Disclaimer: I do not hold any rights to Inuyasha in any form or way, nor do I make any profit out of writing this fic.

Reviews: Once again, thank you all wonderful people who decided to take the time to review, it really means a lot to me!

Anonymous (you know who you are ;)), liberatedmysterygirl – Thank you very much! My favourite kind of reviewers! ;)

RabidAnimeGurl, Tarwen – Unfortunately, the plan I had in mind for Rin's ploy to get Sesshoumaru used to being touched got moved to the next chapter, due to the sudden explosion in size of this one.

Somebody – Whether one spells "daimyou" or "daimyoo" depends on which romanization system (or which variation of the most common Hepburn romanization system) you decide to use to indicate a long "o" sound. Notice however that if you decide to follow through with the "oo" spelling, you would also have to spell Myooga, Shippoo and Sesshoomaru, if you wanted to remain true to the original pronunciation and not just cut out the long vowels.As for the plural of nouns – I have no idea what you are referring to, but I assume you are referring to my note on "-tachi", which is indeed a way to indicate plurality of people, or rather to mark a group of people, which in statements such as "kodomo-tachi" – "children", makes no difference. Japanese has many non-standard ways to indicate plurality, especially when it comes to people and "-tachi" just happens to be one of them.

And moreover, and this is a general notice, I never said I know Japanese well, in fact, my Japanese only allows me to hold a simple conversation or read a manga (with a heavy use of a dictionary) but the finer points of for example Inuyasha, when I watch it without subtitles, still elude me.

hi – I have to admit you got me there, "otouchan" is used to refer to "father" not "younger brother" and I had not checked it before. I was searching for a more affectionate term for "little brother" and just used it on the fly, assuming that it would be parallel to "neechan" or "niichan", since you can (supposedly) also use "oto" for "younger brother". But it seems it's not used like that, so thank you for pointing it out and if you know any less standard term for "otouto", please let me know!

TamamoHitomi – I assume you never got my email, or else you would've known ;) But you will find out nevertheless, oh you will! ::insert evil laughter::

Kira – I had no idea that 19 (20 thanks to you!) reviews is little, I had been very happy that so many people found it to their liking. Still, as long as there's at least one person who is enjoying it, then all is well! And it's also very nice to be able to answer to all reviews personally :D

Note: This chapter somehow turned out atrociously long too, it was supposed to be half this long and instead contain more developments, but alas, it just grew on its own. I'm not entirely happy with it either, there are parts where I feel I didn't exploit the potential of the situation as I should've, so perhaps I'll rewrite it someday, but those parts were taking forever to write and I felt I just had enough of them. Moreover, it's horridly slow, but I've already cut out some, so you'll have to pardon me here.

Moreover, upon re-reading the whole thing, I spotted a few mistakes and I'm surprised nobody pointed them out :P

1. Jaken is spelled "Jaken", not "Jakken" and I have no idea why I got fixed on the double 'k';

2. Touga, or whatever his name is supposed to be, had only one stripe each cheek, not two (at least according to Movie 3);

3. There had been a taiyoukai who aged – Housenki, but I am still to look into the matter in detail;

4. Myouga is called "Myouga-jijii", not "jiji" (at least according to Inuyasha no tsubo), although the latter is a valid ending too. And I think Shippou calls him "jii", which is another variation on the same meaning;

5. "full moon" is spelled with "full", not "fool" and it's a ghastly mistake I cringed at in horror.

There are some minor mistakes too, but a) I don't have a beta reader and b) I'd rather not have anyone know about them anyway. ::is planning to revise them quietly::

And btw. does anyone know how to insert for a example an asterix in here? It always gets deleted when uploading for me and it's seriously limiting my emotive range ;)

Since I watch only the Japanese version and prefer to use the Japanese terminology, there are language notes at the end of the chapter.

Again, I need to include some cultural notes at the beginning. It takes ages to research, but since I truly don't want to make some wristwatch blunder, I don't really have a choice but to find out as much as I can about the realities of life in 16th century Japan. 0.0

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Cultural notes

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Heating: As outrageous as it seems, traditional Japanese houses lack any heating systems whatsoever, even nowadays. So naturally, it gets very cold inside during winter (even though the altitude of Tokyo doesn't get much snow) and the fact that traditional Japanese houses are supposed to "extend" to the garden and the outside in general, hence the large sliding doors and famous paper walls, does not help in the slightest. So the Japanese always had to find some other means of warming their houses up and the most standard means include a hibachi, which is a large (30-40cm in diameter) porcelain jar, half filled with sooth and sand in which you can have a fire going (it can be used for small cooking too) and the kotatsu – have some heat source under a table (or if you're wealthy enough have a special pit dug out in the floor for both your legs and the heat source), cover the table with a large kakebuton – a Japanese quilt – then press it down to the table with another table top and then slide your legs under the kakebuton. Of course, the rest of your body would still be cold but oh well, always something. I found out the most about it from here:

www . davidappleyard . com / japan / jp10 . htm

The article also includes information on the Korean ondol – pipes with hot water or steam under the floor, and the Chinese kang – basically a stove you can also sleep on.

Kohaku: "Kohaku" means "amber" and the character Kohaku's name is also written as amber. Japan does have amber deposits, somewhere around the Tokyo region, so it would be on the other coast of Honshuu from where I have located them at the moment. Moreover, I have no idea whether the Japanese amber gets washed up by the sea or does it have to be mined for, but in either case I think a randomly found amber piece would still have a mostly rough surface.

Rice cooking: Cooking rice Japanese style is a much more complicated matter than cooking parboiled or any pre-processed rice, but I decided to skip the unnecessary details, same with kitchen details, since it was also not as simple as one room called 'kitchen" ("Glad you skipped it", you probably say...)

Makura no shoushi: (or soshi if you'd rather) It's an authentic Japanese book, written by Sei Shounagon in the 10th/11th century and known in English as "The Pillow Book". She was a court lady to one of the Emperor's wives and her book is often called a "10th century blog" since it resembles such a diary a lot, although it also contains essays and various lists (for example of "Hateful things" from which the well-known quote included here was taken). It is full of contemplation of life in general and of biting witticisms at the expense of the court society, but also of very biased praises of the Empress Sei Shounagon was serving and of those whom she supported politically in general. Parts of the book had – accidentally – spread through the court during the author's life, but I have no idea whether it had ever been known to a more general public at the time. So the image of Sesshoumaru reading it is mostly intended as a joke.

