New Chapter! Woooohooooo. Ahem. I won't rant about reviews anymore since I am on vacation at the moment and can't upload chapters. I'll have to see how much I can write. I'll complain about no reviews AFTER I upload the new story arc -. Disclaimer. I own nothing on Inuyasha, you own nothing on Inuyasha, WE HAVE NOTHING AND LIKE IT!
The walk to the village was silent and uneventful. Man, I felt awkward! Here is the woman I love walking right next to me and I can't say anything since she doesn't know me and I don't want her thinking I'm obsessed with her like everyone else in her life. Well, obsessed in a bad way. Damn, why is my life so complicated?
We got the village and she looked around in awe. Well, at least I got to show her my village, the village I really built for her. A few demons and humans stopped to say hello to me and ask who the new visitor was. I downplayed things as best I could. Of course things had to get shot to hell.
"Lady Kikyo!" Nena was running faster than a woman pushing her years should be able to. She took Kikyo's hand and had a few tears running down her eyes. "Lady Kikyo…how is this possible? You died! I know you did. There's no way you would let Tomasaru run himself into the ground like he's been doing for years!" Nena, shuuuuuut uuuuuuup! I grit out "Nena, control yourself! Kikyo….doesnt remember you. She doesn't remember me. Everything from the time the jewel was stolen is a blank for her."
She looked at me with horror lining her features. Yeah, she knew what that meant. Kikyo simply looked at our glances then back at the woman holding her hand. "So I know you as well?" Nena nodded. "Yes, you and Tomasaru, as well as a Miroku and Kohaku saved me when my village was destroyed by Naraku. The demon who slaughtered my village." Kikyo looked blankly ahead. "I did, did I?"
OK, I know that voice. Kikyo thinks this is a set up. A big fat set up. I have to move quick. Any kind of pressure on Kikyo and I know the arrows are going to start flying. "Well, enough on the past she can't even remember. She needs a place to stay for a while until she decides what to do." Nena make an agreeing noise as she looked at me. Kikyo then took her hand back and excused herself to go exploring the village. As she walked away I couldn't help but watch her. Nena noticed this. "So I take it you'll be staying for a while Mog-chan?" I was about to say yes, well more like shout it when I had a thought that sent a shiver down my spine. If I stayed I would look at her more. I might say something or do something that could push her off the deep end. She is a very solitary person, at least the old her was.
I shook my head sadly. "I can't." Nena looked surprised and outrages. "Kami Tomas, what is WRONG with you? You've been in mourning for decades and when the woman you love actually come back from the dead you STILL won't stay in one place long enough to enjoy it?" I turn my angry gaze to her and she looks startled. I've only been angry with her a short few times. "Damn it I want that TOO much! Can't you understand? To that woman I am a stranger. Worse a stranger that might feel she owes them a debt. If I stay, if she sees the way I look at her she might just decide to repay it in a way only a lowlife would take. If she offered, oh Nena, if she offered I don't think I COULD refuse! Then whatever good we've had, all the memories of friendship and trust will utterly be destroyed. I HAVE to leave. I can't trust myself around her. Especially now that I know more about her then she's let anyone know before."
She just shook her head. "Let her get to know you then. Just dropping her off here like some kind of package and leaving the village like a pack of demons is on your heels is not a way to earn her trust either!" I shake my head. "I'll stay for a few days, then I'll go. I still have pieces of the jewel to find. Try not to tell her about that either. If she asks about the jewel tell her, don't lie. I don't want to burden her with this. I told her she was free and I'll do what I can to keep her that way."
Nena smiled at me the way she used to as a child. "Mog-chan, you're hopeless!". I give her my best grin. "You know it!"
I lasted three days. After that I HAD to leave. Watching her in the fields or caring for the children, even the demon and hanyou ones, my heart was just bursting out of my chest. It took more effort than I thought possible to stop myself from putting a hand on her shoulder or hugging her from behind. Giving her a quick kiss or a intimate look. I had to leave before I caved in. I told Nena to tell everyone I had to leave and help someone. At least my lifestyle makes such a weak sounding excuse plausible. Only Nena and probably Kikyo knows the true reason. I really want to kill something!
As if the Kamis themselves heard me the ground shook. I leapt and the ground beneath me grew and snapped as if attempting to devour me. A head forms from the dirt and soil. It looks like a dirt dragon…or worm…or snake….well whatever it is, it tried to kill me so its fair game! I grab the hilt of my sword and draw it in a quick motion. I send a small wave of cutting air pressure which splashes harmlessly off its thick hide. Well, it is more durable than the other demons I fight. I grab the hilt of my sword with both hands and place the blade straight in front of me. I blur and immediately move the sword to my side in a two handed grip. I cut open the beast as quickly as my skills allow. To the casual onlooker it would look like I blurred and appeared on the opposite side of the earth beast. It lets out a confused sound before it collapsed in a heap of cut pieces of dirt. I sheath my sword. Damn, too easy.
