Tristen walked down the corridors of Red Dwarf and was greeted by a pinch on her ass by the pervy and disgustingly filthy Dave Lister. Hey their girlie he cooed. He drove closer to her Tristen's nostrils filled up with his scent (which was a mix between gagging body odor and curry). She stroked his head, Dave not in your most sickening dreams will your body come ANYWHERE close to mine! She shoved him away. Cat came out from the distance as Tristen turned the corner, Damn! She tooold you! Oh shut up Cat lets go.

"I cant believe this mess in Rimmer's quarters he's usually so prim and proper but ever since Tristen has come aboard it's almost as if he's gotten a brain transplant from Mr. Lister." Said Kryten. "Thanks for cleaning up but it won't be necessary". "But Mr. Arnold it hurts me so that you have been living so sloppily. I don't know if I can go on much longer this way. This room is absolutely atrocious". Rimmer began to feel defeated he didn't know why he had abandoned his habits of consistent order and perfection was this love or was it pure incompitance?"Ah! That's where your wrong" "Why is that sir?" " Because…..You aren't even experienced! You've never been in love; you probably don't even know what it is! Do you Kryten!" " Love a strong positive emotion of regard and affection." "Yes but you don't know what it feels like to have a beautiful woman, to be able to touch and feel aaah. He began to get raspy and out of breath, he then realized what he was saying so he stopped in mid sentence before he could cause himself any more obscure embarrassment and lord knows his life was filled with it. "Well it seems to me sir that love is quite painful." "Now why would you say that Kryten?" " Well sir I heard many elongated aaahs and ooohs". "That's enOuGH! Um ehhh. Never mind Kryten just leave."

" Why hello there" Tristen cooed into the ear of her newly acquired love, she slid onto Rimmer's lap stroking his bangs. "Um erhm um..." "Shhhh Tristen pushed her finger against Arnold's lips. Arnold's knees buckled and his right leg began to shake, pull it together lado! He attempted to kiss her but missed and ended up sucking on her chin, he became calm and acted as if he meant to do it "Missy you are amazing" "I'll catch you around tiger". "um... o..o..o

"Ok"? Tristen replied. "Um, yeah, right, bye.

"Im telling ya Cat its not natural in all of Rimmer's life the only affection he ever received was from his motha and even that rode the border line". "Exactly why would a girl like that want to be with gold post head?" " I know maybe she wanted to practice for the endzone, but I mean all of his life people have thought he was a smeggar, what's changed? There has to be a catch somewhere and that's what were gonna havta find out. I'll find out if it's the last thing I do."Hol I want a backround check on Tristen Marks right now."