HANGING BY A MOMENT
Desperate for changing
starving for truth
closer to where I started
chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
forgetting all I'm lacking
completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
you take all of me now
I'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
and I don't know what I'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you
there's nothing else to lose
there's nothing else to find
there's nothing in the world
that could change my mind
there is nothing else
there is nothing else
there is nothing else
desperate for changing
starving for truth
closer to where I started
chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
and I don't know what I'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you
just hanging by a moment
hanging by a moment
hanging by a moment
hanging by a moment here with you
- Lifehouse
Ginny closed her eyes momentarily, wondering why love should hurt so much especially when it felt so right.
Standing in her bedroom that looked so alien to her – its sweetness, innocence, cream pink walls, Quidditch posters starring some good looking English players – feeling so removed from these supposedly familiar surroundings, Ginny felt alone and lost.
She stared out through her window at the green expanse of field, grass and trees. Shouts of her brothers and Harry as they degnomed the garden filled the air. She could hear Hermione in her brother's room upstairs, puttering around. She could smell the distinct scent of chocolate wafting up from the kitchen where her mother was busy baking her a 'Welcome Home' cake.
Ginny felt an unbearable ache in her chest – she loved her family, loved her home. The only reason for this sudden detachment was that Draco was not here, with her, to enjoy this with her.
If only her two worlds could meet, could combine. Her worst fear, she realized as she fingered the ring on her chain, was that she would have to sacrifice one in order to live in the other.
That was exactly what she told Bill that night, speaking in soft quiet tones. Bill had been sympathetic but she could see the disappointment in his eyes, regret deep rooted in the sky blue of his eyes that his precious sister was in love with a Malfoy.
When she had first arrived, the conversation had been casual, almost amiable till Bill asked with somberness that startled her, no matter how mentally prepared she had been for this, who had given her that ring. He had pointed his index finger at the silver chain around her neck, his eyes glinting questioningly.
She had paused for a moment to breathe in deeply before telling him the truth, in its whole entirety. She had made him swear not to tell Mum and Dad or even Ron, pleadingly attempted to convince him of Draco's change of heart and character.
She had told him that they were in love and there was nothing anybody could do about it, with a defiant sparkle in her eyes and her chin jutting out stubbornly.
He had listened to her patiently, heart breaking into tiny bits and pieces. His sister. His Ginger. He wondered if she remembered his special nickname for her when she had been a child, a little girl.
He loved his mother's Ginger tea and had been the only child to take such a strange liking to such a weird tasting drink. Till Ginny was born. She loved it more than he did and it pleased him immensely to share such a thing with her. Thus, he had dubbed her Ginger, for he loved her as much as his favorite drink, most times more so.
Maybe this sudden bitterness was why he told her, upon the mention about her engagement to Malfoy, that life was not happily ever after and golden sunsets.
"The person you love is rarely worthy of how big your love is. Because no one is worthy of it and maybe no one deserves the burden of it. You will be let down, disappointed, have your trust broken and a lot of bad days. You wind up losing more than you win. You hate the person you love as much as you love him. But you roll up your sleeves and work at everything - that is what love is – work."
She did not look as flabbergasted as he hoped she would. Her lips were pressed into a thin determined line as her gaze fixed on a spot above his shoulder as if she was pondering his words.
Then she turned her gaze upon him, a dreamy smile on her face. "He's worth it."
And Bill knew, knew then with a stunning clarity that there was nothing he could do to stop her from loving Malfoy. And only a fool would think otherwise.
That was only the beginning and Ginny knew it but for a while it seemed that things had settled. Ron seemed to be placated by the fact that Ginny was at The Burrow, not in a hundred mile radius from Malfoy, which was good enough for him.
Though if he could ship her to Timbuktu, he probably would. For now though he was sure that she had taken his advice and was keeping away from Malfoy.
Only Bill knew otherwise but he was in France, encumbered with wedding preparations. Besides, he was smart enough and adored his sister too much to do anything drastic. So Ginny was safe for a while.
