Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#
Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive criticism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me… I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, random flying antelope.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Hey everyone...
Oh my God. You guys are fabbity fabbity fab fab fab. Over 100 reviews! I love you, I really do!
"I'd... I'd like to thank my family, my pet rabbit, my pet carrot..."
To celebrate I was going to go grab myself a ice cold Pina Colada. But then again, maybe a nice warm Hot Chocolate would be better in this weather. GO AWAY RAIN CLOUDS, IT'S NOT WINTER YET!
Thank you for all your lovely reviews. It was quite scary when I collapsed because it was on a public bus. It was really cool as well though, nothing like that ever happens to me so when I woke up, I was like: "Wow! I collapsed! That's so cool!"
The doctors don't know why I keep getting headaches but they said if I keep taking some pills they gave me, I should be fine. The pills are really gross. I hate them, why don't they have a flavour?
This chapter is a bit rushed because I was kinda out of it when I wrote. No seriously, that stuff they give you in hospital is like- woah! Really strange, and it kinda made me see things differently and oh, it was awful!
So yeah... My doctor advised me to limit my time on the computer but oh well. I'd rather risk my health and read FanFiction than sit around being boring.
So, does anyone have MSN messenger? If you do, leave me your address and I'll add you to my list.
(Please! I have no friends on MSN.)
PassionFlower
xxxxx
You've been my friend as long as I r'member,
You're the nicest person I know (I know)...
I've stopped and thought about this ('bout this, 'bout this)
But (quietly)... I think I like you (like you)
but I'm scared to say
Scared to say yeah, yeah
Scared To Say- Avril Lavigne
It had been exactly two days since Hermione had accepted Parvati and Lavender's bet. During this time she had been more rebellious than she had in her entire life. Many people had begun to notice and wondered why 'The Golden Trio' now lacked one. Everyone had their own ideas, including the Slytherins.
"I heard that the Mudblood is pregnant," said Pansy.
Malfoy wrinkled his nose in disgust, "Who'd want to have sex with her?"
"Potter apparently," replied Pansy, "Her birthday was sometime in September. It was his present to her."
"The Mudblood has a birthday?" asked Malfoy, "I thought she'd merely congealed in a gutter somewhere."
The sixth years laughed before turning back to Pansy who was practically wetting herself over the excitement of so many people being interested in her.
She giggled. "Anyway, when Granger told Potter she was pregnant, he threw a fit. That's why they're not talking."
"Err," mumbled Crabbe, "Why is she with Patil and Brown?"
"Advice," replied Pansy, "They're slags, they probably have hundreds of kids hidden away."
There was silence in the group before Draco asked; "How can Granger be pregnant if she had her period today?"
"It was a decoy, to stop people being suspicious."
"But why would they be? She hasn't shown any signs of pregnancy."
"Yes, she has," argued Pansy, "She's getting a little fat around the edges."
Draco snorted. They all knew Pansy was jealous of Granger's makeover. As much as he hated to admit it, the mudblood had been looking, dare he say, attractive. He shuddered.
"And what was that supposed to mean?" asked Pansy angrily.
The rest of the sixth years watched with rapt attention. It wasn't often that you saw the most popular Slytherins arguing.
"What?"
She imitated his snort.
"Oh, I was just thinking that you were obviously je-"
He paused before mentally smacking himself. "Err, I mean. I was just thinking back to today's Potions lesson."
Pansy's expression softened and she giggled. "Yeah that was funny. The way the mudblood panicked and then embarrassed Snape."
Many of the boys looked at Malfoy questionably, knowing that he'd just told a lie. He shook his head, before mouthing Later.
"Right, well I'm going to bed."
There was a murmur of agreement as they all stood up stretching. Bidding each other goodnight, they went up to their respected dorms.
None of them noticed the small first year huddled in the corner listening to every word. She smirked, this was just the thing to boost her popularity. Yes, by tomorrow, everyone would know of Hermione Granger's pregnancy.
OF LOVE AND PIERCINGS...
Dear Diary
I cant believe how much fun Parvati and Lavender are. I had fun with harry and Ron but with girls it's different. They can relate to all your girlie problems and you can tell them all your secrets without feeling embarrassed.
Besides, I always feel slightly nervous round Harry and Ron because Ron always wants to know who I like. I know Ron likes me, it's pretty obvious but I just don't feel that way. Ron is more like an older brother, an overprotective, annoying big brother, but a brother just the same. Whereas Harry, well Harry, he's just so..so perfect. His beautiful green eyes that seem to search your soul. His long black hair that looks so soft you want to run your hands through it. And his sense of humour and his laugh, the way he smiles... Everything about him is just so perfect.
Love Hermione Potter (I wish...)
