A Very Chrono Christmas

We begin with a shot of Crono's house in 1000 A.D. The Epoch appears in the sky and drops down in front of the house. The cockpit opens and Crono, Ayla, and Frog get out and walk in.

Inside, X-Mas decorations are up, frost is on the window, a roast is in the oven, there's a roaring fire, stockings are up, tree's decorated, the whole cliche "home for the holidays" thing. Marle, Lucca, and Robo are inside.

Marle: OH! Ayla, Frog, I missed you guys so much!

Marle runs up and happily hugs them both, smiling warmly.

Frog: Greetings, young lass. 'Tis so wonderful to see thine face following so many months in each other's absence.

Ayla happily returned the hug, crushing Marle's spine.

Ayla: Oh, Ayla miss her friends so much! Things so bad in village now! White stuff come from sky. Game nowhere to be found... Ayla so happy to- OOH! What smell!

Ayla lets go of Marle and takes a few steps forward, sniffing wildly.

Ayla: Ayla smell burning boar! We have big yummy feast?

Mom: Oh, do you like it?

Crono's mom walks into the living room from the kitchen, smiling warmly.

Mom: It's all nice and plump, and it'll be ready to eat for Christmas dinner tomarrow.

Lucca: Oooh.. are you making that cranberry sauce, too?

Mom: Of course.

Lucca: Oh, my mouth's already watering...

Ayla: Tomarrow? But Ayla want boar now!

Mom: Oh, no. You'll have to wait until tomarrow night, young lady.

Frog: You know what I could go for? Some Egg-and-Grog-in-a-Noggin!

Everybody turns to stare at Frog.

Marle: Some what?

Frog: 'Tis a very good wintertime drink in my time. A nice tankard of sherry mixed with milk, and with maybe a little bit of brandy mixed in as well.

Robo: I believe you're referring to what the humans know as eggnog.

Ayla: Eggs in noggin?

Crono's mom looks around.

Mom: Crono, didn't you say that had six friends coming over?

Marle: Yeah, we just haven't picked up Magus yet. C'mon Lucca, we can swing by...

Lucca: Okay, but we gotta be back before Ayla gets drunk on Eggnog. I ain't gonna miss that.

Mom: I'll have some eggnog all ready for you when you come back.

Marle and Lucca head out into the Epoch and fly backward through time. The arrive at 12,000 B.C. and land in front of Magus's home. They open the door.

As Magus built it himself with his magic, it was made of stone, but quite warm inside. The walls of the first room were almost entirely covered in bookshelves. There was a large armchair in which the wizard sat, reading. Alfador was curled up in his lap.

Marle: Hey, Magus! Merry Christmas!

Magus: (curtly, not looking up from book) Hello.

Lucca: Looking around Wow, you really went nuts with the books...

Magus: Leftovers I salvaged from the ruins of Zeal. Fortunately they were magicaly protected against water. I was too young to read them when I lived there.

Marle: Magus, wanna come with us to Crono's house for a huge Christmas party?

Magus: (Curtly) No.

Marle: Everybody's gonna be there! We're gonna sing carols, and drink eggnog, and have a huge snowball fight. Then tomarrow we're all-

Magus: No.

Marle: C'mon... I'm sure Crono's mom'll be glad to have you!

Magus: No.

Lucca: Marle, maybe we should go.

Magus: Yes.

Marle: But--

Magus: Go.

Marle looks at Magus for a few moments and walks out the door with Lucca. There's silence in the room for several moments.

Alfador: (Mews)

Magus: ...

Cut back to 1000 A.D. Crono's mom is in an argument with Ayla.

Mom: Well, if you're going to be spending the night here, you won't be dressing like that, young lady.

Ayla: Ayla dress in what she want! Furs give Ayla freedom!

Robo: Ayla, don't you think it might be wise to put on something a little more... modest?

Frog: Aye. In mine time a lass who walked the streets in such dress would be frowned upon by the soldiers and hooted at by the drunks.

Mom: And you're certainly not going outside like that. You'll catch your death of cold.

Ayla: But Ayla--

Crono's mom grabs her by the arm and drags her upstairs.

Mom: C'mon now, Marle brought some spare clothes upstairs that may fit you.

Once they leave, Robo turns to Crono, who's kneeling by his Gamecube.

Robo: Your mother is very strange.

Frog: Aye, the woman seems a bit oblivious to thine exploits.

Crono turns to the both of them and raises an eyebrow.

Frog: True, we hath no right to speak of one's normality.

Marle and Lucca come through the door, Marle looking rather dejected.

Robo: Where's Magus?

Marle: He didn't wanna come.

Marle looked around.

Marle: Where's Ayla?

Robo: Getting a new wardrobe thanks to Crono's mother.

Lucca: Good. I'm sick of her walking around not wearing practically anything. It's awkward.

Mom: All done!

Ayla walks down the stairs, decided in Marle's spare clothes. Crono's mom was following her, smiling warmly.

Mom: There, Ayla. Isn't that better?

Ayla: Ayla feel like, like she in straight jacket... Why pants so poofy?

All heads turned as the door opened and Magus walked in, Alfador padding along behind him.

Mom: Oh, you must be the other fellow they went to fetch.

Lucca: Wait, wait, I thought you weren't coming?

Marle: Oh, Magus! You were so touched by Christmas spirit you couldn't resist coming!

Magus: I just felt like seeing some of--

Marle: (Big watery eyes) You wanted to spend time with your old friends and be merry with them, because we really mean something to you!

Magus: What? NO! You're completely-

Marle: Magus, you say that you hate us and don't care about us but underneath it all you really do love us.

Magus: Okay, you're star--

Marle: I know you've been an outcast all your life, but you'll always have a family right here with us!

Marle throws open her arms and rushes forward to hug him, but Magus puts a hand up, stopping her.

Magus: I draw the line at the hug. The family thing's cool, so long as you don't touch me.

Lucca snickered, Magus turned to her, eyes glowing ominously.

Magus: Something funny, Ashtear?

Lucca: (Sweatdrop) Uh... no, no...

Crono stands up.

Frog: What be wrong, lad?

Crono motions to the door.

Marle: Outside? What's outside?

Everybody, save Crono's mother followed him out into the yard, which is truely just a huge field as Crono's house was on the outskirts of Truce.

