears fell from my eyes and I looked to her gratefully. Ron chuckled beside him. "Made him...we had to threaten him with a soapicilius charm."

Seamus grinned, "right ripe he was getting."

Ginny slapped him on the back of the head but she also was grinning. Neville was shaking his head at all of their antics and Dean was just as quiet as usual. To my surprise Crabbe and Goyle were standing, silently watching, behind Dean. I let my eyes linger on them for a second and when they both nodded, I knew they were telling me that they accepted Draco's choice. Of course, I had known that they already knew that Draco loved me but it came as no small surprise to me that they were accepting enough to show themselves to the others. Maybe I had underestimated the two hulking Slytherins.

My friends were all there. They hadn't left me. Draco hadn't left me.

"Of course, we used the charm on you," Hermione said in her same matter of fact voice she used with everything.

"Now, you was ripe." Seamus said as he dipped out of the way of Ginny's swinging hand.

I felt my face stretch uncomfortably and I knew I was attempting a grin. It must have been a horrible looking grin because each of them blanched before bravely returning it. I noticed that Goyle was looking strangely at me but could not interpret the look so I just shrugged it off.

"Thank you." Was what I had attempted to say but it came out more as a hoarse croak than anything resembling words. Ron silently handed me a glass of water but then had to help me drink it when I was too weak to hold the glass to my lips by myself.

After I was done drinking I moved to sit up and could not stop the groan that fell from my chapped lips. Every muscle in my body hurt, hell, even my bones hurt. Hermione and Ron both helped me into a sitting position and I took minutes to recover my breathing afterwards. Damn, I was so weak!

"I had Dobby warm you up some broth, the charms to keep you hydrated only work if you are unconscious." Hermione said as she fussed around me, fluffing pillows and fixing my blanket. "I know you won't drink much but, please, drink as much as you can."

"Can we get you anything?" Dean asked quietly as he watched from the foot of my bed. I sent him a grateful look and was just about to shake my head no when a sound to my left drew my attention and everyone else in the room didn't matter anymore. I whimpered in relief as I saw him.

My Love was standing at the door to the bathrooms. He was so beautiful. Hair wet and scraggly around his pale face, dressed in an old pair of my too-big pajamas, and a startled look on his face. Oh, yes, he was most beautiful. Hermione and Ron stepped back as I struggled to get out of the bed.

With a cry, Draco walked quickly to my bedside and placed a hand on my chest. I stilled instantly.

"I'm sorry, so sorry." I whispered as we stared intently at each other.

Without another word he crawled into bed beside me and drew me tightly into his arms, he settled his head against my chest as silent sobs racked both our bodies. Fresh tears fell from my eyes to join his own that were falling to my chest.

Saying quiet goodbyes and another entreaty to drink the broth, my friends and his left.

Sobs and hiccups were the only sound left in the room after they left. I knew we needed to talk but right now, we needed this closeness more. Talking we could do while I healed. He would be with me because I was never letting him out of my sight again. After hours of tears sleep came over us and as we held each other my fear of living faded and for the first time in months, I looked forward to the dawn.

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When I next woke up, I felt better than I had in a very long time. The first thing that I noticed was that I was alone again. The second thing I noticed was the humming coming from my right. Opening my eyes, I was treated to a beautiful sight.

Draco was sitting in the windowsill, singing. Well, humming actually. I did not recognize the tune but that didn't matter. His low voice flowed over me, sending my heart to pounding. His now dry hair was laying perfectly as he had stopped gelling it years ago. He was still in my pajamas and he was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, staring out the window. One finger was drawing words and pictures in the spot that his breath was leaving on the window. After a few minutes the song he was humming started to repeat itself and I was mesmerized by the beauty I was witnessing.

I knew I looked like hell. And I also knew that Draco had not been looking his usual perfect self for the last couple of weeks. But now, he had once again the desire to take care of himself and he was looking very fine indeed. Even in my too-big pajamas. He would purse his beautiful lips and blow his hot breath against the glass pane and before it would vanish he would write something. He would cock that beautiful head and stare at what he had written until it vanished and then he would repeat the process all over again. Did I mention he was beautiful?

As I lay in my bed I knew that these times, in this room, were all that mattered. Once they stepped outside of those doors, the world would never leave them in peace. Growing up he'd had to deal with his uncaring relatives, fighting with them for every little thing he had, and that made him tenaciously hang on to anything that he thought was his. The wizard world had better not mess with Draco. They would have a very angry Boy Who Lived to deal with if they did.