Sighing happily, Hermione closed the small black book and tucked it safely into her trunk. Reaching under her pillow, she pulled out her red and gold checked pyjamas and quickly changed into them. She was about to settle down and read her book when Parvati called her into the bathroom.
Stretching, Hermione slowly padded over to the bathroom.
"Ok Hermione," said Parvati smoothly," I want you to sit on this stool and relax."
"Why?" she asked, as she cautiously sat down.
Parvati didn't answer, instead she bent down and scraped Hermione's hair into a scruffy ponytail.
"What are you doing?" she asked again.
Parvati smiled, "You'll see."
It was at that moment that Lavender walked into the bathroom carrying a large basket of assorted items.
Parvati said a few whispered words to her before leaving the room.
"What's going on?"
"We're piercing your ears."
Hermione squeaked and clasped her hands over her ears, "Oh now you're not!"
"Oh yes we are," said Parvati as she came back in the room. She chucked a pair of gloves over to Lavender before putting a pair on herself. Reaching into the basket, she pulled out two small ice packs which she placed on Hermione's ears.
"Parvati, no!"
Hermione wriggled as she tried to escape their clutches.
"Hermione, if you don't shut up I'm gonna hex your ass back to the muggle world!"
"Whatever," yelped Hermione.
"Hermione!" yelled Parvati, "If you don't stay still I might accidentally jab this needle somewhere other than your ear!"
Hermione stilled immediately. "Isn't there a spell that could pierce my ears?"
"There is. But it can go wrong."
"Oh please. Just use that!"
"Do you want dumbo ears?"
"Not really."
"Then this is the only way."
Hermione nodded slightly before cursing under her breath. Parvati took no notice, instead she nodded to Lavender who moved forwards and removed the ice packs from her ear.
"Ok Hermione. I'm going to pierce one ear and Lavender will pierce the other." She grabbed her wand. "Whoops, almost forgot. Silencio!"
This, of course, did nothing to calm Hermione's nerves. "A silencing spell?! This is going to hurt isn't it! That's why you're putting one up. It's going to HURT. Parvati, Lavender... I don't want my ear piercing now! Leave me alone!"
"Hermione," soothed Lavender,"Just sit down, take a deep breath and relax... 3, 2 ,1 ..."
"ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The two girls jumped back in shock. The needles flew through the air narrowly missing Olivia Watson, their dormmate, who had come to brush her teeth.
She surveyed the room in shock before asking: "What the hell are you doing?!"
SIRIUSLY IN LOVE
Dear Sirius,
I hope this letter finds you well now that you're a free man! Yeah Sirius! You're a free man! (This is Ron by the way!) Ron, shut up. How is the Lowkey Pad coming along? I can't wait till the summer, my first ever without the Dursley's! Yeah those stupid bastar- Sorry Sirius, Ron is being gay. Me being gay? You're the one who is denying the fact that you luuurrrvvve Hermione. Oh God Sirius. Harry is acting really weird. he's standing in front of me saying: "Don't go there girlfriend" and then snapping a 'Z' in the air. Help!
Ha! That scared him off! Anyway, Sirius, I need you to give me some advice. Say this girl that you really like stops talking to you. Then one day when you accidentally find yourself under your invisibility cloak in the girls dorms We weren't pinching the girls underwear Sirius, honest! Ron, shut up. Anyway, you find out that she likes you too but she can't talk to you because of a bet. Basically, he's trying to say that HE LOVES HERMIONE BUT SHE HAS GONE CrAZy! Thanks Ron, tell the whole common room while you're at it. Ok. NO RON! I didn't mean it! Get down from the table NOW!
Sorry Sirius, I have to go.
Harry and Ron
Sirius smiled. They sounded just like he and James did when they were that age. He was about to write back when he spotted another piece of parchment in the envelope. Reaching forwards, he unfolded it and read:
Sirius,
I was just about to send this with Hedwig when I realised I had another question. I didn't ask it with Ron around because I would never hear the end of it. I don't know how to say this, but I suppose it's better than asking you face to face...
How do you know when you're in love? It's just that recently I've been, well, I've been noticing things about here. Not just the normal things that guys notice, but other things. Like how, when she laughs she tilts her head back and lets her hair trail down her back. And the way her hair sparkles and shines in sun light and it just seems to glow ... bouncing round her shoulders as she saunters down the corridor. And when she's shy or embarrassed she leans forwards and her hair falls into her face and she smiles the cutest smile. And her eyes ... well, I'll shut up now because I'm sure I must be boring you.
But Sirius, the thing is is that I've realised I have liked her for a long while, I just paid no attention to my feelings. And now she's gone... I find myself missing her. A lot. But when I see her, there's just this happy ping in my stomach and...
