Chapter 4
Drag Queen Power Ranger in a Barney Suit vs. Kaiba
(Yami-Power Ranger, Yo-Gi-Oh - dress, Marrik - Barney suit)
"I should have Nasha's number upstairs." Yugi chimed, standing up.
"Why didn't you say anything before?" Marrik asked, still exhausted from fleeing him imprisonment.
"Téa seemed to have it under control. Didn't you, Téa?"
"Yugi," Téa started, "I know you're shorter than me, but would you mind looking up at my face when you're talking to me."
Yugi was then booted up stairs to search for Nasha's phone number.
Bakura sighed slightly. "I hate to admit it, but the sooner we get Nasha and Nira hear, the better."
"I hear you there," was Marrik's attempt to use English slang response. "I don't think Nira would stoop to this level."
"Are you sure?" Bakura asked back, "I didn't think it was possible for my Yami to stoop to this level."
"But notice that your Yami is only dressing up in ways that he can better beat down the pharaoh." Marrik pointed out. "He was the one that started it all."
Bakura nodded back. "Yes, but Nira will fix him. Who better to fix the husband than the wife?"
"True," Marrik replied, loosing himself in his own mind. "And what a woman she is. I knew her when she was younger, you know."
"I've heard," Bakura nodded in reply.
Watching Marrik and Bakura get lost in their memories of Nasha and Nira almost caused Téa to explode. She would've if she wasn't interrupted by hysterical evil laughs in the other room. Yo Gi Oh's voice quickly hushed them. "What's so funny? If Marrik can walk around with all that jewelry and walk around like with a freak show as Bakura goes cackling through a graveyard then I can wear pink! You know, it takes a real man to wear a dress!"
Téa, Marrik and Bakura looked back and forth at each other.
"You guys heard that, right?" Téa asked, unsure how to react.
"Of course I did," hissed Marrik. "I don't wear that much jewelry. In my country, cuffs and chains are very manly."
"Cackling through a graveyard?" Bakura asked the air, very confused.
"Do you think my jewelry is girly, Bakura?" Marrik asked, now actually curious.
"Oh, no," Bakura responded, slightly afraid of Marrik's wrath. "Jewelry is very manly. I wore the Millennium ring, remember?" Bakura looked up to see that Marrik no longer cared and was with Téa currently peaking around the corner of the hallway to see what the Yamis were now wearing.
Yugi trumped down the stairs, rather pleased. "Nasha said she'd see if she could get through the shadow realm to the museu- Hey, Bakura? Where are Marrik and Téa?"
Bakura pointed to the end of the hallway. What followed they were both ill prepared for. Both their thoughts were interrupted by Marrik bursting into uncontrollable laughter and then being chased back into the living room by Yami Marrik in a giant purple dinosaur suit.
"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, SLAVE? DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DINOSAURS? HUH? YOU WON'T BE SO AMUSED WHEN MY TAIL POUNDS YOU THROUGH THE FOUNDATION!"
Despite himself, Marrik could not control his laughter as he ran for his life. Apparently, Yami Marrik didn't understand what a giant purple dinosaur outfit symbolized. "Oh no!" Marrik cried sarcastically. "The powers of love and friendship are too much for me!"
"I'LL SHOW YOU LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP, MORTAL!"
The three teenagers watch helplessly as Marrik was chased around the couch by the lumbering Barney.
Bakura make the unfortunate mistake of moving to watch Marrik suffer and ended up getting in Marrik's way. Marrik, in a desperate attempt to get Bakura to move, unhooks the gold chain on his vest and swings it in Bakura's general direction. "Move! Peasant!"
Bakura, now terrified for his life, takes to his heels and flees down the hallway with Marrik swinging a chain at him who was, in turn, being chased by Barney. Téa and Yugi quickly follow the three down the hallway back into the main shop. By the time they had caught up with them, though, Yami had also joined the fray. Dresses in a Red Ranger costume, he cut in front of the rampaging Barney to throw plastic army men at Marrik and Bakura for knocking him over. Yo Gi Oh was standing against the door laughing at them all.
Very, very, VERY large sweat drops fell from Yugi and Téa's heads. Yugi was about to turn around and walk back into the living room when he got whipped my Yami Marrik's tail and launched safely into the pile of costumes removed from the closet.
Téa rushed over to his side and helped pull Yugi out of the pile. "My goodness, Yugi. Are you alright?"
Yugi emerged holding his head... actually, it was a sailor hat on top of his head. Téa was in mid yanking Yugi free of the pile when Bakura shoved her.