I leap out of the way of a dirt tail that tried to flatten me. I look back to see the demon pull itself together. Hmm, nothing could have lived through that last attack. Using a skill I taught myself I look at the lines of power of the demon. All living things have power. It what keeps people alive. The dimmer the power, the weaker the person. Even the walking dead must be powered by something. I look at the creature and I smile. A jewel fragment. Now I can't see the jewel like Kagome and Kikyo can. It's more of a deduction of where the jewel is than actually seeing it. As I said all living things have power inside them. The jewel is an outside power source, totally different than a creature's natural power. I see the lines of energy empowering the creature. Where those lines are is where….THERE! I blur and dig my claws deep and pull out the fragment. I jump away to watch the demon turn to dust. I look at the jewel in disgust.
That's the other thing it seems with the jewel. It will grant you power, but your natural power will grow dependent on it. So if the jewel is removed your body won't remember how to use its energy anymore and collapse. At least that's true for the weak, stupid demons. The smarter ones manage their energy wiser and use the jewel as a supplement to their own power, not a replacement. I put the jewel shard in a pouch. I don't want to be touching that thing for too long.
Hmm, I seem to be a demon magnet. I've been attacked about three times the past day. Usually demons are a lot quieter around me. Keeps them alive longer. Huh, I see a humanoid demon. Those are the real powerhouses of demons. Forget the ones that are big as houses. He smaller, human ones have power and know how to use it. It has silver hair down to its shoulders and deep blue eyes. It smiles and attacks me. Hmm, uses a sword too. Well, its his funeral. I unsheathe my blade and lock swords with him. Why is he smil…..AHHHHH!
I jump away smoking slightly. I see his blade wreathed in electrical energy. Damn, it went through my sword like it was normal metal. It struck with that I'm ashes. I unleash a Kuu Ha Zan. I think putting a little distance between us is prudent. He smiles and blasts through my wind attack with a lightning bolt that….crap! I put my sword in front of me and hastily create a barrier. His attack blew me right off my feet and through my barrier. It soaked up a lot of the power but I still felt like I took a five minute seat in the electric chair. Damn. "Who are you?" I demanded.
He just smiled at me. "My master wishes your death, nothing personal" He flings another bolt at me but I have the time not to evade. Crap. Time for the big guns. I center my energy and his. "Wind Scar!" I cry. He just places his sword out in front of him and it glows with energy. As the power wave hits his sword it parts. Leaving him unscathed and the area around him demolished. Shit, he's good….
He smiles and blurs. Reacting out of instinct I duck and swing my sword. We clash blades again. As he smiles I kick him right in the chin and roll away as his power burns away the nearby vicinity. I need to hit and run with this guy. If I stay in one spot for even more than a second he'll flash fry me. He closes in on me again as I think about how I can kill this guy. Decapitation works for pretty much anyone but I don't know how I can get him into that position. Damn, I need to make that position….wait. I got it.
Just then he flashes with power and I can see the sky turn black. It starts crackling and…."Oh SHIT!" I dive to the side as a huge bolt of lightning crashes to my position. I am not quite as quick as lightning so I take most of the impact. I might have blacked out in pain for a second or so during my electrocution. I struggle to move my limbs as the torrents of power made them feel as weak as noodles. I can blurrily see the demon approach me. Damn it….I can't die yet. I can see it smile as the wind blows its hair into its face. I….can't fail. His sword lifts to take its death stroke. Kikyo….her name gives me a surge of strength as I block a blow that would have cut through my heart. "I….will LIVE!" I push him away before he can really use his power to shock me through his sword again. I'm in a frenzy. Kikyo is here. If I die she could still fall into hell. I have to live, just so that I can see her on the right path.
I look at him with murder in my eyes. I won't let this….NOBODY kill me. I sheath my sword and look at him. Its time for the final attack of the Hiten Mitsurugi. I run at him and blur. In this instant I unsheathe my sword going faster than the Godlike speed Hiten Mitsurugi masters train to attain. I appear at the other side of the demon. He looks at me and laughs. "You missed" he taunted. Gasping for breath I walk away from him. "I don't talk with the dead." His laughing stops as his head rolls away from his neck and he turns to dust. I should be worried about his master but right now my body needs rest. I'm about a week away from Outkast and no other villages will take me in. Damn Ancient Japanese are bigoted, racist ass….damn my ribs. Kaede's village is closer, but if Kagome isn't there I doubt I would be welcome. Well, four days in this condition is better than a week in the other direction. I hobble for Kaede's village.
I gasp as I release another Wind Scar and destroy a few more demons. They are coming out of the woodworks! Every time I kill some they wait a few hours or so then attack again. Demons like these aren't THAT smart. They usually just all charge like mindless beasts. They are wearing me down slowly but surely. They are not allowing me time to rest or to tend my wounds. I am using my sword as a walking stick. I don't know if I'm going to make it. I've got a bad wound on my left shoulder and a nasty bite on my right leg not to mention all the small deep cuts all over my body. My kimono is in taters and whatever blue that's left have been long since stained red with my blood. A hanyou might be tougher than humans but we need rest to recover from our wounds, especially ones this bad. Ah crap. Another wave…..
"I….can….smell….village." I move with bloody single-mindedness. One step. One step…keep stepping. My blood drips in a steady stream and my vision become like a tunnel…an hour ago, hours…I have to walk to the smell. Keep walking. Anything that smells bad I kill. Walk….must walk. I reach the entrance of the village and I can hear whispers. Can't really….under…stand. I drop to one knee and I see…..Kikyo….am…I…dead…yet..?
