A/N: OMG! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I love you guys for ever if you still read this:) I forgot what was in the episodes after chapter 4's happenings. Thank the gods for reruns. :D

All of that day, I was caught in a daze. Sawyer sat with me, as I stared out from the seat he'd given me as a bed, at the ocean. His voice floated through my thoughts, telling me that 'It would be okay.', that 'The search party was going to find them.' My mind however, was barley registering anything.

As I sat, I thought, I've lost 2 parents, been stranded on an uncharted desert island with a maniac freak who kidnapped my uncle and friend. I've found a boyfriend who cares so much that he's sitting right next to me, not caring that I won't, no - can't speak. Everything's falling apart. Instantly my mind was in a state of depression. With the rate this is going at... I'll be the only one left on this island. I'll be blamed for all the deaths. What the hell did I do, to make the gods so angry that they take everything I love away? Am I being punished for something I did in a past life?

"Sawyer... I'm too dangerous to be around." I said to him, slowly coming out of my stupor.

"What? Chrys you're anything but dangerous... unless you're pissed off."

"Everything that I love is being taken. The next thing to leave is going to be you... I can't stand that."

"I told you before. Never doubt that I will always be around. So long as I care for you, I'm not going to leave."

"But-"

"No more of this crap, Chrys. You're not dangerous. What you're feeling is natural, yes. But, I'm not letting you push me away." He laughed. "I'm startin' to sound like you now... and you're startin' to sound like me... What a paradox this is."

I smiled for the first time that day.

"There's my girl. I knew she'd get out of that shell somehow."

I smiled even more at that. "Thanks, Lion."

He smiled and nodded his head, before Boone and Shannon interrupted our time together. Sawyer was about to get up, but I put my hand on his arm and he stopped and sat down again.

"Chrys we think you should come back to the caves."

I rolled my eyes. "I told Jack this morning. I feel safer here. I like it right where I am, thanks though."

"But, we've- they've- formed a search party and they're heading out... don't you want to be there, if they find anything out?" Shannon said.

"I might be there getting water when news comes. But, I'm not living there, where everyone gives me looks of pity each time I pass. I can't be there. It's too much."

Shannon nodded in understanding, but Boone persisted.

"But what if they come back? What if they come back, and they want to see you and you're not there? How would that make your uncle feel?"

My eyes widened and everyone knew that Boone had went to far.

"You need to leave. NOW." Sawyer said, in an extremely scary and menacing voice.

"That was low, Boone." Shannon said, hitting him as they walked away.

Sawyer put his arm around me, as he had most of the day. I leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm all right, Sawyer. Really. What he said just caught me off guard."

"He shouldn't be sayin' that kinda shit anyway... especially so soon after..."

I yawned. Sawyer laughed. "You look cute when you do that, you know."

"What? Yawn?" I asked.

"Yeah, your nose scrunches up and..."

"Are you patronizing me, Lion?"

"Maybe a little, mouse."

I yawned again. "Well stop." I said with a grin.

"You gonna make me?" He replied, all cockily.

I nodded and got up. I sat down in his lap and kissed him. He grabbed my hips with one hand, and the back of my head with the other. As I pulled back, I smiled. "How's that for makin' you stop?"

He growled and gently pushed me off his lap, and onto the beach below. As I got up, he rose from his bed. "Mouse, you've just started something I know you didn't want to." He said, in a low voice.

"Oh really? What, may I ask, did I start?"

"This." And with that he tackled me, out into an open spot on the beach. We wrestled and I giggled until he pinned me underneath him. "Admit you lose." He ordered. "Admit that I won." He said with a grin.

"All right already, you big oaf. You win. I lose. Happy?"

"Very, because the winner gets to choose their prize. I choose-"

"Nothing too much, Lion."

"Is everything all right here?" Michael said, interrupting the moment.

I looked up from my spot underneath Sawyer. There were people staring and Boone looked ready to kill. I also saw Shannon laughing and pointing, while Hurley shook his head.

I groaned, and dropped my head back to the beach beneath it. "Everything's fine. Just a friendly wrestling match. He's not hurting me." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Are you sure?" Michael asked.

"I'm fine. See? Smiling and breathing and laughing... All good signs." I said.

"All right." He said as he left.

"Now about that prize." Sawyer said, once again, suggestively.

"With everyone watching, Lion? Voyeurism isn't really my thing, but-"

He covered my mouth with his hand, as he shuddered. "Don't ever think like that, mouse."

