Ishandahalf: I suppose I have got a bit of a track record haven't I? Well I might just surprise you this time mightn't I? Or I might not! You'll have to read and see. Yeah, my neck o' the woods…Well I was in South Bank you see (under the pretence of actually doing a bit of work), and I thought, "well why not!" so I wrote it in. There's a bit of the nylon influence there, as stated back in chp.1. Man, that show was frustrating. Thank you very much for reviewing all my chapters lovely ishy, keep on going with all your stories and keep listening to The Smiths!
Chica De Los Ojos Café: stupid Joe indeed. Well you're about to see where they end up and what happens to them, and then its goodbye from me. Thanks very much for all your reviews over the chapters!
Freak87: haha, well your work sounds like a lot of fun! Yeah Remy is a bit desperate, a man possessed, if you will. Did I actually write that it? It seems awfully familiar…I like your loophole! I wish I'd thought of that, I could have kept the story going a little longer if I had. Ho hum. I'm quite pleased to be done with it now in a way anyhow. Thanks very much for your super reviewing of chapters, you are ace.
Sweety8587: Sven? What? I want to say "…Goran Eriksson." But I'm not sure that's what you're getting at! Cheers for all your reviews!
Untouchablegoth: "I'm English and as such I crave disappointment, in fact I actively seek it out." Bill Bailey, genius… there's even less chapters left than you imagined, cuz this is it! Finito! Thanks for reviewing, I hope you aren't too disappointed by the end!
GothikStrawberry: ah you'll just have to wait and find out, I just hope its not too much of a let down, eek! Thanks for reviewing hon.
Xmengirlzrule: you were my first ever 200th reviewer! Thank you! I'm gonna refer you to ishandahalf's review response for the "why?" section of your review, its so much easier than typing it out again! Cheers for reviewing.
Craaaaazy: ahh would you be a Londoner too then? North, south, east or west? Lets start a club! Thanks for reviewing.
Simba317: well its lovely to see you now! I'm glad you like my silly little stories, I'm always very pleased when someone does. I hope you like this last chapter, thanks very much for reviewing for me.
Lovelylady: haha, well I'm glad someone thinks so! Hope you enjoy this last chapter, thanks very much for all your reviews.
Dannonspring: haha, yep, she's with me and all my other slightly eccentric British compadres. Well we are a bit famed for it I guess…that and the rain and the tea. Haha, cheers for reviewing.
Jade: hehe, well you'll find out in a second! Thanks for the review.
Music When The Lights Go Out
Chapter Twenty (Something about the end)
Rogue sat on one of the black covered benches by the waterfront (1), staring out over the murky river, smoking a cigarette. She hadn't smoked since she was a teenager but right now she felt the craving kicking in again. It had gone dark ages ago, but she didn't care. It was cold too, but at least none of that infamous London rain had shown itself yet. She had just wanted to sit outside and clear her head.
On a whim, she had withdrawn a lot of her savings and bought a last minute plane ticket to England. She had always wanted to come to this part of the world; she had just never thought it would be under these kinds of circumstances.
She had spent the best part of the day just exploring. She had found a place to stay and then just wasted the day wandering the streets before she had wound up here, at an art gallery. She supposed that was a little ironic.
An icy wind blew in off the water. Rogue shivered and took another drag on her cigarette before pulling her jacket around her. She would give a lot for a hot drink right about now, but she didn't feel like moving much. She was happy here for now…
o-o-o-o-o-
Remy decided that this was probably one of the most reckless things he had ever done in his entire life. As soon as Kitty had told him told him where Rogue had gone, he had got a taxi straight to the airport and told them to give him any available seat for the next flight to London. Unfortunately the only one left had been a very expensive one…
He had nothing with him other than the clothes on his back and the money in his pocket, but he didn't care, he was determined to find her. Only problem was, this was a big city and he had no idea where to begin, she could be anywhere by now, he was going to have to do this by trial and error and as quickly as possible.
Maybe she was sightseeing, after all, this was her first trip to London, she would probably want to see everything first. He went to Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden, the London Eye…but he as much as he searched and shouted into the dimming light, he couldn't see anyone that looked like her anywhere.
Now it late and he was strongly contemplating giving up. He had ended up outside St. Paul's Cathedral, he thought it was a long shot, but worth a try none the less. Slowly, he walked across the river towards a huge old brick power station, standing out amongst the other city buildings. Illuminated by the orange glow of the streetlights, he could just make out a figure sitting back a bit from the waterfront, a woman, her hair blowing gently in the wind and the closer he got, the whiter the front of her hair seemed to look…
Quietly, sticking to the shadows, he watched her. She was smoking-and after everything she had said to him! She looked melancholy and lost in her own thoughts, but he desperately needed to talk to her, and now was as good a time as any…
"Well chére, aren't y' de hypocrite?"
Her eyes widened and she snapped her head in the direction of the voice, sending auburn and white waves flying around her. She didn't have to look, she already knew who it was and she had a damn good idea who had told him where to find her.
"After de lecture y' gave me about smokin', an' now y' de one lightin' up…" He was only a few yards away from her and grinning. She hadn't even heard him sneak up. He was the last person she wanted to see right now.
With a quick flick of her wrist, she threw the half smoked cigarette down and ground it into the concrete.