I wake up in a soft bed. I look down and see that my wounds have been bandaged. I can't…remember much. After a day or two traveling I stopped remembering. My mind may have shut down to get my body here. I look around and see someone sleeping in the corner. Kagome? Probably is. Kami knows no one else in the village would help me! The corner is shadowed. I can't tell who it is and my senses are all screwed up. The person in the corner comments. "You are awake." I stiffen. It…can't be.
Kikyo steps into the light. She still looks indifferent but she has bags under her eyes. Probably from looking after me. "How…how long have I been here?" I wanted to ask how long she has but I don't want to piss her off while I am immobile in bed.
"You have been asleep for close to four days." I didn't really feel shocked. I got my ass kicked enough to know I would be out for a while after what I went through. "You….took care of me?" She nodded her head. "I went to visit Kaede as you suggested. After two days you showed up at the village in I smiled at her. "Thanks, its been a while since you've helped me through a beating like that." She merely nodded. "I am surprised though." Kikyo looked on with interest. "At what?"
"Well, coming her was a long shot. I figured if Kagome were here she could keep Kaede from finishing me off. But you were here. I'll also bet you kept her from killing me. So I was a bit surprised to be waking up at all" She shook her head. From what I don't know. "Kaede told me. Everything. At least from her point of view. It does validate some of your claims but raises more than a few questions." I look at her. I try not to let anything leak out of my expression but I don't know how successful I was. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know."
She looked at me evenly and pulled a chair up. Oh god, this is bringing up some very….I wouldn't say BAD but more like inappropriate memories. "Tell me everything! I want to know of this whole life that I seem to have forgotten. I want the WHOLE truth. Leave nothing out." I look at her. I desperately want to tell her but…."Can you tell me what you DO know? I'll tell you if its true or not." She didn't budge an inch. "Everything, now!" Crap, she used "the voice"!
So I talked. And talked. About our first meeting, how I tied her up at the village. Miroku, Kohaku, the chase for the jewel, tengues, Kamis, the final battle with naraku, EVERYTHING….except us. I don't want to get into that and we really don't need to. Besides, I promised her a normal life. A happy life. My life is neither normal or very happy.
She looked at me when I finished. "That is all?" I…look away. "All that matters now." Kikyo spoke after a minute. "They were right." I look at her in puzzlement. "Who was?" She smiled. It wasn't the smile I used to get from her but it was….a lighter smile. "I had a long talk with Nena. And from that talk I decided to confront Kaede to see if it was true." I gulp. "Wha…What talk? And what is true?"
She got comfortable. "You see after you left the village…."
Kikyo worked the fields. She seemed oddly satisfied with the labor. Tomasaru left a day ago and yet the village still spoke of him with high regard. That said something of the type of person he was. Either that or people were afraid to insult him even without his presence around. Kikyo decided to get some answers about her mysterious benefactor. She was surprised to learn that most of the villagers knew her. Well at least knew OF her. Apparently her exploits and that of the hanyou were near legendary. She went to the head of the village to seek her answers.
The woman, Nena, looked to be a wise woman. Kikyo got comfortable and asked "If it is all right with you, may I ask a few questions? I am still curious of my supposed life after sealing Inuyasha." Nena nodded. In truth she expected it. "Go ahead my dear. You and your friends saved my life, the least I could do is answer a few questions." So Kikyo asked about her life and her companions and Nena answered. Kikyo also noticed that the answers about Tomasaru were….hesitant. As if she had to think about how much to tell her.
"Can you tell me what sort of relationship I seem to have had with Tomasaru?" Nena looked like she was a dear in the path of a wolf. Straightening she replied "You two had a…..complex relationship. Mostly due to your relationship with Inuyasha." Kikyo nodded her head. "Yet that still does not explain just WHAT the relationship was. Though I do not know my feelings, I do think, perhaps, you know his. Will you tell me?"
Nena sighed. Tomasaru told her NOT to lie to Kikyo if this ever came up. Seems to come up sooner than anticipated. "He loved you….no LOVES you." Kikyo's lip curled in disgust as she muttered "I thought so." She made to get up but Nena stood up in anger and said "SIT!" As if she wore the rosary Kikyo's legs went numb and she sat back down at this surprising outburst.
"I KNOW you are having a tough time. You lost more than a year of memories. But DO NOT think ill of Tomasaru for how he feels. You think he's in it just to possess you or have your body than you are a fool! Let me tell you about the man you just thought was nothing more than a male pig! That man was at your side through thick and thin for a year. That man fought in a battle he should have lost for you. That man, at your request, took your body WITH the Shikon no Tama to be burned as you asked of him. That man, wracked with guilt traveled for over fifty years to atone for not being able to save you! You haven't seen him as I have. You have but you cannot remember. The man ran himself into the ground….for decades….STRAIGHT decades! Ask any in the village how long he stays when he returns. The most is a week! He kills himself day after day, FOR YOU! And you have the……NERVE to think he just wants a trophy or something? He even LEFT for you! He said he could not trust himself around you, that you are not mentally prepared for knowing how he felt. And he was RIGHT!"
