MysticalDreamer: Alo. Time for chapter four. . It took a bit longer than I hoped to get it posted, but whateverness. Here it is.
disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. I do own an InuYasha plushie though! ::Hugs her plushie tightly::
chapter four
"Inuyasha!!"
The dog ears on the hanyou's head twitched upon hearing his name shouted. He also nearly jumped out of his skin, and pulled his hand from Kagome's. She too scooted away.
"You really did come!" shouted Sota cheerfully, skipping around and hopping to a stop in front of his idol. "This is so awesome!"
"Yeah..." was the only reply.
Kagome stifled a laugh as she rose to her feet. "You know Sota," she said to her brother, "You can't have all your friends pestering him while he's here."
He nodded. "Of course!" he said. "Inuyasha is a secret of the Higurashi shrine! I won't tell a soul!"
The so called secret of the Higurashi shrine was somewhat doubting this oath, but the time traveling miko just laughed. "We're counting on you, Sota," she said.
He saluted the two of them. "I won't let ya down!" he said, bowing his head then taking off somewhere.
"I swear, that kid is gonna kill me one day..." said Inuyasha, half to himself and half out loud to Kagome.
She laughed again and sat back down next to him. "The great Inuyasha dying of fright? Now that I'd like to see."
He grinned. "You're laughing. And not a fake laugh, either," he said. He put his hand on the ground and it landed on hers. "I wondered when I'd hear you laugh like that again."
She smiled at him. "Thank you," she whispered. He only nodded at her as a light breeze picked up and danced playfully with their hair.
Peeking out through the kitchen window, Mrs. Higurashi smiled warmly at her daughter, before turning back to cooking the meal at hand.
XD XD XD XD XD XD
Inuyasha's ear twitched. The racket from downstairs was more than he imagined. He could barely make out more than a word of what they were saying. "Is this normal?" he asked, taking a glance at Kagome.
She laughed as she fluffed a pillow carelessly, before tossing it back on her bed. "You mean the constant chatter of the midgets downstairs?" she asked.
Inuyasha could only nod.
She laughed again. "They're midgets downstairs," she said with a shrug. "All they do is talk nonstop. Even my mom has a hard time understanding them."
"Right," he said, plopping down and sitting in his usual way - cross legged with his arms crossed.
"Don't worry," she said, sitting down on her bed with a bounce. "You'll either get used to it, or just tune it out. Trust me."
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "I really don't know how you manage to live with that," he said. "I've seen and heard some annoying stuff in my time, but these 'midgets downstairs' as you've dubbed 'em are reeeeeally annoying."
"Aw, come on," laughed Kagome. "Don't say that about your follower."
"Don't remind me."
It grew quiet after that, the noise of the so called midgets downstairs slowly dissipating over time, both of them developing a deafness towards it. A light breeze danced around her room, playing with hair and loose pieces of clothing.
"Why..."
Inuyasha's ears perked up, just barely catching the word whispered from Kagome's mouth. He watched her carefully, his heart aching at the silent tears she cried; the hidden grief she kept inside. He rose to his feet silently and sat slightly behind her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.
She jumped a bit in surprise at his sudden action, but relaxed into his arms. She clutched his arms wrapped around her tightly, closing her eyes to keep in the tears. A combination of comfort and despair filled the aura of the room, both sitting in silence.
"I know I look all right," whispered Kagome softly, just loud enough for Inuyasha's ears to pick up, "But I'm not. I can't stop screaming inside. My eyes won't stop crying. If I stop, it gets too quiet. And then I am haunted..."
He tightened his embrace on her, resting his chin on her head and closing his eyes partway. She relaxed a bit more.
"All I do is smile," she continued. "Smiling, smiling, smiling. Laughing and giggling. Cheerful as ever. But what I want to do is scream. I want to scream like there's no tomorrow. I want to cry so it floods the entire world. And then, I'm empty. As I lay down and try to sleep, vacancy dances all around me."
"I hate seeing you like this," said Inuyasha, putting his head down near her own and resting his chin on her shoulder now. "All I see is this gloomy, depressed and angry aura constantly around you. I hate it."
"Inuyasha..."
He tightened his grip yet again. "I have no idea what to do," he said, "But there is one thing I know I can do. I can stay right here, and never let you go again..."