I grinned as he removed his hand. "What can I say? You're a bad influence on me. But that's okay... I like being able to speak my mind." He got off of me, and offered a hand to help me up. "You seem to be doing that a lot." I said as I took it.

"I know. I'm a gentleman."

"Yeah, and I'm Queen Victoria." I said, giggling. He smacked me on the bum, once again. "Oi! Lion! Everyone is watching." I said.

He grinned, "I know. Now about my prize. Come with me." He said, as he grabbed my hand. He pulled me along a path marked in yellow pieces of cloth, right to the tree he'd mauled me at a few days ago.

"You marked a path to the mauling tree?" I asked as I giggled.

"Yep, only you and I know about it. Now, I'm claiming that prize I won." He said. He pushed me, once again into the tree and held me there with his body as his hands explored. First his hands ran their way up my arms, then back down. He grabbed my hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. He broke the kiss, only for a moment. My hands found his hair too soft to resist running through it.

"Lion." I said, catching my breath.

He put his mouth back over mine in response. His hands ran down my sides until they reached the one spot I knew they'd stop at, my bum. We heard someone walking and Sawyer pushed he and I down on the ground.

We looked to see Boone and Locke, as they started the search for my Uncle and Claire. I nodded, realizing that if someone were to find them, I was sure that Locke could. Boone was just an accessory, a trainee, in my mind. Sawyer stood up and brought me with him.

We walked back to the beach, and I sat on my given bed. I shuffled through my things, to find my dirty, nasty clothes. "I'm going to go and wash some clothes. You got anything you need washed?" I asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer answered, as he handed me a few things. "Here, I'm going to give you this," he said, as he handed me an empty duffel bag. I nodded and stuffed the dirty things in there. I found a baggy in someone else's baggage, from the crash. I filled it with soap from another person's bag, and had stored it in my bag, planning on doing some laundry. "I might not be here when you get back. I've got to head up to the caves and get some antibiotics."

I nodded, then grabbed my bag. "Okay. I'm going to go and wash some laundry out, maybe even take a bath at the pond." We both walked for a bit and were joined by Walt on the way.

"So you guys, are together now, huh?" Walt asked.

I blanched. Sawyer smirked a bit, as was per usual. "Yeah, kid we are." He answered. I smiled and took off on the somewhat worn path to Pond SawyerChrys.

I expected to see a few of the girls, maybe even Hurley, but there was no one there. Nothing but me, the laundry, and the water. I washed the clothes given to me, and put them over a few bushes to dry, because nothing smelled worse than B.O. and sour smelling clothes. I sat down on the ground and wrote a bit.

Uncle Charlie is gone. I've got nothing but Sawyer. He won't let me wallow. I was surprised he let me be alone, while I washed clothes. I hope Uncle Charlie comes back, because if he doesn't... well let's just say that it'll be the end of the Pace family. I don't know why I haven't cried more. Is it because I can't or because I won't?

Crying never becomes anyone, and yet everyone does it at least one time in life. I can't even cry when I'm alone, now. I wonder if Sawyer ever cries when he's here. I've never seen him, but in his sleep, he seems to have.

Crying isn't fun
But it's necessary to live
Crying's not a way to run
But a way to cope with what's been given.

Crying doesn't mean weakness
It shows that you care
Crying never solves bleakness
It's just the way to share
Crying isn't just depression
It's that joy, that hurt, that you feel deep inside
Crying is your body's mission
To show you that you can't hide from your feelings.

I looked up from my notebook to see Hurley coming to bathe. I went over to the clothes and started to turn them over. They were nearly dry, but still needed time.

"Hi, Hurley."

"Hey dudett. How are you?"

"Better than I should be. I can't cry the way I need to."

"You wanna be alone?"

"No, I'm fine with company. Besides, this is a public area."

" 'Kay, if you're sure." He said as he got into the water.

"I am. You know, you're the first person, not to look at me, with pity. Aside from Sawyer, that is."

"Yeah. Hey, what is it with you two? You seem to be getting pretty close."

"Sawyer and I?" I asked. He nodded. "He and I are a match. We can keep each other in line, or the other's head above water, when we feel like we're drowning. We get each other even though there's about an eight year difference between us, chronologically."

"Back up, and put it in lamens terms. I'm smart, but that went a little over my head."

