Disclaimer: I do not hold any rights to Inuyasha in any form or way, nor do I make any profit out of writing this fic.

Reviews: As always, red-hot thanks and tons of gratitude towards everyone who decided to review! Most notably to Sexysaxist, who (as I have noted in Jiyuu na kaze, but it got deleted now) has showered me with very detailed, and greatly appreciated, reviews recently!

Now, first thing's first – many people have replied to my edit note to Chapter 10 and I feel that I have inadvertently offended some readers, so I strive to clarify. It's not that I think that people who read this story skip everything and only keep waiting for Rin/Sess romance – after all, not only many of the wonderful people who had reviewed had mentioned that they like the slow pace and the amount of detail I insert into the story, but also people seem to continue reading even though it's been over 80 000 words already and still no Sess/Rin! So I do know that there are people who enjoy the story as it is, and I think those people were my exact target audience when I started writing it. Meaning people who enjoy the slow presentation, the focus on characters and emotions rather than action and lemons, and the background stories to OC's.

So let me explain how did my crisis come about. It all started when I began writing Jiyuu na Kaze as a separate piece and felt that, as Snowlock has put it, it needed something to immediately captivate the readers' attention and keep it. And thus I kept wondering how to make people read a story they don't want to read and in the end changed the whole story beyond recognition, because it was not supposed to go like it did at all at first (most notably, at first Kagura and Shuukatsu were to have slept with each other within a week, without any romantic attachment whatsoever, naturally, but I admit that it's hardly 'captivating' when there's no build up to sex). And since, as once again Snowlock put it, most readers are interested in action, humour or fluff, I kept deleting everything that was not so and kept trying to speed up as much as I only could, which led to the story being pretty much butchered. Because that's not the point of my writing at all, and if I wanted to target the audience who is looking for mainly action, humour and fluff, I would do the traditional and just skip the ten or so years of Rin's life, and then dressed it all in some adventure and then maybe even reached for clichés and added as many 'osuwari's' as I could fit into it (or maybe even would move the action to high school. Or made it Sess/Kagome which seems to be more popular, despite the complete lack of plausibility, minus a FEW stories).

But as I think many readers noticed (and some have explicitly mentioned they like it) this story covers the parts that are most often than not cut out from other stories, and it is not only Rin's growing up, but it will be so later on too (so no techniques of skipping the years between Rin/Sess 'get-together' and then jumping to them having children, although yes, eventually they will have some offspring and if I don't get thoroughly pumped out by then, the said offspring will give them (read Sesshoumaru) many headaches). Some years will have to be skipped on the way, of course, simply because otherwise I'd end up with a 40 volume library of my rumblings, but in moderation and without making the readers just 'believe' that the characters have changed during those cut-out years.

So in short (as if), the struggle and self-awareness that got to me when I kept trying to make Jiyuu na Kaze appealing to readers, grew like cancer and spread out to here too, making me squirm uncomfortably whenever I tried to write something. Unfortunately, the problem of the side story remained, and I don't want to give up on writing it because it is to be about issues that are important to me personally and which I cannot insert into this story and between Sess/Rin, not without some MAJOR OCC-ness. So instead I decided to follow the advice of so many reviewers and just write as I see fit, meaning that you can expect some introductions to the side story in this one, although I think I will at some point split it in two again, because of the dual-perspectives options and to offer a continuity of reading for both stories. Not to mention more Shippou POV!

Lastly, although I have written some already, the remains of the self-awareness continue in my writing, and I think it shows in this, short, chapter. Moreover (and this I think might be the true reason for my recent disgruntlement) my neighbors have been drilling and hammering constantly for the last two weeks. So it's very likely that I will never finish this story because I will be in prison for murder...

Review replies: Since I've taken up so much space above already, this time the personal replies to reviews are at the end of the chapter.