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Chapter 6

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"Goodbye then, Sesshoumaru," said his guest and turned to leave.

Sesshoumaru left the room too, without caring much if he was being impolite towards the older youkai. Although he probably was, Hourou was the kind of man who always paid attention to the proper decorum of things, even if 'proper' from his point of view mostly. He was also a stern, uncompromising and austere kind of person, and Sesshoumaru never enjoyed his company much, not that he enjoyed the company of many to begin with. But Hourou happened to be one of the Western Lands' hanshu's and his visit was expectable and had to be endured. And since it was Hourou, the timing of the visit was also expectable – 3 months after Sesshoumaru's return, when it became apparent that it was not just a temporary stay. The conversation was just as unsurprising, whether he would remain here permanently and what were his plans in relation to the two human daimyou's that had established themselves in the lands. He replied quite truthfully that he had not made any decisions in regard to either of the issues, yet will inform him once he does, which concluded the visit as neither of them was fond of small talk.

Which was much more than could ever be said about the other hanshu, Kisho, who had visited him over a month earlier. Unlike Hourou, who had been Chichi-ue's ally from long ago, Kisho only inherited the position of his pack's leader from his father. He was weak, strong enough to retain his position but nothing more, and also very aware of it and hence groveling almost as badly as Jaken. Fortunately, unlike with Hourou, who also happened to be his grandfather, with Kisho Sesshoumaru didn't have to endure anything, and promptly told the sycophantic grey dog to get lost.

That left only Shuukatsu, the last of the hanshu's, of sorts. Unlike the other two, Shuukatsu was not an inu-youkai, but an eagle youkai. He had been Chichi-ue's long time friend, albeit Sesshoumaru always felt that it was a peculiar friendship, and did not dwell permanently in the Western Lands, or anywhere else. In terms of youki, he was not too strong, but his crafty mind, extreme speed and expertise in swordsmanship made him a formidable opponent and he was considered important in the lands. Sesshoumaru was expecting him to show up sooner or later.

An excited voice interrupted both his thoughts and his steps.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama! Look!" He stopped when Rin's thrilled squeals reached his ears and he glanced to her as she sat at a small table in a room he was passing by, sighing inwardly when he realized that she had him in the full line of her view and there was no way he could leave and pretend he had never been there, she would just follow him anyway. Walking over to the table, he hoped with all his might that this time his clothes would not get stained by coal. It was quite difficult to get rid of such stains, even from youkai clothing.

Some time after they came to the shiro, three months ago, he remembered that Rin, and the fox child too for that matter, were in desperate need of education on reading, writing and counting. He asked Sae to take care of the problem, and she obliged gladly, pleased with the idea. And so the two young ones, just like he and Sae centuries before, began spending many hours scribbling diligently on the stone boards. Or at least in the fox child's case that's what they were supposed to be doing. From what he had surmised, Shippou often made himself scarce during practice time, opting to wander around the forests outside instead, even though winter was already fully upon the land and Myouga refused to go anywhere with him. Not that it mattered, if the boy preferred to remain a half literate moron, it was his right to do so and Sesshoumaru was not one to deny him the pleasure.

Rin however turned out to be more than satisfactorily conscientious in her efforts, and truth be told he found it somewhat surprising. Not that he thought the child to be stupid, despite the many incomprehensible things she was in habit of doing he believed her to be smart enough, especially for her age. Yet she always appeared to him to be rather rattle-headed in her approach to knowledge and logic and he did not expect her to enjoy the long hours of repetitive practice, even if she could understand that it was beneficial to her future. But she seemed to be enjoying it more than enough, as he had found a few days ago when she sought him out to show him that she had managed to write down all the hiragana symbols from memory. Unfortunately, in her excitement she failed to realize that her hands had been thoroughly dirtied in the process and thus, when she latched onto him as soon as he nodded his approval of her efforts, she left very neat imprints on his white clothes.

He frowned inwardly. That was another problem. He had assumed that the clinginess that started on the day she sneaked into his bed was due to some temporary excitement and that she would soon return to her normal self, but it did not happen so. Ever since then she kept latching herself onto him for the most insignificant reasons and he was unsure what to think about it. She somehow always managed to break the contact before he had a chance to say anything, although in all honesty he had no idea what to say. She was just a child after all, and he was aware that she did not mean anything wrong by it, but... it was just... inappropriate. He was not her father nor any close relative, he was just... His frown deepened, as he could not find any satisfactory word to describe his relation to the child and it was surprisingly unnerving.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, look! Look!" Rin had her hand stretched out towards him, wanting him to look at some piece of paper and he reached out to see what exactly had made her so agitated this time.

Rin was looking up to Sesshoumaru-sama expectantly, hoping he would be pleased, especially since it took her so much effort to be able to do it. At first, when Sae-sama started to teach her how to write, Rin found it quite interesting how some odd marks could be used to mean the words she said, but it quickly turned out that writing was not easy at all. It required a lot of practice and she soon established that she'd rather play outside with Shippou-chan than spend so much time repeatedly writing the same symbols only to discover on the next day that she had already forgotten half of them. But then Sae-sama told her that if she learned all hiragana, she would show her how to write Sesshoumaru-sama's name in kanji and Rin was instantly captured by the prospect. So she practiced as much as she could and finally today Sae-sama indeed showed her how to do it, and even gave her some paper and ink, instead of a stone board and coal, so that she could make it permanent. At first she couldn't copy it at all, the symbols were so complex, but Sae-sama told her to take her time and left her to the practice that for once was very enjoyable. It took her over two hours though to be able to write it properly.

