Disclaimer: I do not hold any rights to Inuyasha in any form or way, nor do I make any profit out of writing this fic.
Reviews: As always, I'm extremely grateful that you took the time to review, and again in such detail, and I hurry to address the questions!
RabidAnimeGurl: I do indeed update quickly, or at least did, but sadly, that was only because the beginning was very easy to write and it's getting much more attention demanding now, plus the Christmas are mixing up all my free time :(
And about Shippou and Rin – I agree, I can see Shippou trying to impress her and whatnot, but probably only later on. I think Rin is still too young for Shippou to take an interest in her, he seems to me to be around 10-11 in human terms, whereas Rin is only around 7. So I'll wait and see how will it fit in later on.
AriKitten: Sesshoumaru is just going back for no specific reason, only because it is something that he was supposed to do and it was a good enough reason not to continue a journey that kept unnerving him with its futility. Inuyasha-tachi's story is indeed very much related to the Shikon no Tama and I promise that they all will meet again, and there will even be some Inuyasha/Kagome later on, assuming I figure out how to write it.... But there's too much to that plot for it to be introduced just like that, it would just be a boring summary of explanations, not particularly enjoyable to read. And as for Sesshoumaru and the future of the youkai, it will also develop, like most sub-plots of this story ;)
ele: To be honest, I don't really remember the Noh mask episode, I thought I remembered that it had a Shikon shard in it before it took some from Kagome, but I'm not all that sure of it now... 00 However, if I made a mistake there, then all the better, because that way the inevitability seems even more certain. I will check it again, and correct the chapters about it, if I got it wrong. I'm not entirely sure though what you mean about the future and past Shikon no Tamas, unless you mean that one of the shards traveled to Kagome's time on its own, in which case, yes, it would not necessarily imply that the shards were still around even though technically the tama had been completed.
Vanessa St. Cloud: Thank you, I'm very glad you liked it! Especially since I wasn't sure if it would be acceptable. :) And there will be more about the true from, even in this chapter, although she's not going to see it just yet!
Note: This chapter is atrociously long, mostly because I couldn't find any good way to divide it. Although there are still some issues that need to be taken care of before things can speed up, from now on you can expect regular jumps in time, sometimes by a few months, sometimes more.
Since I watch only the Japanese version and prefer to use the Japanese terminology, there are language notes at the end of the chapter.
Also, exceptionally, I need to include cultural notes at the beginning. This chapter contains some cultural and historical references, and it would be best to know them before reading on.
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Cultural notes
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Time period: "Inuyasha" is set in Sengoku Jidai (the Warring States Era) which lasted from 1467 to 1573. Moreover, one of the episodes mentions Oda Nobunaga, a guy who put an end to the period, as a person who is already alive and somewhat known. And since Oda Nobunaga lived in between 1534 and 1582, then I think the best date to set Inuyasha in is around 1560. Which means that Inuyasha was born around 1360, Sesshoumaru around 1200 and Touga in the BC's ;)
Japanese writing: Japanese writing originated from the Chinese writing, the Chinese characters had been borrowed and adapted to suit Japanese. However, the process completed only around 7th century AD, and if I assume that Touga was around 1500, then obviously when he was a child writing had not been known in Japan. Also, during the centuries after writing had been introduced, it underwent great changes to suit the Japanese language better, so something written in the 8th century, for example, would be very different from something written in 13th century. Which is not that surprising, same thing applies to English too. For those who want to know more, here is a useful link (spaced, just in case, so remove the spaces after pasting it into your browser, should you decide to check it out):
http :www .wsu. edu: 8080 / dee / ANCJAPAN / WRITING. HTM
Bathing: To this day, the bathing culture of the Japanese is different from what is customary in the West. To put it simply, you wash yourself outside of a tub (or hot spring) and use the hot water only to soak in it. Moreover, it is traditionally done in company, whole families bathe together often, and nudity is not considered to be as private and 'indecent' as in our culture (minus the gender division, which did not apply to children). It has begun to change, but only recently.
Bronze mirrors: Despite what many people seem to assume, mirrors as we know them did not appear in the East till something around 16th century, as a luxury import from the West. Before, people would use bronze mirrors (or mirrors made of other metals). They were oval, one side – the "reflection" side – was smooth and the other had various adorning carvings or inscriptions. Of course, the reflection was not as clear as it is with contemporary mirrors, but it was decent enough. As for the mirror mentioned here, there are actually mirrors that can "project" an image when you use them to reflect light, although it seems preposterous since the reflecting surface is perfectly smooth, without any marks on it. From what I read however, it's attributed to some internal erosion of the metal rather than somebody's intentional design. And despite their popularity, bronze mirrors were also a luxury item, so it's more than likely that Rin had never seen one.
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Chapter 5
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It took them two weeks to reach the border of the Western Lands. During the journey his companions at first kept their questions to themselves, or asked each other, but by then Jakken could no longer stand the uncertainty and approached him cautiously.
"Anou... Sesshoumaru-sama," Jakken was counting his prayers, "why are we going to the Western Lands? Is there some important matter that has to be taken care of there...?" For all he knew Sesshoumaru-sama could've heard of some youkai trying to take over the land. But, he would've told his most faithful servant about it, wouldn't he...?
"We are going to stay there." Sesshoumaru replied eying Jakken from the corner of an eye.