Ayla: What wrong, Crono?

Marle: Yeah, I don't see anything out here.

As everybody's eyes were off him, Crono made a snowball and hit Lucca in the back of the head, knocking off her helmet.

Lucca: Oh, it's on, now.

Cue all-out war. Everyone in the yard, save Magus, reign hell upon each other in a snowball frenzy.

Marle: (Lying low with Crono) Crono, we're surrounded, there's no way out!

Frog: (Standing over them both next to Ayla) That's right, young land, surrender now, and we shall spare your lives!

Ayla: (Holding gigantic snowball over her head) Yes, say we better!

Suddenly, from behind a snowfort Lucca and Robo rose up.

Lucca: Not so fast there, Lord Frog of Froggiemire, I, Lady Lucca of the Ashtear Dynasty rule this land, and if you fail to back down, we've got more snowballs then we know what to do with in here!

Frog: A wise gesture to build a fortess, but will it protect you against a weapon this large?

Ayla heaved the boulder-sized-snowball toward the fort, which Robo managed to barely deflect.

Robo: Lady Lucca, please leave these fools to me, your mighty Samurai bodyguard!

Robo strikes a heroic pose, but is soon pelted by snowballs from Crono.

Marle: (Standing beside Crono) Bow before the glory that is Guardia! We will fight them on the rivers, we will fight them on the mountains!

Robo: You have made a mistake to battle a samurai!

Robo puts his robotic hands into the snow and thrusts them upwards, making a wave of snow fall upon his opponents.

Frog: Quickly, we must crush them as they bicker!

As Ayla starts making another gigantic snowball, Frog jumps closer to Lucca.

Lucca: Lord Frog!

Frog: Froggiemire will preveal!

The two of them begin to wildly pummel each other with snowballs. Ayla picks up her new gigantic snowball and moves toward Robo, Crono, and Marle.

Marle: Crono, look out!

Robo: Oh, no!

Crono moves fast, and unseathes his sword, cutting the snowball in half.

Robo: Face your doom, Ayla!

Robo prepares another wave, but Frog jumps in, grabs Ayla, and then jumps out of the way, landing in front of Magus, who'd been watching the whole spectacle with a hard-to-read expression on his face.

Frog: You will never break the spirit of our people, Ashtear! Froggiemire will not lose faith!

Marle: We'll be the judge of that.

Lucca: Yeah, let's see you put your money where your mouth is!

Lucca grabbed a snowball and threw it, but Frog lept away. Causing one big problem. The snowball, which had been aimed at Frog and Ayla, hit Magus on the side of his forehead. A ominous pause went over the battlefield.

Lucca: Uh... Magus?

The mage's eyes began to glow blood red.

Lucca: Umm... Magus you know that was only a joke, right? Harmless little prank...

His mouth opened in a snarl, surely about to utter a fearsome curse or painfull plague to cause torment upon the land.

Then, to everybody's surprise, he smirked.

Magus: Lady Lucca of the Ashtear Dynasty, prepare to witness to fall of your nation.

Magus claps his hands together, and the air became colder, a wave of snow materializing in midair, and roaring toward Lucca.

Lucca: (Being bowled over by the snow) My samurai, avenge me! Aveeenge meeeee!

Ayla, deciding to take out the biggest threat, hurled her gigantic snowball. As it came for him, Magus thrust his hand forward, causing it to fly backward onto the cavewoman. Both Ayla and Marle are crushed by the ball.

Frog: (Grabbing handfulls of snow) Demonic warlord, have at the!

Magus rose a fist into the air, and a gigantic golem appeared, made of snow. It leered over them, but Crono merely jumped up and sliced off its head. The beast fell forward though, covering Crono and Frog.

Magus: Now, it's just you and me.

Magus and Robo stare each other down. Somewhere, music from a western movie begins to play.

Robo: My name is R-66-Y. You killed my ruler. Prepare to die.

Magus: Your ruler was nothing but the ruler of a weak nation. It was bound to fall by my hand or another's.

Robo plunges his hands into the snow, but before he can make a wave, Magus preforms his spell. A hand rises from the snow, and bowls Robo over.

Magus on top of the vast snow mound that he'd buried all his friends under, and plants his scythe into its center like a flag.

Magus: I hereby proclaim this property of the Zealean Royal family. This land is now Zeal soil, and none other's!

Everybody: (Poking heads out of snow) All hail the Zealeans!

Everybody started laughing themselves silly. Even Magus chuckled a bit. Crono's mother appeared in the doorway of his house.

Mom: Crono, it's getting dark out. You and your friends come dry off by the fire!

The lot of them cold and wet (Except Magus) went into the house, and sat down in front of the fire, either on a chair, a footstool, or just on the floor.

Marle: Oh, we've gotta do that again.

Lucca: Yeah, but next time without Magic.

Magus: It's much more enjoyable with magic.

Robo: I must say, I found the battle to be most envigurating.

Mom: Hope you kids worked up an appitite.

Crono's mother walked into the room carrying a tray holding glasses, a carton of milk, a carton of eggnogg, a pitcher of water, and a big ol' plate of Christmas cookies.

Marle: Ooh! Cookies! Thanks, Mrs. Crono!

Frog: Egg-and-Grog-in-a-Noggin! My lady, you surely are the kindest of hosts!

Magus: Ugh. You drink that?

Frog: But of course, 'tis the best thing to warm one's bones. Care for a glass?

Magus: (pouring himself some water) Never. My men would drink it at my castle, but I never saw the taste in it. Thick Nordic swill.

Ayla: What these little things?

Marle: Those're cookies. Try 'em. They're great.

Ayla picked up a snowman and bit into it, then looked perplexed.

Ayla: This fruit or meat?

Lucca: It's baked.

Marle: Good, isn't it?

Ayla: Yeah, it good.

Mom: Won't you have some, Robo?

Robo: I do not require such things.

Mom: Oh, don't be like that. Lots of bad things happen to people when they stop eating.

Robo: Miss, I'm not an anorixic, I'm a robot.

Mom: You young people don't have to be afraid of how you look. If you want to change, starvation is no way to do it.

Robo: M'am, are you listening?