Sesshoumaru was looking at the paper in disbelief and found himself in lack for words. Those were the most awkward, clumsy and unshapely kanji he had ever seen. The proportions were all wrong, the strokes were all shaky and overall the symbols looked as if they were about to fall apart any moment. It was his name alright, but it was looking so shabby that he was starting to feel shabby himself, just because he was looking at it. He glanced at the child, noticing that she was obviously very proud of her work and expecting him to say something about it. The only thing he could possibly say was that it was the most appalling piece of calligraphy he had ever seen, yet knowing how much effort she had put into her practice he did not wish to discourage her from further efforts. But he couldn't approve of such an atrocity committed on his name either.

Looking at the writing table he found his solution in the form of a blank piece of paper.

"Pick up your brush, Rin," he told her, placing the paper sheet before her.

When she complied, he moved to stand behind her and placing his hand over hers led it to write his name in a more acceptable manner. There, he thought inspecting the results, the perfect solution. It looked good enough and he didn't have to say anything about her writing.

Rin was looking at the paper in awe. Sesshoumaru-sama had such a beautiful writing style! Sae-sama had a very nice one too, but hers was more decisive and firm, while Sesshoumaru-sama's was so elegant and flowing. She glanced to what she had written before and cringed at the comparison. She thought she could write Sesshoumaru-sama's name, yet now it was obvious to her that she couldn't do it at all. But, she decided firmly, she was going to practice as much as it took to be able to write as prettily as Sesshoumaru-sama. To add flesh to her resolution, she took up the brush again and appended her own name in hiragana to the paper, smiling at the satisfactory results.

Sesshoumaru looked at the child in thought. He was dimly hoping that she would not decide to hug him, especially since her hands were stained with ink all over, but there was a more important thought on his mind. There was something different about the feel of her today, he decided, looking down at his hand that just held her own. He had many occasions to make himself familiar with her touch recently, and thus he was quite certain it was different today.

"Rin, show me your hands," he said promptly, wanting to test if his senses were correct.

She looked up to him surprised but obliged nevertheless, stretching her small hands out to him, and as he captured them both with his own, his suspicions were indeed confirmed. Her hands were much warmer than usual, and although he did not know what it meant, he was sure it had not happened before. Inspecting her carefully, he soon found that there were more odd factors about her today. Her eyes had a strange glow to them, her cheeks were slightly pinkish and her heart-beat was faster than usual. He frowned, displeased that he had none whatsoever idea whether it was to be expected of a human or not. Whatever it was, he decided finally, it would either disappear or make itself more identifiable soon enough.

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Yet when the evening came, Rin's strange state remained as mysterious as it had been, despite being more apparent. Sesshoumaru had just returned from a casual stroll around the snow covered forest, and when he run into the young ones who had just been to the onsen, he quickly noticed that Rin's cheeks were even redder now, her heart-beat was still too fast and she also begun making odd coughing sounds. The fox child seemed to have noticed it too and he stated that Rin probably 'got a cold', whatever that meant, and should keep herself warm. Not really knowing what else to do, Sesshoumaru took Rin to Sae, who, as far as he knew, had more experience with humans than him.

Sae confirmed Shippou's assertion of Rin's state. She didn't know all that much about humans, but she did remember quite clearly from the time when Izayoi-sama was staying in the shiro that cold was very detrimental to their health and should be avoided as much as possible, since otherwise they would often fall ill. Rin didn't seem that ill to her, yet she agreed with Shippou that she should keep herself warm. Thus, despite protests, Rin was sent to bed and Sae promised to bring her a snack and to keep checking up on her. Since Sae seemed to know what she was doing, Sesshoumaru left them to return to his quarters and continue reading a book he found among his father's things and which surprisingly proved to be quite entertaining.

However, after a few hours of peace his ears caught the familiar sound of small feet tottering along against the wooden floor and he was perfectly aware that it meant his futon was going to be occupied that night. Yet when Rin entered the room, there was none of her usual joy at the prospect of sleeping in there while he was in the room too. She only glanced to him hazily and trudged on to the futon, dropping onto it heavily and wrapping herself laboriously in the covers. Sesshoumaru frowned slightly. He was still unsure what exactly a 'cold' was, but whatever it was, it was obviously disadvantageous to Rin. Rising away from the table he was sitting at, he advanced to the futon and looked the child over carefully. Her heart-beat was even faster now, her face was very flushed, her breathing shallow and quick and there was an alien yet distinctive scent about her, a scent he was sure he had smelled before. Running through all the scents his memory held, he quickly found what he was looking for. It was a scent he sometimes smelled around human settlements, and it was often accompanied by the scent of pain and sometimes even death.

"She has gotten worse, hasn't she?" Sae asked from the door, walking over to the futon. She expected to find Rin here, after discovering that the child was missing from her room. Crouching down, she inspected the little girl carefully. Yes, she had undoubtedly gotten worse, Sae decided, observing how muted and unfocused Rin's eyes were, how shallow and labored her breathing was and how much warmth her little body seemed to radiate. She regretted not knowing more about humans and their illnesses. Youkai hardly ever got ill, they could get poisoned, injured or in some other way harmed externally, but she had not heard of, and even less so seen, many youkai who were ill due to some internal cause. She sighed heavily, wishing that her mother had not left to the south for the winter. Her mother knew much more about humans, but was also a firefly youkai and detested winter enough to leave the lands every year and return only with spring. As it was, Sae was sure she had no idea what to do to aid Rin, and was just as certain that nobody else in the shiro knew any more than her.

"I will go to the nearest human village and find somebody who can help her," she announced having reached her decision and rising to her feet. It was not a question, Sae was determined to go through with her plan no matter what Sesshoumaru thought about it. If he objected much to allowing any other human into the house, she would take Rin with her. The child was obviously ill and was not getting better in the slightest, and Sae had no desire to see the cheerful creature she had grown fond of die just because Sesshoumaru despised humans.

Sesshoumaru regarded her thoughtfully. He was not pleased with the idea of having some foul human running around the place, but... He glanced at the small child lying on his futon. Rin was undoubtedly a human and he was well aware that at the current moment she required one of her kind to aid her. He nodded his head in approval of Sae's decision, even though he knew his cousin would do so regardless of what he thought about it. It was her right however, since this was as much her home as his and she was in no way his subordinate.