"S-stay...?" Jakken stuttered out and in his astonishment failed to notice a rock on his way, a nasty rock that had the nerve to trip him and made him land flat on his beak.
Yes, that was a good idea, Sesshoumaru decided, he was not even there yet and he was already amused. Indeed, during the weeks that passed since he had made his decision, his mood was steadily improving. The exact reason wasn't entirely clear to him, but it did not matter much.
Myouga glanced at the tall youkai from Shippou's shoulder, ignoring the excited comments of the two young ones. So it was as he had been suspecting, Sesshoumaru-sama could not stop thinking about the fate of the youkai and in the end it caused him to resign himself to whatever time would bring. Not that it was a bad thing, it was his own policy regarding the matter after all. Only that one could never know with Sesshoumaru-sama, thought Myouga shaking his head resignedly, he hardly ever did what you would expect him to. Still, time would tell. Having reached his conclusion, Myouga snuck into Shippou's clothes. There were still at least a day's travel away and a nap would do him good.
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Soon after they had entered the Western Lands, as Myouga had informed him, Shippou caught the smell of dogs. Not many, but enough to clearly mark the territory as a dogs' land. Well, it was a dogs' land, or at least it used to be. It was different than smelling a wolves' or snakes' territory though, because all the time he would think about Inuyasha, wondering if his friend had ever been here, in his homeland. Probably not, not with a family like Sesshoumaru, he decided, eying his friend's brother thoughtfully.
He had to admit though, traveling with Sesshoumaru was not bad at all. It was just as the taiyoukai had told them, all they had to do was stay out of his way. But it was even clearer then before to Shippou that the brothers were as different as night and day. While Inuyasha was loud and restless, Sesshoumaru could go for an entire day without saying a word, or spend hours sitting in the same position, seemingly without any movement at all. While Inuyasha would complain and whine for hours before finally doing something he didn't want to, Sesshoumaru just did or didn't do it, either way not informing anyone about how he felt about it. Yet, Shippou chuckled to himself, they had at least one thing in common – they were both bound by spells, though in Sesshoumaru's case no rosary was needed.
Shippou discovered it the first time he and Rin got themselves in trouble, or rather trouble found them, in a form of a medium sized oni who decided to make a snack of them. Rin just had to shout "Sesshoumaru-sama", while trying to run away nevertheless, and the taiyoukai was there, killing the oni in a white blur of movement. And for some reason, Shippou got his head bonked for it, even though the oni was in no way his fault. But he quickly learnt that it was just the way it was – whoever happened to be with Rin when she got in trouble, be it him or Jakken, would get knuckled for it. Or hit with a stone if they tried to run away, like he often did. And, Shippou gritted his teeth, Sesshoumaru never missed, never, no matter how hard one would maneuver through trees to avoid the stone.
Still, it was a good life, and he was having a nice time. There was not much going on, but Rin was a good friend by now, even though she was still younger than him mentally, despite being taller. Yet, he often wondered what did happen to Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango and if he would ever see them again.
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It was late night when they finally saw their destination. The terrain was hilly, ragged by knolls and mounds, and after reaching the top of one hill, they saw the shiro on the next hill before them. It looked simple and old, probably because it was indeed old, Shippou considered observing it from afar. Overall, the shiro looked like any other shiro of some small local daimyou, the only observable difference being that it had no outer walls, although Shippou supposed that if one was a great taiyoukai, protection of earth and stones was not exactly a necessity. Still, it looked much plainer than what he would expect of a man as renowned as Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's father.
"Ah!" exclaimed Rin pointing her finger towards the distant lights of the shiro, "Is there somebody living there, Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"That's right, "Myouga perked up at the question, "Could it be Sae-sama and her honorable mother?"
"Sae-sama...?" Rin asked inquisitively, turning to Myouga who, seeing that Sesshoumaru-sama was not inclined to respond, launched into explanations.
Sae-sama was actually Sesshoumaru-sama's niece, once removed, even though she was a little older than him. She was the granddaughter of Touga-sama's beloved otouchan, Usumaru. Usumaru, despite being Touga-sama's brother, was a weak youkai with little power, and it was said to be due to an attempted purification of his mother when she had been expecting him. Nevertheless, Touga-sama loved his brother dearly, and always protected him and his family the best he could. Unfortunately, despite all his care, Usumaru was eventually killed along with his mate and son shortly after Sae-sama had been born. Ever since then she and her mother had been living under the protection of Touga-sama.
"And what kind of a person Sae-sama is? Is she also an inu-youkai?" Rin asked again, curious.
Myouga was glad she chose to ask about the woman she was about to meet rather than about the circumstances of Usumaru-sama's death. It was not a story he was fond of, despite understanding Touga-sama's reasons for acting the way he did. He was also very sure that Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't enjoy listening to the story either.
"Sae-sama is a very kind and gentle person," Myouga answered, describing Sae-sama as he remembered her, from centuries prior, "and yet there is strength about her, although more of the heart than of the body." He concluded thoughtfully, mostly to himself.
"Are you sure she's related to Sesshoumaru then...?" Shippou whispered theatrically, but Sesshoumaru didn't feel like bonking the kitsune, especially since Jakken promptly did it for him.