As this conversation goes on, Magus takes the milk carton and pours it onto the floor, holding it there with a minor levitation spell. It sort of looks like it's in an invisible saucer hovering off the floor. Alfador pads over and starts lapping it up.

Ayla: Oooh... Kitty for eat?

Magus: Hardly. She's my familiar.

Ayla: But she so big... I want eat!

Magus: (eyes glowing, in sinister voice) If you touch Alfador I will rip your soul out through all of the nerve endings on your body, and transmute it to a single small stone, which will be pounded upon by a weak demon weilding a hammer, until your unmoving- but fully conscious new body is worn into dust.

Ayla backs off.

Frog: I be surprised the lady could even understand thy speech.

Magus: While I was talking I was also channeling images of what this experience would be like into her brain.

Meanwhile, there's still a conversation going on between Robo and Crono's mother about Robo's "Disorder".

Robo: Madam, just look at me! I have extendable arms, a thruster in my back, and a laser cannon in my chest. What does that tell you about me!

Mom: Your image doesn't tell me anything. What matters is you, Robo. If your self-image is that bad, you should get help.

Robo sighs and takes a cookie, opens up his head, and drops it into his body.

Mom: There, don't you feel better. You may want to get some help to get your self-esteem up again. Just don't go and vomit it up later.

Crono's mom walks into the kitchen.

Robo: Crono, there is now no denying it- your mother is crazier then we are.

Crono shrugs and bites into a Christmas cookie.

Ayla: Crono's mother very weird. She make me dress in tight clothes...

Magus: Let's face it, we all had an unusual childhood to some extent.

Robo: Yes, Lucca's parents had that crisis to worry about, Marle was a Princess...

Lucca: You didn't have a childhood, did you, Robo?

Marle: Crono had this freaky mom, Magus's mom was a raving lunatic high on power...

Frog: Mine youth was fairly standard.

Magus: Only if you take out what was going on with you and Cyrus.

Frog: WHAT?

Magus: C'mon. His "Squire?" His "childhood friend?"

Frog: (Drawing Masamune) Hold thy tongue, Mage! Thy wish to insult the man who was nary my brother, then mine sword shalt run ye through!

Magus: (standing up, hands glowing with magic) Bring it on, tadpole. I still haven't settled the score from last time.

Mom: (From kitchen) Boys! I won't have rough-housing!

There's a short pause as Magus and Frog look at the door to the kitchen. They turn to each other, and sit back down.

Magus: (under his breath) Fucking Mary Poppins in an apron... why the hell did I even come to this shit-hole?

Marle: (Bubbly, as always) C'mon guys! Perk up! It's Christmas eve! Let's enjoy ourselves!

Hours pass. With little incident and thankfully nobody getting killed, night falls. We find the group still gathered in Crono's living room. Crono is at his Gamcube, clicking away at Megaman: Anniversary Collection. Everybody else was sitting around watching him progress, save Frog who was drunk on Eggnog.

Marle: Go fight Shadowman, Crono! You have the top thing.

Magus: What kind of ninja gets killed by a dance move?

Robo: I don't know, but I'm sure he's a more efficient fighter then Snakeman.

Lucca: Oh, yeah. I wonder what was he even supposed to do?

Marle: Talk to snakes, maybe?

Frog stood up suddenly, staggering.

Frog: I... I wanna say that I loveth all you lads and lassesesus...

Magus: Oh, god, the amphibian's drunk. What the hell now?

Frog: Ma-Marle, I've hathith shhhoptom ta tell you...

Marle: Umm...

Frog: I doth haff a hot flash for your ancestor. I wanna bringiff her to my hole and play leapfrog. If ye know wha I mean...

Magus: Damnit, Frog. Enough with the Eggnog.

Frog: That's it Magus! I've had hadth enough of you! First ye turn me into a frog and now you have no respect for Egg-and-grog-in-a-noggin-foggin-loggin...

Frog pulls out the Masamune, but drops it and snickers at his own clumsyness.

Frog: Heheheh... Oh, I loveth you guys!

Crono's mom walks in, holding several pairs of pajamas.

Mom: Okay everybody, time for bed.

Lucca: What? It's only 9:30!

Mom: The sooner you get to bed the sooner Santa gets here!

Crono and Marle run up and snatch their pajamas.

Lucca: (under her breath) Can't believe they still believe in Santa C-

Frog staggers up to Crono's mom and points at her face.

Frog: YOU are crazy lazdy! Y-you're loonier then a toon...

Mom: Oh, Mr. Frog, that's so sweet. Why don't you get up to bed.

Frog: Oh, miss you're so kind... I promise to be th' best father I can t' little Crono...

Lucca grabs Frog and drags him toward the stairs.

Lucca: C'mon! Let's just get you to bed so you can pass out in peace.

Mom: 'Night, Night.

Cut to the middle of the night. Marle is asleep in Crono's bed, and Crono and Lucca are in sleeping bags. Ayla is curled up on Crono's floor next to his cat, and Frog was dropped into the bathtub to sober up. Magus and Robo are downstairs in the living room, chatting away. Magus is sitting on the couch, his legs propped up on the coffee table, Alfador in his lap. Robo is on a near-by recliner, laid-back. The only light in the room comes from the christmas tree.

Robo: So why did you come here?

Magus: It's a long story. Let's not get into it...

Crono's mom walks in, dressed in a bathrobe.

Mom: Shouldn't you two be in bed?

Robo: I only require recharging once every 96 hours, granted that I do not output any excess amount of energy.

Magus: If I don't cast any particularly strong spells, I can usually go for a week or so without sleep.

Mom: (Obliviously) Oh, well aren't you the big boys with late bedtimes.

Short pause.

Magus: (Under his breath) No wonder Crono's a mute. Who knows what kind of complexes he has after this woman brought him up.

Crono's mom sat down in a nearby rocking chair.

Mom: It's so nice to get to know Crono's friends. Tell me about yourselves.

Robo leaned back in his chair.

Robo: I was a prototype for the R-Series before the great cataclysm. I was the prototype meant for intellectual purposes, the "Prometheus" model. My seven counterparts all had their own functions, but during the events of the great cataclysm of 1999, I was shut down and all the humans in my dome were killed. I was found by Lucca in the year 2300 A.D. and she reactivated me with her comrades, and we all moved forth to destroy Lavos. Afterwards, we found my counterparts who had been infected with a serious virus, and we were forced to kill them. However, with Lavos's death, the future altered and my counterparts, or siblings, had all recovered from their infections and we didn't have to kill them. Or rather they didn't recover, so much as they were never infected at all. It's all very complicated.