Sae left quickly, on the way running into Shippou, who – apparently not really trusting Sae's interpersonal skills with humans – decided to go with her. He knew that Rin was ill, and he was aware of what an illness was, but he was just as clueless as the others on how to help her. He had spent a lot of time around humans, and had seen a lot of human medicines Kagome always had around with her, but he had no idea where to get them or what kind of a medicine exactly would help Rin.

Sesshoumaru was left still standing near the futon. How weak the humans are, he thought, looking at the unwell child. It was a thought that occurred to him often, whenever she would get herself in trouble, but it was even more apparent to him now, when she had succumbed to something as trivial as 'cold'. However, as much as she seemed to be addled, there was no scent of death on her and since Sae was to find somebody who could help her, it was unlikely that the scent would have any chance to appear. Reassured, he moved to return to the table and his previous activity but a small hand grasped his hakama weakly.

"Sesshoumaru-sama...," her voice was so feeble and ill-suited to her, "stay with Rin... please."

He looked down to her in surprise, knowing that she only referred to herself in the third person when she was being particularly emotional, a habit she must've picked up from Jaken. She was looking up to him with muddled and yet pleading eyes, and he felt something akin to pity stir within him. Yes, he thought, crossing his legs and sitting down on the futon, she probably felt confused and scared, and he could understand that. If he had the misfortune of being so pathetically weak, he too would've felt considerably concerned about his well-being.

Without saying anything more, she raised herself heavily and dragging the covers with her, crawled onto his crossed legs, fitting whole into the enclosed space between them and placing her head on his knee. She was being clingy again, but he felt now was not the time to reprimand her about it, especially since she was probably unable to understand much anyway in her current state.

Her proximity brought with it an even stronger wave of that alien scent – a scent of illness, as he had remembered – and his mind unconsciously recalled her words from many months before. 'Itsuka Rin ga shindemo, Rin ga koto wasurenaide itte kureru.' What a stupid, sentimental and human thing to say, he scoffed to himself, of course he would remember her, his memory was excellent. But... at that time, when she said it, her words pierced right through him. He had not thought her to be aware of how painfully limited both her lifespan and her abilities were and it was an issue that had been playing on his mind heavily that day.

Although he had allowed her to stay with him, it had always been his plan to return her to her kind when a suitable occasion arose. She was a human, even if she seemed to be considerably less foul and mentally limited than most of her breed, and her place was with humans, living a human life. And on that day, when the monks rescued her and the other children from Ongokuki, the time to return her to where she belonged finally came. Yet, as he stood hidden behind the trees, watching the situation unfold and listening to her desperate cries, he found himself unwilling to force her to it, to condemn her to a life that was frightening her so.

Sesshoumaru frowned, looking down at the slightly shivering child in his lap and remembering the odd sensation of urgency he experienced every time she was in danger. Yes, since he allowed the child to stay with him, it was only natural that he should keep her alive in the meantime, yet... why did it seem so... unbecoming for her to be hurt in any way? Was it because she was so weak and her life could be so easily extinguished? Or was it because she always trusted him to rescue her, for reasons he could never fathom?

The child stirred a little against his legs, whimpering slightly and bringing his thoughts back to their previous course. What was he going to do about her? He told her to do as she liked, but... she could not stay with him, not permanently. The only future that would most likely await her if she did was to share the fate of that human woman, Sara, in entering a hellish bargain that would not only fail to extend her life, but would also devour her soul, making her an empty vessel for mismatched scum youkai. He had never been more aware of the unsurpassable rift between the youkai and the humans than at that time, when he killed the creature the woman had become, freeing whatever was left of her soul. He had also realized a certain truth then, namely that humans could not help being humans, just as the rain could not help being wet, and those of them who were conscious of their limitations enough to try to fight against them, would succeed only in making their fate even worse.

He did not want for such a thing to happen to Rin. Yes, she was a human and thus her life was very limited from the start, but it was to end naturally, under the weight of time and after the full run of a normal human life, and not in a futile struggle against her own nature, brought about by a simple want to stay forever with her youkai companions. Her words back then made him realize that a child as she still was, she was probably already aware of that rift between them, of how different their worlds were. But if she was, why did she refuse to return to her own world? Was she already starting to succumb to the same destructive wishes as that Sara woman?

Would he have to kill her too?

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Sae and Shippou were swiftly making their way back to the shiro, maneuvering Aun through the starry skies. They had successfully managed to find the nearest human village, and although the villagers seemed to be wary and cautious of them, to Shippou's surprise many of them were also eager to help, in pointing out where the nearest miko, knowledgeable in the ways of healing, could be found. Just as surprisingly, the miko quickly agreed to go with them, despite the slight protests of her apprentice, and now the middle aged woman was flying with them to the shiro, still making no comments about the odd situation she was currently in.

Miyoko held on tightly to the two-headed dragon, hoping her decision to come with the odd pair was a right one. Like most people living in the area, she was well aware that the land they were living in belonged to the youkai, even if now human lords claimed ownership over it. Ever since she was a child she would hear stories about Touga-sama, the youkai daimyou who once ruled the land and yet protected humans and had his pack live with them in peace. Miyoko often felt that it had been better that way. Even if the inu-youkai had remained non-aggressive towards the humans in the area, the current daimyou who took over this part of the land demanded very high tribute from all the villages in the area and from what she had heard, Touga-sama had been much more lenient in that respect, to the point where he only accepted offerings as an expression of gratitude for his protection rather than as a mandatory payment. Yet now, even though two other youkai daimyou's remained in the Western Lands, they showed no interest in the affairs of humans, as long as no upstart lord threatened them, which – quite understandably – had not happened so far, and thus the human inhabitants had been left to care for themselves.

But she had also heard stories about Touga-sama's son, Sesshoumaru, who not only showed no inclinations towards following in his father's footsteps but actually despised humans. Like most children in the area, she had been told that if she ever came across a youkai with a half-moon on his forehead, she should turn back at once and not bother him in any way, since otherwise she'd be likely to end up dead. And yet, from what Sae-sama – of whom Miyoko had heard much more positive things – and the kitsune said, she gathered Sesshoumaru-sama had actually returned to the shiro, and, as unbelievable as it was, required the assistance of a human to help an ill human child. She could only hope that the story was true, that she'd be able to help sufficiently and to return home safely.