She felt happy in her little temporary world of apartment hunting with Luna, lunch outings with her friends, exchanging letters with Draco via owl post and spending the cool summer nights with her parents.
For a while she thought life was not bad, not so bad after all.
Until one morning before she set off to meet Luna at the Leaky Cauldron. They were going to meet the landlord of an apartment beside it.
She received a letter from Draco:
My Dearest Virginia,
I will be leaving tomorrow morning for a trip to Sri Lanka with mother. The healer has highly recommended a certain traditional Indian aruvedic treatment available there that might cure mother. I need to speak to you before I leave. Can I do it via the floo network tonight at midnight?
Yours
Draco
Ginny felt something tighten in her stomach. How long would he be gone? She already missed him, his eyes, his touch, and his kisses. Missed him like the flower missed the sun, the clouds missed the rain.
She scribbled a quick reply before darting down the stairs, grabbing her cloak and with a quick 'I'll be home for dinner" to her mother apparated to the Leaky Cauldron.
There she met Luna who had confirmed rent for the flat.
"But you didn't even let me see it." Ginny snapped at her.
"It was fine and you were late. Calm down."
Ginny did not say anything, just staring blankly ahead. She was angry, angry that she had barely gotten to see her fiancé all week just because her family would not approve of him. They did not even know him.
"What's eating you anyway?" Luna asked, thanking Tom for their drinks.
"Nothing." Ginny looked down at the table.
She could tell Luna after all, the girl even knew about Malfoy's proposal.
"It's just that.. I don't know but – I- I miss him, Lu." She felt tears well up in her eyes instantly.
Luna looked at her friend startled by this sudden display of emotion. "Go and see him then."
"How? Where…" She trailed off as her eyes lit up. "I'll go to the Malfoy Manor."
Luna blanched. "Are you mad? Do you know how many wards surround that place?"
Ginny stood up, having already made up her mind.
"Well, I'll never know till I try won't I?" With that she was gone.
Luna was right. She could not get within a mile radius from the Manor backed by a ridge of high woody hills, from a distant looked more like a castle than anything else.
Sweeping, manicured lawns, which surrounded the looming mansion, was boarded by a low, rose-colored brick wall. To the side, where there was a small gate, obviously the back exit towards the woods, a stone path leading towards a stream of some natural importance, which seemed to swell into something of greater importance, possibly a lake in the woods Ginny mused.
Stately oaks encircled the mansion itself, their massive branches dripping curly grey moss over it protectively like embracing arms. The house sat like a southern coquette with her wide hoped skirts ballooned around her. The brick had been kept a pristine white, lending her an air of domineering prestige.
A file of Corinthian columns adorned the front, three on each side of the front door. They supported the second story balcony over the wide veranda that surrounded the house.
White wrought iron as lacy as a petticoat bordered the balcony. Forest green shutters flanked tall windows that gleamed like mirrors in the sunlight. An aura of serenity hovered over the house like the magic mist that surrounded the castle in a fairy tale
A gravel drive arched in front of the house leading from the tall wrought iron gate where Ginny stood; unable to enter it for it was securely locked by magical means.
For a while, that was not Ginny's concern. She was delighted. She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. She was warm in her heartfelt admiration, and at the moment felt, that to be mistress of Malfoy Manor might be something!
She ran her fingers over the large cursive M inscribed on the wall, beside the gate.
She was in love, not with Draco, him too of course, but with this place. She had expected a large, handsome stone building of sorts but this was more, this was a place she could imagine calling home. She could already imagine how welcoming it would look with wicker furniture dotting the porch.
Realizing that there was nowhere she could get in, she apparated back to the inn where Luna was waiting patiently.
"Couldn't get in?" Luna asked.
Ginny nodded her head, eyes glazed as she reminisced about the house.
"Oh, Lu, I'm in love." She murmured dreamily.
Luna gave her a quizzical look.
"That's quite obvious isn't it? I mean-"
"No. I mean, his house….the Malfoy Manor….it's like a dream…Like Hogwarts but better, more like a home." Ginny gushed.
Luna frowned.
"Are you sure you got the right house?"