Nena was crying midway through her speech. Even Kikyo could feel the raw sincerity coming off the elderly woman. She bowed. "I meant no disrespect elder" Nena just looked at her through teary eyes. "Now you know the truth. If you do not believe me, ask some of the villagers. They don't know everything about him. If you still stubbornly believe the worst in him go to your sister. Even though she hates him she will tell you the truth!" Kikyo nodded and left. A day later she traveled to meet her sister.
Kikyo entered the village. So looked nostalgic as she traveled the well worn roads. After asking a few villagers she found her sisters house. Entering she was met with the sight of her elderly younger sister. "Hello Kaede, I hope you are well?" Kaede just sighed. "Hello elder sister. Why are ye here? Ye know thou aren't truly human anymore."
Shaking her head Kikyo replied "Things change. I AM human now. I am here to ask you about the reason I am human once again." Kaede looked shocked. "Human again, how can this be? I know of nothing short of the divine that could accomplish this." Kikyo took a seat opposite of her sister. "The divine did play a part of it. I am here to ask about the person who set all of this into motion. His name is Tomasaru."
Kaede looked on in a bit of anger. "Ah, HIM. Why am I now surprised he was involved….that hanyou….he was able to make you human again when he failed to prevent your death all those years ago?" Kikyo just stared at her sister. Nena spoke the truth, Kaede DID hate Tomasaru. "Why do you hate him so?" Kaede's eye's flashed. "He be the reason you died. Said he'd protect yet in the moment of truth he failed. He traveled all over Japan helping and fighting for others yet he could not save the one person he claimed to love. He is nothing but a hypocrite!"
Kikyo felt something about those words. Perhaps anger but she did feel a burning sensation within her. "Is that so? So you believe his intentions are not honorable?" Kaede snorted. "I believe he wanted YOU. That is all I can tell of him. As for honor, though I hate him and think he be just another monster, he has honor. Simply bringing back the jewel and your body at your request was proof enough of that. I also have not heard a single rumor that he lies. Mind you I hear many worse rumors, though none accusing him of THAT." Kikyo just nodded her head. All these things she's heard. Something inside her is screaming at some of them as true while others not.
"…so I thought about what was said for a few days when you stumbled into town barely together and not all coherent."
I looked at her. Well, she got the story from Nena, and got another from Kaede. But one thing still bothers me. "What did you mean when you said you thought so? What did you think?"
She smiled at me. It wasn't a full smile yet, she still had her defenses up. "That you would not tell me of our relationship. You would not try to rekindle it or take advantage of it. Now I want to know, from you, no avoiding the question. What WAS our relationship?" God, how can I tell her? Damn it. I can't, I won't lie to her….why does it have to be so damn HARD?
I look into my lap. "I love you, of that I haven't a shred of doubt. I think you loved me. You never really said it though. We never….we never were intimate. We could have been, but I stopped us. I wanted you to talk to Inuyasha, get your head straight. We couldn't have betrayed him like that. I know I couldn't. We did sleep in each other's arms. We'd hold hands and knew each other well." Her expression betrayed nothing. Damn it, after all we've been through its back to square one!
"How did you come into such a state? I have heard that you are a master swordsman and a great warrior. How did you become so injured?" I looked at her, startled she cared to ask how I got hurt. I shrug. "I found a jewel shard, had a duel with a powerful demon, and was basically stalked all the way here. I'd be attacked every hour or every few minutes. Never given time to heal or recover. It took all I had to get here. I hope the demons haven't followed me here." Kikyo shook her head. "No, no demons. But why come here? You could have brought them down on to the villagers."
"Nah, no way. These things were pretty weak. Even the villagers wouldn't have a problem fighting them. Also even if Kagome and Inuyasha weren't here, Kaede is one tough woman. She'd have been able to take care of any demons. Hell, she almost got me a few times." Kikyo smiled at that. I hope it's the thought that I had so much faith in Kaede and not that she almost killed me. "What do you plan on doing?"
I shrug, wincing at the slight pain in my left shoulder. Damn, I got banged up! "I either give Kaede my jewel shard or give them to Kagome. Or I'll just find some more." Kikyo was looking at me with an unreadable expression. "After you heal your wounds, correct?" I decided shrugging hurt too much and answer. "I'll leave when I feel I can fight, which will be in about another day. Most of the dangerous injuries should be gone. I have to get as many of those jewel fragments as possible to get it together. It's easier guarding the whole piece than a hundred of them!" Kikyo looked to have her expressionless pissed face on. I can tell by her eyes. They are more expressive than she'd like.
"You will stay here until fully healed. I will not have all my efforts wasted if you die from fatigue by your injuries." I give her a winning smile "Don't worry, I've been in worse situations than this!" Kikyo looked like she was just slapped. "Uhh, you ok Kikyo?" Kikyo looked pale. "Wha…What did you say?" I rethought over what I said. "Uhm, I've been in worse situations than this, why?"