Mom: (Obliviously) How nice. You'll have to introduce me to your siblings sometime. to Magus What about your family?

Magus: Long story short- Dad died before birth. Mother's power-hungry royal bitch. Sister's sweet. Get thrown through time warp. Adopted into Monster society. Become their Messiah. Go back home via another time warp. Mother sells soul to devil. I kill mother. Sister still alive. Looking for sister.

Mom: Oh, I hope that works out for you.

Crono's Mom leans back in her chair.

Magus: Heh... You're a good woman. I never had a mom like you.

Robo: I never had a mom, period.

Mom: C'mon now, I'm sure your mothers love you both.

Magus: My sister would say that. I, however, have more pragmatic views on the matter.

Robo: I have my siblings, and we have love for each other. I surely think that we would have love for our mother, too.

Mom: A mother's love is instict. It is natural for a mother to love the child that comes from her felsh. I think that even if there were an argument of some kind that love will always be there. Even if you were to try purposely to repress it.

There is a short pause.

Magus: Sitting in that chair like that, you sounded just like a girl I know...

Mom: You boys are so friendly. What're your names?

Robo: I'm Prometheus. That was the project name of my model. Your son likes the name Robo, though.

Magus: Janus. Just Janus.

Mom: Well then, Prometheus, Janus, I think it's about time you two got to bed. Santa won't come until you're asleep, you know.

Robo: But--

Magus smiles slightly, and looks over to Robo.

Magus: Prometheus, you could do with a little bit of charge-time, couldn't you.

Robo: ... Of course.

Crono's mom stands up, happily.

Mom: That's just great. Stand up now, Magus. That couch folds right out...

Magus stands up, holding Alfador to not wake her, and Crono's Mom folds the couch out for them.

Mom: There you go. You need Pajamas? I don't-

Magus: What we're wearing should be fine.

Robo: Yes.

Mom: Okay, then. The Christmas lights won't bother you, will they?

Robo: Stasis mode is unaffected by light or sound.

Mom: How about you, Janus?

Magus: The lights... they actually look very nice. My sister had...

Short pause, Magus looks uncomfortable.

Magus: They're fine. Let's just go to sleep.

Magus takes off his armor and other such clothes, and he and Robo get under the covers. Crono's Mom gives them one sweet look before going upstairs.

Mom: Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Crono's mom walks up to her room. There's a short pause between Magus and Robo as they lie in bed together.

Magus: I think she suffered a stroke at some point. That's probably it.

Robo: She's very sweet, though.

Magus: Yeah. Yeah.

Robo: I just hope I don't oil-stain the sheets. My joints are greased up pretty good.

Magus: Eh, she'll just think you wet the bed.

Robo: Most likely.

They turn over and go to sleep. The seven time-travelers lie back, and dream...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Nadia peered out of the window of the carriage, standing up on the seat so she could see. The castle was in the distance.

Nadia: Papa, how much longer 'til we get there?

Gaurdia: Not too much, dear. Just sit back.

Nadia sat back into her carriage seat and looked up at her father who was standing next to her.

Nadia: Papa, when we get there, can I go catch fireflies?

Gaurdia: No, Nadia. It's already late enough as it is. You should be in bed right now.

Nadia: Aw, but I'm not tired.

Gaurdia: You'll be asleep by the time we get home. Mark my words.

Nadia: Will not.

Gaurdia: Oh, you want a bet, young lady? I saw you yawning back when we passed over the bridge.

Nadia: But I can't go to sleep yet. I wanna story.

Gaurdia: Story, eh? Have you ever heard of the Three Brothers?

Nadia: Oooh. What's that about?

Gaurdia: Well, once upon a time, there was a very wise king...

Nadia: Just like you, papa!

Gaurdia chuckles.

Gaurdia: I suppose so... Anyway, his daughter was coming of age, and he wanted her to get married, and there were three brothers, who...

Gaurdia trails on about the seperate journeys of the three brothers, but Nadia nods off before they buy the first of the gifts.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Taban dragged Lucca into his lab, holding her by the upper-arm. The girl was pouting angrilly.

Lucca: Daddy, I dun wanna wear glasses. They make me look stupid.

Taban: Lucca, the doctor says you need to wear glasses now, like it or not.

Lucca: But can't you just fix my eyes, somehow, like give them a surgery or something?

Taban: Lucca...

Taban sits Lucca onto a chair and looks at her.

Taban: Lucca, your mother had to wear glasses when she was a girl.

Lucca: Did her eyes get better?

Taban: Well, yes, but we don't know if yours will or not.

Lucca: Oh, but I dun wanna-

Taban: I know, but your eyes kept hurting when you were trying to read, right?

Lucca: I... I guess...

Taban: Well, it's going to be hard for you to read like that, until you start wearing glasses, understand?

Lucca: Yeah, but.. but won't kids make fun of me?

Taban: If they do, who needs them? Crono doesn't make fun of you.

Lucca: No...

Taban: So, will you wear the glasses?

Short pause.

Lucca: If I do, will you take me by the library?

Taban: It's a deal.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Glenn peered at the older boy from behind a tree. He gathered up his courage and approached him.

Glenn: Cyrus?

Cyrus: Oh, hey Glenn. Where've you been today?

Glenn: Cyrus... Will you teach me swordplay?

Cyrus: I thought you said that you didn't want to fight.

Glenn: Yeah, but all the other kids... They practice swordplay... and...

Cyrus: Oh, is that it... Why do you feel like you need to be like the other kids?

Glenn: They... make fun of me... I thought if I were more like them, they'd... y'know... they'd stop...

Cyrus: You shouldn't learn swordplay simply to relate to other kids. It's not right.

Glenn: But... I...

Short pause.

Cyrus: But then again, it might be good for you.

Glenn: Really?

Cyrus: Yeah. It might get your esteem up.

Glenn: So you'll teach me?

Cyrus: Sure... C'mon, we gotta get some training blades.

Glenn: We're not gonna use real swords?

Cyrus: No, wooden ones are much better. They're safer when you're still...