He saw no point in talking about Sae or anyone else for that matter. They would soon see her for themselves and that was all there was to it. Sesshoumaru knew little about her himself, truth be told. He did remember that the very few times he would ever interact with other children during his own childhood were all related to Sae and her brightly smiling face. But ever since Chichi-ue deemed him old enough to be taken to battles, their ways separated and he knew little about her now. Sae had lived in the shiro all her life, now only with her mother and the few youkai who were still staying there, the only remainders of the past. Not that the shiro had ever been such a lively place to begin with. Despite his long life, Chichi-ue was a restless man, forever curious of the world and its developments. He always had something to do and somewhere else to be, and very rarely stayed in the shiro for extended periods of time.
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As they climbed the hill and finally reached the shiro, entering the external courtyard, the entrance shoji doors slid open promptly, releasing a female youkai dressed in a pale blue kimono. She advanced to them swiftly.
"Sesshoumaru-sama." She greeted him with a slight bow without any indication of being surprised by his arrival.
"Sae." He replied, and at the confirmation that it was indeed Sae, the eyes of the others turned to inspect her thoroughly.
Her resemblance to Sesshoumaru was undeniable, even though if inspected closely, she looked more like Inuyasha. She had silvery white hair, although without any bangs, it just fell evenly and gracefully around her face and down her back. Her eyes were of the same warm golden color as Inuyasha's and overall, most of her facial features resembled those of her distant cousin. Yet as nicely as such a face fit Inuyasha, looking at her it was obvious that he would never make a pretty woman. Sae was tall and graceful, but she could not be described as beautiful. The features looked too coarse and harsh on her, and even the gentle look in her warm eyes could not make up for it. And, as Myouga said before, despite the gentleness of her eyes, there was a distinctive firmness about her, so often present in those endowed with strong will and heart.
"I will be staying here from now on," Sesshoumaru informed her in his even voice. "I leave them to you," he indicated to the others and entered the house, considering the matter closed.
Sae turned to regard the odd group with a kind smile. She knew Jakken, he had been there before with Sesshoumaru, but the two young ones were a new addition and she couldn't help but wonder what exactly were they doing with him. Like the others, Sae had been expecting Sesshoumaru to return to his father's lands eventually, but she never imagined he would bring two children with him.
"Come along," she said finally, deciding that they probably needed rest and food more than questions.
Jakken left them to release Aun onto the grass nearby, and she led the two young ones through the shiro's corridors to have them sit down at a low table in one of the rooms, on the way replying to Myouga's greetings and inquiries about her mother. Making sure that they were indeed hungry, she brought them some food, mostly dried since there was little food in the house, as neither she nor her mother required that much sustenance and those of the lesser youkai who were still living there took care of their hunger on their own. It would have to change from now on, she noted, observing the children as they ate.
Rin was eying the older woman intently as she was leading them further into the corridors, once they were done eating. The woman seemed nice and kind, especially her eyes, so much like Sesshoumaru-sama's and yet so different at the same time.
"Are you an inu-youkai too?" Once they deposited Shippou, and Myouga with him, in one of the many rooms, Rin could no longer hold her curiosity.
"Yes." Replied Sae, looking down at the first human in centuries to set a foot inside the house. "However, I am not a taiyoukai, just an average dog mononoke."
Rin knew what a taiyoukai was, or at least she thought she did. It was a youkai that was much stronger than a normal youkai, like Sesshoumaru-sama. So maybe that's why Sesshoumaru-sama had those markings on his face while Sae-sama didn't. She looked up to the woman to observe her some more, but Sae stopped in front of a shoji door, and sliding it aside, let Rin into the room.
"This will be your room from now on, unless Sesshoumaru-sama decides otherwise," Sae informed the child and making sure the little one didn't need anything, left her to her thoughts.
Rin looked around the room in astonishment. Her room...? Her own room...? She blinked slowly, making her way to the futon on the floor to touch it cautiously. So soft.... Was she really going to be sleeping on a soft futon from now on...? She sat down on it experimentally. Somehow, it did not occur to her before that if Sesshoumaru-sama was to stay here, it would mean a great change for her too. She had been awed by the shiro, of course, but... there were so many amazing things she had seen and experienced around Sesshoumaru-sama that it somehow seemed natural. Yet, her own room... She looked around carefully. It was so large... There was only the futon, a clothes chest and a small table inside and the amount of free space overwhelmed her. How different it was from the small hut she used to live in with her family! And it wasn't so small a hut either, it had two whole rooms! But to have her own room...
She lied down on the futon carefully, testing the experience. It felt so odd, to be sleeping alone without anyone nearby, not even Jakken. She turned to her other side. It did feel comfortable, and warm, but... but... she'd rather have somebody else nearby, preferably Sesshoumaru-sama, than have a whole room to herself.
Reaching her decision, Rin got up quickly and quietly left the room. She was going to find Sesshoumaru-sama and sleep wherever he was. Unfortunately, she quickly discovered that she should've been paying more attention to her surroundings instead of Sae, because she had no idea where they had come from, where they had left Shippou, and even less of an idea where Sesshoumaru-sama could be. She walked down one of the dark corridors experimentally, trying to stay out of anybody's way and yet find Sesshoumaru-sama at the same time. But he didn't seem to be anywhere in sight, and she wasn't sure if it would be alright to check any rooms. And the further she went, the more sleepy she felt and the less she knew where she had come from and how was she to get back there.