Note: This chapter is short, for two reasons. One, I recently re-read the whole thing and found even my own attention span waning with the longest chapters (mostly Chapter 9), and two, this in a way marks an end of an era in their lives, even though they don't know it yet. I was planning to add it to what will be the next chapter, but it would end up too long and not so prominent then. So the Adult Rin/Sess has gotten moved away, alas. I would like to make a point on Sesshoumaru here – note that in the last two chapters (or so) he didn't really have any struggles, simply because once he had admitted to himself that he does, in a way, care for Rin, enough to want to see her safe and happy, the years that followed would naturally be peaceful for him, at least in regard to her. Here he has minor struggles, which will sometimes return, but of course, the most gigantic struggle for him will be once he realizes that he had grown some feelings for her ;)

Lastly, as mystal has noted, Rin isn't aware of how much attention she pays to Sesshoumaru, and this is because I agree with Sexysaxist on this one – people who are adult when we are children are in a way 'untouchable' when we grow up, so even though she is already developing feelings for him (as emphasized a few times in this chapter), she's simply not aware of it yet, because in her mind he's not 'a boy'. It's not that I disagree with fics that have Rin fall for Sesshoumaru the moment she hits puberty, not at all, actually, I think that within a story that has only Rin, Sesshoumaru and Jaken wandering around forests, that would've been a natural development since her only other choices would be Jaken or Aun, ehm... But in this fic she has a wide range of candidates before her and also a clear-cut boundary between the world of adults and her own (notice though that it is beginning to slowly diminish, hence Ryouken is no longer a 'sama' for her). So yes, she will have to deal with that, but I won't torture her too much, I think.

And also, a plea to the reviewers – if anyone out there has the time to be more critical and tell me whether the scenes felt 'real' for them, and whether it was possible to feel with the characters, I would be very grateful! It is important to me, because once time begins to slow down (which is pretty much very soon), there will naturally have to be more conversations between Rin and Sesshoumaru, and also generally between characters. And since I don't feel good at that at all, I'd rather hear some pointers and criticism before I get to the parts that I would like to make as enjoyable as possible for the readers.

Language notes:

sukebe bouzu – 'perverted monk'; 'bouzu' is a rather offensive term for monk, hence Miroku in some episode corrects people that he is a 'houshi', not a 'bouzu';

baka – 'stupid'

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Extra note: Since, as mystal has pointed out, it's hard to imagine Rin as an adult, I have added a picture in my profile to show how I see her. It's taken from a doujinshi (and I hope I haven't infringed any important rights by cutting that image out of the original page), and is a very nice image of Rin. I see her look like that at the age of 16-18, although with a bit more playfulness in her eyes (and it will grow some more in time too). Sesshoumaru is not very realistic on it though, so pay him no mind ;) Moreover, this pic inspired the 'monks scene' in this chapter, although with a twist.

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Chapter 11

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The winter was particularly pretty this year, Rin decided while enjoying a walk around the snow covered forest with Sesshoumaru-sama. The trees were covered with a soft layer of pristine snow, and she felt that it made them seem so amazingly delicate and ethereal. Usually the snow wouldn't linger on like that, instead melting quickly into a grey watery pulp that was neither pretty nor pleasurable, and would quickly disappear anyway. But this year it had remained so shining and white on the trees for quite a few days now and she was very much enjoying the amazingly spotless scenery.

Still, she felt, absentmindedly reaching out to shake a low branch and make the snow on it shimmer down to the ground, even though winter could be pretty, her favorite season was still spring, when everything was so green and alive and yet it wasn't too hot and rainy, like during summer. Glancing towards Sesshoumaru-sama, who was unhurriedly walking ahead nearby, leaving soft imprints of his feet on the snow, she wondered which season he liked the most. It could very well be winter, she thought, tilting her head to the side and observing him pensively, since Sesshoumaru-sama somehow looked like winter, being so white and graceful and fitting so well into the snow coated scenery.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she set out to find out, walking over to him through the snow in her fully covered shoes that she had gotten from Kagerou-sama, "which season Sesshoumaru-sama likes the most?" she asked, gazing up to him, and noting how easier doing so had gotten now that she was tall enough to reach above the edge of his armor.

