Author's notes and/or rants. xD:
This is a one-shot songfic about Duo's relationship with Heero, after the war. If you want to look into it, it could be seen as a partnership, as in a couple, but I wrote this, when I was twelve, to explain their twisted friendship after the war. I'm fifteen, and I've changed nothing in it ; So bare that in mind when you review.
I'm not Duo or Heero-bashing. This is a total work of fiction inspired by Linkin Park's 'Points of Autority'. But, in fanfics, Heero always seems 'cured' of his old ways, of his Perfect Solider teachings, straight after the war, and I don't think it would be that way. I liked the thought, for this particular fanfic, of him still being him, and this reflecting in his behavouir. I may write a one-shot fic about his inner termoil through this, it may even become another songfic if I can get the right lyrics.
What else to say...? Well, I don't own the lyrics or the Gundam characters. It's written in first person and the past, by Duo, and I think it's him looking back, whilst listening to this song. God knows, I may even write a 'fic from Quatre's POV, when Duo comes to him... Just keep an eye out.
Please review. ; I need inspiration and encouragement. I've spent so much time roleplaying (often not even Gundam, le gasp!) that I haven't written a fanfic in months, maybe even a year.
Oh, and, if this is hard to read, it's because I haven't mastered fanfic HTML. I can do Neo-HTML fine, but... when I do master it, I'll be writing and rewriting more fics. If anyone wants to educate me on the HTML here, espically paragraphs and italics, please email me at- (Any HTML used is experimental right now.)
Yo, yo.
Forfit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame,
Put your name to shame
Cover up your face
You can't run the race
The pace it too fast, you just won't last.
After the war, everyone settled down. Because of the partnerships formed during the war, I got stuck with Heero. I didn't mind. We were buds. Bestest buds. But...after the war, he got...weird. Not...weird on me, trying to get close or whatever, but weird weird.
You love the way I look at you
While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through
You take away
If I give in
My life,
My pride is broken.
He would watch me a lot. Just to see me breaking. He loved that. He loved my eyes- Loved watching them change from happy to sad, I know my eyes tell a lot about me. I hated the abuse. He would make me pretend to like it, to want it...Like some faithful dog I came back everytime. Quatre knew. Quatre also knew to keep quiet. Not because of me- I wasn't the one threatening to punch him, that was Heero. Everytime it got too much, I would run to Quatre, and he would tell me again to phone the police. I never did. Feels stupid now, wishing I had. It's not like I didn't have evidence. He would...verbally torture me, telling me I wasn't good enough. He left me as an empty shell. A few months of that...that not being good enough, that critsism would leave anyone like that.. I think I did something wrong. I mean, something had to start it up, right?
You like to think you're never wrong
You have to act like you're someone
You want someone to hurt like you
You wanna share what you've been through
You live what you do
Even after the war he acted like the perfect soldier. He was a body guard, so he kept in his role. The only problem with that is he stayed in the role after work, too. Maybe that's what drew him to this consistent bullying. Yeah, I'm used to being called a 'baka' but...sometimes it hurts. Actually, it hurts a lot. I never let it on before. Somewhere inside me I'm shy, and just...afraid. I'm afraid a lot now, I cower. He liked that. Laughed at it. It wasn't funny. Fear gripped me with an iron claw and refused to let go, even after the blow had come. I think he found that the funniest.
You love the things I say I do
The way I hurt myself again just to get back at you
You take away
When I give in
My life, my pride is broken
He would really annoy me. He knew it too. In public he would embarrass me...When we got home, I would threaten him with so many things...so many things I could do to myself...so many things I did do, displaying the scars proudly the next morning though there is no pride in it. He liked hearing how I did it. First time it was an accident. He didn't know it was though. I pretended I knew what I was doing all along. I think it gave him a great feeling of power to see what I did to myself because of him. Like I was his puppet, all along- '"Next time, Maxwell, do it down. They can't sew that back up, baka."' I'd nod, or sometimes agree verbally- '"...Yes, Heero."'
You like to think you're never wrong
You have to act like you're someone
You want someone to hurt like you
You wanna share what you've been through
You live what you do
I think he tried to pass on his hate. Onto me maybe, or maybe just onto his surrondings. Maybe I got in the way. Yeah, I know he's been through hell and back but...so have I. We all have. No need for him to get so bent out of shape just because his past hasn't been perfect. Nobody has a perfect life. No-one expects to. Just because he is the 'Perfect Soldier', it doesn't mean...Anything.
He's gonna kill me one day. I know it. He's gonna take that gun...and shot me. Like he should of done all those years back in the war. Maybe he still thinks I should be destroyed. Maybe I'm still worthless. Maybe...maybe he's the only one who makes me feel this way. Maybe I'm losing my faveourite game. Of being the God of Death. Maybe he should be that instead of the angel of death.
Forfit the game before somebody else takes you out of the frame put your name to shame cover up your face you can't run the race the pace is too fast, you just won't last won't last won't last won't last won't last etc.
He's running so fast I can't keep up. He runs us all in circles. And we all foolishly chase after him. We're all idiots, he's right to call us that. I kneel to him now, bow before this...power he has, a power to constently...just be Heero. I hate him. I. Hate. Him. I HATE HIM!
Owari
Author debrief- I purposely used a lack of Japanese in here, because it's overused. Duo's AMERICAN, not Japanese. I did have a point, before I edited the text (when I was younger) where Heero forced him to use Japanese, but I thought that was a bit odd and pathetic. I used...baka, which is obviously idiot, once, and I used it in quotes, because Duo wouldn't use that word unless it was a quote. I dislike fanfics or people who use partical Japanese- Only Heero is Japanese, and he would either speak all or none, not half and half. Besides, writen Japanese is symbols, not words.
I'm not having a dig xD I'm just explaining the amazing lack of random Japanese. It would be like me putting random German in the middle of an English essay- Pointless, even if the translated sentence fit into the text perfectly.
Alright, so...review. And feel free to argue or pick up any points in the fic, because I will change anything...wrong. Unless it's my opinion, which is mine, and you can argue with. ;
...Man, I'm testy today...