Of course, that is if I survived. Not Scalyarse though, I had no doubt that I would beat him. I have to survive my own stupidity first.

I must have made a sound because Draco sharply turned his head to see me staring at him. I could feel my face grow hot as Draco's silver gaze drilled into me. I had forgotten what those eyes did to me.

He didn't say a word as he stood up and walked slowly towards me. I knew we needed to talk. There were some things I needed to tell him. A lot of things actually but there was one important thing that he needed to know above all others.

"I love you." I whispered as I let my hungry gaze devour his face.

He faltered and then continued to advance upon me. I grew scared as I noticed he didn't return my sentiment. What the hell?

He walked to stand at the foot of my bed where he stood for a few minutes, watching me. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but stopped when he threw me a look that clearly said 'if I spoke I would be hexed'. He must have seen whatever it was that he was looking for because after giving me that look he slowly crawled up my legs until he was laying flush on my weak body. I didn't want him to move but he was heavy and my breathing was beginning to be affected by his weight upon my chest. Just when it was becoming unbearable, he shifted to the side and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"I love you, too."

I could feel my chest swell at the emotions running through it. This was something that I thought would only happen in my dreams. Yes, we still had a lot to talk about and some majors decisions to make. But none of that matter, right here, right now, his arms around me and his words still lingering in the air. That is what mattered.

We held each other all night long, whispering our fears and dreams into each others receptive ears. We cried, we talked, we yelled, and we laughed, but, most importantly, we loved.

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I don't know how they did it. But they hid me for weeks before the questions they had to face became unanswerable. At least no one suspected us of being together, he still went to classes every now and then, just enough to allay suspicion. Draco was fully recovered but I was still so weak I couldn't even make it to the bathroom without assistance.

I was angry and said things I never should have and we argued. He left and I broke down in the middle of what had become our room, shaking and crying his name.

I shouldn't have said what I did. I know it but it just came out in the heat of our argument and I could not take it back now. Besides, I was right. Even if I shouldn't have said it. Could I help it if I was jealous?

You see, he was still suppose to marry her. What was I suppose to say, or think, or feel about that?

The green monster grabbed my tongue and started wagging it and before I knew it the words were out of my mouth. I could tell he was trying to stay calm but was rapidly losing his control. I knew that he was right, she was a perfect smoke screen but just the thought of her touching him made me want to hurl. It was his statement of 'You! You don't have too-' that made my blood freeze and absolute fear overcome me.

I was so afraid. Absolutely terrified that he was sleeping with her and when I asked he assured me that he wasn't. It was so hard to believe him. But, he had been with me for weeks, unless he was in class, and I knew he wasn't, I just knew it, didn't I? We both started crying. We had cried so much over the last few days that I was surprised either of us had any tears left.

Every time he left I feared that he wouldn't come back. I asked him to see it from my point of view. He said he would try. I knew what we were doing was dangerous and all I wanted to do was keep him safe and with me but the mere thought of him even being within one foot of her made me want to hurt her. Badly.

Draco watched me for a few minutes before he nodded once and turned to leave. I couldn't help my jealousy. She still had what was mine. I begged him to not let her touch him. I couldn't stand the fact that she could touch him when I could barely raise my own arm without help. I hated it. And it hurt me when he didn't readily agree.

"You're mine, Draco Malfoy. She touches you and I will hurt her." I said softly right before he walked out the door.

He turned and smiled gently at me, "I love you, Harry Potter." He said before he walked out the door to class.

I shouldn't have said it but I was hurt that he left me, though I knew he had too. Both of us being absent would cause too many questions. They had Care of Magical Creatures today and I slowly made my way to the window to watch the class. What I saw brought back all of the feelings that had brought me down before.

She was hanging all over my Love. And he was doing nothing to stop her.

I watched the entire class as she fawned all over him and it was only as the class disbursed that I came out of my daze. He was mine. She couldn't have him.

But she did, she had him. More than I did.

The despair that rose in my chest was stronger than anything I had ever felt before. I let it fester until I could take no more and with a harsh cry started to pound on the window in front of me. My hits made the glass shake in its frame but it obviously had an unbreakable charm on it because that is all that it did.

I heard the door crash open behind me but did not stop pounding the glass before me. I only registered the screaming as my own when hands pulled me gently away from the window and laid me on the floor. I moaned and curled in a little ball, too overcome with my hurt once again to understand what was going on. I could hear his voice calling to me but I dove for the blackness, wanting it to desperately take my pain away.

With one last harsh cry I sank into the blackness with a wish to never surface again.

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One more chapter to go. Not sure how this is going to end actually.

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LMG