Warm water escaped Kagome's eyes, a mixture of both joy and sorrow at his words. "Oh, Inuyasha..." she whispered, whirling around and throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace. She continued to cry as he rewrapped his own arms around her back, pulling her closer.
"I will never let you go..." he whispered into her hair. She nodded into his chest, gripping his haori tightly.
"I want to forget," she said into his shirt, just loud enough for him to hear. "Let me forget. Never... mention it. Don't say anything. I want to erase it from my mind."
"Kagome...?"
She shook her head in his shirt, then looked up at him. "Please, Inuyasha," she said, staring at him with a pleading look to her eyes. "Don't ever say anything about this again. Only I will be the one to bring it up."
"Are you... sure?" he asked softly, wondering if this was the best for her.
She nodded. "I just can't deal with it," she said. "Maybe I sound like I'm wallowing in self-pity, but dammit! I know I am! I am wallowing in self-pity!"
Inuyasha could only tighten his embrace around her as she cried and cried, soaking his haori to his skin. She clutched him tightly, unwilling to let go. He remained still and silent for while. Slowly, Kagome began to drift into a deep sleep, and he dared not disturb her. God knows she needed it now.
He stared at her sleeping form. Her face slightly twisted with a mixture of agony and defeat, as well as a struggle for optimistic composure. His heart sank even more.
I am going to kill that bastard... he thought to himself. I swear I will tear that damned hanyou to pieces and slice up every last bit of him... I will avenge Kagome's suffering... Naraku will die
XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD
Kagome's eyes fluttered open and she found herself in something warm. She blinked a few times to adjust to the light of the room. She looked around, only to find herself sleeping in Inuyasha's arms. He too, had fallen asleep as well and she gave off a small laugh. She wanted to poke his ears at the moment; they were just too cute.
She relaxed a bit and leaned her head against his shoulder, vaguely wondering what he was thinking about. He barely every slept when someone else was awake. Then again, she thought, he must have fallen asleep long after I did.
Her eyes wandered to the alarm clock near her bed and she yawned. It was nearing five o'clock already. Her mother would probably serve dinner soon, as all the little friends of Sota were heading back to their own homes around seven or eight.
She poked Inuyasha in the cheek and he stirred slightly. She giggled and poked him again. This time his left ear twitched and she grinned. She was having so much fun with this!
Kagome reached up and tugged at both of this ears. This time, the hanyou's amber eyes snapped open and he stared at her, blinking a few times. He looked at her with a questioning look in his eyes.
"Good, er, afternoon?" she asked, grinning slightly.
"Feh..."
She laughed and leaned back into his shoulder. "Thanks for coming," she said softly.
"Stop thanking me," he said. "I would have came even if you didn't ask me too."
"I know that," she laughed. "You always do."
He shrugged and leaned against the wall her bed was along. "How long you gonna stay like this?" he asked.
"Why? Want me to get off?"
"I don't freak'n care," he said, averting Kagome's gaze. "But I swear to Gods if your mother walks in here and sees us, she's gonna start babbling on about who knows what for hours..."
Kagome laughed. "I suppose you're right," she said. She stumbled out of his lap and sat next to him on the bed. "Better?"
He shrugged again. "Like I said, I don't care."
She sighed. "Suuure," she said. "If you didn't care, you wouldn't be here. That's enough for me."
He felt a light heat raise from his cheeks, but he ignored it. He crossed his arms and feh'd, silence filling the room soon after.
About five minutes passed by when someone knocked at the door. "Kagome?" came the soft and calm voice of her mother. "Can I come in?"
Kagome skidded to the edge of the bed to further draw away suspicions. "Of course!" she called back. She snuck a glance at Inuyasha, only to see his eyes closed and his arms crossed in that infamous seated position of his.
The door opened and Mrs. Higurashi walked in with a smile on her face. "Dinner's ready now," she said. "Would you like to eat up here?"
She nodded. "That'd be nice," she said. She hopped to her feet and walked towards her mother. "I'll help bring it up."
Her mother nodded and walked out of the room, with Kagome at her heals. The young miko stole another glance at the hanyou sitting on her bed, only to find his eyes were still closed tightly. She felt a faint smile creeping onto her lips, and she knew this time, it wasn't forced. She skipped after her mother down the hall.