Her voice rippled through the slow peacefulness of his thoughts and Sesshoumaru glanced down to her. Which season he liked the most...? He had no ready answer, he found, since he had never really thought about it before. Yet now, as he was walking around a quiet forest that was so blissfully void of any of the heavy smells that the summer was abundant with, observing the unsoiled trees, the answer seemed quite clear to him.

"Winter," he replied and she smiled instantly, undoubtedly for reasons he wouldn't be able to understand no matter how much he tried.

"I knew it would be winter," she said and he raised a dubious eyebrow at her. He hadn't known that before now, so how would she have known? But he decided against asking, lest he gave himself a headache thinking about her answer.

"I like spring the most," she added, still smiling. Somehow, it was the answer he hadn't asked for, since he found that spring suited her in some way. So perhaps winter suited him in her eyes in the same manner. Which would not be all that surprising, he thought dryly, glancing towards his white clothes.

Rin kept smiling to herself as she walked on next to Sesshoumaru-sama, feeling pleased that she had been right about which season he liked the most. It really did suit Sesshoumaru-sama well, she thought, glancing to his face again and noting how delicate and soft it seemed, somehow just like the snow covered trees.

Turning her eyes to look ahead again, since she didn't want to trip and fall into the snow – which was hardly pleasurable, as she had learnt long ago - she wondered which seasons the others liked the most. Shippou-chan liked the autumn the most, he had said so once, although that was because of all the nuts, acorns and chestnuts that were abundant during the season. She somehow felt that also Sae-sama liked the autumn the most, since she would often take long walks then. And Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama probably liked the summer the most, she decided, since they left for the south during winter. It remained a mystery to her though which season Jaken could possibly like the most, since he complained equally about all of them. She could partially understand why in relation to winter, she thought, shaking off more snow from another low branch. True, winter could be incredibly pretty when it was like that, but usually it was cold and dark, forcing her to stay indoors so much.

But, she added, glancing to Sesshoumaru-sama again and abandoning the branches to catch up to him, this winter she was having a very nice time indoors actually. She was finally able to read books on her own, without having to ask Sae-sama for help when she would stumble over a less frequent or old kanji, so now she would often spend a nice evening in Sesshoumaru-sama's room, reading under the warmth of his kakebuton. And just as it was with sleeping on his futon, it was the nicest when he too would be in the room, especially when he would be reading too, and they would spend their time reading like that, in the peace and quiet of his room, while the wind and snow would beat against the walls.

Still, she added, thinking again of her favorite season, it would be nice if spring could hurry up and get here, and make everything so lush and lively.

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But when the spring did come and then turned into summer, so quickly that she had almost missed her sixteenth birthday, it had been made much less nice than usual due to an incident that made her feel... annoyed at humans in general.

It happened when she was sitting in a flower field in the vicinity of the shiro, picking out the best ones to be weaved together and thinking that no matter how much older she had gotten, she still loved flowers just as much. True, they had no value or merit to them, but... they were simply pretty and pleasing.

Something rustled at the edge of the field and she looked up, roused from her thoughts. It was a group of monks, she found with a slight feeling of unease, watching them approach her. She remained where she was, curious as to what they could want. Were they lost, perhaps...?

The monk who seemed to be the leader of the group and the highest in rank stepped forward towards her when they reached her.

"Girl," he said, somehow firmly, "are you the one that is being kept by a youkai?" She frowned lightly, not really sure what he could possibly mean.

"We have heard your story and came to free you from his clutches," the man added and she frowned even more. What clutches...?

"Come," he said, walking over to her and grasping her arm firmly, "we will take you to your kind."

He... they... her thoughts swirled in her head when she finally remembered the same scene from years before and realized what he meant. They wanted to take her away! To make her leave Sesshoumaru-sama!

"I don't want to go anywhere," she objected at once, trying to wriggle her arm out of his grasp. But he held on firmly and only said to the others that she was obviously under the 'monster's' spell. They wouldn't listen, she realized in a sudden surge of panic, they didn't care what she wanted, they would just take her away!

She would not let them, she felt in alarmed determination, she would not leave Sesshoumaru-sama!

So while the monk was still half turned to the others, she got up quickly and did the first thing that came to her mind that could make him let go – kicked his shin as hard as she only could.