Cyrus's voice fades off as they walk toward the town.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Atrospus: Prometheus?

Atropus walked into the central information-station and approached her counterpart, who was sitting before the main moniter.

Atropus: Prometheus, what are you doing?

Prometheus: I am downloading history cubes into my database. I find it most invigorating, to learn of the past actions of humans. Dwelling on them is very different from preforming technological research.

Atropus: May I try?

Prometheus turns to Atropus.

Prometheus: This does not compute.

Atropus: I beg pardon?

Prometheus: It is natural for me to gather information. It is my function. I was built to collect data and create both cybernetic and biological objects. You are a battledroid. You were created to end wars quickly and efficently. Why do you have interest in something that is not your primary or secondary function?

Atropus: I do not know. Perhaps it is because it involves you.

Prometheus: Perhaps... You are quite welcome to join me... I was looking into archeological cubes...

Atropus: I would like very much to take part.

Atropus walks forward and sits beside Robo. She plugs into the computer.

Computer: Until recently, a large ancient building has been underwater. This building is estimated to be 1,500 years old. It appears to be a surprisingly sophisticated shrine, filled with carvings and drawings of the sun...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The rabbit sniffed the ground, feasting on the grass. The day was windy, and the scents were being whirled about everywhere. A sudden rustle was heard, and he perched his head up. He stared out at the direction of the noise. Then, suddenly, the girl pounced on him from behind. She gripped him tightly, and quickly snapped his neck, killing him quickly before he could escape. Still crouched, she looked at its limp body.

A wide, slightly stupid-looking grin spread over her face. She'd down it. She'd made her first kill. Yes, it was a rabbit, nothing like the boars or even reptiles that her father would pull back to camp on a regular basis, but it was something. She picked it up, and ran quickly to camp. She spotted her mother walking to their rut.

Ayla: Mama! Mama, look what Ayla catch.

Leena bent down and picked up the rabbit.

Leena: Heh.. Fine catch Ayla! We can eat this tonight.

Leena reaches down and rustles Ayla's hair. The girl grins again, proud of herself.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Schala, now fully clothed in her nightgown, looked at the gift Melchoir gave her from her bed. It was on her desk, a device Melchoir made using a candle and some dreamstone he had in stock. It was a dreamstone orb on a stand, the candle light inside. The stone had a spell on it, dreamstone being highly suspect to spells, so it's light would expand and fill the room, but remain dim, soft, and gentle. While the color would usually remain red, Dreamstone's natural color, it would also shift slowly, to orange, yellow, green, blue, violet...

She was interrupted by her thoughts by a knock at her door. She turned toward it.

Schala: Come in.

The door opened a tiny bit, and she could see a single, teary violet eye looking at her through the crack.

Janus: Ne... Ne-chan?

Schala: Janus? What's the matter?

Janus opened the door, and closed it behind him. His kitten, Alfador, padded around his feet. Schala blinked. She'd put the four-year-old to bed a few hours ago. He walked a little farther into her room, sniffing, and looking not only afraid, but also embarrsed and slightly ashamed.

Janus: I... I had a scary dream...

Schala: You wanna sleep with me?

Janus looks away, embarrassed.

Janus: I... I might wet...

Schala: You're getting alot better about that now.

Janus shyly gets under the covers Alfador jumping onto the bed and curling up after him. Janus sniffs loudly.

Janus: I... I dreampt I was with Mama... but she was different... she had a big eye for a face ... an-an' her hair was spikes, an' she shoved somebody next to me... an' he fell down an' broke... like a doll... an' then it started raining blood... an'

Schala wraps her arms around Janus,

Schala: Hey now, it's okay. It was just a dream. It can't hurt you. You're safe here with me...

Janus is silent for a moment.

Janus: Thanks, ne-chan... I'm sorry I woke you up...

Schala: There's nothing wrong with it. I was just going to bed anyway.

They both lie in silence for a moment.

Janus: Ne-chan?

Schala: Hm?

Janus: That light is really pretty...

Schala: Yes, I think so too.

Janus nods off quickly, curled up near Schala.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Crono opened his eyes. He looked around at his friends sleeping in his room, and walked downstairs. He looked at the X-Mas tree, and then noticed Magus and Robo sleeping on the fold-out couch, with some speculation.

Mom: They were tired.

Crono turns around. His mom's at the top of the stairs in her bathrobe.

Mom: It's good to see you bring your friends around here. Seems like this is the first time I've seen you hanging around with anyone but Lucca.

Crono blushes slightly.

Mom: These friends of yours are very sweet. I think they're a very positive influence on you. You better get back up to bed.

Crono walks to the stairs, and kisses his mother on the cheek on the way. He then heads upstairs, and his mother follows. There is a short pause in the empty living room.

There's a hiss outside. The Krampus looks in through the window, and searching for evil to scorn. Soot falls from the chimney and Saint Nicholas falls into the fireplace, and holds his head up merrily. He fills the stockings, places the gifts, and opens the window to share the cookies with his partner. He then goes up the chimney and to his seld. He rides into the night sky, while the Krampus follows on foot.

Santa: Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Krampus: Damnit, Nick! Do you really have to say after every house we come to?

Santa: Sorry.

The next morning. Christmas Day.

Marle opens her eyes, and zings up into sitting position.

Marle: It's... It's morning. Santa was here...

Marle lets out a happy squeal, waking up all in the room.

Lucca: ARGH! My ears!

Marle: Lucca! It's Christmas! We can open presents!

Lucca: I think my lobes are bleeding.

Crono taps on Marle's shoulder and points to the carpet, where Ayla had been curled up the night before.

Marle: Huh. Where'd she go?

Lucca: Well, she better not have left the house, because I'm not going out into the cold, cold, snow to track down a big-busted cavewoman through town on Christmas Morning.

Marle: Maybe she's downstairs.

The three of them go downstairs. Frog is on his feet in front of the christmas tree, with a godawful hangover. Robo is patting him on the back, and Magus is watching, amused.

Frog: ACH! The pounding! The pounding! Is as if mine skull had a demon within, weilding a hammer unto my brain!

Robo: It's nothing that serious.

Magus: God, I haven't seen anything this funny since Gaspar threw all that tomato juice on Spekkio, and then we found out he was allergic to tomatoes.