Soon they reached the shiro and Sae-sama and the kitsune boy led her through the corridors to a room of high-standing, and when she entered she could only stare in disbelief at the sight before her. In the dim light of the candle she could see the form of a white-haired youkai, whom she could easily identify as Sesshoumaru-sama, thanks to his markings, and yet the allegedly cold-hearted and human hating taiyoukai had a small human child curled up in his lap. The girl looked obviously unwell and ill, but at the same time so comfortable and trusting as she should be only in her mother's arms. Who was that child...? And why would he care for her so...?

Deciding that asking any questions would be most inappropriate, Miyoko collected herself and followed Sae-sama closer to the futon. Noticing them, Sesshoumaru swiftly slipped his hand under Rin and moved her onto the bedding, rising to his full height and looking at the woman half warily and half expectantly. He should've known it would be a miko, he thought, feeling very aware of how out of place she was here, but at least it meant she'd more likely to know what she was doing.

Miyoko knelt down on the bedding and inspected the child carefully, hoping even more than before that she'd be able to help. To her relief, she quickly found it was nothing serious. The girl just caught a cold and like most young children broke into high fever, but there was no sign of any rash on her and her lungs seemed clear, even if her breathing was labored. If appropriately taken care of, she would be back to full health in no time. But that was the problem, wasn't it, she thought, eyeing her hosts discretely. They were all youkai and had little knowledge about how to take care of a human child, even less so an ill human child. Just like they were oblivious to the fact that it was far too cold in the room for the girl's well-being.

"I will take care of her and she should be fine in a few days," she begun, "but she needs to be moved to a heated room." If there even was a room like that here, she wondered, noticing that they seemed perfectly fine in their light clothing.

Sae glanced to Sesshoumaru questioningly. The only room in the shiro that could be heated, other than the kitchen which was hardly ever used anyway, was Izayoi-sama's room, and she wondered how he would react to putting Rin in his "his father's woman's", as he usually referred to Izayoi-sama, former quarters. Wouldn't he object to the association thus suggested...?

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes disdainfully, but without saying a word leaned over and gathering the child up along with the covers, moved towards the door, feeling Rin's small fingers grasp firmly onto his clothes the moment her burning forehead touched his shoulder. He walked across the corridor and into the room just opposite from his own, while chewing over this new development. He was all too aware whose room it had been and why was it heated, and no, he did not enjoy the idea of moving Rin in there in the slightest. Keeping her around was one thing, and he cared little for what anyone thought about it, but keeping her in a manner suggesting that he was following in his father's footsteps was something entirely different. But after all, he was not his father and the situation was nothing like Chichi-ue's shameful liaison with that meek and weepy woman, so why should he care what anyone made of it...?

Placing Rin down on the somewhat dusty futon he felt that there was another reason why he disliked the situation. Rin was not like that woman; she was not like any other human he had ever met, which was perhaps why he could endure her company. But wasn't it simply because she hardly had the chance to live with humans...? Wasn't it just another reason why he should return her to her kind as quickly as possible...? His brow furrowed as his thoughts scattered around in his head confusingly. Was it good or bad that she was so different from other humans...? And that he could tolerate her while he detested the rest of her breed...? And should he send her away, somehow, as quickly as possible or wait to see if she would leave him on her own volition...?

His frown deepened as the confusion in his mind intensified, and he spun around to walk out of the room, leaving the matter of Rin's illness to the two women. This was getting him nowhere.

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Finding a suitably dry tree, Sae made a quick work of chopping it down with a swift strike of her claws. She was gathering wood to heat up Rin's new quarters, and although she was not too strong, her strength was enough to deal with a dead tree. While chopping the wood up into manageable pieces, she allowed her thoughts to wander back to the times the heating system in the room had been built. It had been the first – and only – autumn of Izayoi-sama's stay in the shiro, and when the first chills of the upcoming winter hit the land, it became apparent that Izayoi-sama would most likely freeze to death during the cold season, no matter how "warm" Touga-sama kept her. Sae smirked to herself. Yes, he definitely had kept her warm, and her growing stomach had been a living proof of it. But that had been another reason why she needed a warm room, and having researched the matter with his usual interest in human customs, and after spending long hours discussing it in earnest with Myouga while Izayoi-sama would politely hide her smile behind her long sleeves, Touga-sama decided that the best way to heat a room was not the traditional Japanese kotatsu but rather a combination of the Korean ondol and Chinese kang systems. And thus, the room's floor had been replaced with stone and an enclosed hearth had been built underneath it, with a latch in the floor enabling to fuel the fire from inside yet close off the fumes, should one so desire. The system was surprisingly efficient and Izayoi-sama enjoyed the warmth greatly as she undoubtedly would've for long years to come, had Touga-sama not died.

She felt a wave of sadness wash over her, as always when her mind recalled the joyful months of Izayoi-sama's stay in the shiro. She had made her peace with both Touga-sama and Izayoi-sama's deaths, but the fact that their happiness had been cut short so abruptly always filled her with sorrow. Izayoi-sama had not been Touga-sama's first love, not by far, but unlike with his first two mates, and numerous less serious "afflictions", of which Myouga kept a much more detailed record, it looked like with Izayoi-sama he had finally found true happiness. Despite their plentiful differences they seemed perfectly well suited for each other and the affection that shone in Izayoi-sama's eyes whenever Touga-sama was nearby always left Sae feeling warm inside. Her humanity was the only thing that marred their happiness for when Izayoi-sama found she was with child, her initial joy soon gave way to worry – their child, a son as Touga-sama determined by her scent only three months later, would be a hanyou, rejected and often even persecuted by both humans and youkai and she couldn't help but be apprehensive about his future. It was then that Touga-sama had Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga made, both to protect her and the boy, and for his strength to extend to both his sons even beyond his death, should anything ever happen to him. Sae laughed to herself softly, remembering Izayoi-sama's strangled cry of surprise when Touga-sama returned from commissioning the swords to Toutousai and she saw that he was missing most of his left fang and thus his smile was missing a lot of its charm. The tooth grew back within few hours, although – quite oddly – only in Touga-sama's human form, it never grew back in his true from, perhaps because the swords retained so much of his youki. And even though Izayoi-sama had been predominantly worried about more subtle aspects of their son's well-being, she was touched by his thoughtfulness and grateful for his care.