Oh shit. An owl has just crapped on my head. Stupid bastard! Yeah, well... I think I've been here to long now. Ron will wonder where I am and I don't want to miss my curfew.
Write soon.
Harry
Sirius gasped quietly, before smiling happily. He looked up to the sky before murmuring softly: "Well, Prongs. I think your son may be in love."
BLOOD AND DUMBO
Hermione whimpered as she looked at the amount of blood on her finger. She turned a strange shade of green, then white before falling off her chair as she fainted.
"CRAP!" cried Lavender , running towards her friend.
"I'll get Madame Pompfrey." called Olivia as she raced out the room.
Pulling her friends head onto her lap, Lavender gently stroked her head while Parvati attempted to stem the blood flow.
"I didn't realise it would bleed that much..." whispered Lavender.
"Me neither."
"At least she didn't get Dumbo ears." said Parvati with a small smile.
"Yeah..."
A FEW HOURS LATER
Hermione stared in the mirror at her newly pierced ears. Madame Pompfrey had assigned both Parvati and Lavender detentions. ("Scrubbing bedpans. She is such a cow!" they'd exclaimed as soon as she left) The school nurse had advised Hermione to go to sleep, something that they'd taken blind notice of.
"It was so scary!" said Parvati, "Did it really hurt?"
"YES! I wouldn't have screamed otherwise. But still, I quite like pierced ears. Even if they are still sore."
"They look so cool. Harry will be falling at your feet. Not that he isn't already..."
Hermione blushed. "For the last time, I do not fancy Harry! Never have and never will." She paused, "Besides, Harry would never like a girl like me."
Parvati and Lavender sighed in frustration before hitting their friend around the head with a pillow. She could be so stupid at times.
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
"Checkmate." said Ron triumphantly.
"Bugger!" cried Harry. "Want another game?"
"Nah... I might go to bed."
"Go on Ron. One more game!"
"Harry, it's really late. And besides, you look like you could you use some sleep. You look awful."
"Thanks." He replied sarcastically, "Go on, just a quick game."
"Harry, mate, have you been sleeping?"
"Err... yes."
"No you haven't Harry. You can tell, I hear you tossing and turning at night. You're always getting up in the middle of the night. What's wrong, why aren't you sleeping?"
Harry was saved from answering when Madame Pomfrey came through the portrait hole, Olivia Watson trailing in her wake.
"Olivia!" Ron called, as soon as Madame Pomfrey disappeared up to the girls dormitories. "What's wrong?"
"Hermione." said Olivia before running after the school nurse.
Harry and Ron looked at each other in alarm. "Do you think she'll be alright?"
Ron bit his lip. "I don't know."
They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Shall we go to bed?"
"Sure."
All night, Harry lay awake with one question in his mind. What was wrong with Hermione?
GOSSIPING RAVENCLAW
"W-wisdom!" panted the fourth year Ravenclaw, the portrait opened and she quickly ran to her dormitory.
"Beth, Willow, Hilary. Oh what the hell, girls. I have something to tell you."
Almost instantly, every girl in the fourth year dormitory ran towards her. "Girls... Hermione Granger is pregnant!"
GOSSIPING HUFFLEPUFF
"Have you heard?" asked Janet Taylor. "Hermione Granger is pregnant."
The assembled Hufflepuff's gasped before whispering excitedly.
THE NEXT MORNING
"Lavender! Have you seen my shoes?"
"The red ones with black stripes?"
"No, the black ones with red stripes!"
Hermione moaned and banged her head on the mirror. She was having one of those mornings where everything seemed to be going wrong. Her hair was frizzy, her skin felt oily, she felt fat and to top it all of, her ears hurt.
"Hermione?" asked Lavender, brushing her long blonde hair, "What's wrong?"
Hermione was about to rant about how bad she was feeling when Parvati asked where her hairbrush was.
"In here, Parv. I borrowed it 'cause I can't find mine,"
"Wow." said Parvati as she brushed her hair into a bun. "Hermione you look awful! What's wrong?"
Hermione sighed. "I feel ugly and I look ugly. I'm fat, my hair is frizzy and my skin feel like I've stuck it in chip fat. My ears feel like someone rammed a needle into them- oh wait, they did!"
Ignoring Hermione's directed insult to her and Lavender she began pulling various items out of the cupboard. "Well Hermione, your hair can be fixed with an easy spell , your skin will feel fresher if you use these wipes and I can assure you that you are not fat. As for your ears, a little pain relieving spell can help that."
Hermione often wondered how Parvati seemed to know more spells than her. Granted that most of them were beauty spells, in fact thay all were beauty spells, but that was beside the point.
"Right Hermione. You look as gorgeous as you usually do. Now lets go."