"We feel like equals even though he's 25 and I'm almost 18. He sees me as though I were older." I explained.

Hurley nodded. "Okay, I get it." He smiled, and continued on bathing. I stood up and checked on the clothes which were dry. I folded them, and replaced them in the soap.

"I'll see you later Hurley. I've got to take these back to the tent."

I walked back to the beach and Sawyer wasn't there. I sat all of his clothes on his bed, and put mine back in my bag. I lay down for a bit and took out one of the novels Sawyer and I had one and read for a bit. Sawyer came back a bit later, and lay down on his bed, once he put his clothes in the bags I hadn't dared to touch. "How was the laundry doin'?"

I smiled and marked my page in the book. "It was quiet. Until Hurley came to talk to me."

He nodded. "He give you any trouble?"

I shook my head. "He was one of the only people not to look at me with pity."

"I got tired of that too." He said and dropped the subject as he closed his eyes. As he fell asleep I couldn't help but notice how peaceful he looked, when he wasn't having a nightmare.

I watched him sleep for a bit, resigning myself to the quiet of the ocean, the murmurs of the voices on the beach, and a book. A bit later, it started to rain, heavily. I put my book down and went out of the tent. I stood on the beach being pelted by raindrops. I felt arms snake around my waist and I jumped. I realized it was Sawyer, from nothing but pure instinct.

"You never seemed like the type to stand in the rain, like a little girl."

"You never seemed like the type to romance a girl, like a good guy."

"Guess we're both not what we seem." He said. I could almost feel the smirk on his face.

"Stop smirking. I stand in the rain and thank the gods for it. I love rain, because it feels like I'm crying like the sky." I could almost feel the smirk deepen.

"I know what you mean. Now come on. You'll be the death of the both of us." He steered us toward the tent again. I sat on my bed and he sat on his. "Look at you, with wet hair and all." he said, fingering one of the wet locks.

"You, too." I said, running my hand through his hair. He smiled as my hand traveled from his hair, down his shoulder and good arm, to his hand. "I've never felt so many conflicting emotions."

"Which is why we're not doing anything. Until we're both ready."

I nodded and started to untangle my hand from his. He grabbed my wrist. "I didn't say we won't going to do things we've already been doing." He said. I shivered a bit from the cold and from something else as well. He pulled on my arm, until I was standing and then sitting on his lap. "Cold, Sweetcheeks?"

"A little." I answered. He kissed me, lightly on the lips.

"Better? Or still cold."

"A little better." I said with a smile. "Well, can't have my girl cold now can I? Want to lay by me? For a little?"

What do I do? Oh, gods where's mom at a time like this? Or Kate? Even Shannon! "Um, okay." I said.

He laid down on his side and I curled myself into him, as best as I could on a bloody airplane seat. It was weird for a bit, but then the tension died down and Sawyer put his arm around me, holding me to him, as well as holding my hand. And, damn me for being so comfortable because the next thing I can remember is being awoken by Shannon, shouting at me.

"What the hell?" Sawyer shouted.

"He's back! Charlie's back."

I don't remember even thinking. I just remember shooting up from Sawyers bed and running, with no shoes from the beach to the caves. As I ran, I landed on a piece of wood, sticking out of the ground, and it went into my foot, but I kept running. By the time I got there, Jack and Kate were sitting with him.

"Uncle Charlie!" I exclaimed as I hugged him. He didn't hug back, that was odd to me. "Uncle Charlie?" I said as I sat in front of him. He didn't answer. "What's wrong? What did Ethan do?" Kate pulled me away from my uncle. Jack made sure Uncle Charlie was okay, and walked over to us to. Sawyer arrived a bit after me and stood behind me.

"What is wrong with my uncle?" I grounded out, trying to be civil to Jack, even as I had the urge to punch him.

"He's in shock, as far as I can tell. But, I think it's best if we just leave him like that for a bit."

"Leave him in a vegetative state? Or whatever? I thought you were a doctor. Even I know that being in shock isn't good. Why is he like this?"

Jack and Kate both preceded to tell me the gruesome tale of how they'd found my uncle hung from a tree, technically dead. How Jack, literally, had pounded life back into him. How they'd had to carry him like a baby back to the caves. I was clinging to Sawyer by the end of it all, trying hard not to cry, even though I wanted to for the longest time.

"Thank you. Both of you. For saving what family I had left." I said.