"Terribly sorry, Téa, but please keep moving." Bakura stated this as British and as politely as possible while fleeing from a chain and being decked by army guys.
"Wait! Téa! " Yugi cried from the costume pile as Téa was hurried around the room having practically no control of which way she turned and now that she was in front of Bakura, Bakura couldn't really see where he was steering her.
"Oh no!" Tea cried as she was shoved as the front door. "Look out, Yo Gi Oh!"
Yo Gi Oh, in his pink dress, seeing the direness of the situation, quickly opened the door for Téa before she rammed right into him and scooped him up. Yugi, in a panic not to be left behind, grabbed onto Yami Marrik's Barney tail and they were off out the front door.
Now picture running down the street if you will Yo Gi Oh in a pink dress in Téa's arms making it impossible for her to see, being steered by Bakura who also can't see but is forced to keep running because he's fleeing from Marrik wildly swinging a chain at him to keep him moving because A giant purple dinosaur is chasing him and the Red Ranger is chucking plastic army men at the both of them. And let's not forget little Yugi in a Sailor suit clinging desperately for his life on Barney's tail.
"Woh, woh, woh! LEFT!" Yo Gi Oh screamed as the line veered down the next block avoiding a speeding car. "Right! Left! Left again! No! Left!" Poor innocent by standers leapt out of the way of the speeding line of chaos that plagued their sidewalks.
"Which left?" Bakura asked, near tears. "Yours or mine?"
"It's the same left!" Téa cried, her face filled with white lace.
Little Yugi called up from the back, his eyes streaming with tears as he clung to the tail and bounced up and down. "Téa! Stop this crazy thing!"
"Yami!" Téa called through the lace.
"It's Yo Gi Oh!" the pharaoh called back between forcing people to the side.
"Yo Gi Oh, then!" Téa shouted back.
"Yes?" He shouted back at her, not being able to see her through the dress flying all over the place.
Téa spit the frills from her mouth. "Find us a nice place to stop."
"Like WHERE?" Yo Gi Oh screamed back. "What's wrong with the street?"
"Find us a large open space, preferably a building so no one will see you in your dress. And not one with stairs, Yo Gi Oh! I'm not going up stairs!"
Yo Gi Oh humped, holding his dress down. "I guess that checks out the Museum. All right! Right!"
Yo Gi Oh scanned what he could see for a large building that you didn't have to enter through stairs. He didn't have time to read signs or actually see what buildings passed as Téa ran, shoved by Bakura being pelted in the head and threatened by a chain of a guy being hunted by Barney.
"Right! Little left! Too much left! TOO MUCH LEFT!" People cleared the way and the traffic stopped to watch the line of characters sprint down the sidewalk dodging streetlamps, cars, carts and handicapped.
"Quick! Freedom! Turn right!"
Bakura shoved Téa to the right and they heard the sound of marble underneath their feet.
Completely exhausted, Bakura finally tripped, knocking Téa over who then flung Yo Gi Oh. Bakura was then crushed my Marrik, the Red Ranger, and Barney, who, when falling, flung the sobbing Yugi in a Sailor suit right on top of the recovering Yo Gi Oh.
Téa sat up, rubbing her head and fixing her skirt. "Ow, where are we?"
"I'm... afraid... I don't... know." Bakura said between breathes.
"Bakurraa!" Téa wailed, attempting to pull him out. It was in mid attempt that they heard a loud rough young male voice. "Look, bro! It's Barney!"
Yami Marrik shot up in detest. "Barney? Barney? I'll have your head for placing such a tasteless name upon my noble head!"
Téa, Bakura, and Marrik all turned their head's at the exact same time with the exact same speed to all see at the same time Yami Marrik trying to get the young Mokuba Kiaba off his leg.
Téa bit her lip. "Are we in Kiaba Corp?"
A moan caused the three to continue to turn their heads to find Seto Kiaba squashed underneath the cross-dressing Yo Gi Oh and Yugi in a Sailor suit. They all held their breath as Kiaba jumped up in disgust, whip himself off and begin to say: "Alright. Who dares touch m-"
First he saw Barney and the Red Ranger fighting off Mokuba, then he saw Téa, Bakura and Marrik sitting a yard or two away, and then he looked down to see his archrival passed out in big yellow rain boots and a sailor suit and his powerful alter ego looking up at him in a pink frilly dress. Yo Gi Oh batted his eyelashes to freak Kiaba out.
And the room exploded.