In the morning Sae found a sleeping little girl curled up against a wall in one of the corridors and wondering what could've caused the child to end up like this, picked her up and returned her back to her assigned room.
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Sesshoumaru was standing in his father's quarters, inspecting it carefully. Nothing seemed to have changed in there since Chichi-ue had last been in the room, over 200 years ago. He glanced over to a small desk and picked up a silver comb lying there. Even his father's human woman's things, Izayoi was her name if he remembered right, were still there, from the brief period of time she had spent in the shiro. He turned the comb over in his hand. The silver had blackened over the years, loosing its shine, just like the sense of Chichi-ue's presence in the room.
Before, after his father's death, whenever he came here he felt that Chichi-ue was only temporarily away, and might come back any moment to tell his son off for entering the room without permission, like it sometimes happened when Sesshoumaru was a child. So intense and unsettling was the feeling that he remained in his own room, both directly after Chichi-ue's death and later, whenever he came to the shiro. But now... his father was no longer here, neither in flesh nor in spirit. He would not be coming back, no matter what was done to his former quarters or the house. Sesshoumaru felt strangely liberated by the discovery and experimentally flexed his claws, releasing his poison and melting the comb into a mist of green smoke.
He looked around the room again from his new perspective. Yes, he could stay here now, although any other objects belonging to his father's woman would have to share the comb's fate.
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"Arigatou!" Rin exclaimed gleefully, and promptly run away in the direction of Sesshoumaru's room while Sae remained in a moon-lit corridor, watching the child run and spread around an aura of such concentrated happiness that Sae was quite sure that the old house had never seen anything like it before.
It had been almost a month since Sesshoumaru returned to the shiro, bringing with him that little human girl, Rin, and although Sae was still clueless as to how he came to have the child around in the first place, something that interested her considerably, she was beginning to understand the simple facts of the odd relationship. Rin adored Sesshoumaru, as much as only a child could adore another person, and always wanted to be around him, no matter what he was doing at the time. She enjoyed the company of other people too, especially Shippou, and Sae too had soon become included into the list, yet it was obvious that her favorite was Sesshoumaru, without any contest. As for him, although it seemed at a first glance that the child meant nothing to him, Sae soon learnt that it was not true. He might've acted as distant with Rin as with everybody else, but there always was a different undertone to his voice whenever he addressed her, not to mention that no matter what Rin did – and that included crashing through a shoji screen twice within the first week – he would never scold her.
Sae smiled to herself, thinking back to how she had found Rin after her first night in the shiro. She knew now why the child left her room – to search for her Sesshoumaru-sama, because she didn't want to sleep alone in a large room, with nobody around. She felt slightly guilty for not having thought about it before she put Rin and Shippou in different rooms, even though they had to get used to it sooner or later. Rin had gotten used to it eventually, although her first question that morning was where Sesshoumaru was, and ever since she learnt the way to his room, she would sometimes sneak into it during some particularly lonely night, whether he was there or not.
And it so happened that tonight – for all Sae knew – Sesshoumaru was actually going to be not only there but also asleep. Rin broke into a smile so wide it almost reached her ears upon hearing it, and run there happily, no doubt to try to sneak up on the sleeping youkai.
Sae chuckled to herself imagining the scene, and letting her curiosity get the better of her, followed the little girl.
Rin was running swiftly through the corridors. By now she knew her way around the shiro, although it took her and Shippou quite some time, and a lot of questions to Myouga, to discover all there was to discover about the place. Yet the most important information was where Sesshoumaru-sama's room was, and she made sure to learn it as quickly as she only could.
Sliding the shoji door aside carefully – they were very tricky, those things – she slipped silently into the room and, trying to be as quiet as only possible in the dark, crept to where she knew the futon was, in the inner room. Her smiled widened even more when she got there, for Sesshoumaru-sama was indeed asleep. Rin had never seen him asleep before, he was always awake when she would fall asleep and just as awake in the morning. When she had first asked about it, Jakken told her not to be so stupid and that such powerful youkai as Sesshoumaru-sama didn't need much sleep. So knowing it was a rare thing, she edged closer to the futon and sat down on its edge. She could see Sesshoumaru-sama quite clearly in the moonlight, he had his eyes closed and his lips were slightly parted. He was also wearing something different than the clothes he wore usually and she was amazed how different it made him look. For as long as she had known him, he would always wear the same thing, and in her mind his white clothes were just as much a part of him as his white hair. She sat still for a few moments, marveling at the change, before she leaned in even closer, and seeing that he was not waking up, reached out and gently traced her finger along the lines on his cheek, confirming to herself that they didn't feel any different than the rest of his skin. Eying him intently she saw his nose twitch lightly but he was still not waking up. Rin stifled a laugh. Sesshoumaru-sama might not be sleeping often, but he sure slept soundly. Sighing contently she crawled onto the futon and made herself comfortable next to him, falling asleep quickly, and just as soundly.
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Sae reached the open door and stepping lightly inside, peered in the direction of the futon. She laughed to herself. Rin not only managed to find Sesshoumaru asleep, but she was actually able to sneak up on him without alerting him to her presence, quite an achievement indeed.