That snapped Ginny out of her dreamy reverie.
"Yes, of course."
"Maybe inside it's filled with cobwebs or it has dungeons and secret passageways." Luna's imagination was taking off.
"Maybe." Ginny agreed, but she was too absorbed in her fantasies of going for walks by the river, hand in hand with Draco, just before the sun rose.
"Hullo, ladies."
Ginny's head jerked up in surprise. "Harry!"
"Yes, that's me. How are you both?"
"Okay." Ginny smiled at him.
"Fine." Luna muttered politely.
Harry stared down at her for a moment, as if seeing her for the first time, then he averted his flushed face towards Ginny.
"What are you doing here?" Ginny asked him, before he could ask her.
"Nothing really. On a break from work. Running some errands. " He looked rather dodgy about it for some reason.
"Where's Taylor?" Ginny queried. Harry's face went red for a couple of minutes, before glancing down at Luna who raised an inquiring eyebrow at him. He looked away from her instantly, embarrassed.
"Eh..well..we-broke up."
"Oh! Harry! Why didn't you tell me?" Ginny asked, concerned, or as concerned as she could be considering how spent she was.
"I, It was more my fault. She wasn't really my type." He explained. Luna startled them both with a snort.
At the two questioning glances, "Well, that's what they all say after a breakup."
Ginny shot her a dirty look. Luna had never really been particular fond of Harry – always thought he thought too much of himself especially after working with him through the war.
"Are you okay, Gin? You look rather worn out." Harry observed, ignoring the other strange girl.
"A bit tired I suppose. Lu and I've been house hunting." He nodded, but his green eyes bored into her in Dumbledore fashion.
"Well then, I'll see you around."
Before he turned to walk off, however, "Thought you'd like to know - Malfoy's been down for quidditch trials at Falcon Falmouth for thee seeker position."
Ginny gaped at him as he nodded and walked off.
"Why does he think you'd like to know?" Luna spoke first, voicing one of the many questions running through Ginny's mind.
"And Quidditch? But Lu, Draco's not a very good seeker. I mean in the all time he played at Hogwarts, he only caught the snitch was when he was playing against Hufflepuff." Ginny murmured, even more worried. "What's he thinking?"
"Maybe Harry knows about you and Malfoy." Luna mused.
"Maybe?! Of course, he knows!! Ron would have blabbed to him." Ginny looked disgruntled.
"Well, he doesn't really seem to mind, does he?"
Ginny shook her head, "That's the least of my worries, Lu. What in the wizarding world is Draco up to is what I'd like to know."
"You're seeing him tonight, right?" Luna pointed out, patiently.
"Yes but-"
"Patience is an underrated virtue, Gin." Ginny sighed, burying her face in her hands.
"Why so restless, darling?"
Ginny snapped out of her tortured reverie, looking towards the head of the table where her parents sat, looking at her concernedly.
Dinner had been a rather quiet affair with only Ron and herself in attendance, the both of them the only ones living at The Burrow. Harry had gotten himself an apartment, the twins stayed in the house above their shop at Diagon Alley.
"Just thinking about the new apartment and moving.."
Her father nodded encouragingly while her mother bristled, unable to do anything more for she had come to the realization that her brood of children were growing up and moving away.
Ron however looked rather aghast. "You're moving out? So fast? But you just graduated? How did you find a place?"
Ginny stifled a laugh. She had not really spoken to Ron since that day, avoiding him or ignoring him, worst came to worst.
"Luna found a nice apartment. At diagon Alley." She looked towards her parents, "Near Fred and George."
"And mum, you can come visit me anytime." She flashed a tender smile at her mother.
Ron was still not happy. "But Ginny, it's way too soon for you to be moving-"
"I don't see what the problem is Ron," her father spoke up, "She'll be living with Luna, who is a rather sensible girl."
At this all other thee Weasleys – mother, daughter and son snorted. Only Dad would think that of Luna, Ginny mused.
"So I'll be the only one living at The Burrow." Ron moaned.
"Go live with Harry then." Ginny suggested, feeling a tad sorry for her brother.