Kikyo seemed to be shivering a bit. "I…I thought I heard that somewhere before. It must have been nothing. A flash or something" I looked at her in interest. "Please, tell me. I won't judge, I'm just curious." She looked at me in anger leaned over and grabbed my right ear. Twisting it as she yelled down "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS TOMASARU!" I yell and have tears of pain running down my cheeks. "OOOOWWWWWW, I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRY!"
Her cried and mine seem to have attracted some visitors. I see Kagome and Inuyasha looking at the scene in shock through the tears in my eyes. Kikyo looks at her hand that has a whole lot of my ear and lets go like she touched hot iron. I look at her through bleary eyes. "Of all the things you had to remember, it HAD to be the using my ear as a bow string?" She looked like she was going into shock. She was looking at me then her hand like it did something she never thought possible. I hear a strange male voice "Is everything all right in here? May we offer assistance?" I look at the owner of the voice and gasp in shock. In total reflex I blurt out "Miroku?" He's a lot paler that his great grandfather and no beard of course but I can see a striking resemblance. Kikyo looked at the monk with almost recognition on her face.
"I..I must go!" She ran out of the house and Inuyasha was close at her heels. Kami, what a damn day. I notice Kagome and Miroku looking at me. "How is it you know my name?" I smile at him. "You look a lot like your ancestor, also name Miroku" Miroku looked up in shock at me "Tomasaru, that's what she yelled...YOU are the hanyou that my grandfather knew?" I smile smugly. "Yup!" Miroku gets a look in his eyes that his ancestor had. The one that always got me in trouble. Nonchalantly he spoke "My family spoke of a name that a child of a village gave you…" I pale. Oh gods! Miroku, even from the grave you do this to me? "You say that name and by all gods I'll tear you up. Me and your great grandfather fought together, I don't have any such ties to you!" While yelling I notice his right hand is bound.
"What's the deal with your hand? Did his line all decide to wear rosaries as a sign of Naraku's curse?" He looked up in shock. "You know of how to get rid of the wind tunnel?" I blink. "What do you mean get rid of it? You don't even have it! When me and your ancestor killed off Naraku the curse on his line was lifted!" Miroku looked grim. "A little while after the jewel was shattered my father, grandfather and myself's right hand opened up. We all had wind tunnels. My grandfather and father are too old for traveling so I was sent to find out how we were cursed with our great grandfather's almost fate."
I frowned. "This makes absolutely NO sense! The only way that would happen is if….." My eyes widened with horror as I came to a realization I prayed was wrong but knew deep down it wasn't. The Kami's word still rang in my head when I argued for Kikyo's new chance in life. "Fate and destiny…." I mutter. Miroku seemed to be on the verge of hauling me out of bed "Who is responsible? WHO?" I look sadly at him. "Naraku."
He frowned. "I thought you killed him." I answered "So did I, but it's the only explanation I can think of. He can be the only reason the wind tunnels are active again." I frown as I remember the Kami's words. Everyone's fate was set. If it was Naraku's fate to spread misery and darkness then they brought him back to do just that….
Damn it! I don't care how he was brought back, I'm sending him back to hell. In as many pieces as I can! I struggle to get up when Kagome pushed me back down. Damn, I must be weak if Kagome can push me around. "You and your brother as soooo alike sometimes. Will it kill you to let your injuries heal?" I clutch my poor ear wounded in Kikyo's assault. "Well if they don't our nurses usually try to finish the job…"
Kagome looked a bit outraged while Miroku looked amused. "Is there a reason Lady Kikyo was so…..upset?" Yeah, that's putting it mildly monk. Kagome piped in "Yeah, I've never seen her so angry before."
I smile. "You obviously haven't been around Kikyo long enough. She can have a temper to rival any demon!" Kagome looked thoughtful while Miroku just nodded. "I was told stories about your adventures. It has been passed on through our families. I take it you took Lady Kikyo to see the Kami?" I nodded. It seems smarts were inherent in Miroku's line. Kagome's eyebrow twitched. I am treated to the sight of her doing a 180 open palm slap straight from the hip right into the monk's face. She turns back to me face bright red and eyes smoldering in anger. I guess he inherited some other quirks from his line….
"So you know a GOD? Wow, so what's he like, or she, or does it even look human, or…" I raise my hands. "Whoa, one thing at a time. He's a he. He looks like an old man. Yes I know him, yes I took Kikyo there and he gave her a human body and made her soul permanent. So your soul is yours and hers is hers. Oh, by the way, here." I toss her a fragment of the jewel I had. "There, hold on to it. When I get more I'll give it to you." Kagome looked at it. "Shouldn't you give it to Kikyo, I mean its her jewel and all."
I shake my head. "Its yours now. And truthfully, I'd rather you hold onto it. Kikyo deserves a break. Hell, she DIED for this damn jewel. Let her rest." Kagome hold the fragment to her chest. "What about you?" I learned not to shrug so I just look at her. "I've been fighting….for a long time. What's a few more?" I give her a weak smile. In truth I'm damn tired. I don't want to fight anymore. I used to enjoy it. The thrill, the rush. Facing opponents that were my better on so many levels but finding a way to win. Now though, now I just want to stop. I just want to stay in one place. I want to train others and just enjoy life instead of fighting for it. I can't though. I made a promise. I HAVE to keep it. And…..I'm going to fuck fate up! The people around me are going to live. Not only that they are going to live full and happy lives no matter what destiny plans for them.