Watching them sleep, Sae realized that she hadn't seen Sesshoumaru asleep that many times herself either. She could remember only two instances, and both were from when the two of them were children. One was when she was sent to the writing room for her daily writing practice and getting there she found that Sesshoumaru, whose turn it was to practice before, instead of covering the stone board with countless strokes, had fallen asleep on the floor next to the low writing table, with his small hand still clasped tightly around the coal piece. She chuckled to herself. Those were memorable times, when the two of them started learning how to read and write. How old were they then...? Around 20, she supposed, looking intently at the sleeping two. And yet still smaller than Rin was now, which was not that surprising really, since youkai grew differently than humans. They sprouted up at first and learned to walk and talk almost as early as human children, but then their growth would slow down to a crawl, and the stronger the kind of youkai they belonged to, the slower the growth. Thus, even though they had been small, they were able to comprehend the rules of reading and writing.
Smiling gently in the darkness of the room, she allowed her thoughts to wander back to the time when Touga-sama returned to the shiro from one of his long journeys with a Buddhist monk and promptly announced that the two of them were to learn modern writing. Where exactly did he get the monk in the first place...? Her brow creased, as she was trying to recall everything she could remember about it, but the knowledge eluded her, maybe because she had never stopped to ask about it back then. Perhaps her mother would remember. Yet, however he came to know Touga-sama, the monk – whose name was Taira... no, that's the name of the samurai clan, Tairo, that's it – the monk named Tairo proved to be very educated on the subject of writing and very eager to bestow the knowledge on the two children. And thus soon the two of them were smearing coal all over the stone boards he made for them, although truth be told, it was Touga-sama himself who was the most diligent of Tairo-sensei's students. She chuckled again to herself at the memory of how eager the taiyoukai was to catch up with the new alphabet. When Touga-sama was a child, writing had been still unknown in Japan, and although – as she remembered her mother saying – he became interested in it as soon as he first heard of it, during one of his journeys to the continent, he learnt it properly only after it had been introduced in his homeland. Yet, during the centuries after, writing rules had changed greatly and kana had been introduced, so he found himself lacking in his abilities.
Sae smiled to herself again. Yes, that had been a good time for them all, filled with warm afternoons eagerly spent in the writing room or under the trees in the garden, full of diligent scribbling and carefree laughter. But soon Touga-sama had learnt all he wanted to learn and left the shiro again, and she and Sesshoumaru were not allowed to practice together anymore. Tairo-sensei stayed with them for many years however, but left on his way eventually, when he decided that despite their small size, the two children knew everything about writing they would ever need to know.
Rin curled up on the futon, shaking slightly from the cold that was steadily creeping into the shiro along with the budding winter, and Sae moved closer quietly, to pick her up and gently place her under the covers. The girl looked too comfortable here to be taken away, Sae decided with a mischievous smile, glancing at her sleeping companion, who looked just as peacefully as he did when she had seen him asleep for the first time. It had also been the first time she had seen him in general, she recalled, leaving the room and sliding the shoji behind her. She was seven then, and although most of her memories from the time were hazy in her mind, this one stood out clearly, probably because everybody was talking about Sesshoumaru then. He had been born just two weeks before and she and her mother went to finally see Touga-sama's newborn son. She remembered being held by her mother's arms as they looked down on the sleeping infant. He had white hair and stripes on his cheeks, just like Touga-sama, only in a different color, but what caught her attention at once was the half-moon on his forehead. Many youkai had various markings on their foreheads, but she had never seen any with a half-moon before. She even reached out to touch it, but her mother stopped her and told her not to bother him about it.
So much had changed since then, and yet so much remained the same, Sae thought, looking up into the starry skies as she walked through the inner courtyard and out to the garden for a midnight walk. Well over 300 years had passed since then, and she still didn't know why Sesshoumaru had a half-moon on his forehead. She knew now what Isei-sama, Sesshoumaru's mother, said about it, and why she was not to bother him about the marking, but Sae never believed it to be true. Still, she thought leaving the garden and entering the forest behind it, time would show.
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Sesshoumaru woke up hazily, squinting his eyes against the sun that was playing on his face and feeling some abnormal warmth on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at his side and inspect the sensation, and was greeted by the sight of Rin, curled up at his side and contently asleep. Her hands were grasped firmly onto the sleeve of his yukata, and even in her sleep she was smiling lightly. He felt surprised that she had managed to sneak into his bed without waking him up. Usually, he remained quite alert to any movement around him even when he slept, but he had to admit he had been tired this time, so perhaps that was the cause.
Although she would have probably sneaked up on him sooner or later, he thought, eying the child. She had come to his room at night a few times before, and at first, when he had found her sleeping in his bed as if that was the best place for a child like her to sleep, his first impulse was to wake her up and send her back to her room, but some distant memory of his own childhood made him remember why she had come there and he stopped, letting her stay. After all, what did it matter to him if she slept there when she felt in need of company? He hardly ever used the futon anyway, and if she found it to her liking, even when he was not in the room, there was no harm in her occasionally using it for her own.
Yet sleeping on his futon while he too was sleeping there was something altogether different and Sesshoumaru wasn't entirely sure how he felt about it. It wasn't that she had bothered him, after all he didn't even know she was there. But... he frowned inwardly, feeling that odd sensation of unease and incongruity creep into him again. It just... wasn't right. It wasn't right for her to feel so content in his presence and it wasn't right for him to let her. Yes, she had often slept next to him on colder nights, but it was a necessity and not... not like this. This just... wasn't right. He was about to get up and leave, but she woke up suddenly, yawning heartily and squinting her eyes, just like he did, before she fixed her eyes on his and a small smile grew on her face.