He went slightly red then, shaking his head. "No..don't want to..he needs his own life, y'know. Besides…" He trailed off wistfully.
Ginny was sure what her brother's plans were and why he was not ready to splurge on a bachelor pad for himself – he was saving up to buy a nice house for Hermione and himself.
She had to give him credit but she could not help, noting with a hint of pride that no house could beat the beautiful Malfoy Manor.
Ginny glanced up at the clock wishing it were closer to midnight. She missed Draco, having not seen him for much too long a time.
After what it seemed like the longest possible span of time in her entire life, the clock struck twelve. Grabbing her invisibility cloak, just in case Ron decided to pop into the kitchen for a late night snack of some sort, she slipped out of her room, quietly darting down the stairs.
The entire house sat in darkness, still with night as all its occupants slept, even the ghoul in the attic. She entered the kitchen, noting that the fire in the fireplace was still burning. She sat down in one of the kitchen chairs to wait.
"Virginia." Ginny spun around to face Draco's head in the fireplace.
He looked unnaturally weary, with dark circles under his eyes, his grey eyes vacant and dank, and his hair framing his face in waves having been allowed to grow quite a bit. If he did not trim his hair soon, he would have a ponytail just like Bill's. That thought made Ginny smile. And seeing her smile, made him smile a bit as well.
"Draco." She breathed, numb with anticipation as she knelt before the fireplace.
"I've charmed the wards to let you in so you can get through. Apparate to the Malfoy Estate'. " He instructed.
Ginny nodded, before standing up and pulling her wand out.
She apparated right into his arms, burying her face instinctively into the crook of his shoulder.
"You see I never stopped loving you, even though I couldn't see you." She murmured, raising her head to look at him.
His gray eyes were dark with emotion. He looked at her with desire, with longing, with need – so open that she was touched. Ginny knew those emotions were reflected in her own eyes, because she felt each one like a hunger pain that would not go away till she fed herself, until she feasted on him.
She touched his face with the back of her hand, noting the weary lines beneath his eyes that she had seen earlier. They were standing right at the edge of the woods, in the misty air of the night almost reminiscent of their nights together at Hogwarts.
Sounds of nature filtered around them – the gushing of water, a family of squirrels scrambling into a tree, a pack of birds scattering in squawking protest and then their, breathing – fast, furious and steady.
Then his voice beside her ear – "Ma chere…"
Ginny pulled away from him, amused and startled.
"You called me darling…in French.." There was laughter in her voice and Draco minded that it was at his expense.
"And what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing..it's just so, tender and endearing."
"And?" Draco still looked peeved.
"Not you.."
"Not me? But I was the one who kissed you, proposed to you, made love to you-"
"But that's just it, see. That's you, a man of actions, never words." She smiled at him. He still looked miffed.
"That's why I adore you." She continued, gazing up at him and longing to trace his lips with her fingers or perhaps even her tongue. Instead, she grew somber.
"We have to talk." She stepped away from him.
He looked at her curiously, having been imagining kisses, tender words and if he was lucky - making love even but she seemed to have other ideas.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Ginny crossed her arms across her chest.
Draco studied her for a minute, admiring the dark flashes in her brown eyes. At that moment, he would like nothing more than to be scolded to death by an irrepressible angry Virginia for anger looked terribly good on her.
"Tell you what?" As the man really had no clue what his future wife was talking about.
"You're trying out for quidditch at Falcon Falmouth. Why didn't you tell me?" Ginny bristled.
"I wanted to surprise you if I got in." He shrugged, nonchalantly.
"What's wrong with teaching, Draco? Why Quidditch?"
"I needed a change and I thought maybe playing quidditch would impress your family." Ginny gaped at him.
"WHAT?! Are you MAD?! I know that's not the real reason. And anyway my brothers hate the FFs!!"
"Yes, I know, but if I was good at something.."
"Draco, the Falcon Falmouths are owned by former deatheaters who are allegedly still involved in dark arts activities. Surely you must know that. That's where their wealth comes from!"
