CHPT 4 G.R.O.A.N

Kiba was walking out of the local pet supply with one arm full of Akamaru's food and his other hand holding the local paper talking about Sakura being a princess of the nation that supplies 90 of all food pills, fancy flowers, perfumes, and practically all medical herbs. Then, as Kiba was turning the corner in the alleyway, a dark shadow beckoned him to come.

Kiba: "Please let this be an answer to my prayers. Please let this be an affordable hooker. I SERIOUSLY can't find any anywhere. Oh s#, it's only Naruto. Hey, I could ask him to do the sexy no jutsu. EW! Wait, I'm thinking of Naruto naked (as a woman), but EWW!"

As Naruto waited to talk to Kiba, he noticed that Kiba seemed very disturbed by something, though he didn't pay much attention to that.

"Hey, Kiba, I need your help to save Sakura." Naruto said.

Kiba: "Save Sakura from what? Seems like she's pretty well off: She's got royalty, a soon-to-be husband (even though he's really creepy), and everybody sucking up to her. WHY should we save her?"

Naruto: "Because we all know that Neji and Sakura don't belong together and Sakura doesn't need this kind of punishment. Also, who'd really mind if we were to "mess" Neji up a little?"

Kiba: "Who's WE? I don't know of any WE! The only we I know is the two men alone in a dark alley…ALONE!"

Naruto: "Calm down. See, we're trying to find a way of stopping the marriage between

Neji and Sakura."

Kiba: "Again with this we business. WHO THE F IS WE!"

Naruto (a little too calmly): "The G.R.O.A.N. organization."

Kiba (dumbstruck): "G.R.O.A.N."

Naruto: "Get Rid Of Awful Neji" Naruto then said pleadingly: "Please, just come to my place tonight at 6:30. It's for a good cause and you won't be the only one there."

As soon he heard that he wouldn't be the only person there at Naruto's apartment, Kiba agreed.

Kiba: "Alright, Sakura has been nice to me; and Neji is so creepy with his talk of "destiny"(and his eyes—I always think he's looking through my clothes with those eyes) and such. So I'll come. But, what if the Anbu, the police, or the two hot-blonde chicks come or something?"

Naruto: "Don't worry, (Waves his hand in the motion of a Jedi mind-trick) you won't know anything."

Kiba (in a hypnotized voice): "I won't know anything."

Naruto: "COOL! This Works! I gotta so do this to Kakashi and see if he would let me read one of his books. (Runs off) Bye Kiba! See ya tonight at 6:30! Icha Icha Paradaisu, here I come!" Naruto ran off, leaving a G.R.O.A.N. flyer behind.


First meeting of G.R.O.A.N.

At 6: 30, all of our favorite characters were there, which included Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Lee, Gaara, Temari, Kankurou, and Kakashi, although Kakashi had Ruroni Kenshin eyes, and was acting like as if he was in a trance. While everyone was talking about the problem of Sakura marrying Neji, Naruto looked up from Icha Icha Paradaisu and called the organization to order.

" Wow, so many of you guys came." Naruto said, " I almost thought that meeting you all in a dark alley would've scared you all off. First order of business is…uh, Tenten, why are you here again?"

Tenten: " I don't want to "Get rid of" Neji, I just don't want to have him marry Sakura."

Naruto (obviously not paying attention): "uh,…Okay! Now, for my plan A, first we use our Sexy-No-Jutsu to lure Neji away and push him of a cliff!"

Everyone: '…baka…'

Naruto: "okay, well, then we just lure him away with the S.N.J.-always thought he was a closet perv- and ship him off to Cambodia until the wedding...where ever that is! Yes, Shino?"

Shino: " Who's gonna lure Neji away? You? Hahahahahahah!( obviously appears to be happy with this sucky comment)"

Naruto: "Not just me-all the guys out here(smirks and gives a thumbs up). I'll teach you-tomorrow at the local forest."

Ino: " So, what do you expect us girls to do?"

Naruto thought for a bit, then said: "I suggest you comfort Sakura, and when I have another idea, act like nothing's happened, and try to learn the Hana Anbu's weaknesses."


The next day…

Naruto, in a green general costume in front of a chalkboard: "I'm glad to see that all you guys came here today…"

Shikamaru: "We didn't want to come, you went through the troublesome blackmail setup to bring us here."

Naruto: "Don't worry, I'll give you those pictures of Ino and you back after thismaybe. Getting past that…you know why else you're here! So shall we begin? (Crickets sound in the back round) alright, here's the steps for the move: (Moves towards the chalkboard, which has badly doodled drawings)

1) Find your inner woman-picture what you'd look like if you were a hot and sexy woman

2) Make a ram seal for transformation, then

3) Strike a sexy pose!

(Turns towards the crowd of male genins) Now all of you guys (Kankurou, Gaara, Lee, Sasuke, Chouji, Shikamaru, Kiba, Shino, and Kakashi-still in a trance- stand up wearily), try to do these steps.

Lee (in one of his hyper brownnoser modes): "Ooh! Ooh! Wait; I can't do these types of moves so can I go?"

Naruto: "Yes, Lee, you can go, but I know everyone else can do these moves! Now let's see how you guys do."

Sasuke: "Before we start, won't we be nude when we change?"

Naruto (surprised by this question): "So?"

Sasuke: "Why we gotta be nude? Can't we have clothes on or something?"

Naruto: "Hmm. Never thought about that."

Sasuke: "I'm not surprised, but even so I brought some clothes for this type of situation. (Brings out: lingerie that could only be found in either Victoria's Secret, Pervy stores where Kakashi buys his books, and hooker clothes.)

Naruto: "Good thinking, but how'd you get all these girl clothes?"

Sasuke (looking carefully at Kakashi, hoping that his secret isn't found out): "Uh…from Kakashi's room after that double date he went on with Kurenai and Anko."(Everyone appears satisfied)

Inner Sasuke: Whoa, that was close.

Naruto: "Now let's start!"

Everyone: "SEXY-NO-JUTSU!"

…Not even Jiraiya would peep on the girls they created.

A few miles away, Hittari and Futtari fell from a tree laughing their heads off from the sight they saw of the meeting G.R.O.A.N. had.

Author's note: I want to apologize about how I wasn't able to get this chapter in sooner. It took me longer to write this chapter out because I've been taking into consideration about how you've guys been suggesting that I make longer chapters but here it is now! Next time: Sakura's parents come to town— and all the guys are taking this chance to impress the parents complete H#