"Sesshoumaru-sama was asleep." She said confidentially and for a moment he felt as if he had inadvertently broken some important rule.
But she didn't dwell on it. After looking at him in silence for a moment longer, she sprung up abruptly and flashing him a bright smile announced that she was going to get a bath and so run out of the room, waving him a quick goodbye.
Sesshoumaru looked after her thoughtfully. Why was it that she acted so happy whenever he was around...? Why was it enough for him to just be there and she would brighten up like sun peeking out from behind the clouds? And why would it always make him feel so... oddly gratified?
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Rin carefully slid the doors closed behind her and walked slowly down the corridor. It wasn't that she was not intending to get a bath, she was, but... it wasn't why she left. She did not intend to sleep next to Sesshoumaru-sama, she just wanted to look at him sleep some more, and fell asleep without meaning to. And even though he didn't say anything, she could somehow sense that Sesshoumaru-sama wasn't pleased about it. She always knew that Sesshoumaru-sama didn't like to touch other people, he just seemed like somebody who doesn't like it. She remembered that night in winter when it was so cold and Sesshoumaru-sama took off his armor to let her sleep closer, she had been so surprised then, and it felt so strange to touch him at first, as if she was doing something she wasn't supposed to, even though he let her. But when she put her head on his chest and heard his heart-beat, it made everything different, it made Sesshoumaru-sama seem so close and so familiar and known. Rin smiled slyly to herself, it was so silly of her to be surprised that Sesshoumaru-sama had a heart, after all, everybody does, don't they? But he always seemed so different than everybody else, so maybe that's why.
Entering her room, she grabbed the bath supplies she got from Sae-sama – it made her smell so nice – and headed out of the shiro towards the inner courtyard, while wondering why was it that Sesshoumaru-sama didn't like to touch people. It was obvious to her that it was a good thing to touch others, so why wouldn't he want to? Frowning lightly, she decided to ask Sae-sama about it later, since Sae-sama always seemed to know a lot about Sesshoumaru-sama.
"Shippou-chan?" She shouted once she was outside. He preferred spending most of his time outside, but he was usually near enough for her to be able to get his attention this way.
And soon enough the small kitsune appeared from the direction of the forest that grew abundant behind the shiro. Rin didn't waste time in asking him if he wanted to go to the onsen with her, and since he did, they were soon borrowing Aun for their small excursion. Although there was a bathhouse in the shiro, Rin had quickly found that being a human was a major disadvantage when living mostly with youkai who neither needed to bathe that often nor got cold enough to appreciate the pleasure of soaking in hot water. It took her too long to heat the water and thus she preferred to use the onsen Sae-sama showed her. It wasn't that close nearby, but close enough to be worth the trip.
As they were flying on the back of the two-headed dragon, Shippou noticed that somebody else decided to join them.
"Oy, Myouga," he started, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, "are you going with us to perv on Rin?"
"How can you say such a thing!" Myouga gurgled with indignation, "I do not 'perv', as you phrase it, on any young ladies, and even if I did, Rin is still far too young!"
Shippou cast him a doubtful glance. He could clearly remember Miroku say that Myouga was a kindred spirit who could appreciate the beauty of the feminine shapes, and if Miroku said that Myouga was his kindred spirit, then obviously the flea must have been as much of a pervert as Miroku.
"I merely want to warm myself up, fleas don't like the cold, you know." Myouga huffed grudgingly to protect his impugned dignity.
Shippou wasn't entirely convinced, but he did recall from a conversation with Miroku that perving involved admiring 'full curves'. He leaned to the side to peer at the chest of the girl sitting in front of him. Nope, flat as a board. Then maybe Myouga was indeed just cold. Not that it mattered, they were almost there, so if Myouga wanted to perv, he would, either way.
Soon, they descended swiftly and landed near the onsen. After a quick scrub and lots of giggly water splashing – Myouga was ostensibly not looking – they lowered themselves into the hot waters and began savoring its warmth against the cold winter air.
"Say, Myouga-sama," Rin suddenly remembered something she had forgotten, again, "what kind of a dog Sesshoumaru-sama is?"
Myouga gazed up to her from the rock he was perched on, puzzled by the line of her thoughts. What kind of a dog Sesshoumaru-sama is? Vicious...?
"In his other form," Rin added quickly, seeing he didn't know what she was asking about. "He does have another form, right?"
Ah, so that's what she meant. Myouga regarded the child thoughtfully. How should he phrase it? And how much did she know about Sesshoumaru-sama in the first place? It was a question that had occurred to him before, and yet he still wasn't sure. From her conversations with Shippou he had surmised that Sesshoumaru-sama used Tenseiga to revive her, after she had been killed by wolves, and that she chose to follow him because he was the first person to be nice to her ever since her family died. Myouga sighed inwardly. He didn't know what was it that Sesshoumaru-sama did to be considered 'nice', other than reviving her, although he had to admit that during his stay with them Sesshoumaru-sama indeed acted different with her than with anybody else. But still... did she really know whom exactly she had chosen to follow...?
"I heard from Kagome that he's a very big white dog," Shippou cut in before Myouga could reach any decision. "With red scary eyes, lots of sharp teeth and poisonous saliva."
