Sheentastic Voyage
by Gary D. Snyder
Chapter 7:
Libby had known Sheen long enough to trust him in most situations, but she still remembered a time when Jimmy had increased Sheen's intelligence in an effort to assist him with a critical math test. The incident had taken a sinister turn when the transformation had given him psychogenic abilities and nearly driven Sheen mad with his newfound power. His geometrically increasing mental abilities had almost destroyed Retroville and would have killed Sheen had not Jimmy and Carl efforts managed to convince Sheen to voluntary surrender his powers. Sheen's dark side had repelled Libby then, and the thought of what he might do now frightened her. She tried to think of what she could say to reach him.
"It's all right, Sheen," she said hesitantly. "It'll be okay. Really."
"They destroyed Ultra Lord," Sheen choked out. "They'll be sorry for that. I'll make them sorry."
"Just who are 'they', Sheen?"
Sheen looked up at her, his eyes not seeming to really see her. "Them." He gestured vaguely about him. "The ones who did this. The ones Ultra Lord died fighting against."
Libby fought to make Sheen see reason. "Sheen, they didn't kill Ultra Lord. It was a game you uploaded, remember?"
"I remember," Sheen answered, rising to his feet. "I was the one who brought him here. I was the one who set the virus loose in here." He struggled to get the next words out. "I'm the one who's responsible. It's my fault." He turned and began walking towards the exit at the far end of the chamber.
Libby hurried to catch up and grab Sheen by the arm. He shook her off but she raced around and planted herself directly in front of him, forcing him to stop. "Sheen, listen to me," she said, carving each syllable from granite. "It's just a game. It isn't real."
Sheen stopped and again fixed Libby with that peculiar, sightless stare. "Not real?" His voice took on a more strident tone. "Not real? Look around you, Libby!" He spun around in a circle, pointing at the still forms and wreckage that surrounded them. "We're here! So were they! So are hundreds or thousands of others like them! Does it matter if they're bits in a computer or flesh and blood in another world? Do you want to explain to any of them that they aren't real and their existence doesn't matter?" He whirled around and began stalking off again.
Libby didn't pursue him this time. She simply shook her head as she watched him move away. "You're losing it, Sheen," was all she could say. "So maybe the game was real in here. Maybe you feel guilty about setting some virus loose in Jimmy's computer and having it trash your Ultra Lord game. But don't you get it?"
Sheen didn't even pause. "Get what?" he asked.
"What difference does it make? Ultra Lord
isn't even real!"
Sheen stopped so abruptly and stood so
still that Libby felt a sudden chill of dread pass over her. Slowly
Sheen half-turned and looked at her over his shoulder. His dark eyes
seemed almost like coals lit by an inner fire. "Don't ever say
that," he bit off. "Ever."
Libby was now sure that Sheen had gone insane. "Sheen, what are you talking about?" she stammered, trying to calm him. "You can't really believe that he's real, can you?"
The reply was icy but not violent. "Does it really matter?"
"It does to me," answered Libby. "I could understand if you were this wrapped up in someone like George Washington or Martin Luther King or Albert Schweitzer or someone else who was a real person, but he's just a TV character. He's some character that someone made up to sell some stupid breakfast cereal and toys."
Sheen looked at her and Libby couldn't read the emotion on his face. Was it sorrow? Disappointment? Frustration? Or some combination of them all? As she strove to interpret his expression Sheen shook his head. "You just don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?" Libby took a cautious step closer. "What are you talking about?"
In answer Sheen sat down on the cracked floor, his head down. "What heroes are all about."
"Of course I do. There are heroes everywhere. Real heroes, not made up ones."
"What makes them heroes?"
The simple question caught Libby off-guard. "Uh…risking their lives for others."
"Was Jonas Salk a hero?"
The name sounded familiar but Libby couldn't quite place it. "Who?"
"The guy who developed the vaccine for polio. It saved millions of children from polio so that they didn't end up paralyzed. A lot of people in the 1950's thought he was a hero."
"Oh." Libby considered it. "Well, yes. I'd say he was a hero."
Sheen nodded. "He didn't risk his life. But I think he's a hero, too."
Libby felt that Sheen was leading up to something and decided to take the direct approach. "So a hero isn't necessarily someone who risks his life to help others. So what is a hero?"
"A hero is anyone you choose." Sheen replied in a voice so soft that it was almost a sigh.
"But what makes them a hero?"
Sheen shrugged. "Whatever is important to you. Maybe it's your dad spending the day with you instead of going fishing with his friends. Or your mom baking cookies until 3 AM for your class because you forgot to tell her you needed them until the last minute."
"I understand that, Sheen," Libby assured him. "But those are real people."
"To me," Sheen went on, "a hero is someone that made the world better. I know I'll probably never meet Ultra Lord. But I'll never meet George Washington or any of the other 'real' heroes you mentioned either. What makes them heroes isn't the chance of meeting them. It's their ideas of what the world could be like that they had."
Impossible as she had thought it would be Libby somehow felt that she was losing the battle. "But if Ultra Lord isn't real how can he have any ideas of his own?"
"Was Moby Dick real? Was Cyrano de Bergerac real? Was North Dakota real? Even if Ultra Lord didn't have ideas someone had to have them. Someone somewhere believes that there are heroes that will help the people that can't help themselves, the people that other people always pick on and call 'losers' and 'wierdos'. And if enough people believe that then maybe, someday, there will be heroes like that.
"So maybe Ultra Lord isn't a real person. Maybe he's just some idea someone had. But people aren't around for long and ideas can live forever. And if something can live forever, it has to be real somehow. Even if no one else really believes that."
Sheen fell silent and Libby said nothing. Up to now she had not fully understood Sheen or why he had never seemed to have much of a grip on reality. She had always been puzzled by the almost fanatic devotion to a character she believed Sheen should have long ago outgrown. And she had never really realized why Sheen had formed such a close friendship with Jimmy who was, in virtually every measurable way, Sheen's complete opposite. She felt that all her life she had been watching Sheen through some frosted window that had suddenly slid open letting her see him clearly for the first time. The real world meant little to Sheen because it had so rarely offered anything of value to him. Movies, books, and TV shows were the only worlds that had promised him heroes and people to value and look out for him when no one else would.
Heroes like Ultra Lord.
People like Jimmy.
She knew now why his quest to avenge Ultra Lord and rid Jimmy's computer of the virus was so vitally important to Sheen. It was the only way he felt that he could justify the sense of worth and purpose that they had given him. He would not stop until he had fulfilled that quest or was himself defeated, and he would go alone if needs be.
Sheen was so lost in his own thoughts that he was startled by the touch of a hand on his. As though waking from a dream he looked about him and then up at Libby's face.
"If we're going to do this," she said. "we'd better get moving."
End of Chapter 7
Author's Notes:
I've always felt that Sheen and Cindy are the most misunderstood of the group and love putting in what I term "backfill" like this chapter to try to make their characters more accessible and understandable. Sheen's circumstances in particular are almost a mystery. On the show only his father has ever been shown (I presume that Sheen's parents are divorced), and sisters have been alluded to (but never seen), so despite his good relationship with his father I tend to think that he can sometimes feels very much alone even in his family. Under the circumstances I can understand how he could withdraw from the world in an attempt to find a better one and that to me suggests that he would either become a rebel, an idealist, or possibly both.
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