SO: yes, I promise that this is the LAST chapter! Took me long enough, neh?
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...
Chapter 19
Alt. End 2
Part 2
Angel on my Shoulder
It's an odd thing, life that is. They say it's short, yet if that's true, why does it last an eternity? I guess once it becomes too long, there are people who escape it. That method has pros and cons. Firstly, it's all great to just finally be free, I assume. I can not say, for it's never actually occurred to me until now. Though, I probably have had something along those lines happen to me. I guess it does to everyone.
For as long as I can remember, I don't think I've truly ever smiled. Well I must have, at one point, but not to my memory. Ever wonder why that happened? Well, I'm not too sure myself. It just did.
The concept can be broken down into individual problems. I wouldn't say problems…as they are more like occurrences. For one, the word, trust. It can be defined as "hard gained, easily lost". In all truths, there probably isn't a single soul who hasn't experienced this, though the cases may vary.
In my case, it was the case of Mother's love, and the girl's trust. Other than Mother and Father (though, I was too proud to admit it) there wasn't anyone I really loved. And at that age I'm sure everyone thought the same too. The girl, on the other hand, I gave her a shot. In other words, I trusted her. I'm not too sure what the cause was, or if it really happened, but I lost her trust that day. It all seems like a part out of a movie or something. Just a painful memory that always lingered at the back of my mind.
All that I truly learned, from that day, was that I was weak. True, it's not something I would say out loud, but to myself even I had difficulty to come to that conclusion. It was the weakness of my heart, that made me who I am. You could call it an emotional overload, or more like a breakdown.
After that, it all seems like such a blur. Up until recently, that is. That's when she came. I don't really know what happened, nor do I wish to think about it. It was something surreal. For so long, I had shunned the world and suddenly, I saw it in a new light…in a way. I never actually thought I could, in a matter of speaking, enjoy myself. I never remembered what that felt like. It was as if the moon was in my reach, or something, and in the blink of an eye, it couldn't have been more far away.
Now this is all metaphoric crap, but you get the idea. As I said before, running from the world has its pros. But mostly, it's got cons. And not just to the person that flees, but to the ones that were close. For the first little while, all anyone around the house could do was mope and sulk. Not that it normally wouldn't bother me, but in this case, I was one of them. Maybe I didn't show it as much as the others did, but inside, I knew for myself. I knew after that, another trust was lost, and I guess love was too, though I'd rather not put it like that.
But it's weird, now, a whole month without the black-haired grownup child around anymore. It's something I have to get used to though. I never actually noticed how much she'd become a part of the family. But since when did I care about family anymore?
I've learned over some time, that someone never really departs this world. They're probably just reborn somewhere else, and have no memory of the past, or spirits just wander, invisible to everyone else. In that case, everyone is immortal, in a way. My guess is that you will become a spirit. It seems odd for another person to have a personality as you once had. Here we go with more metaphoric junk.
Just like people used to do back then, they'd turn to the elements of nature, and see the departed souls. They'd look into the starts, and see a smile. Not that I look at the stars, but I guess one could see that. And then listen to the wind, and one can hear a voice. That I know is true. I've heard it myself on occasions now. Sometimes I think I've just lost all sense when that happens. The wind blows through the many city trees, and I can hear you laugh…or mock sometimes.
Now, I don't believe in coincidences too often. So I assume it was around a day or two after she'd departed, when I could feel a strange presence looming about the entire household that day. I didn't think much of it at the time, but the next morning, the feeling was gone. As well, a single black rose lay perfectly still, on the windowsill of my room. Wondering who could have moved it there, I checked the top of my furniture. Sure enough, the other was still there. So I wondered how her rose ended up with me, once again.
Since I was very little, death was always something I couldn't stand. Everyone seemed to die around the world, and around me as well. But as I learned later on, it comes with the cycle of life, and sometimes we can chose when it will end, and other times it's totally random.
So now when I was faced with the decision to end the cycle, it tore me in half. The side that wanted to pass on, and the other that longed to be apart of the world of man for even just a day longer. I guess that tear in my soul, caused why I'm as I am now. It's not so bad actually, though I really don't have time to reflect upon my old life anymore.
Seeing his face, one last time, made me equally happy and sad. Happy, that I could probably remember his face for the eternity I'm now destined to live. Sad, that he witnessed my terrible sin, the sin of death. Either way, even though I was physically gone, my spirit still longed to live.
That's how I became a half-angel.
A half-angel has no wings, and still walks alongside mankind. Though its not known, they have a glowing touch, and that's really the only difference…oh yes, and they have no heartbeat. Now, it might seem like a great thing to be immortal, but really my life isn't all peachy anymore. See, now my job, is a death-angel.
Yes, it sounds weird, and the process is odd too. When you're kissed by a death-angel, your soul leaves your body. But there are things that can go wrong in the process. This, I won't explain though. It's not important. The fact is, I'm sent to different parts of the world, out to rid the world of some people's lives.
But before this task was bestowed upon me, I still had a day or so to leave my home. I took this time to visit the people I could call family. No one really seemed to notice. Though the time I spent wandering around, all they did was seem to be sad. Not that they heard me in any way, but I think it was Meiko, whom I told to smile for me. She turned around, and looked sort of lost, but never the less, she smiled.
There was really only one person left to visit. That was him. So for my final day I tagged alongside him. He seemed to think that something was following him. I'd expect nothing less from a great demon, as well as a great spirit. I'm not going to go into much detail about how my last moments with him were, but I really don't know what I was thinking that night.
There was a black rose in my hair that night; the one Meiko had given to me. I was thinking he'd have it back, also I couldn't stand to be reminded of my past life, and the grief I put everyone through. So I laid it to rest on the windowsill, and stood by his side all night.
When daybreak came, my time was up. This would for sure be our last meeting. I walked over and was able to stroke his silky hair, one last time. My hand glowed, and I held back tears, as to the fact that he couldn't feel it, nor could I. And not wanting to cause my already tainted soul more pain, I kissed his forehead, and walked back over to the window. He stirred in your sleep, and I knew I had to go.
Until your time comes, don't come after me, don't look for me. I'd love to see you again and I long for it too, but it's for the best. As a ray of sun shone where I stood, I could see myself fading away into the air. It was time to begin my life from square one. And after all that…I never even got to say that I…
End
SO: aren't I just GREAT with endings? (AO throws shoe) hey! What was that for?
AO: for ending it badly!
SO: sure…I like this ending! It's very…open!
AO: whatever, just hurry with the sequel will you?
SO: when I feel like it. I'm in that Naruto crazed faze right now, therefore I'm changing my name to Hinata-hime. Kay? Kay! anyway, thanks sooooo much to everyone who stayed with me and this fic till the end. (throws candy) hope it eventually met your expectations!