That was undoubtedly true, Myouga couldn't deny it. He eyed the girl intently, watching how she would take the news.
Rin frowned slightly in concentration. Scary...? Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama could be scary, although the only time she remembered being in any way scared of him was when she saw him for the first time and he intentionally tried to scare her off. But she had never been scared of him after that, she wasn't even that scared then. Other people were often scared of Sesshoumaru-sama though, that much she knew. And Shippou-chan told her about how much he had been afraid of Sesshoumaru-sama during the first few times Inuyasha-tachi fought with him. Yet even he said that he stopped being that afraid of Sesshoumaru-sama later on. Then... was Sesshoumaru-sama really scary or not? Was he like the spider woman? Pretty normally but frightening in his other form...? She sighed heavily, unable to decide.
"But Kagome said that he wasn't all that big in comparison to Inuyasha's father," Shippou continued his recollections, unaware of her dilemma. "Inuyasha's father was really huge though, I mean really huge. Even his smallest teeth were so much larger than me!" he finished in awed wonder, remembering their visit to the youkai graveyard.
"That is true," Myouga confirmed the kitsune's assessment, "Touga-sama was indeed enormous in his true form." He paused, recalling the many times he had seen his former master transformed. "However Sesshoumaru-sama is still rather young, so it's not surprising that he is smaller. But should he live long enough, he will undoubtedly match his father's greatness."
Shippou shook his head thoughtfully, feeling grateful that Sesshoumaru was still young since otherwise Kagome and Inuyasha would've probably died before he met them. Yet Rin wasn't listening, too busy mulling over one particular thing Myouga said. True form...? Did it mean that Sesshoumaru-sama was really a dog who only looked like a human sometimes...? But he always looked like a human! Her frown deepened as she remembered that when she saw Sesshoumaru-sama for the first time, his eyes were all red, and she was pretty sure that no human could have such eyes. And he did look a bit different when that monk was trying to take her away. How was it then...?
"Myouga-sama, what do you mean by 'true form'? Isn't Sesshoumaru-sama's normal form his true form...?" She asked a bit apprehensively, not really knowing what to think about it.
Myouga thought about his answer carefully. "In a sense, I suppose it is," he began slowly, "he can't really change how he looks in the human form, so it's a natural from for him, to an extent. But," she'd have to get used to it, sooner or later, "since he is an inu-youkai, his dog form is considered to be his true form, the true manifestation of his origin and power."
Rin fell silent after that, and remained silent even when they were already heading back to the shiro. She was too occupied with analyzing what she had heard to pay attention to Myouga and Shippou's continuing conversation. She had always known that youkai were somehow different than humans, yet she thought it was because they looked a bit different, lived longer, were usually stronger and faster, and could do a lot of things that a human couldn't. But she didn't think it was because they were that different. Still, she pondered, did it really matter if Sesshoumaru-sama was really a dog, even a scary one...? He was still Sesshoumaru-sama, after all. Watching the ground fly past them underneath, she thought of all the things Sesshoumaru-sama did for her, of how he would always protect her, of how familiar his heart-beat was, and of how warm and safe she felt then. No, she decided finally, it didn't matter at all. Sesshoumaru-sama was Sesshoumaru-sama, that's the way it had always been and that's the way it would always be, nothing could change that.
And, her thoughts continued in their newly found certainty when they landed Aun at the shiro, youkai were not all that different from humans at all. They might be living in "a different world", as that monk had told her, but all in all they were the same. They wanted things, just like she did, they needed things, just like she did, and they felt things, just like she did. Without their unusual appearances and powers they were just like humans.
She frowned, remembering something else she was supposed to find out. Then why didn't Sesshoumaru-sama like to touch others? It couldn't be because he was a youkai, Shippou liked to snuggle up during cold nights just like she did. It also couldn't be because Sesshoumaru-sama was an inu-youkai, Sae-sama liked to touch others, or at least she didn't seem to dislike it. Then it must be that it was just because Sesshoumaru-sama didn't like it, not because he was a youkai of any kind, but just because he was Sesshoumaru-sama. And that meant he had to have some reason for it.
Determined to discover why was it that Sesshoumaru-sama didn't like to touch others while everybody else seemed to like it, Rin continued decidedly into the shiro and after a short search, found Sae-sama.
"Sae-sama, why doesn't Sesshoumaru-sama like to touch others?" Rin went straight to the point, since it was important.
Sae looked down to her in astonishment. Why doesn't Sesshoumaru like to touch others...? Didn't she mean why he dislikes it...? Although she supposed that from Rin's point of view her question was formed the correct way. In either case, she didn't know what to answer to the small girl that had somehow wandered into the world of somebody who didn't like to touch others. Sesshoumaru just was that way, for as long as she could remember him. No, Sae realized with surprise, as the distinction between the two ways to put it made itself clear in her mind, he didn't use to dislike it when they were children, he just didn't like it. He did not seek physical contact with others but did not object in any visible way to being touched. She looked down to Rin in contemplation, trying to find an answer that would be best for both the child and her protector.
"He's just not used to it," It was true, she supposed, hoping that her words would not lead the child into trouble.