"Go back with Sawyer, Chrys. If there's any change, I'll send someone to get you."

I nodded and noticed pain in my foot. "OW! Bloody hell."

"What's wrong?" Sawyer asked.

"I dunno." I thought back to how I could have been hurt, and remembered. "I stepped on a piece of wood down on the trail."

"Sit." Jack ordered, pointing to a rock ledge near the waterfall. I did as I was told, grudgingly. Jack grabbed my ankle, and hoisted it up to his eye level. "There's a stick in your foot. How did you run, with a stick in your foot?"

"Don't ask me." I said. Sawyer, who was standing behind me, put his hands on my shoulder.

"It doesn't seem too deep. Not deep enough for stitches, but anti-biotics will be needed." He said. He went and grabbed a bag with gloves in it that looked clean enough. "Sawyer hold her down. This is going to hurt a bit." Sawyer put his arms around me and made sure I wouldn't move. Jack pulled the stick out and I cursed up a storm.

"Damn Jack! That hurt! Oh, bloody hell."

"Brace yourself for more pain." He said, as he poured something on my foot. Sun had probably made it.

"By the GODS! Jack that HURTS!" I screamed. He wrapped my foot up in the same fashion he had Sawyer's arm.

"You shouldn't walk for 24 hours. You need me to carry you?"

"No." I said and I tried to get up. Sawyer, had other ideas, as he picked me up and carried me away.

Jack shouted from behind us. "Come with Sawyer to get your antibiotics!"

I laughed a little at Jack's stupidity. The trip to the tent was quiet otherwise. Sawyer seemed to be lost in thought, and I let him be, as I was too. He set me on my bed, and sat down on his.

"Hey Chrys?"

I turned at the sound of his voice. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it's just one shock after another lately though."

"Do you... Do you want to sleep by me again?" He said tentatively.

I nodded, and went to get up. But Sawyer stopped me. "Mouse, didn't you hear the Doc? No walking for 24 hours." He said as he got up and picked me up again, setting me, this time, on his bed. He laid behind me again, and we slept the same way we had earlier in the day. Neither of us had nightmares that night.

In the morning when I woke up, Sawyer was watching me. "What Lion? Admiring me?" I said jokingly.

"Yes." He said simply. As I ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth without water, as I had every morning, he watched me. "Okay, since you can't walk, I was thinkin'. Maybe you should tell me something about yourself. Like I've shared about me."

"You're sure you want to hear about me?" I asked. He nodded, and I continued. "Okay I was born in London, where both of my parents lived, but weren't raised there. I always was around my uncles, Charlie and Liam. I loved Uncle Charlie, only because he seemed more trustworthy. I went to him, when my parents fought. My Uncle Liam however, was tied up with his own family even when he didn't have one. My parents left me a house there, to live in when I visit England. It has stables and everything. We moved from England, to the U.S, when I was five years old, and was I raised in Michigan, until I was ten. My dad was either off at the base where he worked, or at a bar, nursing a beer, and having affairs. My mom, worked for a interior design company and was always letting me have my 'creative' juices flowing by painting my room as my whims went. They fought off and on over stupid petty things when he was drunk. I was a good kid and if my dad was home and sober, he'd take me on the weekends and show me how to track, how to survive in the wilderness, until someone came and helped me. He showed me how to make a shelter to keep rain away, or how to stay warm in the snow. They left me a house there too. Even though I'll probably never go there. Is this getting to be too much, Sawyer?"

"No, keep going."

"Once I turned ten, my dad got re-assigned to a base in L.A. We moved there, and I adjusted well enough with the outcasted skateboarders. I learned how to do all the things the boys did, and then some. I was tough enough that the boys treated me as one of their own. But, no one would date me, because I had 'brothers' to protect me. Some of the boys treated me as family and protected me. My dad signed me up for survival camp at 13. The youngest girl there. I kicked all of their asses in survival training, because it was like naval training and my dad had me go through that during a few summer's in my child hood. My mom at this time in my life was telling me that I needed to be more like a girl so she took most of my pants away, and made me go shopping for less baggy styles of clothes. I did, but only on the condition that I got to keep my regular clothes and I would try to be a little less skater-punk and more girl. Needless to say, at the end of the first day that I wore my girly clothes, I lost a lot of the guys respect, and more jealousy from the girls. Not that I'm bragging, or anything. When I turned 14, my dad got called into the 'War on Terror. It was stupid, and I started protesting Bush almost immediately. Once I turned 16, I got my license and dad bought me a truck with 5 seats in it, and it had a hemi. I was happy. My dad went back to the war 5 days after my birthday. It was the last time I saw him in real life. They left me a house in L.A. as well."

