Chapter 8- Letting go for something new
Sean's P.O.V.
Wait what did I just do I kissed Ellie and what about Emma. I don't want Emma do I? Why should I keep fooling myself what ever me and Emma had is gone never to come back. Ellie would be something new and I can't stand hurting her.
Emma is sitting at the table crying her eyes out in Manny's arms. I think she knows that it is coming she knows that we really are done for good. She gives me one look shakes her head and cry's again. This sucks because I don't love her and she loves me. What about Ellie what do I do about her? I can't go see her now she is probably confused as hell.
"Hey Sean wait up man!" I hear Craig and Ashley race after me I knew they were going to give me the third degree on everything and I don't have any answers.
"Craig you should get home it is 8:30 you don't want to keep any one waiting." I knew Tanya comes over to his house every day at 8:30.
"Damn your right I don't want Joey to get mad." He thinks that Ashley would buy that curfew thing it cracks me up. Then again Ashley is so in love with him she would deny there was another girl if she saw it with her own two eyes.
"So Sean what are you going to do?" Ashley and I started walking; she could be cool when she wasn't so in to Craig.
"I don't know I mean I kissed her Ash, what if she never talks to me again?" "What if she doesn't want to be with me any more?" "What if we do get together and I hurt her again." I couldn't stop asking questions I didn't even know what I was saying half the time.
"Whoa, Sean slow down okay." "You obviously care about Ellie and you want to be with her and she likes you I know she does." Did Ashley mean it or was she just trying to be a good friend. Either was I knew I was going to have to talk to Ellie and I can't avoid it even though I want it to.
"I am going to go home and think through everything don't mention anything to Ellie okay." I said walking away. What was I going to do?
Ellie's P.O.V.
School…thank god it is Friday I cant take school any more all the drama. I was never the center of drama before I always watched it from the outside and laughed at how silly people can be. Now I am the one being stared at having rumors spread about me and fighting with people. This wasn't me I was "the freak" "the vampire" "the cutter" and now I am a "slut?" That makes no sense I wish things can go back to the way they were.
My mom didn't believe that I was sick and forced me to come to school today. Maybe if I am lucky I can hide from Sean and Emma all day. Starting with now, I see Sean walking in the school and I run to the bathroom.
There was someone else in the bathroom so I just went to the mirror pretending to fix my make-up.
"You won Sean's heart Ellie congratulations." Emma Nelson out of all of the people in this school she had to be in the bathroom now. I couldn't avoid them they are everywhere I turn staring at me stalking me really.
"What are you talking about Emma?" Not like I was really interested in what she was saying at all.
"Sean and I are done for good he wants you I can tell." "You know what you can have him I always thought of you as sloppy seconds." Emma was so jealous that her boyfriend might like someone else it made me want to laugh.
Sean was no where to be found the whole day maybe he was ignoring me to. Emma was probably lying to make me look bad it is so like her. I don't know I give up with everything Ashley and Craig wouldn't say anything about it the whole day they just kept talking about pointless crap and smiling at me.
I was late for co-op again, I had to run there and fell on the way. I was a total wreak but I didn't have a chance to stop home.
"Ellie great you're here, and a mess." Caitlin said greeting me I love how she was the kind of boss that didn't care that I was late.
"Yeah well I feel running here." It was that big a deal really I could change later.
"Well anyway I need some help with this 10 minuet documentary we are doing for the news." "I need you to video tape your friends." Did Caitlin say friends great I could video tape Ashley and Craig falling back in love Marco and Dylan making out and Spinner and Paige fighting again. You figure since they broke up they wouldn't talk to each other but of course not.
"Why?" "What is the documentary about?" I was afraid to find out because it was probably going to be some kind of boring look at all of my friend's thing but I wasn't going to argue.
"Well we are just going to be talking about kids and there social life all I need is different clips of you and your friends hanging out you know having fun." "Then we will pick a song to play in the back round." "We will need about 7 minuets of footage." "Also we are going to then write an article about it so we are going to need some pictures to." Caitlin was so good at this stuff I was such a bad photographer.
"Are you sure I can do this?" "I am not the greatest photographer." I could make awesome videos but photography wasn't my thing.
"Ask Craig to help you, he is good with that stuff." I knew she would mention Craig he was the new photographer here and he seems to take all the pictures now. He is even getting paid. Caitlin started paying me because I was working so hard but I had to wait 3 months before I got paid.
"Yeah so I am going to make a list and stuff of what I could do and then I need to head out because my mom needs me to cook dinner tonight." Lie lie lie I thought to my self but when I mention my mom Caitlin doesn't question because she knows that it's not a topic to go in detail about.
Who should I film and when should I film it? There weren't any good parties coming up. Well no there was Jimmy's party coming up but I want something good. I could take them to the park. I love how I say them, I don't have that many friends really maybe I should make a list.
Ashley, Craig, Marco, Jimmy I hesitate but I write down Hazel and Paige. We were kind of friends the friends that say hi in the school and talk during lunch but thank god it didn't go any further. Well I know if Marco is there then so is Dylan and I might as well put Spinner.
"Heard someone needed a photographer." I wasn't surprised to see Craig here on a day he wasn't suppose to it seemed to be his thing. Never come on time when he is suppose to be here but when he doesn't have to be here he is here any way.
"Well I need to video tape all my "friends" I air quoted friends because most of them were barley my friends. "I need you to take pictures for me; I guess one roll would be good enough.
"Yeah sure I can take pictures of them" he air quoted them to be funny. "During school and stuff so you don't have to worry about that." Thank god I was taking pictures because I would mess it all up.
