The Message In the Bottle
Chapter Six
NOTE: I know nothing about planes except they go in the air, and I know nothing about airports except they're crowded with high security, so please, don't come after me!
Locke found Jack sitting at a fire by himself, staring deeply into the ground with his knees brought up to his chest and his hands dangling between them.
"Mind if I have a seat?" Locke said, while going ahead and taking it.
Reaching into his bag, Locke brought out a bottle of water, and offered it to Jack, who shook his head. Next, Locke brought out a small pill bottle, one that was all too familiar to Jack.
"Those are Boone's," Jack said, puzzled.
"I know," Locke said, looking at Jack and holding out the bottle.
"How'd you get it?" Jack asked, wandering what this was supposed to be.
"Boone didn't need it at the time," Locke said simply, examining the bottle.
"I don't get it," Jack said, "did he just..tell you?"
"Let's just say we have a history," Locke said, somewhat distantly.
Jack looked at him, somewhat annoyed that he was here. Was it to much to ask that everyone left him alone, just for once?
"What are you trying to say, Locke?" Jack said, getting to the point.
"When I was a boy," Locke began, "my dad hated my mom. I remember hiding in my room, listening to them yell, thinking that I would just be better off without them. I was always making plans of running away, and it haunted my dreams."
Jack watched him as Locke fiddled with the pill bottle, trying to figure out what this had to do with him. Though as he listened, it seemed as though Locke was lost in his own memories, and had completely forgotten that Jack was there.
"And then one summer, I went off to camp," Locke continued, "but when I got off the bus at home, they were gone."
Staring at him, Jack found himself hardly able to believe Locke's story. It seemed so harsh, so cruel, but then again, was it any worse than his? Locke had been able to escape from his life, but he had never gotten the change, until now. Was that what Locke was trying to say?
"What are you saying?" Jack asked, speaking his thoughts.
"I had a hard time dealing with the concept of it over the next two years," Locke said, not seeming tempted to hold back, it was more like a confession, "and I needed help."
He came back into reality, and pointed to Jack.
"You need help," he said, seriously, "now I don't know what has happened to you or what you've done, but you need help."
"Are you suggesting that I-?" Jack began, eyeing the pills.
"That is one option," Locke cut in, "but I'm not pushing it."
"Boone uses them," Jack said, sounding like a child making excuses, "and the only difference between Boone and I is that he did what he needed to do when he needed to do it."
"No," Locke said, "the difference between you and Boone is that Boone doesn't have a choice-" he flipped the bottle of pills in the air like he did with his knives, and handed it once more to Jack, "you do."
Jack stared at the capsule a moment before finally replying, and when he did, he was embarrassed to discover that his voice was cracking, and he had to speak softly, so softly that Locke had to strain to hear, for it not to show.
"Then what should I do?"
"Well, there's this way," Locke said, once more fiddling with the bottle, until he noticed movement from the opposite side of the caves: Kate, coming in to get some water. Both Locke and Jack were out of eyesight, for Jack had purposefully distanced himself, "or their are other ways."
Locke gave the capsule to Jack, who took it, staring so deeply into it that he didn't if notice when Locke stood up, holding Jack's shoulder for balance, and left.
Jack was standing in the back lot of the LA airport, anxiously waiting. His nerves were growing as they had been since he woke up at four sixteen this morning, nearly two hours before his alarm went off(it was Saturday, and he was beginning to learn to take advantage of his days off). Not that he had gotten much sleep anyway.
It had been a month and a half since his father had disowned him, and it had finally begun to take its psychological toll on Jack. Of course, some thought it had from the start. After his awkward one night stand, Jack drew himself away, once again, from the world of dating, and from the world period. He hadn't talked to Mark since the set up. There was a message on his machine at home from Mark concerning Jack being best man. Jack hadn't replied, figuring if Mark wanted it so bad, he could come ask Jack himself.
"Jack Shepard?"
Jack turned at the voice to face a man in his upper forties, dressed in a formal pilot outfit, complete with the wings pinned to the pocket of his shirt. He looked like a guy who knew exactly what he was doing, loved doing it, and did it everyday, and that thought alone eased Jack's nerves a little as the two men shook hands.
"I'm Nathan Cook," the man said, "I've been flying for thirty-five years, flew my first plane when I was sixteen, only crashed once, so you have nothing to worry about."
Jack looked at him, trying to decide if that was meant to be a-
"Only joking!" Nathan said with a laugh at Jack's serious face. "So is that face taught in med school?" At Jack's confused and not amused look, he continued. "Sorry, let's just get right to it. Is there anything you need to tell me? Any medical attention? Eye problems?" His eyes glistened. "Girl problems?"
If possible, Jack was left amused than before. What a way to boost his self-esteem. No way was he telling this creep a thing.
"Sorry," Nathan said again, "I'll go do a little pre test, come back, and we'll be ready to go."
Nodding, Jack watched as Nathan walked towards the plane that was parked solemnly by itself. Watching as he stepped in, Jack once again began his regular anxious wait, lifting himself on and of the balls of his heals.