"So how'd you get to be in Australia?" Sawyer asked as I paused.

"My mom decided that we needed to just get away for a while. So she packed up and moved us out of the U.S. Mom started drinking then, just a sudden outburst of alcoholism. It wasn't much for the longest time, just a bit tipsy every now and then, maybe a full out drunken state once a month. It was when we found out dad was dead that she started throwing herself into alcohol as an escape from the pain and sadness. A week later, the day after the funeral, that she died in a car accident." I said. "That's pretty much a summary of my life. Sorry it was so boring." I said with a small smile.

Sawyer had this look of awe on his face. "It wasn't boring. If that was an overview than your life must be filled with stuff though." He said with a smile. "Anyone else here know this much about you?"

"Only you and Uncle Charlie. You know, I was the reason that he was on the plane. I'm the reason he is being hurt."

"No, you're not. You're strong, yes, but still you needed your family. Your parents both knew that."

I nodded again. "I wish I could walk. I'm dying to move around." I whined.

"Well, we do have to go and get our meds." He said, as he swept me up into his arms. "Let's go bug the Doc, Sweetcheeks."

We laughed and talked the whole way to the caves. Where we found Kate and Jack kissing.

"AAAH! My eyes! Sawyer it burns!" I said, playfully.

"Oh, please. Like you two haven't done anything worse than this." Kate said, grinning.

"Sorry, still a virgin here. Only kissed 3 guys in my whole life, my dad, a guy named Jon, and Sawyer."

Everyone stared at me. "Damn, gave out too much information again." I muttered into Sawyer's chest. "Stop me from embarrassing myself next time, Lion. Please."

NOW FOR COOKIES, ICECREAM, and JELLO!

Charlie'sPunkDrugAngel

Thank you! I'm glad that you're loving the story. Thanks for reviewing.

LotRseer3350

A lot of people had that reaction at first. I'm glad to see that my story fuels your ideas.
Thanks so much and I hope this was update enough.

P.S. go to tv tome. com (without the spaces) and check out the LOST episode guide. I
don't want to spoil it here for the others who haven't seen it.

angel871

I love to hear that readers like my chapters. The golf game, surprisingly, was out of no
where, b/c I've yet to see that episode. :)

bitter.sweet.31

Thanks so much. AH! I can't believe I said that. Clairfication... I meant to say that
Sayid and Shannon are so cute together! But I gues my hands were too slow and cut off
the Sayid part, making it sound like I liked Shannon and Boon together... shudder
Sorry guys!

Super Moth

I'm sorry that the things you listed bother you... Um... I can't help but quote a review I
have just gotten from Mars (hope either of you don't mind). "Chrys has experienced so
much in her almost-18 years; both parents' deaths, being seen as an outcast by the people
she probably thought cared, and pretty much just having her whole life yanked out from
under her like a rug or somethin'. She needs a way to get that off her shoulders, and
Sawyer's it. He gives her a voice, as she does him. They make one another feel like they
CAN stand up and say something, do something." Mars wrote that so well, and had Chrys
and Sawyer's relationship so very right. I like Chrys the way she is, even if she's
classified as a Mary-Sue... It's not as though everyone likes her... Look at the fight she
and Jack had... She doesn't get along with people who baby her, and treat her as though
she's made of glass. She argues, and fights, and stands up for herself... I figured that
made her seem like an independent woman... I didn't take this as a flame, and I thank
you for voicing your opinon.

Mars

Thank you so much for this review... I had a few reviews that made me feel as though I
should stop writing, or rewrite this entire story... Your review made me feel like not
every reader hated it. You've got Sawyer and Chrys' relationship nailed...(lol) I'm trying
to figure out if Chrys is going to hate Jack, or forgive him, or maybe just deal and move
on with his ... weirdness (you know what I mean)... I wanted to make the rant so much
longer, but I didn't want to get everyone mad about a 500 page essay on why Jack is such
a jerk when it came to Chrys. :D Thank you SO MUCH, because you saved me from just
abandoning this story. :D

Leah

Thank you, I'm glad you read it. :D

Mrs Chipmunk

I'm glad you liked it. I hope you read again. :D