Walking back to the shiro with an armful of wood pieces, Sae thought about what had always worried her the most about Izayoi-sama's humanity, and it was the chilling limitations it imposed on her lifespan. Touga-sama wasn't too worried about it, he had been researching various ways to extend Izayoi-sama's life, preferably without any undesirable side-effects, and had been confident that he would manage to find some proper means. In the end, it turned out he was right in not allowing it to darken his mood – after all, she had outlived him, although undoubtedly from her perspective it was a feeble consolation. Sae sighted heavily, strengthening her hold on the wood. As much as humans always feared being harmed by youkai, in reality they were just as dangerous to youkai, only in a different way.

Entering Rin's room she dropped the wood onto a holder in the corner and adding a few pieces to the fire Shippou had already started in the hearth, turned to leave and stock up on more. She glanced in passing at the miko who was busy preparing some medicine for Rin, and at the child in question who was cuddled up on the futon, and her mind recalled the image of another little human girl she had once known, centuries ago. She had been a little girl herself at the time, when her mother took her to Urabe, the human town near the coastline that Touga-sama had always been very fond of. One of the previous lords accepted Touga-sama's sovereignty when the taiyoukai consolidated the Western Lands and his ancestors kept blessing him for it for centuries, when they discovered that in return they could live in peace that other parts of the country could only dream of. The once small settlement soon grew in size and prosperity and although she couldn't remember why she and her mother went there, she could clearly remember the bustling atmosphere of a seaside town. From her childish perspective she had quickly spotted a group of children playing in a square, in some game that involved throwing pebbles and lots of laughter, and her mother had somewhat reluctantly allowed her to join them. Back then, Touga-sama and the white inu-youkai pack had been known even to the smallest child of the town and she had no problems joining the group for a very enjoyable afternoon. She quickly made friends with one girl in particular, around her own age, as it seemed, and when they were done playing, Sakurako – a beautiful name Sae had felt very envious of – showed her around the town, even informing her of all the latest gossip.

It hadn't been that long after that – she had grown hardly by a foot – when they went to Urabe again, this time also with Touga-sama, to attend the funeral rites of the town's current governing lord, who had just passed away. Sesshoumaru had deftly refused to take part in such "human folly", but she had been very much looking forward to going to Urabe again. After the rites she asked her mother if she could go visit Sakurako and her mother agreed, although giving her the strangest of looks. Sae paused in collecting the chopped up wood, and brushing away a strand of hair that the cold winter wind had blown in her face, looked up to the night sky, watching it sparkle brightly with stars, as it always did this time of year. Her mother must have known what she would find upon going to Sakurako's house – that instead of the cheerful little girl she'd find completely unknown to her children who would inform her that Sakurako – Grandma – was already dead.

That was the way of the human life, wasn't it, Sae thought, absentmindedly picking at the bark of the wood with one of her claws. It could shine as brightly as the stars, but would always disappear just as quickly as the stars did when the dawn came. She did not care that much for Sakurako, after all, she had known her for only one afternoon, and yet, even though the pain she felt after Touga-sama's death, for example, had long since subsided leaving only cherished memories, the thought of that little girl's death had always been laced with bitterness in her mind and ever since then she had not been able to interact with any humans without thinking about it. Her mother was right when on their way back from Urabe she said that that was one of the main reasons why youkai should never allow themselves to care too much for a human, because it was like trying to hold water in your palms – no matter how tightly you pressed them together, it would always seep through your fingers and leave you empty handed.

She sighed heavily again, and hoisted herself up with another armload of wood to return to the room of another little girl that had recently appeared in her life, a little girl she was growing all too fond of. She could only hope that somehow the fate would turn out kinder this time around, both for herself and the little girl, but also for the man she had once perceived as her little brother.

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When Shippou's hand slapped her lightly across the face as he tossed around in his sleep, Rin decided that it was time to give up on trying to fall asleep and find something else to do. She had probably slept too much within those three days that passed since she had fallen ill, she decided, getting up and pulling on her tabi and zori. Sae-sama had gotten those for her, along with a warm hakama and haori and Rin was trying her best to get used to wearing such clothes, but the zori especially where proving most tricky, she kept feeling as if something got wedged in between her toes. But it was nice to feel so warm, even though she had been used to being cold and thought it was odd that she fell ill now that she was living in an actual house. When she had lived in the village, she would stay in a small abandoned hut for most of the two years that passed between her family's death and meeting Sesshoumaru-sama, but during winter it would get too cold in there and she would either ask one or another family if she could stay with them for the night or would sneak into the barn and bury herself in hay. It was still very cold, but it was bearable and not as troubling as finding food during winter. Winter was the only season when she couldn't find anything edible in the forest and had to depend on the kindness of the villagers. But they weren't that bad really, they would always give her something, sometimes even a bowl of rice. Rice had been the only cooked food that she had been missing and when Sae-sama asked her yesterday if she felt like eating anything in particular – because she said she didn't want anything and Miyoko-sama insisted that she should eat – she said it was rice, but Sae-sama laughed and said that she had no idea how to cook rice, but would learn just for her. And then she leaned over and whispered in her ear that she shouldn't mention anything about it to Sesshoumaru-sama because he hated rice with a passion, after Touga-sama made him eat some, long ago, and Rin couldn't help but giggle at the thought.