"Jack!"
Jack spun around at the sound of the voice he had hardly recognized. No other than Mark was running towards him, dressed in a suit with a tie thrown loosely around his neck. He stopped when he reached Jack, gasping for breath.
"I..haven't run..that much..since high school," Mark said with a small smile.
"What, the bullies chasing you again?" Jack joked.
"Glad to see you're in high spirits," when Jack didn't answer, Mark looked around, and as if realizing for the first time where they were, exclaimed, "flying lessons? Come on Jack, seriously. A girl leaves you and you take flying lessons?"
"Yeah but I'm sure you know the story behind that," Jack shot.
The statement hit Mark like bricks, and Jack could see it in his face.
"Sorry," Jack began, "I shouldn't have-"
"I was worried about you, Jack," Mark began, "we all were."
"All?" Jack questioned, eyebrow raised.
"Your mom and-"
"My mom?" Jack repeated. "You went to my mother?"
"Well-"
"My mom hasn't talked to me a week longer than my dad," Jack said, "she doesn't care about me."
"She does-"
"Don't talk to me about my parents!" Jack yelled over him, causing the pilot who was leaning inside the plane to glance over. "You don't know anything about me!"
"Calm down Jack," Mark muttered, "don't cause-"
"I'll cause whatever I want to!" Jack snapped.
"Jack, if you'll just listen, I know f a really good therapist who can help you-"
"I don't need help!" Jack cut in, furious.
Right on time, Nathan stepped in.
"Um.. I hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said, a little embarrassed, "but the plane's ready if you are."
Jack glared at Mark, who stared back, helpless.
"Yeah," Jack said, "I'm ready."
Sitting in the cockpit of the plane made Jack feel superior somehow, like he was in control of something.
'For once,' Jack thought.
It was always his father in charge of anything, like they were some sort of a couple. Jack and Christian Shepard. How romantic. Jack didn't think so.
"You ready?" Nathan asked him, jerking Jack out of his thoughts as he realized he had been staring at the handles.
For a split moment, Jack thought of fleeing from the cockpit, running back outside, and confessing everything. Confessing that he needed help, that he wanted it but was too weak to ask, and confessing that he knew if he lived another week like this he'd kill himself. When he realized he was being watched, he nodded.
"Well, you know what to do," Nathan said, "but I'm here to help."
Jack nodded again, and did his job- starting up the small plane and putting it in the air. After a few minutes of flying, Jack relaxed, reminding himself that this was why he chose flying as an alternate career choice. Up here he could relax. Up here, no one cared what he had done, or what he told himself he couldn't do. Up here he could think, without the pressure of knowing one wrong move of the hand, and a life could end. Okay, so that wasn't entirely true, but for the first time, he could see why someone would want to spend fifty years doing this. But that's when it started.
He hadn't realized his hands had been shaking, and he hadn't known for how long. He was turning cold, he could feel it, and was shaking. When had this started, what was causing it? And then the headache came with excruciating pain that explode within him, causing him to jump back in his chair.
"Jack, are you all right?" He heard from beside him, but couldn't answer.
He was slowly loosing control over the plane as he felt his sweaty, shaky hands slip from the wheel he was clutched to. Fighting to keep focused, Jack strained to see more than just pink blurs in the sky.
"Jack, you can do this," came Nathan's voice, "just turn around the plane, and land it. You can do it, you've seen it done a dozen times before.
But Jack was too shaky to notice. Blackness blinked in and out of his mind as he tried to turn off course, and felt no more except the feel of hands moving his out of the way..
Jack looked down as he let Nathan help him out of the plane. He had never remembered feeling so embarrassed before. Well, except maybe the reason incident with Alana, but he had never been much of a romantic. Mark ran to them as he put his arm around Jack's shoulders, letting Nathan(who thanked him) off the hook, and helped Jack walk over to a set of stairs decreasing from a door to the side of the airport, slowly sitting Jack down. He gave Jack a minute, and then he didn't even need to ask what had happened.
"So ready for that therapist now?" He asked as Jack sat there, holding his head in his hands, still trying to block out the pains in his head that seem to have come from nowhere.
Without saying a word, Jack nodded.
Jack was in his cave, going through all the medical supplies, sorting through the clothes he found, doing anything to keep his mind off of the decision he was avoiding. He just didn't know if he could do it. Hand his life over to some other force like that. He was just popping some panic killers in his mouth for his back when he heard a soft beat against the cave wall.
"Knock knock."
Kate's figure appeared in the entrance, smiling, and Jack couldn't help but to return it.
"Hey," Jack greeted.
"Hey yourself," Kate said, entering, "you look better."
"Maybe I am," Jack said, sticking to the optimistic mood.
"Really though," Kate said, watching him, "how are you doing?"
"I'm fine," Jack lied.
"Don't say that," Kate said, "because that's what you've been saying from day one. That's what you said when you disappeared into the jungle, only to coincidentally come back with news of a fresh water source. That's what you after you were buried and the cave in and after you let Sayid torture Sawyer."