They walked into the kitchen, ignoring the chatter and babble of Sota and his friends from the living room. Kagome knew that as much as her mother loved her brother, she was dreading the cleaning patrol when the party was over.
As she put food on plates for the two of them, Kagome smiled and said, "I'll help with the clean up, Mama."
Her mother turned to her and smiled warmly. "Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure it won't be too bad."
Kagome shook her head. "I want to help. And I will," she said, determined. She knew it could also help take her mind off things, and that was something she really wanted. And at the moment, she had absolutely no idea why she was feeling so peppy. Barely a half an hour ago she was hysterical. She wondered briefly if she'd gone schizophrenic without realizing.
Mrs. Higurashi smiled. "All right then," she said. "But let's worry about that after this party is over, okay?"
"Sounds good to me," said Kagome, taking a dish from her mother. They stood in silence as the second meal was prepared, before heading back upstairs. Just outside the door, mother turned to daughter and looked her straight in the eye.
"I'm here for you," she said simply. Kagome blinked as her mother pulled open the door and walked inside, startling Inuyasha, who was poking at the radio on the desk. He leapt back onto the bed as Mrs. Higurashi placed a plate of food on the floor.
On her way out, she smiled warmly at her daughter placing one hand on her shoulder. "I love you, Kagome," she said softly, before vanishing down the hall.
Kagome stood still for a second, a faint smile twisting on her lips. She closed the door behind her and sat down, across from Inuyasha who had already started to eat his food.
He looked up at her and touched her cheek. "Why are you crying?" he asked, voice full of concern.
For the first time she entered the room, she noticed that tears were falling again. She lightly brushed some of the salty water off her face before it crept into her mouth and started to laugh a bit. Inuyasha raised a curious eyebrow.
"She won't say anything... She won't bug me... But deep down, she knows something is wrong..." she whispered.
Inuyasha forgot there was food in front of him and stared at her, wondering what she was talking about.
"Oh, mama..." she whispered. "Thank you so much..."
Inuyasha hopped to his feet and appeared behind her, wrapping his arms around her slender figure. He understood now, what she had been talking about. The fact that her mother was so aware of Kagome's true emotions cheered Inuyasha up a bit as well, knowing that someone else would be there for Kagome if for some reason, he couldn't. "Your mother loves you so much," he said softly. "Keep that in mind, and it will chase everything away. I promise."
She nodded and felt a smile forming on her face. "It'll be all right," she said, resting her hands on his arms. "Time doesn't stop..."
"No. It doesn't."
"I won't let it tear me apart anymore."
"Neither will I."
"It's just another reason he has to die."
"Damn straight."
"I'm not gonna let it run my life."
"You better not."
She turned around and faced him, looking at him with yearning in her eyes. "But you won't let me be alone, will you?"
"How many times do I have to tell you?" he asked, shaking his head. "I'll always be here. Never doubt that."
She smiled and leaned in closer, hugging him tightly. And without hesitation, he hugged her back.
The food on the floor lay forgotten.
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Kagome went to sleep that night, after all the little "midgets downstairs" had left and gone home, Inuyasha sitting on the floor right near her. She fell into a light slumber, waking up whenever a car went by or a dog barked. And each time Inuyasha leaped to his feet, alarmed at her shock. Eventually, she fell into a solid slumber and didn't wake up again. But even that didn't stop the hanyou from watching over her with an unblinking eye. It was another night he had gone without sleep.
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"Are you sure?" asked Inuyasha, squatting on the edge of the well, staring at Kagome curiously.
She nodded. "I'm just going to stay a bit longer," she said, folding her hands. "Don't worry, I'm fine! I just want to talk to my mom a bit. Who knows when I'll come back here again."
He nodded slowly. "Okay," he grumbled. "I'll be waiting."
She smiled in a far off sort of way. He lightly tapped her head and jumped into the well, leaving her standing there.
She sighed and turned on her heels, walking up the stairs one at a time, her smile going away bit by bit. She opened the door and stepped out in a cool breeze. It danced with her hair and clothes, making her feel like she was in some old movie or television show.
She whirled around the yard, her feet stepping on the occasional twig or leaf. She passed the main shrine and stopped to say a short prayer. She put her palms together in front of her face; the tips of her middle and index fingers brushing against her chin. She bowed her head and hopped off, playing a mini game of hopscotch on invisible numbers.
