Disclaimer: I do not presume to have any rights to the characters of BTvS and this story is in no manner affliated or endorsed by the show's owners.
Also, this is the first work of fiction I have created in many a day so please respond with constructive critiques suggesting whether I should continue past the first chapter or instead abandon my notions of what passes for humor.
Chapter One
The sunlight slowly creeped in through the window as Buffy Summers peacefully sleeped, the saliva dripping from her mouth creating a slightly damp pillow. When the light finally rested upon her face, Buffy opened one eye and reminded herself that she was now only one of many chosen, special but no longer unique.
But what exactly was it that she was chosen for? After her elite gang had foiled the nefarious scheme of yet another villian to destroy the world, after she had once again preserved mankind's hopes for mom's apple pie and baseball, it seemed that there was little left for her to do.
Buffy decided that after seven years of combat, the other freshly minted slayers could do as she had done for what had seemed an eternity; no longer would life and limb be risked for no compensation-no income check, no medical insurance to get her nose fixed. Buffy Summers was quite weary of the tireless sacrifices that defined a noble hero. Today would be the day that she would seek a normal life.
As Buffy mulled over the thought, she wondered what her friends would think of the sudden transition. Now living in a modest Cleveland apartment, she picked up the phone and called her old mentor who had moved to Bristol following the victory of the preceding month.
"Giles, I'm running out of cash, what with the overpriced rent and the cost of Dawn's anger management therapy. I'm thinking about getting a full-time job, you know."
"Buffy, we've been over this a thousand times before. You have a sacred birthright to protect the innocent from the forces of darkness and all that other good stuff. You're the best at what you do, after all no one else knows how to baffle and disgust demons with lame puns quite like you. Do you really want to give all that up?"
Hardly surprised by his response, Buffy was ready with an answer."Remember Giles when your job was basically a girl watcher? Well you got paid for it."
Buffy decided to press her advantage and teasingly prodded him further, "Also, at the same time you got paid for being a libarian. All you had to do was make love to your precious books and you even got money for it. Oh, don't you dare deny it. . . you enjoyed being a book hooker!"
Giles disregarded Buffy's bluntness and calmly replied, " So basically you want to let the world end just so you can have a bank account. Believe me, they are heavily overrated, all I had to do was give Anya my funds and just like with a bank, they magically disappeared."
"You don't seem to understand what it means to be like crazy poor. All that time I was doing all the real work and basically making you look good but what did I get outta the deal, huh? Not a fricking dime, man; no instead I end up dying like every other year! All of this and did I ever once complain?"
Not having the heart to answer her last question truthfully, Gilles instead resigned himself to accepting that Buffy wished to abandon her duties and enjoy her hard earned retirement. He sighed, "Do as you will, but I was so looking forward to having a teacher to mold and shape these new slayers into fierce warriors such as yourself."
"Just out of curoisity did you intend to pay me for my services, Buffy asked?" Not letting on that he was being completely serious, Giles answered, "Buffy you know the drill. You're my willing slave who is perfectly content to do exactly as I tell you without any regard for such trivial matter such as finances."
"That's what I thought," Buffy said to herself as she hung up the phone and walked down the street to the temp agency hoping that her old friend Andrew who worked there could hook her up with a decent job, one that actually paid.