"How did ya find me?" She asked, not looking at him, just staring out straight ahead to the lights on the other side of the Thames.
"Kitty at first, den just pure luck." He walked down a little further and went to lean against the railing by the water opposite Rogue.
"Ya shouldn't o' come…"
"Shouldn't I? So I should have jus' let y' throw away everyt'in' we got, jus' 'cos we don' see eye t' eye on somet'in'."
"Ya could have at least waited until Ah came home, all Ah wanted was some time ta mahself."
"But when's dat gonna be huh chére? It's a one hell o' a habit y' got dere, jus' runnin' away when t'ings get tough."
"This ain't runnin' away, jus' tryin' ta take back some control."
The conversation was getting louder and more heated. Luckily it was late, and there weren't too many people around to hear but the ones who could were stopping to stare. Both Remy and Rogue had pretty fiery tempers and the two of them together were becoming just explosive.
"Control? What d' y' mean, control?" He was puzzled, he wording was strange and now he was more confused than he had been before.
"It's like ya plannin' mah life for me! Ah don't want ta get married, why can't ya just accept that! Before Ah know it Ah'll be married with kids, livin' in tha sticks and Ah'll have had ta give up everythin' Ah worked so hard for, just like Joe was tryin' ta make me do…"
"Y' should know me well enough by now t' know I would never force y' t' give up de t'ings y' passionate about, dere part o' what make y' y', part o' what I fell fo' in de first place. I'm not forcin' y' t' marry me, but I love y' Rogue, more dan I ever t'ought it was possible t' love anyone, an' when y' wouldn't give me an answer, it nearly broke m' heart."
"Well it feels like ya tryin' ta! Just in a subtler way, puttin' idea's in mah head. You're cleverer than Joe was, Ah'll give ya that, but ya both cut from tha same clothe."
"Chere," he tried to move closer to her, sit down next to her, but she moved away and went and stood by the railing, looking down into the murky water. "I ain't nothin' like Joe, I would never do anythin' t' hurt y'. All I wanna do is tell de world y' mine."
"Ah don't belong ta ya Rem, and ya don't belong ta me, people ain't possessions…"
That put a stop to the argument for a little while at least. They could be here like this for weeks and they both knew it, there was no rational end or compromise to this argument. Neither could make the other see their point of view and it was just frustrating trying.
"Y' know, I t'ink de only reason y' even doing dis in de first place is because y' scared." Remy finally stated, breaking the silence.
Rogue span around. "Ah am not scared." She snapped back at him.
"Yeah y' are. Y' scared o' relationships, y' scared o' commitment and most o' all y' scared o' bein' hurt."
"Ah don't have ta listen ta this…" Rogue tried to walk away but Remy was too quick. He sprang towards her, grabbing her wrists and pulling her to him. She wasn't going anywhere.
"Y' were hurt before an' now y' t'ink I'm jus' gonna come along an' screw y' over de same way? It ain't gonna happen chére, y' crazy if y' t'ink I would ever do anyt'ing like dat t' y'!"
She was scared. He could see it in her wide green eyes; she was just a trapped little girl with nowhere left to run.
"I love y' chére, and I know y' love me t'…" he finished softly.
At last, beaten and tired, Rogue collapsed into Remy's chest sobbing, her tears soaking his shirt right through. He didn't care. He just held her in his arms and whispered sweet French nothings to her, happy that he was the one to calm her.
"Ah'm just so confused Rem, Ah don't know what Ah want anymore." She choked out.
"Shh, mon amore, s'ok, we'll work it out non?" he murmured gently.
Finally, Rogue looked back up, her eyes meeting his.
"Could we please just start again? From tha beginnin'? Take things slow…"
At the moment he was willing to take what he could get, reconciliation was all he craved. In a very vague way, he supposed it was a compromise, and it was infinitely better than losing her completely, even if it did mean they were back to the start.
Slowly he sighed and nodded, and then leaned down and kissed her forehead before pulling her back to him, arms winding around each other. Under the fluorescent glow of the streetlights, they stayed there, clinging to each other's bodies in the cold, not really wanting to let go, afraid of the consequences they would have to eventually face when they did.
Of course, Remy was hopeful that they would sort out their problems, but the truth was, he didn't know if they would. Doubt had caste shadow on everything and turned it grey, nothing was the same anymore. In the meantime though, they could always work at it, he wasn't giving up.
Nothing is a lost cause.
(1) If you've followed the clues, that you may have realised that I've set this scene outside one of my favourite places in London, the Tate Modern. It's an art gallery in this old power station and it's a very cool place. If you're ever in London, you should go, it's free and everything.
Well, there it is, in all its dubiousness. This was both a pleasure and a complete pain to write, but I really hope you all enjoyed it nevertheless. I get the feeling that some people will be a bit…under whelmed with this last chapter. I know it's slightly inconclusive, but it's just the way it had to go, I'm sorry. Thank you to everyone and anyone who read this and huge and special thanks to everyone who reviewed-you're all truly brilliant.
I think I might take a little break from writing for a while, at least from anything epic. Maybe when I've sorted myself out a bit I'll come back again, you just better not have all forgotten me in the meantime! And any burning questions can always be emailed.
Anyway it's been grand, you all take care now…
SweetRevenge