Marle: Hey, has anybody seen Ayla?

Robo: As a matter of fact-

Ayla suddenly bursts in from outside, kicking the door off its hindges. A dead killer whale is slung over her shoulder which she heaves onto the floor.

Magus: What the hell is that?

Ayla: It Ayla's big gift for her friends!

Lucca: You're giving us Willy's corpse?

Ayla: Woke up early! Had dream about first hunt! So Ayla go out at dawn and capture biggest animal she find! We cut and cook and have heap big feast!

Marle: Aw, but it's a whale...

Lucca: I think you should be more worried about what Crono's Mom is going to say when she comes down and sees Shamu wet and bleeding on her carpet.

Frog runs to the door and vomits on the front step.

Lucca: And an amphibian blowing chunks on her stoop.

Frog walks back to the tree.

Frog: I be feeling slightly better now...

Marle: Hooray! Let's open presents!

Mom: (From upstairs) Hold on, you kids!

Crono's mom walks downstairs to the living room.

Mom: In this house we don't-

Crono's mom catches sight of the whale on the floor. There's a short pause, when she suddenly laughs.

Mom: Oh, you crazy kids. Anyway, in this house we have breakfast first. C'mon, I've got a roast in the oven for us...

Crono's mom walks into the kitchen.

Frog: Roast for breakfast?

Magus: She things a whale carcass on her living room rug is a childish antic. I don't think eating a Christmas Roast for breakfast is really that unusual by comparison.

They all head into the dining room and sit down at the table. Crono's mom walks in with the roast.

Mom: Okay, let's eat.

Ayla: Okay! We have fish for dinner!

Mom: Now then, who's doing the carving?

Both Magus and Frog stand up. They lock eyes.

Magus: You sit down, tongue-boy. I'm carving this meat.

Frog: Nay, I say, mage. This meat is to be cut by none other then Glenn of Guardia.

Magus: It'll be hard for you to hold the carving knife with those webbed hands of yours.

Frog: Them be words of fighting!

They pull out their weapons.

Mom: How'd you like to carve the roast, Mister Prometheus?

Robo: Um... okay.

Magus and Frog, who where about to kill each other stop, and sit back down.

Robo begins cutting up meat and serving it, until everybody has a piece.

Magus: Wait, before we consume, I believe a toast is in order to our gracious hostess.

Robo: Yes...

Robo stands up and raises a glass ceremoniously.

Robo: To Mrs... Um... Crono's Mother. She took us in, gave us bedding, and has graciously allowed us to stay in her home despite all the insanity we brought in our wake. To give us such hospitality on Christmas day makes her such a fair and nice hostess.

They all touch glasses and dig in. Dinner passes with little incident, save Ayla getting whacked from time to time by Crono's mom over lack of table manners. Once the meal was over...

Marle: Presents?

Mom: Yes, dear. Presents.

Marle: WEEE!

Marle runs into the living room where the tree is. The others follow to find Alfador and Crono's cat munching on a corner of the dead whale.

Lucca: Aw... Kitties.

Ayla: Cats eat... Cats eat Ayla's present!

Ayla starts to run toward them.

Magus: (Eyes glowing) Rock. Soul. Hammer. Eroding. Eternity.

Ayla stops in her tracks.

Marle: OOO! Open mine first, Crono!

Frog: Aye! Let the lad go first!

Marle hands Crono a small flat package which he wraps quickly. Inside is a home-burnt CD.

Marle: I know these are some of your favorite songs, so-

Mom: I'll take that.

Crono hands the CD to his mom.

Marle: Umm...

Lucca: (Under her breath) It's cool. Crono's mom just likes to moniter his music selection

Marle: (Under her breath) She really runs a tough house, doesn't she?

Magus: Let's get my gift out of the way.

Magus reaches into his cloak and from out of nowhere, produces six small packages.

Magus: I was going to get you thing you needed, like giving the boy a comb, and the cavewoman an education, but I decided to save time and make some quicky gifts.

Lucca: (Sarcastically) Oh, how thoughtfull. I guess this shows how much-

Lucca unwraps her gift, revealing that strange orb-and-candle creation that Schala had. The room becomes filled with pretty colors.

Lucca: ...Wow...

Marle: (Finding she has one too) Oh, Magus! It's beautiful.

Magus: After we destroyed the Mammoth Machine, which was built from Dreamstone, and the Black Omen fell into the sea, Dreamstone has been washing up on beaches non-stop. I just used magic to sculpt it and put in some everlasting candles-

Ayla: Ball pretty! Ball be great on cold nights!

Frog: Aye, cavewoman! Such a great gift is truely unusual for one such as you, mage.

Marle: Oh, Magus! You do care about us! This proves it even more!

Magus: Are you people listening? It's a few candles, a magic spell, and some crap I found on the beach! It was either that or I give you all those new "Mogwai" pets everybody's been buying in my time period.

Marle: Well, it's still very sweet! (Holds up present) Here you go, Magus. I hope you like it!

Grumbling, Magus unwraps his gift revealing a large leather-bound book.

Marle: It's a scrap-book of all the times we spent together! So when you meet Schala you can show her and tell her about all our adventures!

Magus begins to flip through the book, which has pictures of the night in the forest, the resurrection of Crono, and various other events.

Magus: Huh... I like it...

Lucca: Weird. What'd you get everybody, Robo?

Robo: I'd like my gift to be kept quiet until the end.

Ayla: Oooh! What you get?

Frog: No, cave-woman. Let him keep his secrets. We shalt discover them shortly.

Lucca: Here Crono, try this gift.

Crono opens his gift, revealing a small black box with a handle and a speaker.

Lucca: It's a voice box. They give them to people with lung cancer. You hold the handle up to your throat and it reads your vocal cord and trachea movements to create speech.

Frog: Lucca... do you mean this device can give Crono the power of speech!

Lucca: Yup.

Frog: Dear god! The possibilities! After years of silence, words may finally escape his lips, so that we might heareth his thoughts! Thinkith of the complexities within his consciousness.

Magus: (monotone) The secret to making your hair look like a rat's nest. The mind boggles.

Lucca: C'mon, Crono! Give it a try!

Crono raises the voice box to his throat.

Crono: (Through voice box) H... hello?

Marle: Oh my god! He's talking!