Another breeze picked up as she reached the top of the stairs. She looked to the city below and took in a deep breath of hair. She twirled again and spun around back towards her house, looking up at the clear skies. She caught a glance of a bird before closing her eyes.
She pulled open the door to her home with a careless tug and walked inside. She ran a hand over everything she passed, watching what she touched intently. She climbed the stairs, dragging her hands along the railing on either side, kicking off her slippers to let her bare feet touch the soft rug.
She went inside her room and flopped on her bed, hugging her pillow in a seated position. She gently put it back down on in its place and stood up, walking towards her dresser. With her index finger, she traced along the outline of each of her friends in a photograph, ignoring the image of herself. They were all smiling cheerfully in their matching uniforms from junior high; the backdrop of Kyoto towering over them in an almost protective sort of way.
She pulled open the door to her closet and pulled out her favorite clothes - a form fitting evergreen shirt, three quarter-sleeved with an embroidered rose right below the collar and a black skirt, that reached just below her knees with a lacy trim along the hem. She stripped off the jeans and sweatshirt she had tossed on and pulled on the other clothes. She glanced at herself in the mirror.
Normally she would have smiled. She loved the way the outfit looked on her. She only wore in once in a while, on special occasions. Surely this was a special occasion.
Kagome took a long look around her room and nodded at it, walking out and closing the door behind her. She leaned against the closed door and sighed. She pushed herself off and walked down the hall for the bathroom.
Back in the Sengoku-jidai, Inuyasha had starting tapping his fingers on the well. He looked back down in for the hundredth time. "Where the hell is she?" he asked out loud.
"Inuyasha!"
He turned to see Miroku, Sango and Shippo walking towards him. He nodded a brief hello before looking back into the well.
"Staring isn't going to make her come back any faster," said Miroku, taking a glance of his own in the well. "Unless she's in there and refuses to come out?"
"No," replied the hanyou, crossing his arms and sitting down.
Sango sighed and folded her hands behind her back. "We know that something is wrong with Kagome," she said, "But we're not going to ask about it. We trust her judgment."
Inuyasha nodded. He really wasn't in the mood. How long did it take for her to talk to her mother anyway? They wouldn't talk for a half an hour would they? Kagome had said it would only take a little bit before she followed him and returned to his era.
"Where is she then?" asked Miroku.
"Talking to her mother," he snapped in his usual tone.
"Ahh, that could take a while then," said Miroku, taking a seat next to him.
"Feh."
Inuyasha closed his eyes. Maybe it would take a while. Kagome really didn't see her mother that often, so when they got together they could talk for a while. Especially since her mother was usually out of the house.
Wait a minute, he thought, his eyes opening, Kagome's mother left early in the morning... She was takin' that old man to some shrine or something and wouldn't be back till the evening... Kagome...?
"What the hell did she say that for?" he asked out loud.
"Eh? Inuyasha?" asked Miroku. "Something bothering you?"
He hopped to his feet and looked back down into the well, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
In her own era, Kagome had locked the bathroom door and was staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had turned on the water in the shower, making sure it was hot so it steamed up the bathroom. She opened the cabinet and dug around in containers and cups, searching between band-aids and peroxide for an unknown object.
She found it and clutched it tightly, closing the cabinet gently. She looked back to her reflection, but couldn't see it anymore. The steam had fogged up the mirror. She raised her right index finger and wrote something on the fogged up mirror, slowly but surely. She stared at it and hoped it wouldn't go away for a while.
Her eyes watered up and a single tear fell down her face - ice cold in comparison to the room she was standing it. She started to shiver despite the warmth. Another tear escaped her eye, this one falling completely off her face and splattering on the tiled floor. The water from the shower continued on, simply a faint noise in the background to her mind. A third tear fell, this one slow as it made its way down her cheek, inching along as if it didn't want to go anywhere.
She turned around and drew in her breath. "I'm sorry Inuyasha..." she whispered. "I could never tell you I loved you..."
She closed her eyes as she brought the blade to her wrist and sliced.
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MD: to be continued... I ish so evil. XD Chapter five is already about halfway done though. Maybe a third done. I duno. But it is. I'm hoping to get it finished by Thanksgiving... that seems kinda far doesn't it? ::shifty eyes::
Thanks to all who reviewed! I love you all!
