Disclaimer: Harry Potter dances away from my belongings... In other words, most of it dances towards JK Rowling... Oh the humiliation! #cries#
Please feel free to review (hint, hint) Constructive cristicism is welcome, if however, you choose to flame me instead... I will come and hunt you down and hit you round the head with a large, randomly convenient flying antelope.
Authors Note: Aren't I nice? I'm giving you all an extra special Christmas present. It's a whole new chapter! Whoo! Even though half of you didn't bother reviewing the last bloody chapter. (Oh God I sound English)
Anyway, you lucky people... here it is...
Dear Diary
I'm writing this in the Hospital Wing. Oh, don't worry about me Diary. I'm not hurt. I'm just cleaning the bedpans again. Those bloody bedpans. I don't know why they need to be cleaned that much. Harry spends more time in the Hospital Wing than anyone else and he never uses them. So why do they ahev to be cleaned?
I just came back from talking to Dumbledore. He called me into his offfice after breakfast. We were there for quite a long time. Anyhoo, the gist and nub of it is that I shouldn't worry about what people say about me. It's is obviously all lies and anybody who believes that is jealous. He didn't even seem that shocked when I told him I wanted to throw his favourite student down and shag him senseless. He just smiled knowingly. I also asked him if I could go back into my History of Magic class. I've never done anything bad before (well, excdpt that one time. And the other... and that time when...). Anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, I've always got good grades and I have been a dedicated student. His eyes twinkled (DAMN THOSE TWINKLY EYES!) and he told me he would talk to Professor Binns. Then he offered me a lemon drop.
He really is a very weird man. But very cool. And very insane.
Eurgh. This is a really disgusting job. Still, I only have one bed to do. Oh bugger, Madam Pomfrey is coming.
Oh. God.
The last bed turned out to hold none other than the love of my life... Harry Potter.
He looked so lovely . His long, dark silky hair; a sharp contrast the white linen he lay upon. His skin was all creamy and his eyelashes were so dark and long. Wasted on a guy really. Girls would kill for eyelashes like that. Sirius was slumped in a chair next to him, fast alseep. Madam Pomfrey must have given him a sleeping draught. He never usually sleeps at all when Harry is ill or injured.
I crept over to him and stared at him for a little while, (Praying nobody would walk in on me at that very moment because I'm sure I looked like a crazy stalker)
Anyway. After that, I bent down and... kissed him. Then I looked up and saw Sirius smiling at me. And I did what anyone in that situation would have done... I ran.
Love Hermione
Xxx
"Then what?" asked Remus.
"Then she bent down and kissed him."
Remus's eyes widened comically and he let out a gasp.
"Then..." continued Sirius. "She looked up and saw me. She let out a squeak and ran."
The two friends sat in silence for a moment. Then Remus spoke up: "I wish Harry would have been awake for that. He really likes Hermione."
"Yeah." Sighed Sirius, he turned to look at his sleeping Godson. He frowned, there was something different about him. He looked more alive, he had more colour in his cheeks and: "OH MY GOD! Remus, his finger moved! He's waking up!"
It is so cool that Dumbledore got you back into this class – P
Hermione...
Hermione...
HERMIONE!
I've been waving this piece of paper in your face for five minutes. Answer me! -P
Guys. I can't really talk. I have to pay attention. - H
Come on Hermione. Stop being swotty and write to us. If he finds out we will say that we forced you to do it and put you under the imperious curse. – L
Yeah. He'll believe that. – H
Damn straight he will. – L
Lavender, he's like God. All-knowing and omnipotent and stuff. –H
Yeah. And about as old as him. – L
I wonder what his trouser snake addendum looks like. – P
PARVATI! – H
What the hell is a trouser snake addendum? – LIt's his... err. His family jewels – P
Huh? – LHis pee-pee – H
Huh? - L
His package – P
Huh? – L
His thingy– H
Huh? – L
HIS BLOODY DICK! God! How stupid can you be? – P
Lol. I knew what you were talking about. I just wanted to see you squirm! – L
Arggh! – P
Ok. Let's get off the subject of Dumbledore and his manly things – H
But – LSHUT UP! WE WILL NOT SAY ANYMORE! WE WILL NOT SPEAK OF THIS SUBJECT AGAIN! – H
Ok – P
Ok – L
I bet it's all wrinkly – P
SHUT UP! Arggh! Mental images! Mental images! – H
Dear Diary
I really do love spending time with Parvati and Lavender. They're not airheads, as you might think on first impression. They're genuinally nice people. I mean theyhaven't even shoved their Divination stuff under my nose yet. They don't mention it at all in fact. And I really get on with them. I still can't believe there is only three of us in this dorm, but it's fun now because you can have whichever bed you want and sometimes we push them all together and have huge pillow fights. Great fun!
It's strange that we get on so well though. We're all completely different. Like picture the scene in our dorm at the moment. Lavender is styling her hair in the mirror and consulting a Teen Witch magazine, I think she's trying to copy a hairstyle. Parvati is frowning and scribbling something in a notebook. And me, I'm lying on my bed writing this down. I wonder what Parvati's writing. She's – oh wait, now I know. She's planning our sleepover on Saturday and she's asking us what we should do. In fact, let me write our conversation down.
Parvati: Right, we really do need to start planning this sleepover on Saturday.
Lavender (mumbling): Yeah... what ever.