"That's great here you can take my list, I have to get home to my mom." I grabbed my bag and ran out before he mentioned Sean. I know he was dieing to say something. Then I would actually have to admit I like Sean and I want to be with Sean, what has happened to me?
"Can we talk?" There he was waiting for me I should have expected it Sean has this way of being everywhere he will pop out of corners so he can talk to you. I nodded across the street to the park and we headed over.
"I shouldn't have got back together with Emma I just didn't think you wanted to be with me." It was a broken record he was right he shouldn't have got with Emma if he didn't want to be with her. This time when he said it I believed it.
"I don't know I just didn't know how to act around you." I walking over to the play group I haven't been on one in so long I was dieing to go on the swing.
"No its okay I acted like a jerk." I sat on the swing and he started pushing me it was kind of cute.
"No you didn't I would have done the same if I was you and I don't care about anything that's gone on any more I am going to forget it." I think it is time to forgive and forget maybe I should open up to someone.
"So where do we go from here?" He asked I started to slow down the swinging I mean does this make us a couple?
"We would be the weird couple ever." I mean the freak, the vampire, the slut my new nickname made me twitch because I wasn't a slut and the gangster, the criminal, the wanna be, the heart breaker I can't believe I was labeling us.
He grabbed my hips and stopped my swinging all the way. He got down to my ear and whispered "I thought you didn't care what people think."
"I turned and our faces were about and inch away. "I don't-"I was cut off because he bent in and kissed me. This time I was thinking about it I just did it and it felt so right.
"Care" I said finishing my sentence. I just looked at him and smiled I was so happy for once.
"Good you shouldn't." Sean started pushing me again I felt like such a five year old. The last time any one pushed me on a swing was when my dad did. I was so sad thinking about him I wanted to cry.
"So do you want go do something?" he asked after ten minuets of pushing me on the swing I think his arms were starting to hurt it was funny.
"What time is it?" I told my mom I would be home at 8 so she wouldn't have to be alone, not like she would care if she was alone she wouldn't even notice.
"9:00, why?" Holy shit my mother is going to freak out when I go home.
"I have to go now I said jumping of the swing and falling getting even more dirty then I already was.
"Okay I will walk you home." Usually I wouldn't have anyone walk me home but I didn't have time to argue so I will let him this time
I took my boots off so I wouldn't kill myself running home. I turn down my block and I can see my mom outside she looked really pissed. She turned her head and saw me running towards her I was ready for her to throw a bitch fit in front of all the neighbors.
"ELEANOR NASH!" She screamed. "Where have you been I said be home an hour ago." She got up in my face and I was actually backing down everyone is scared of there parents and my mom scared me sometimes.
"I was at work and then." I shook my head she wouldn't take excuses all she wanted for me to do was admit I was stupid and wrong and it will never happen again. "Sorry."
"You shouldn't be out with boys I don't know." She said looking at Sean in disgust.
She had crossed the line by insulting Sean, "fine now you can know him this is Sean my uh-"shit are we going out of what I don't know what should I call him.
"Boyfriend." Sean said cutting in and smiling at me. Well he cleared that one up and my mom looked like she was going to go into cardiac arrest.
"In the house now missy." My mom said stumbling back into the house. I was so embarrassed Sean and I have been official for a half hour and he has already seen the hell whole I live in.
"I can stay if you want." Sean said going to hug me." I love how he cared about me it was cute.
"No I will be fine I promise." I didn't want him to see any more of my mom's crazy drunk side.
I kiss him and walk inside ready for part two of mom's bitch fit. I was so not in the mood for crap like this but I couldn't avoid it.
"Go clean the kitchen and then go to bed." "Stay away from that boy he looks like trouble." It was amazing how me and my mom were so different she was so judgmental she even judges me she used to say to her old friends how I didn't get it from her.
"He isn't you don't know him and don't judge him." I was ready to loose it.
"Do as I say." The next thing I know she is passed out on the couch, she was such a loser I hate her so much sometimes.
I go online to check my lovely email and Sean IM's me was probably dieing to ask me questions about my mom.
Whatever: He Ellie are you okay?
Don'tCare- Yeah I am fine just my mom being a mom.
Whatever: Okay how come you back down to your mom you would never do that with any one else
Don'tCare: Yeah well she is my mom what can I say I have to listen to her
Whatever: you sure about that I mean I never listened to my parents
Don'tCare: Well the only thing I get from her is my attitude and hers is worse then mine
Whatever: I am not suppose to be on the computer and Tracker is coming home so I should go see you tomorrow I will come by sometime.
I wanted to tell him to meet me some where else but I couldn't because he signed off right away. I decided to write in my journal before going to bed.
I cant believe it Sean and I boyfriend and girlfriend. You would expect that since Craig and him are best friends and I am good friends with Craig we would know each other better. I barley know him though I mean he would sit at lunch with us sometimes, be at the dot with us and go to the movies but it was always with a big group and I was off with Marco and Ashley and he was with Spinner and Craig. Its like have known him for almost a year and this is the first time that we have had a real conversation. Come to think of it the only thing we have ever said to each other before this was hi when we first met that was it. It is so cool me with a real girlfriend and could I be anymore dorky. I should call Marco and let him in on this but I would get thrown in to an hour long conversation about Dylan and some other meaning less crap. Well I just can't wait to see where this takes me, I really like him.
A/n- Sorry it has been a while since an update my computer had been spazing out and now I have mid terms coming up so I have to study but I will have a new chapter up by this weekend.