I smell Kikyo….and Inuyasha. Kikyo enters the house first followed by my brother. They both look guilty. Well Kikyo looks guilty. Inuyasha looks angry at me and a bit of guilt is in there. Well, I'm too tired to care about this right now! "Have a nice chat you two?" They both looked at eachother. "It was…." Inuyasha cut in "..NONE of your business!" I just nod. Whatever Yasha.
Kikyo looked at me in worry. "Are you alright Tomasaru?" I look at her and give a bitter bark of laughter. "Alright, of COURSE I am. I've never felt better! Really!" I sigh. "Please, just get out. All of you. I'm tired. I've been chopped up, electrocuted, bitten, smashed, bruised, torn into, and generally mangled. I've also had what's left of my heart and pride take a headfirst dive into a pile of dragon crap. Please leave me be!" I get back onto a more comfortable position on the pillow and turn away from them. Damn it I am really screwed up both mentally and physically. I don't NEED this crap!
I wake up. It's evening and I am alone. Thank the Kami! But something woke me up. I hear a crash. That would probably be it. I go outside and see Inuyasha with the Teisaiga drawn fighting a man with golden hair wielding a pole arm. He seems to fire off blades of light that cut through things. Kikyo is evacuating the Villagers while Kagome is looking at Inuyasha in worry. I see Miroku a little next to Kagome on the ground. From his scent I'd say he's wounded pretty bad by the scent of blood. Great. Another battle. Gods, I want it to end…
I go back into the house and grab my sword. Inuyasha seems to be swinging his sword around like a club. I doubt he knows yet of the wind scar. I concentrate and fire off one. I hope he can duplicate it some day. The demon just evades the blast. Unfortunately the forest behind him didn't. Damn, I hate destroying the forest. The demon just smiled at me. "Hmm, you're the one that took out my predecessor? You don't seem like much" I smirk at him. "You interrupted my beauty sleep." He laughed at that. "Don't worry, you'll sleep for eternity!" The sad part is that is sounding rather good at the moment. He lashes at Inuyasha in a dismissive gesture knocking him off his feet and threw a few trees.
He thrusts his pole arm out and a burst of light blasts forward. I stumble out of the way. Damn, my wounds aren't healed yet…I look at my opponent….where did he…I look at my chest…a bloody blade is sticking out. How did he get behind…me….He pulls the blade out and I grunt in agony as I fall to my knees. I hear people crying my name. I turn slowly to face the demon. His silver eyes flash hungrily, eagerly awaiting my death. My death….would dying be so bad? Haven't I suffered enough? I look at his eyes, my sword lowers. I hear screaming. Would it be so wrong to give up now? I did what I promised. Kikyo doesn't seem to be falling into darkness. Inuyasha is awake now. He can handle things. His pole arm is swinging closer to me. I hear a teary voice "Don't die!" A voice that I could never refuse….damn it. So close….I roll forward underneath the swing and impale the demon in the waist with my blade. I turn it upwards and jump. After cutting him almost in half I gather my energy and cry out "Backlash Wave!" The golden tornado energy ripped him open and scattered his remains into the dust.
I fall to the ground in a heap. I couldn't….even land on my feet. I can hear so many voices, they are so garbled. Someone put my head in their lap…Kikyo…"Is…this just….a…memory..?" I mutter to her before I pass out yet again.
My eyelids are heavy. Man, I am getting tired of being used as a chew toy and pin cushion. I was almost….damn. I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I never thought myself suicidal but after all the years, all the wounds, all the pain, and really nothing much good in my life could I really be blamed? I notice a woman in a chair sitting right next to my bedside. My heart aches. Why does she have to be here? Doesn't she know that her presence just twists a knife deeper into my heart? "Hey Kikyo…you don't look too comfy there" My voice jars her awake. She looks at me. I can see raw emotion in her eyes. Her hand flashes. SLAP! I hold my stinging cheek and look at her teary face in a bit of shock. Why the hell did she DO that?
My eyes flash. "Why the HELL did you do THAT? If that's the thanks I get for saving this stupid village then I'll let the place get leveled!" She looks at me defiantly if a bit sadly. "You were going to let that demon kill you, weren't you?" I try to keep eye contact, but I couldn't and turned to stare at the opposite wall. "What do you care? It's my life. How I choose to live it, or end it, is none of your business! I didn't let myself die since I don't think spirits can be in THIS much pain so why are YOU so pissed?" I was a bit angry myself. Damn it I don't have anything I want to stay in this life for. I did all I had to do. What more do people WANT from me?
She looked at me sadly. "You almost died." I look up at her in surprise. "Again, why do you care? I know you are not….the Kikyo I knew. You don't remember a thing about me. You don't remember…" How I feel for you. Damn, I should have let that damn pole arm gut me. It'd be less painful than having THIS happen!