Being dressed properly, she got up decidedly and moved through the room, careful not to step on Jaken-sama who sleeping in the foot of the bed or on Myouga-sama who was snoring away near the hearth, on his tiny futon and under his tiny kakebuton. Rin smiled to herself, happy with such numerous company. It was yet another benefit of that new room she found herself in when she came to on the next day after she had fallen ill. She couldn't remember being moved in here though, she remembered going to Sesshoumaru-sama's room, feeling lonely and scared, and how quickly those feelings went away when she could feel Sesshoumaru-sama underneath her. But when he picked her up her head spun so dazedly that that she felt like she was falling into some dark pit and woke up only on the next day, surprised to see a completely new room around her. It was even larger than her previous room, it was as large as Sesshoumaru-sama's room, but it also had a hearth under the inner bedroom. Sae-sama told her that the room used to belong to somebody called Izayoi-sama, and Rin felt she had heard the name somewhere before, but couldn't place it at all. When she came to, Sae-sama had been moving that lady's called Izayoi-sama things out of the room and bringing in the few things Rin had for her own. But Sae-sama left her one of Izayoi-sama's things, a small pretty chest for storing the things you wanted to keep safe and when Rin felt better that evening, she filled it with her treasured belongings – the mirror that Sesshoumaru-sama gave her, the braid made of his hair, the piece of paper on which he wrote his name and she had signed too, a red leaf that was just beautiful and a pretty yellowish stone with rough surface that she had found once in the garden. Sae-sama told her it was called "kohaku" and that she should treasure it because it was very unusual that it would end up in this part of the land, but Rin kept it also because it was named like the friend she had made long ago, and she wondered whether Kohaku knew he was named after such a pretty stone.

Sae-sama also brought in a hibachi, just for extra warmth, and entertained her by telling her how long it took to find it in the house. She searched every last place and couldn't find either of the two hibachi's that she knew were around. It was Ryouken-sama - one of the inu-youkai who also lived here and whom Rin liked a lot, not only because of the strange black patch in his white hair but also because he was very cheerful and would sometimes play with her, while the others were all nice but also somehow distant – who had found the hibachi's in the end. It turned out that Myouga-sama and Jaken-sama, both of whom detested the cold, had hogged them into a room they picked for spending the winter in, along with many kakebuton's. They were reluctant to give up on the precious heating at first but when they heard that Rin had been moved to Izayoi-sama's room they sneaked in there promptly and made themselves comfortable in the warmth, and Shippou-chan soon followed, mostly because he didn't want to be left out. Rin smiled to herself again, she was really enjoying the company, it was so much nicer to be all together than be alone in a large dark room. And this room was so much closer to Sesshoumaru-sama's room too, it was just on the opposite side of the corridor and she had been overjoyed when she discovered it first.

Reaching the door, she paused and bit her lip worriedly. She hadn't seen Sesshoumaru-sama since she had fallen ill. He didn't come to see her and when she peaked into his room yesterday, he wasn't there and she had no idea where he could be. Was he angry with her for falling ill...? But it wasn't her fault, it just happened, and besides, she was all better now! Sliding the door open she saw light in his room and felt both happy to know he was there and worried whether he was still angry with her, if he had been angry at all that is. She didn't like the idea at all, she decided, moving cautiously to open the door to his room and peak a bit inside. Sesshoumaru-sama was sitting at the low table and reading a book, just like he had been when she had seen him last. He didn't look at her at all, and she felt her worry double at once. Stepping inside, she moved cautiously towards the table, hoping that he would look at her and maybe even ask her if she was better. But he didn't move at all, even when she reached his side, he just kept reading. When sitting, he was the same height as her and she always found it odd to see him in that way. She looked at him carefully, and as her eyes slid past the stripes that she knew now were an integral part of his skin and towards his eyes that were the color of amber, as she had learnt, she tried to look past their polished surface and see if he was angry with her or not.

"What is it?" he asked without any warning, and still without looking at her, but she just shook her head, not knowing what to say. But she knew what she wanted to do, and did it promptly, even though it was probably a bad idea. Leaning closer and wrapping her arms around him she whispered a quiet "arigatou" into his ear. She knew Sesshoumaru-sama didn't like to be touched, but he never got angry about it and if he was already angry, she couldn't make it any worse either. And she wanted to thank him for staying with her back then. She doubted it meant much to him, but to her it had been very important and she had been very grateful.

Pulling back she saw he was looking at her now and her fears quickly dispersed because his eyes were not angry at all. But there was something strange in them too, something she couldn't recognize, and it wasn't just the light of the candle that was making the amber in his eyes flicker. It seemed as if Sesshoumaru-sama looked... unsure? She focused, trying to grasp onto that look, but it disappeared quickly when he blinked and turned his eyes away from hers, without saying anything at all. She kept looking at him for a few more moments, but it was clear to her Sesshoumaru-sama was not in the mood for her company, so she left, quietly sliding the doors shut behind her.

She felt glad that Sesshoumaru-sama was not angry with her, but... why did he look at her like that? Did she do something she wasn't supposed to...? She frowned in effort, trying to figure out what it could be, but nothing seemed to fit. Deciding to ask Sae-sama, as always when in doubt about Sesshoumaru-sama, she head out to search for her and although it took her quite a while, she finally found her in the kitchen. Sae-sama was standing there with a confused look on her face and with piece of paper in one hand and some grains in the other. She kept looking from one to the other, as if uncertain what exactly she was holding, but Rin had no problems recognizing the grains. It was rice! Sae-sama was true to her word and was learning how to cook rice! A smile spread on her face as she moved to help the youkai female with such a human task, and since Sae-sama accepted her help gladly they ended up having very nice time experimenting, even though the first pot turned out so thick that it was more of a rice paste than rice.

She had forgotten about Sesshoumaru-sama's strange look in the process, so when she was finally tired enough to go to sleep and had made herself comfortable for the night – having pushed Shippou-chan who had been sprawled on the very center of the large futon aside – she felt that everything was as it should be and nothing marred her contentment.

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When Rin went away, Sesshoumaru was left in the room only with the book to keep him company, but it was of little help in taking his mind away from Rin. Ever since she had fallen ill, his thoughts kept returning to the matter of the little girl, most specifically of what he should do with her, and somehow, every time he thought about it the image of her small form curled in his lap and the sensation of her tiny fingers grasping onto his clothes would return to him, as if bound to the issue by some imperceptible thread of importance. He frowned, displeased with his mind for being so uncooperative. He loathed not knowing why something was important, like for example every time Tenseiga would try to tell him something and he not only had no idea what was it, but was still as clueless as ever as to why Chichi-ue wanted him in particular to have the sword. But having his mind poke him constantly with some seemingly irrelevant factor in the matter was annoying beyond anything else and it was only adding to his frustration.

