Chapter 13
Disappointment

It had been three years ago. Syaoran had won a case for a wealthy cocaine dealer, called Madame Candy Cane in the city's underworld. Guess who invited him to the celebration party.

With nothing better to do and wanting a temporary high to get himself off his feelings of self-loathing, Syaoran went. He had passed out and found himself lying facedown on this landing in this very stairwell.

The stairwell door opened, letting Kendra Cain onto the scene.

Syaoran almost had a panic attack right then and there. He felt his eyes widen and he ran his hand agitatedly through his wet hair.

- - -

Sakura followed Li's gaze to find out what the hell he was staring at. It turned out to be a someone and not a something. But maybe that was saying too much. After all, Ms. Cain couldn't be human – not after all she had done. Why was Li staring?

She's not that pretty! Sakura thought to herself.

There you go again – being jealous. Honestly, this is such a hassle. And stop lying to me . . . yourself . . . whatever – she is pretty, deal with it.

Shut up.

"Why, Mr. Showron!" Ms. Cain said. "Haven't seen you around in ages!"

Syaoran blinked stupidly. "Yes. It's been a while," he said simply.

Why would Li know herSakura thought. Unless . . . no, it couldn't be!

"What happened to you?" the woman asked, eyeing him in his wet state.

"Just washing off the last few years of my life," Syaoran mumbled, so that Sakura could barely hear. "It's taking a lot of soap."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I just had the spill of my life," he said. "I think I swallowed a lot of soap."

"Interesting," Ms. Cain said, smiling indulgently. "See you around."

She left.

- - -

I am SO dead! Syaoran thought.

He looked at Sakura and it was like his heart just stopped. She had that expression on her face. The one he had tried his best for years never to see. He knew it would happen. He had waited ten years for it and there it was. In her eyes, he could see just how disappointed she was in him. She covered it well, but it was still amazing that after ten years he was still able to read her face so well it was almost as if reading her mind.

The expression on her face was worse than disappointment. It was pity.

- - -

"Well," Sakura said, still slightly stunned at what she had just seen, "I guess I know how you've been, now."

"That was a long time ago," he said quietly.

"I hope so."

What is wrong with him! Sakura thought. He never used to be this screwed up. Maybe I should have kept trying. If I had gotten through to him, would he still be . . . no. Not going down that road again. He gave up on us, so I gave up on him. It's not my fault he gave up on himself.

And suddenly, she was angry again. Why had he given up? Why didn't he just talk to her? She decided that this was as good a time as any to ask.

"So?" she said expectantly.

"Yeah?" Li answered warily.

"Don't you have anything to say?"

Li hesitated. He hesitated too long.

"So you're not even going to apologize?"

"For what?"

"FOR WHAT!?"

"I mean," he stammered, "I'm not sure which part you want me to apologize for."

"How about for not speaking to me for ten years?" Sakura shouted. "How about that? How about making me worry about you for years? How about leaving me wondering every night what you were doing? How about making me doubt our relationship? How about apologizing for leaving me hanging? How about for knocking me down the stairs? At the very least you could apologize for that!"

Silence.

Then, "Do you really think any apology I could give would be enough?"

Sakura frowned. He was right. As always. God that was annoying. "No, actually I don't think so, but I'd like to hear an apology just the same."

Syaoran looked at her, his eyes did look full of remorse. Puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I really am. And I don't expect forgiveness. I don't even expect seeing you again, but I'm really, really sorry for everything."

Sakura sighed. "I believe you." But you're right. I still don't forgive you.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, I'm going to go now," Sakura said. "And I'll take the elevator."

She left him standing there, sodden and miserable.

Author's Note: I'm sorry I made Syaoran so icky – but if you had seen the original version, you'd be thanking me right now. And I'm sorry the update took so damn long. First, I got lazy because there was school. Then my Fridays were taken up by Nogales football games, then I couldn't get on the internet. I'm only updating nowand not onaFriday like I like to do because I think I owe it to my readers to take themtake them off their cliff hangars. Butif I don't get at least 4 reviews by next week, I'm not adding chapter fourteen (which is done!) until after a month.

And just to add incentive for you reviewers, here are some questions you need to be asking yourselves:

What about Julian Samuels?

Are Sakura and Li going to see each other again?

Will Syaoran ever stop being a jackass?

What is this thing about Sakura's powers?

Will Kero show up at all?

What happens with Syaoran's case?

What about Tomoyo and Eriol?

Your questions may be answered . . . if you review enough.