She just looked at me. Damn it Kikyo, stop looking at me with those sad eyes. "I….remember some." I can feel my eyes widen and my heart quicken. "Y..You remember?" She shook her head. "Not everything, but some. I remember a battle with many….Narakus. I remember how you cut through them to get to me. I remember how we broke the real ones barrier. I just want to know something?" I feel my heart soaring. She remembers. She wants to know something, probably about US! This might work. Maybe I'm finally catching a break! "Anything" I tell her. She looks at me with an unreadable expression. "Why did I call you Mog-san?" I facefault. Damn it haven't I gotten the piss beat out of me enough!
I hear a chuckling. I look up from my angry internal dialogue to see Kikyo…smiling. Not only that but she's laughing. Nothing sinister, just a light, heartfelt laugh. I smile despite myself. She has a wonderful laugh. I playfully pout. I'm getting in a better mood. "Yeah yeah, figures you'd remember something like THAT!" She just smiles at me a bit more. She leans in and I gulp. "I also remember something….." I lick my suddenly dry lips. Come on Kikyo, I'm injured here….Her hand brushes along my right ear. I freeze in stark terror. I look up at her with a fear stricken gaze. She smiles down at my reaction. "Not THAT you big baby!" She then lightly scratches it. Oh GODS. She remembered THAT spot. I lean into her hand and my eyes close reflexively. After that night at Totosei's she'd get into rubbing my ears a lot. I couldn't help but whimper in a low voice filled with emotion. "I missed you so much…."
I felt her stop so I opened my eyes to look at her. She looked at me with a….I don't know what to say was on her face. It was a mix of happiness, fondness, and even sadness. She is such a COMPLEX person. "I know. With my memories and all that I've been told I must ask you something." I was feeling relaxed and surprisingly good. The tightness and sense of loss I had for….well since Kikyo died is gone. I feel like a new hanyou! I nod at her in a happy, content way. She smiled again only this one was one that I knew was bad. The ear that she petted with such affection was placed back in a tight, unmerciful grip.
"What in all HELLS were you THINKING?" My eyes just welled up with tears. Damn it I'm injured…."How could you be so STUPID? Blaming yourself for my death when I TOLD you not to heal me with the jewel! And the wandering for fifty years? Damn it Tomas! You had NOTHING to atone for! Why in all the hells would you put yourself THROUGH all that? Nena-chan told me about what you put yourself through and Kaede gleefully confirmed it. Why, why torture yourself so much that you'd seek to end your own life?" Her voice started cracking almost at the start of her tirade and her tears were flowing at the end. I grab her limp hand off my ear and hold it on the bed.
I looked at her in a sad but certain gaze. "I let you die. You told me not to use the jewel but I listened. I could have not and healed you. I saw you die, saw the….light, your life just slip away. Gone. How the HELL should I have felt! I had to watch as your body was consumed by flames to add to it. When you died you took a large part of me with you!" I look down angrily and took a few deep breaths. "After….I had to wander. I had to move. Everything I saw was a reminder of you. I couldn't fight them….memories. I would have just wallowed in them. So I decided not to. I decided that I wanted to make sure what happened to us WOULD NOT happen to anyone else. So I wandered. And….for every life I saved, for every piece of happiness I gave to someone else. I felt whatever happiness in my life slowly drain away." I look at her with a bitter smirk.
"Oh it didn't start out that way. At first I was happy and proud I could help people like that But then I started looking at all the happiness around me and started to get jealous. find happiness. The closest thing I had was making other people happy but after a while all I wanted was a bit of happiness for myself. I started wandering to look for that as well as to help others. I also made a promise that I would make a world that you'd be happy to live in. So I kept moving and kept fighting. But…I was getting tired. So tired. I was at the point where I just didn't want to fight anymore. At the point of just not caring about anything anymore. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of being reunited with my brother one day. I created Outkast and things looked brighter. I was making a difference to others but I made no real progress or difference to myself."
"Then, I see the damn jewel is back. My brother is alive again and can't stand the sight of me. Then….I see you and you are dead and can't even remember me. I bring you back but I have to make sure not to even look at you for fear I might drive you deeper into the darkness inside of you. Then I keep getting attacked and attacked. And I wondered, Why AM I fighting so hard to stay alive? I saved a few villages, made one of my own tolerant to humans and demons, gave you back your life and future, got a jewel shard for Inuyasha and Kagome. What was left for me? What do I need to live for?" I look at her with the pain and isolation I've felt and inflicted upon myself for years. "What do I need to live for….." I turn away. She has her answer and then some.
I feel her hand under my chin as you tilts my head toward her. I see her eyes full of sadness. "Oh Tomas…" Her eyes then got hard "TOMASARU NO BAAAAAKKKA!" and she slammed a fist down right into my head. Damn it, I'm injured!
"I can not believe how monumentally stupid you are!" I looked indignant. "Hey, you asked, I told. Its how I felt!" She shook her head. "I die and you fall to pieces…" My ears fall a little at that. I STILL don't like remembering she died. She saw my reaction. "Tomasaru, you are a warrior. You have seen and dealt death countless times. You should not have let my death affect you so!" I felt hot anger rise in me. "Who are YOU to tell me how I should have felt? It's easy for the dead, its hard for the living left behind. You don't like how I dealt with your death, well TOUGH! It was the only way I could deal with it with some semblance of sanity. I could have just followed you. I did think of it A LOT of times…" Now she looked saddened by that. "I don't want you dying for me Tomasaru." I looked at her. "I won't…as long as you don't die on me!" She looked a bit shocked. I press on. "I've been without you….for a long time Kikyo. I can't, I won't go through that again. We live together or we die together."