Crono: (Without voice box) Um... you people do relealize I could talk the whole time, right?

Everybody but Lucca and Crono's Mom stares.

Marle: You... you can?

Crono: Yeah. I just don't like to.

Lucca: Is it any different with the voice box?

Crono: Not really. Sorry.

Magus: Why the hell didn't you talk while we were fighting Lavos?

Crono: (Shrugs)

Frog: Ach. Anyway, let me give out a gift.

Frog picks up a forest green sack. He pulls out a large, heavy package.

Frog: This one's for... Ayla.

Ayla: OOH! Ayla want gift!

Ayla rips the paperey wrapping off her gift violently.

Frog: 'Tis an Anvil.

Ayla: What it do?

Frog: 'Tis a forging object with which you make build weapons..

Ayla: Ayla get it! Ayla hit prey with heavy rock!

Frog: NAY! You usith it-

Lucca: Damnit Frog, let them get to the Bronze Age first.

Frog: Fine... And here, Robo. A gift for you!

Robo unwraps his gift carefully.

Frog: I noticed that thine paint-job be getting chipped and faded, so I didith get thou a fresh can.

Robo: How thoughtful. I always like a new coat of paint.

Magus: It'll look good on you, goldenrod.

Lucca: It'll go great with my gift to you, Robo!

Lucca hands Robo a large package that he unwraps.

Robo: Is this a buffer?

Lucca: Yeah. It'll give you that nice sleak spit-shine you need.

Frog: And here's a little something for you, lass.

Lucca: This better be some- OH!

Lucca unwraps a small ruby. Her eyes go wide.

Lucca: Is this... Real?

Frog: Aye. 'Tis a ruby I found once on mine travels with Cyrus. And here, Crono. A gift for ye...

Crono unwraps a large book.

Frog: A book upon swordplay. It contains training methods, sharpening modes, and other such ways to make ye a better swordman.

Lucca: (Under her breath to Crono) That went out of print back in the 700s. Hawk it on eBay.

Frog: And finally, to my dear lass, I giveth this small keepsake of mine esteem and affection.

Marle unwraps a small decorative box. She opens it...

Frog: 'Tis your ancestor's coral hairpin. She was most pleased to give it up for you.

Marle: Cool...

Frog moves over to Magus.

Frog: Mage, I brought nothing for you, due to the fact that I hate you, and I wasn't expecting you to give any gifts. Much less one as splendid as this...

Magus: For the last time, I just copped out on buying gifts!

Lucca: Here Frog, a little something from me...

Frog unwraps a box containing a large green cloak.

Lucca: I know your last traveling cloak got ripped up in the fight with Lavos, so...

Frog: Young lass, ye be so kind.

Crono, meanwhile, was handing a gift to Marle.

Marle: For me, Crono?

Robo:What is it, Crono?

Marle eagerly unwraps a small necklace, made from sapphires with a large rainbow pendent in the middle.

Marle: Oh, Crono...

Lucca: He had Melchoir make it up with some gems he got in the Preshistoric era and what was left of the Rainbow shell.

Marle: Crono, I love you!

Marle throws herself around Crono as he hands a gift to Lucca.

Lucca: Ooh... (Unwrapping) What have we- AH! Crono! The new book by Stephen Hawking! "Existance In a Nutshell- The Thoughts of Stephen Hawking dumbed down for Your Puny Mortal Comprehension." This is great! Oh, here Magus. I got you a book, too.

Magus unwraps the book and stares at the cover.

Marle: What book is it Magus?

Magus: (annoyed) "Kindness for the Bitter Man- How to live happily with yourself and others."

Robo: Um... Lucca, it's not a good idea to give self-help books as Christmas presents.

Frog: Aye, but 'tis something he needs.

Marle: Here, Frog. This's something I found at the castle.

Marle hands Frog a huge package, which turns out to be...

Frog: L...lass, where did you get this?

Marle: It was in the library of the castle.

Lucca: What is it?

Lucca looks over Frog's shoulder. It's a large oil painting of the old 600 A.D. King Guardia and Queen Leene. Beside them is their greatest knight, Cyrus, and his squire, Glenn.

Crono, meanwhile hands Ayla a package of her own.

Ayla: This for me? Oh, what's this note?

Magus grabs a note on the package.

Magus: "I don't deserve full credit for this. I asked Spekkio to pick out an outfit like what you normally wear, but that would be more comfortable and last longer. He ordered it online and delivered it here before I went to get you.

Ayla: OH! Crono, I try it on right now!

Ayla runs off to a changing room. Marle hands a present to Lucca.

Marle: Here ya go! I think you and Magus are the only people who can put it to really good use.

Lucca wraps a gun-like object.

Lucca: What is it?

Marle: It's a Zealian thing I found in the castle basement. I thought you might want it for research.

Magus: Hmm...

Lucca: You know what it is?

Magus: No, but it seems like I've seen it somewhere before...

Lucca: Really? I wonder what it does...

Lucca starts tinkering with the gun while Magus starts thinking out loud.

Magus: Dalton built it, if I'm not mistaken. They confiscated it though... I asked Schala what it did, but I think she told me that I didn't need to know...

Lucca: Just about got it working...

Magus: I think I was the Prophet at the time that the Queen confiscated it. She might have told me what it was... we were drinking at her private bar... she said something about...

Lucca: There we go.

Lucca shoots Marle with it.

Lucca: Oops... Uh... Marle, you okay?

Marle looks kind of confused for a minute. Then she gets a slightly scary look on her face.

Lucca: Marle?

Marle: Lucca, I never noticed how smooth your skin was...

Lucca: ...What?

Magus: Now, I remember. That's the lustofication-gun.

Lucca: THE WHAT?

Magus: If you shoot somebody weak-minded with it, it has the cupid's arrow effect, and they fall madly in love with you.

Mom: Oh, well isn't this nice? I'm gonna go get camera...

Lucca: But... but I don't want Marle in love with me!

Magus: I think he had a cancel setting in case he shot some old lady.

Marle: Oh, Lucca... You're under the misletoe...

Lucca: (looking at gun furiously) Where's the cancel setting at, then?

Marle lurches forward slowly, and suddenly lunges. She wraps her arms around Lucca and plants a big one on the lips, right as Crono's mom snaps a shot of them with her camera. Lucca shoves Marle away and shoots her with the cancelation-ray.