"And I need that money, Virginia. Do you know if I get in and take the snitch for the first game of the season, I'll get a million galleons bonus? Imagine that?" He paced in front of her as he spoke, excited hope shining from his eyes.
But don't you have enough?" Ginny waved her hands expressively over the large woods and the house in the distance.
Draco shook his head firmly.
"My standards of wealth are different from yours. No offense meant." He added.
"None taken." Ginny huffed.
"Besides, quidditch is so much more exciting."
"I hope you know what you're getting into…"
He pulled her into an embrace, as his fingers entwined in the strands of her hair. "I do, now don't worry about me. I should be worrying about you."
The statement was so bold, so filled with concern that Ginny did not know what to say.
A reply was not possible for Draco's mouth covered hers, and he kissed her as if his life depended on it, as if she could give him back what he lost, as if he could do the same for her.
And maybe he could. Because she kissed him with the same desperation. Time was running out – there was so little time they had together, and the future seemed to have no space for them as lovers, a couple.
The worst part was that she could not hold back her desire for this man, could not survive without seeing him everyday, being with him. She wanted to make love, to taste his mouth, to feel his lips against her breasts.
She wanted to wrap herself around him, to take his power and strength and make them hers. To give him the softness, the loving that she knew he needed, even though he would rarely admit such vulnerability.
Draco slid his mouth along her jaw line. He nipped at the edge of her ear with his teeth and ran his tongue along the tip, bringing a shudder through her soul.
"Don't stop." She whispered.
"We'll have to soon, y'know." He breathed, smirking.
"You're laughing at me." Ginny frowned.
"A little." Actually he was not laughing at her as much as he was enjoying her.
She was a lovely, passionate woman, as down to earth as the ground they were standing on, her eyes as brown as soil, her hair as red as the trees. And redwood trees lasted forever. They were strong, tough and glorious, just like Virginia.
She pushed him back. He lost his footing and landed flat on his back, his robes billowing about him in the night wind.
Ginny took advantage of the situation, straddling him with her legs, her inner thighs caressing a very sensitive part of his body. Draco instinctively hardened against her.
"Woman, what are you doing?" He muttered.
"Teaching you a lesson." She said with a pleased smile. "Never to mock me."
She leaned down and kissed him on the mouth, caressing the sides of his face with her hands, taking her time, taking what she wanted and Draco let her, even though it was painfully torturous not to rip her cloak away, strip her robes from her body and get inside of her.
But as much as Draco wanted to hurry, he also wanted this moment to last forever and he had rarely wanted anything to last forever.
That thought frightened him to death. It was then he realized the depth of his feelings – proposing to her had not been as starkly significant as this moment- he had done that before after all but now he knew how deep he had fallen and he worried about how much he would hurt himself and even her.
As if to confirm his line of thoughts, the chain tucked neatly in her robes, swung forward, propelled by her movements, their sapphire diamond engagement ring glistening on it.
A/n note:
I'm glad I made you proud, Slytherin Queen..lol
About eleven or twelve more I think ..don't worry, this is only the beginning of their romance in the real world..boy is it going to be fun ride..
I am very very flattered by your review, Salina()..thank you very much..
Also, this is a mere transition chappie – pure fluff really before the hard stuff comes in – this is a REAL relationship..no fairytale romance stuff so the next few chapters will be mainly about the new couple thrashing certain issues between them..hopefully they'll solve it and come out stronger or maybe not..lots of twists and turns though…so STAY TUNED…
NOTHING IS MINE- the customary disclaimer
SNEAKIE PEEKIE BOO!!!!!!!!
All the emotions that ran through her as she read his words – wistfulness, pride, love, honour, fear – propelled her out of bed, to her desk to answer his letter and all his surprisingly astute questions. Sleepiness and bleary vision long gone, she conjured up a mug of hot cappuccino and began her reply.
I want reviews till six hundred and also a pre requisite to updating this story – everyone who read this story must go and read and review my other two draco ginny fics – Harder to Breathe ( a brand new version, one shot) and Love on Earth (a four parter or six parter)
Please..i desperately need feedback….very demanding I know..but I love being a slavedriver..lol..