She looked sadly on me. "What if I do not wish to BE with you?" I know she saw the pain in my eyes. I know I felt it. Being impaled paled in comparison to the pain I was feeling. "You know I will not force you. If that happens, truthfully, I don't know what I would do. I might just wander until some demon gets lucky or I might just throw myself into a battle I can't win. Either way you won't have to worry about me and you can just be happy…" I look away. I don't even want to THINK about thinking that she doesn't want to be with me. She roughly grabs my chin and jerks my head toward hers. I see tears lining her face and her eyes are more angry than I've ever seen them.
"Damn you Tomasaru…" I gulp. This is going to hurt…
She presses her face against mine in a surprisingly soft kiss. My eyes are probably bugging out of my head. Damn, after fifty years she STILL can confuse the hell out of me. I feel the tension in my body just….flow away. I don't think I've ever felt THIS relaxed. I always was tense. I can feel her body just loosen and sag against mine. Damn, this is JUST like at Totosei's place…
I gently push her head away from mine as I gasp. She's right on my injured ribs but there's no WAY I was going to tell her to get off. I look up at her. "What are you feeling?" She smiles in a way I only remembered from days long ago. "I feel….happy." I smile at that as well. "So, what now?" She smiles in a way I've never quite seen. "What would you like to happen?" Oh boy, there's a loaded question if I were ever asked one. My jaw moves but no sound comes out of it. She looks like she is immensely amused by my reaction. Damn women….
I hear the sound of something scraping outside, a growl, a curse, a shush, and someone muttering about "The good part…" I growl myself and Kikyo looks confused. I guess we were both caught up in eachother that we didn't have our senses attuned to the world around us. "There are people outside." She blushes a bit and nods. She moves to get off but I hold her down. She starts to form a question when she sees the amused gleam in my eye. I pull her down and whisper. She smiles in a wicked way as well. Time to teach eavesdroppers a bit of a lesson.
Kagome is trying to shush Inuyasha's grown as well as keep Miroku away from the window. Honestly, those two were looking through the window like a bunch of perverts! She couldn't drag them away though to her credit she did try. One she got one away the other made themselves comfortable. She didn't want to interrupt the conversation inside but she wasn't getting anywhere. Suddenly she heard a low, guttural groan. Then she heard Kikyo's voice. "You like how that feels?" Tomasaru's voice floats in like he's on the edge of something. "Oh yeah, oh KAMI don't stop!" Kagome's face turns red as a tomato while Miroku's is starting to line with drool. Inuyasha's is just a mask of anger and confusion.
Another groan. "You like that spot?" Kikyo's voice says in a silky way? "God, if you keep doing that I'm not….going to last!" Kagome's body is going into a full body blush. She then turns toward Inuyasha and gasps. He's heading to the door with steam practically coming out of his ears. She grabs onto one of his legs and Miroku grabs onto the other. He still is dragging them to the door. They can still hear Kikyo's reply. "Don't worry, we can do this as….many times as you wish." Inuyasha just walked like he didn't have two people attached to his lets. He opens up the door and is stunned into silence. His brother is on his belly with Kikyo on top massaging him.
Pretending like I don't notice Yasha with his jaw on the floor I groan out like I've been doing. "Lower Kikyo, please lower!" Kikyo, I can feel, is trying to hold her laughter in. She speaks to me. "Are you sure you can…handle it?" I try to keep my face expressionless when I answer. "Do it, don't tease me like this!" I notice Inuyasha and they others are gone and I can hear them panting a ways away. I twist my body so I'm facing her. I smirk up at Kikyo to see a matching one as we both start laughing. As we stop laughing I notice that I have a beautiful woman on top of me and my shirt is off. I feel myself getting aroused. From her position on top of me I'm sure she can feel it as well. Gods….I want her. I see a matching look in her eyes. She leans down and kisses me. It feels wonderful. My body feels like its on fire. I see her slipping off her miko garb. I grab hold of it. I want to form a question but my voice doesn't want to tell her to stop. She notices my hesitation and correctly responds. "I told Inuyasha….about us. About what we feel. When I ran out earlier it was because of all the memories that were flooding me. He followed. I told him how I felt." I swallowed the lump I had in my throat. I wanted this but I also NEEDED to know "How do you feel?" She smiled wickedly at me and leaned close to my ear. She whispered "Let me show you…" and I felt a lick. I looked at the eyes of the woman I loved and, for the first time in over fifty years, gave a genuine heartfelt smile.
What followed later on in the evening is something ancient and natural between two people in love. If you want details use your imagination. There are SOME things that should be left unsaid. Just let it be known it was GOOD!
That's all with this chapter. I felt this was a good place to end things. The intimate scenes I am not going to really delve into. I COULD, but I really want this to be about feelings and story and not get into positions and poundings. This story is just flowing. I am not really following any kind of outline or anything, just writing whatever pops in the head. Well, see you all next chapter!
