MAJOR WARNING!

This chapter contains depictions of sexual violence.

Oishi was never sure of exactly where the sheer force of will that allowed him to meet Eiji's stare came from.

As he wrestled his gaze up from Eiji's black uniform shoes, Oishi felt something in his chest throbbing, but throbbing in a good way, an excited way. It was his courage, he realized, slowly reviving itself; something Oishi had thought curled up in his chest and died months ago, back when all their problems started, back on that night that they didn't talk about, that he couldn't bring himself to talk about.

Green eyes lingered for a moment of a volition that, for a change, was Oishi's own on slightly chapped pink lips. They were dry looking, but parted gently so that Oishi could see past them to that place where it was shadowy and mysterious.

"O-oishi?"

His eyes quickly shot up and met bright pools of troubled blue. Eiji's eyes were scanning back and fourth so quickly across the other boy's face, desperate to take in every nuance of expression, and Oishi thought for just one moment that they looked like cornflowers shaking in a stiff breeze. Finding nothing in Oishi's expression to cling to, Eiji let out a shuddering breath and wet his lips, feeling his skin grow tight under that green stare.

Oishi's mouth fell open as the words he had meant to say refused to exit his mouth, trapped behind his parted lips, breath frozen.

The long moment of quiet hung between them, a powerful presence, until Eiji, standing the weight of the silence no longer, turned his face away and squeezed his eyes shut, forcing his treacherous thoughts out between his eyes, where his brows knitted together.

The air felt heavy as it rushed into Oishi's lungs as he prepared to break the oppressive stillness, until Eiji turned to face him and walked right up to him. Everything stopped. Eiji's stare was steady and icy, piercing into Oishi, daring him to look away.

Oishi couldn't breathe.

"What were you doing with my girlfriend?"

Oishi's chin bobbed up and down a few times as if he were trying to swallow something he simply could not get his mouth around, then managed to stammer out a nearly inaudible, "what?"

Eiji's eyes wouldn't let his go as he reiterated in broken down clipped sentence parts, "what. were you doing. with my girlfriend?"

Of all the possible ways Oishi had imagined this conversation starting, this was not one of them. Oishi felt helpless as something important that he couldn't name slipped away. He blinked at Eiji who looked like, well, a jealous boyfriend, and Oishi thought for one half manic moment that it would have been funny had it been anyone else.

Oishi's eyes narrowed as he considered Eiji for the space of moments before he spoke, "Talking," the word came out surprisingly cold in the warm autumn air. "Just talking," he continued, "but I don't think that's the point here…"

"No, that is the point. She's my girlfriend," the red-head spat, his face twisting upon itself in an expression that looked like anger, but was deeper and complex in a way that Oishi was afraid to acknowledge.

Because he was only beginning to realize that Eiji scared him in ways that he couldn't handle yet.

In a bare instant, pinned by Eiji's stare, Oishi felt that pulse throb of adrenaline inside his stomach twist into something ugly that leapt out of his throat.

"She shouldn't be, Eiji. You're a homo."

Oishi didn't even see the punch coming until it cracked against his jaw. He was too busy staring at those dangerously expressive eyes that shifted from hurt to anger so quickly that Oishi was sure he had imagined the first expression.

He couldn't feel the ground as it rose to meet him, there was only the starburst of pain in his jaw and the ringing in his ear, second to an emotion so intense that for a long moment he was positive that he would puke.

As the ringing cleared Oishi heard Eiji's quickly retreating footfalls as he ran away. He dug his fingers through the grass and into the surprisingly cold soil, physically holding himself back from lunging at Eiji. He hit the ground beneath him with both hands, but the feelings wouldn't dissipate.

Behind the small sports equipment storage Oishi pulled his knees to his chest and sat for a long time.

Oishi stepped into the club room, wondering for a moment why no one was around when practice just finished before those thoughts flew away. He threw off his regular's jacket, which landed somewhere on the floor, and pulled his white practice tee-shirt up over his head, tossing it roughly from one hand to another as he walked over to his bag.

He tossed the wrinkled bit of fabric into his duffle and walked down to the very end of the locker rows. A brief moment of confusion floated through his mind before he managed to reassure himself that this was fine, he needed to walk all the way to the end of the lockers.

It didn't surprise him that he failed to see Eiji until he was nearly on top of him, but the red-head's sudden lunge did.

Oishi was only half aware of the wrists tightly in his grip and Eiji's sting of irrational babble—stayawayfromherstayawayfrommeihateyouihateyouihateyou—he could only feel the inflowing tide of twisted, black emotion.

Oishi felt lips on his own, and it felt like a memory.

He pushed and Eiji flew backwards; far too easy like he weighed less then a thought, and his head snapped back and hit the side of the locker with a sickeningly loud clunk that echoed obscenely off the cement walls of the empty room.

But Oishi wasn't paying any attention to the noise; he could only see pink lips parted in surprise and pain, and in the too dim light of the empty room they glowed.

He didn't feel himself move forward, he was just suddenly there right against Eiji with a vague thought of 'I always wondered if he would…' that trailed off into nothing as he grabbed Eiji's face and pulled it to his suddenly bare groin and watched as his erection disappeared into the other boy's mouth.

The touch was ephemeral; it wasn't near enough and he began to snap his hips forward with Eiji's head wedged between the wall and his thrusts. Eiji's tears nearly undid him and he felt pleasure grow to a keening sweetness.

He couldn't be sure at what point Eiji's mouth and head dissipated into nothing, but there was a moment when he became aware of the sheets around him, the pillow beneath his head.

He didn't turn on the light in the bathroom relying on the dim light from the living room window and familiarity to guide him as he fell to his knees and emptied what little of his picked-at supper he'd managed to swallow into the toilet. He continued to heave long after his stomach was empty, until his abs cramped so badly that his eyes started to stream water.

When the gagging stopped he wrapped his arms around the freezing bowl and sobbed against the toilet seat.