Lucca: Oh, god, that was the most humiliating moment of my life...

Crono: (In quiet voice, to his mom) Uh... hey, Ma, once you get those developed, do you think you could get some extra prints for me, so I could get a copy of that one shot?

Frog: (Also in quiet voice) Aye, dear lass... such an image would be nice to preserve...

Robo: I would like that photograph as well.

Magus, Crono, and Frog all stare at Robo.

Robo: Is something wrong?

Magus: I didn't know robots... did that.

Robo: Did what? I think the photograph was funny.

Frog: Oh... so ye does not...

Mom: Don't worry guys. I'm getting enough prints to send to everybody.

Lucca slowly starts laughing...

Frog: What 'tis so humorous lass?

Lucca: Ever since grade school, everybody has made fun of me because of my plain body, nerdy hair, and huge glasses. Crono was my only real friend, but once Christmas Break is over and high-school starts again, I'll make every man my total slave, leaving all those ice queens high-and-dry! All of their boyfriends will rub my feet, and I'll rub the sexual acts I get out of it in their faces! We'll see how those cheerleader bitches like it then! With this gun, I am socially invincible!

As Lucca goes into a maniacal laugh, Ayla bursts in with the outfit Crono got her.

Ayla: Happily Look what Crono give me!

The outfit is a bra-and-panty set, similar to her bikini, but much more... revealing. It's made of black lace and is just see-through enough to not show anything... The bottom is particuarly showing.

Marle: (Holding bow angrilly) C...crono...

Ayla: Ayla like outfit, but it seem too small in chest...

Mom: (Holding broom angrily) Young lady...

Ayla: Um...

Mom: (Demonically) Didn't I tell you not to dress like that in my house?

Ayla: (subdued voice) Yes'm...

Ayla shys back into the bathroom to change as Marle points her crossbow between Crono's eyes.

Marle: (Angrilly) What was it Crono? Ayla wasn't skippily dressed enough for you!

Robo: Uh... Marle, keep in mind that Spekkio picked that outfit out.

Crono gratefully tosses Robo a package, which he unwraps to find...

Robo: Ah, I have heard many positive things about this novel. "Do Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?" Very good Sci-Fi story I hear.

Marle: Open mine now, Robo!

Robo rips open a small DVD.

Robo: "The Ghost in the Shell?"

Marle: I know you like Sci-Fi stories, so I thought...

Lucca: Here's a thought- why does Robo like so much science fiction when he lives in the year 2300 A.D.?

Marle: Um... because it's about the future?

Lucca: (Sigh) Here.

Lucca tosses Marle her own present, a snowglobe containing a tiny replica of Leene Square.

Marle: Oh, Lucca!

Lucca: Yeah, I saw you eyeing it at the store...

Ayla walks back in, edging around Crono's mother. Lucca picks up a tiny flat gift and hands it to her.

Lucca: Here you go Ayla. I know you'll find this usefull.

Ayla rips off the packaging to find a large book.

Ayla: What this?

Lucca: It's a book on the animals best for hunting and techniques for survival that you can use in the coming Ice Age.

Ayla flips through the book, bewildered.

Lucca: Um... you read the words and...

Magus: Don't bother. Literature is beyond her comprehension. You'd have been better off giving her a club to bludeon people with.

Crono walks up to Magus and hands him a tiny package.

Magus: What have we here, eh?

Magus unwraps a hand-held black box with a built-in screen.

Robo: Ah, that's Tetris. It's a type of puzzle.

Magus: A puzzle?

Robo: You see the falling blocks on the screen? You line them up to make a complete horizontal line.

Magus: What the hell I'll give it a shot...

Magus starts playing his little hand-held as Crono hands a package to Frog.

Frog: Oh, lad. I wonder what this might be...

Frog unwraps a large wooden frame. It's sturdy but somewhat chipped and looks as through Crono carved it himself.

Frog: I say Crono, what a lovely rack!

Lucca: (snicker)

Marle: What is it?

Frog: 'Tis a sword-rack! I can hang all my blades at the same place on my wall.

Marle: OH! Open my gift, Ayla!

Ayla takes the small jewelry box Marle hands her, and opens it to find a gold-chain necklace with a large diamond pendent hanging from it.

Ayla: Ooooh...

Frog: I say, Marle, you be giving that to Ayla?

Marle: Yeah, she's the world's first ruler after all.

Robo: Hmm... that looks familiar...

Magus: (not looking up from Tetris) Huh? You saw something?

Robo: That gift that Marle gave Ayla.

Magus looks up from Tetris for a minute.

Magus: OH, that's Schala's pendent.

Robo: Wha... what!

Magus: Yeah, about 50 years before the Zealian Continant ascended, the pendent was damaged when the capital city was invaded. The diamond was replaced with dreamstone soon afterwards.

Robo: So Marle just created a necklace that's already been around for 65 Million years?

Magus: Apparently so.

Mom: That's all the gifts except the ones from me and from Santa. Don't you wanna hand out your presents now, Robo?

Robo: Indeed!

Robo picks up a large box, which he opens. From inside he takes out...

Robo: Laptop computers for everybody!

Everybody stares, save Magus, who's still playing Tetris.

Magus: Dear god, this is compelling. I can't look away...

Lucca: What's the big deal about a laptop?

Robo: Lucca, these are laptops from the future. They are several times faster then the most advanced super-computer of this time. They are solar-powered, so just leaving them in the sun for an hour produces days worth of energy, but the best thing about them is the corporal AIM I installed.

Frog: Corporal aim?

Robo: This will allow us to message one another in our different time periods.

Marle: ROBO! This is the best present ever! We can stay in touch forever with these!

Frog: Aye. We can even arrange a get-together for New Years.

Magus: (Not looking up from Tetris) Okay, but don't think I'll be making any resolutions.

Robo: You seem to be playing that alot.

Magus: It's highly addictive.

Mom: Merry Christmas, everybody.

Crono: Yes, God bless us. Everyone.

Magus: You don't spurt out cheesy lines like that everytime you talk, do you?

Heh. One of the best stories I've done I think. I'm quite pleased with how it came out. Please- tell me what you think in a review. All are welcome, even flames. I'd love to hear from you...