He tried to refocus his attention on the book, but it wasn't helping any. It was a book written by a human, for humans and about humans and since the only human he could say he knew in any way was Rin, his mind would associate her with what he was reading at least once a page. He probably shouldn't have started reading the damned thing in the first place, but it had somehow captured is attention when he was looking through Chichi-ue's "treasures" and opened the book on a statement he could relate to. "One is in a hurry to leave, but one's visitor keeps chattering away. If it is someone of no importance, one can get rid of him by saying, "You must tell me all about it next time"; but, should it be the sort of visitor whose presence commands one's best behavior, the situation is hateful indeed." Yes, he could definitely relate to that, although his means of getting rid of people were usually somewhat different. Intrigued by being able to agree with a human, he kept on reading and soon found the book to be one of the most bizarre things he had ever read and the woman who had written it to be full of inherent contradictions and he still couldn't decide what he thought of her. Even the title – Makura no soushi – was incomprehensible to him. What on earth was a "pillow notebook" supposed to mean? And, more importantly, were all humans so bizarre and unpredictable? He almost shuddered, imagining the future which was to be composed of only such creatures. It could've been an end of the world just as well.

He just could not understand humans, even though he had to admit he had never made any effort to do so and still didn't feel tempted to. Just one small human girl could fill him with frustration for three full days and that was already more than he was willing to handle. He sighed inwardly, sniffing at the air around him lightly. It was no wonder that his thoughts kept returning to her though, everything in here smelled of her, in fact, even he smelled of her all over. Closing the book shut and getting up, Sesshoumaru decided that ridding himself of the smell was the best way to clear his head, and leaving the room and the shiro altogether headed towards the onsen.

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Leaning back and allowing the spring's water to rinse all alien smells from his hair, he looked up straight into the star-lit sky and felt better indeed. Stars always had a pacifying effect on him, their sparkling omnipresence and eternal beauty had always been able to wash away all doubts from his mind, whenever he had the misfortune to have any. People could die, mountains could crumble and rivers could dry out, but the stars were always there, extending quietly and subtly into infinity. And as he was lying in the water, covered in their glow, the issue that had been troubling him seemed so simple that he could almost laugh at himself. What did it matter what happened to Rin? If she wanted to throw her life away, it was her right and none of his business. Yes, since in a sense she was his responsibility, he should try to return her to her kind again, should a suitable occasion arise, but he should never have allowed it to bother him that much.

Reassured, he set himself straight and reached back to wring out his hair, feeling a slight pang of annoyance as always when he had to do it. It was possibly the only time when he would regret not having both of his arms. He had told Takemaru the truth, he did not need his arm back, not only because one was enough for him to do whatever he wanted, but also because it would eventually grow back on its own anyway, but wringing out his hair seemed to be more demanding than any other activity. Fortunately, unlike that oaf Takemaru, he was a youkai and thus the loss of a limb was in no way permanent for him. Unfortunately, his arm had been left in the border of the afterlife and since it retained its youki with it, growing a new one would take at least a few decades, as it seemed. But Sou'unga had been gracious enough to take his arm along to Hell and ever since then the growth sped up significantly. There was only one downside to it, it kept itching mercilessly and he was all too aware that it would get even worse once it reached the elbow joint. He frowned in the general direction of the limb, as if it was its fault that it was missing and not Inuyasha's. Or maybe it was rather his own fault for never suspecting that Inuyasha would indeed be able to transform Tetsusaiga. He should've seen it coming, after all, Chichi-ue left the sword to Inuyasha specifically, and Chichi-ue was usually prepared for all occasions, except perhaps for the misfortunate set of circumstances that had led to his death.

But itchy as it was, he thought as he stepped out of the onsen and pulled his clothes back on, leaving the matter to time was the only thing he could do. And the same was true with Rin, he concluded, heading back towards the shiro.

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Language notes:

Itsuka Rin ga shindemo, Rin ga koto wasurenaide itte kureru – "If Rin should ever die, please don't forget about Rin." It's what she says to him in Episode 162;

tabi – Japanese socks, the ones with a division between the big toe and the other toes;

zori – Japanese sandals, Kikyou is the perfect example of somebody wearing a classic tabi and zori set (and hakama and haori too, for that matter);

haori – the shirt to match the hakama ;)

General notes:

Shuukatsu – his name just means "eagle eagle" or something like that;

Ryouken – "hunting dog";

Sakurako – the child of Sakura, the child of cherry blossoms; a standard Japanese name;

Urabe – "seacoast"

Kisho and Miyoko are just standard Japanese names and sadly, I don't remember why I picked those, nor do I remember what I coined "Hourou" from, although I'm sure it did mean something...

Takemaru – the baddie from Movie 3 who had a crush on Izayoi and got possessed by Sou'unga.

Touga's fang – in Movie 3 it is shown that he had both his fangs alright, both in human and the true form, but in the anime it is shown that his skeleton is missing half of the left fang. Maybe there's some actual story behind it...

Rin's language – although it is often assumed that Rin always refers to herself in the third person, and I think it's dubbed like that in the English version, she actually uses a normal pronoun and I think it's either "atashi" (a female way of saying "I") or "watashi" (the mostly neutral way), but I still can't make it out clearly and haven't checked in the manga yet. She does use "Rin" occasionally and very often it's when she is being emotional. Jaken does the same, in Episode 35 you can clearly hear him announce "Jaken is so sad" ;)

On a more interesting note, although one would expect Rin to address Sesshoumaru using at least the standard polite mode, especially since she seems to "sama" everyone, actually she very often talks to him in the plain mode and the same when she is talking to Jaken (who, btw., stacks one politeness form on top of another when he talks to Sesshoumaru). Another odd observation – although Sesshoumaru addresses everybody as "kisama" (an extremely rude word for "you"), he refers to Rin using "omae" (not the most polite way, but a great improvement from "kisama"), which seems to be a form reserved for those he knows well, since he uses it only towards Jaken, Rin and occasionally – and surprisingly – Inuyasha. I don't know, maybe I'm missing something there, but it seems odd to me o.0

Sesshoumaru's missing arm – I don't think it would grow back, but it will save me a lot of problems, so what the hell!