She knew the last comment had hit him especially hard, and she studying his hardening face as it did, but nonetheless, Jack didn't contradict himself.
"So don't give me that anymore," Kate said, "you want the truth from me and I want it from you. It's a two way street, Jack."
Letting him take that in, Kate watched as he lowered his head, holding his fingers against his forehead as if trying to block out something.
"So how are you really feeling?" Kate asked more empathetic.
And to her surprise, Jack answered.
"I don't know," he said truthfully, "I'm not sure."
"Then let me help you," Kate said softly, stepping in front of him, forcing him to look down on her. "What's going on? And I want the truth this time."
Jack took a deep breath, and then told her, knowing it was only fair, and knowing he needed to get it off his back.
"I've been seeing these- visions," he began, and then clarified at her confused stare, "hallucinations."
"Of what?"
"My father," Jack said, barely audible.
"The cliff," Kate realized, "and the bridge. How long has this been going on?"
"Day seven," Jack said regretfully.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Kate asked, feeling bad for every time she had gotten on to him, or wandered why he was acting the way he did.
"It's not something you hear everyday, is it?" Jack said with a taste of light humor.
Kate didn't see it.
"Can anybody help you?" Kate asked desperately.
"The only person who can help me is in the dead of the jungle," Jack said.
"Well Locke isn't the only one with brains."
Jack stared at her, and then remembered she didn't know about Boone.
"But there is another way," he said finally.
"What?" Kate said, staring at him.
Hesitating first, Jack reached in his pocket and pulled out the half-empty medicine capsule.
"What are those?" Kate asked, wandering if Jack was hiding more than he was telling.
"Do you swear not to tell a soul?" Jack asked her, more serious than he had ever been with her.
"Yeah, I swear," she promised.
"They're Boone's," Jack said with regret, "but that's all I can say."
"Fair enough," Kate agreed, "but what do they have to do with you?"
Jack thought about it before answering.
"He has the same sort of problem I do," Jack began.
"With hallucinations?"
"Yeah," Jack nodded, "if I take these, they might help."
"Stop the hallucinations?" Kate said with a little help.
"More like withdraw them," Jack said, "it would take some strength on my part too, but-"
"But what?" Kate said, not getting it. "Jack, you can't do this. You can't give up this strength you've already built and give in to something like that."
"The strength I've built?" Jack repeated. "Kate, are you not listening to what I've been saying? I'm weak. I spent two months denying it before it was too late."
"You've been through this before," Kate realized.
"I don't think I can help myself anymore," Jack admitted, "maybe it'll just take something else, because I can't risk it. These people need my help, and if I'm not able to-"
"How could you live with yourself knowing that your strengths, your emotions are being overruled by something else?" Kate asked him, a bit disgusted. "I mean, no wonder Boone's so disorientated. I see him with Shannon. One minute he's fine, and the next-"
"I've been trying for over two months now, Kate," Jack reminded, "and if nothing's helped, maybe this is the answer."
Kate stared at him in disbelief.
"I can't believe you," she said, looking at him with a pain look in her eyes, "I never thought you'd sink this low. This entire time you've been pulling away from whatever happened between you and your father, and whatever power he had over you. And now, you're just going to go and do this?"
Jack didn't answer as he avoided her stare, but after a beat, he couldn't take it, and looked back into her hard eyes.
"This isn't you," she said, shaking her head.
Turning, she headed towards the cave opening, but stopped before leaving, and looked back at Jack who stood, remorse in his thoughts, a hurt look in his eye that he knew shouldn't be there because deep down, he knew Kate was right.
"You have a job to do, Jack," Kate said, leaning onto the wall, "but before you save the others, you've got to save yourself."
Jack looked at her, admiring Kate as she stood in the beauty he loved about her, not only with looks, but in the way she spoke, the way she looked at him, everything. And then he smiled at her.
"Locke told you to say that, didn't he?" Jack said, a little amused.
Kate returned the smile.
"Yeah," she admitted, laughing a little, "but I sounded really smart there for a second, didn't I?"
Meeting eye, they gazed at each other, and though wanting the moment to last forever, Kate knew it couldn't and turned, leaving. As soon as her footsteps ceased their echo, Jack raised the pill bottle, noticing everything from its scratched edges to the small code on the cap: 423, and while doing so, he recalled everything Kate had said, combined with his advise from Locke, and decided that they were right; he could do this. And with that, he through the bottle into the cluster of medicine, making a mental note to remind Boone to take it with him later.
Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait! Writer's block thing. Hope yall liked it! Next chapter will most likely be last, and a song fic chapter to "Displaced" by Azure(sp?) Ray. Much thanks for all the reviews!
Summary for next fic:
Request- It's a game of trust and betrayal as Jack vows to protect Kate's past when it's put endanger, and what was meant to be a romantic date between Shannon and Sayid turns into a misled jungle trek when Locke goes missing.
Until next time..
October Sky