Parvati: Ok, what food do we want?
Lavender: ice cream.
Me: Chocolate.
Parvati (scribbling that down): What else?
Me: Pizza.
(They both stare at me)
Parvati: What the hell is pizza?
Me: You... you.. You've never tasted pizza?(They shake their heads)
Me: Are there any Muggle stores nearby?
Parvati: Hermione, Hogsmeade is the only all wizarding town on the country. It's also the only one nearby.Of course there aren't any Muggle stores.
Lavender: There is one actually. Run by some Muggle-born people up Turnpike Street. My mum used to go there when they were younger.
Me: Well that is sorted then. What else?Lavender: Chips!
Me: And crisps.
Parvati: Ok, so we're having: Pizza, chips, ice cream, chocolate and crisps.
Me: That sounds about right. We'll see what else we can find when we go shopping.
Lavender: Just wondering... how are we going to get to Hogsmeade?
Me: I have my ways...
Parvati (eyebrows raised): Riiigghht... Anyway, what drink?
Lavender: Butterbeer. Firewhiskey.
Me: Firewhiskey? We're not drinking Firewhiskey!
Lavender (huffing): Fine.
Me: How about... lemonade, coca-cola and fruit juices.
Parvati: Sure.
Lavender: And hot chocolate and marshmallows!
Me: And-
Parvati (interrupting): RIGHT! We have enough drink now, we don't want to be going to the toilet all night. What games shall we play?
Me: We're picking games? Why are we picking games? Don't you usually just play them as a spur of the moment thing?
Parvati (sighing): Fine. Who do we want to invite?
Me: Us.
Lavender: Well done Captain Obvious. We should invite Amelia and her friends... what are they called?... Oh wait... she doesn't have any!
Parvati (giggling): Biatch
(I seem to have been introduced to the girls world of bitching)
Lavender: Anyway, we'll invite Padma.
Parvati: Do we have to?
Me: YES! And invite Ginny.
Parvati: Who else?
Me: I think we should leave it at that... We don't want to invite too many people
Lavender: Hermione... We've invited two people!
Parvati: No, I think she's right. We'll just keep it with five people.
Lavender: Spoilsport.
Me: Oh shut up.
(Lavender sticks her tongue out at me)
I have to go now. Parvati is forcing me to design invitations ("If we're going to have a sleepover, we're going to do it properly") and sort some party games out.
What a load of rubbish...
See ya later Diary!
Love Hermione
xxxx
Dear ...(NAME)...
It is our pleasure to inform you that you have been invited to the Gryffindor Girls Sleepover Party on Saturday night. There will be food, sweets, chocolate and other junk that will leave you looking as spotty and fat as hell, but incredibly happy (Though you may also feel slightly ill). It starts at 6:01pm and you will stay all night. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity... If you would like to come, please fill out the following form and send it by owl as quickly as possible.
From
Hermione. J. Granger
Lavender. R. Brown
Parvati. L. Patil.
I, ......., would love to come to your sleepover party on Saturday night. It sounds great. Hermione is also great. She is really wonderful and so talented. I wish I could be her. Hermione is great, Hermione is fine, Hermione is really, really divine. And Parvati and Lavender are poo. Poo, poo, poo!
So. How many people have told us they can come? – H
Everyone can come! It's gonna be great! – P
So. When are we gonna get the stuff? – L
I have a free period tomorrow. Fourth lesson – H
Oh no. Me and Lav have Divination – P
Skip it! – H
What is this? Hermione telling students to skip lessons? The world has gone mad! – L
Oh ha ha. You're so funny, I forgot to laugh. – H
Well, technically you did laugh. See, you put "Ha Ha". So you did laugh – P
Oh for goodness sakes. SHUT UP! – H
Someone is wearing their ovaries on the outside– L
Bugger off – H
Come on 'Mione. Cheer up. Let's plan our sleepover. – P
Huh... fine. So, we're definitely going to Hogsmeade tomorrow... – H
Ok. Though I don't really like missing Divination – L
It's a pile of crap, Lavender – H
WHAT?! It is NOT! Divination is a great subject and-
Oh Hermione. You've started her off on Divination. She won't shut up now. – P
It is the best subject in Hogwart's. It is not a pile of crap. It is wonderful and there is so much truth in it and – GIVE ME THAT BLOODY PIECE OF PAPER BACK OTHERWISE I'LL KEEP WRITING ON THIS TABLE AND WRITE NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU! – L
Ok, ok... Jeez! – H
Oh bugger. Quick, hide the note. McGonagall is looking this way. – P
Dear Diary
I'm sat in my dormitory again. It's all hands on deck to get this sleepover planned. I hope it goes well, my first sleepover ever (Yes I know, "How is it possible in this day and age not to have been to a sleepover?" as Parvati and Lavender keep asking me).
I've been wondering what will happen after this bet is over. I mean, will Harry and Ron just let me suddenly be their friend again, or will things be different? Will I stop talking to Parvati and Lavender?
Argh! It's so frustrating!
Ron wasn't in any lessons today. I think something may have happened to Harry. I hope he's alright.
Anyway... I'm going to go to bed now. I'm bloody tired.
Love Hermione
Xxxx
Hey People
Read my Christmassy one-shot fic. It's called Perfect Christmas. Pleeasssee pulls puppy dog eyes
Have a lovely Christmas everyone
PassionFlower
xxxx