Rin carefully weighted the words in her mind. Sesshoumaru-sama didn't like to touch others because he wasn't used to it...? Her brow wrinkled in confusion, how could he be not used to it if everybody was used to it, people touched each other all the time. But, she realized with a start, maybe Sesshoumaru-sama just never had anyone who would want to touch him? A smile grew quickly on her face as the answer seemed obvious to her now. If that was the case, then he just needed somebody to make him used to it.
"Arigatou!' She smiled brightly at Sae-sama in gratitude for her help.
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"Do they ever think ahead?" Sesshoumaru asked nobody in particular as the parchment crumbled in his fingers and rained to the floor.
He had never really paid any special attention to all the things that his father for this or another reason found interesting and decided to take with him during his many journeys, but this morning, when he was passing by the room that Chichi-ue managed to litter to the full with his various finds, he felt tempted to inspect the room's contents a bit closer, like he had done a few times during his childhood. So far he spotted a substantial amount of dusty books, a broken sword, human sword no less, a shabby old vase with some knotty imprints on it, a jar filled with some grayish, unidentifiable substance – he decided against inspecting it – and numerous scrolls and parchment pieces. There were so many of the last items in particular on one shelf that he felt as if he was in a hut of a wise-woman, in search of some mundane spell. Reaching for one of the parchment pieces he half expected it to contain something about fool moons, lizard tails and dragon blood but the paper crumbled in his hand the moment he touched it. Oh well, he wasn't all that interested in any obscure magic recipes anyway.
A sun ray caught one of the objects in the room and it shimmered brightly, bringing his attention to it. Picking it up absent-mindedly he felt some vague memories stir in the back of his mind. It was a bronze mirror, a Chinese one, judging from its back designs, and as he was holding it carefully he recalled playing with it many times when he was a child. Mirrors were interesting in general, you hardly ever saw what you would expect when looking in them, but this mirror had an additional, very unique appeal. When used to reflect light against a smooth dark surface it would show not only a round circle of light, which in itself was amusing enough for a child, but also a grey outline of a sitting person, some human deity actually, if he remembered right. When he was a small boy he used to play with it often, casting the reflection on various surfaces or testing how would it change if he placed his hand in front of it. How simple a child's world can be, he mused idly, experimentally casting the reflection on the wall.
A shuffling sound behind him interrupted his thoughts and he turned to see its source. It was Rin, she was peeking into the room, obviously searching for him since the moment she spotted him, she run over, surprisingly without bumping into anything, and promptly latched herself onto his leg, hugging it tightly.
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" She announced, looking up to him and smiling brightly.
Yes, that was his name, he was well aware of it, but what on earth was wrong with the child today? First she sneaks into his bed, then runs away without saying much about it and now attaches herself to him as if he had been away for weeks, at least.
"Ah! What is it?" Rin exclaimed, pointing to the unusual object in his hand and taking his thoughts away from whatever was out of order within her.
He glanced back to the mirror, feeling some of the childish pleasure he used to feel whenever he played with it as a child. Rin would probably be just as awed by the phenomenon as he was the first time he discovered it. But when he demonstrated to her what the mirror was and how it could make an image appear seemingly out of nowhere, he noticed that she was just as much awed by the very fact that it reflected her own face back at her. She had most likely never seen a mirror up close before, and used to rely on water to see her own appearance. In either case, she seemed to be enjoying herself, just as he suspected she would.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," she asked, tracing her finger along the intricate designs on the mirror's back, "can I play with it some more?"
"You can keep it," he replied. After all, it was of no use to him and she would undoubtedly utilize it properly, not only as a child, but also as a female.
She smiled brightly again, and just like before latched herself onto his leg, holding on so firmly that for a moment he felt tempted to try to shake her off, just to see if he'd even be able to. But she let go quickly, and thanking him with another of her smiles turned back to inspecting the mirror. He looked at her pensively. Whatever it was that made her so excitable today, he could only hope she'd fix herself soon enough.
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Language notes:
otouchan – affectionate word for "little brother'"
shoji – it's actually 'shouji' in Japanese, but it's mostly referred to as 'shoji' in English. Literally, it means just "paper sliding door", though in reality there are many various kinds of shoji. Some serve as doors, some as screens, some as room walls and some as house walls.
General notes:
Izayoi – Although from Movie 3 it seems as if Izayoi lived with her family, I don't think that her relationship with Touga was that 'fleeting', so to speak. It seems to me that he cared too much for her, and for Inuyasha, for it to be just a 'fling'. Moreover, Izayoi was expecting him to come for her, which implies that she should've been with him, but wasn't. Later on, I will include a more detailed story about it.
Touga – As most Inuyasha fans would probably agree, Touga seems to be a very interesting character, somewhat a mixture of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru. I plan to add some more mentions of him, for the general feel of Sesshoumaru's past, and his relationship with his father, but that's about it.
Sae – She's an odd character that I hope the readers will like. She just appeared in my mind when I was thinking about the fic, and I couldn't shake her off from the story since then. She won't be having any serious role, but will be featured somewhat regularly I feel. If I remember right, her name (an actual Japanese name) means something like 'calm', or 'gentle'.
Usumaru – I think I have foreshadowed clearly enough that there's a story behind him, although he is just an episodic character. I named him mostly to avoid vagueness, in reality he could've remained nameless just as well. 'Usumaru' means "to become weak", which shows how out of ideas I was by then ;)
Isei – She'll be back too, as you have probably guessed, but again, just as a recollection.