It worked, she found in relief when his hold on her lessened, and she jerked away at once, running back and towards the shiro as fast as she only could, not caring that she was trampling the flowers. And when the monks took off after her and she sped up even more, her heart pounding, only one thought kept ringing in her mind - to reach Sesshoumaru-sama, she had to reach Sesshoumaru-sama!

Sesshoumaru, with a slight frown of displeasure, was walking in the direction of a distinctive smell of monks, wanting to find out what could've prompted monks to come so near the shiro. True, there were some monks in general in the lands, and sometimes even taijia, but they never bothered him or any other inu-youkai, preferring to avoid trouble, he assumed, so he was reasonably curious. But when the wind also told him that Rin was running fast towards him and away from the monks, the picture became much clearer in his mind and he picked up his pace slightly.

She reached him soon enough though, emerging from the bushy undergrowth, disheveled and panting.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she called at once and sprinted towards him to latch herself onto him, nearly stabbing her face with a spike of his armor in the process. He could clearly see that she was scared, her eyes were wide open, her heart was racing and she held onto him with surprising strength.

He was about to tell her to let go, he had some monks to deal with, but the monks in question, who seemed to be from outside of his lands, he noted, reached them before he had a chance to say anything.

"Youkai," their leader hollered upon spotting them stand thus, in what was undoubtedly supposed to be an imposing voice, Sesshoumaru thought sarcastically, "have you seduced the girl!"

Sesshoumaru blinked, stupefied and ousted out of any sarcasm. What...? Had he done what...? Seduced...? The monk, he felt, no longer just irritated but suddenly angered, clearly desired to be killed. And, he added, his lips curling, he would gladly fulfill his wish.

'Seduce'...? Rin frowned, unsure what the monk meant at first. But when the word finally made itself clear in her mind and she finally grasped that the monk was implying that she... that Sesshoumaru-sama... she felt a blush creep onto her face, how dared he say something like that! That... that...

She let go of Sesshoumaru-sama abruptly, feeling somehow embarrassed about having been holding onto him like that. But her embarrassment soon gave way to anger, when she saw the monks nod to each other, as if confirming the man's speculation. And when the word 'depravity' reached her ears, she felt she had enough of them.

"You sukebe bouzu!" she told the monk off angrily, taking a step closer to the group to glare at them, "that you have dirty thoughts like that doesn't mean everybody does!"

Sesshoumaru blinked again, thoroughly surprised by Rin's behavior. Of course, he fully agreed with her words, but he would've never expected her to be so bold and collected in her opinions. And, the back of his mind noted idly, she had definitely spent too much time with the fox child if she knew expressions like that.

"And how dare you call Sesshoumaru-sama a monster, you... you jerkl!" Rin continued as she suddenly remembered what the monk had said earlier on. But it still didn't express her anger enough for her, and so she grabbed the first suitable thing in the vicinity, a springy withe lying on the ground.

"Go away!" she swiped at the group with it, while the monks were staring at her in surprise. One of them began spouting the nonsense about spells again and then about 'naive maidens'. "I'm under no spell and what I do with myself is none of your business!" She glared at them indomitably and they seemed to have finally understood her point and left, although not before launching a series of haughty glances at Sesshoumaru-sama, the bakas.

Hmph, Sesshoumaru thought, feeling somehow amused by the sight of Rin huffing like that, even more so when she turned to him again with a suddenly sheepish and bashful grin, obviously out of her, quite justified, anger. He had never thought her to be meek, he could clearly remember too many times when she'd contradict others, or even him, to ever think her so. But would've never expected her to be so... feisty, in a way. Although, he mused, perhaps it was due to the peculiar period of maturation she was still in. After all, he could still remember that he himself had given into various odd outburst when he had been that young.

But, he frowned, turning around to go back to the shiro while Rin scuttled after him, how vile the humans had to be to entertain such ideas about a child like Rin. Yes, he added, glancing towards her, she had grown even more recently and he could see that she had also began developing as a woman, but it was clear to him that she was still not an adult in her perception of the world, not matter what outburst and quirks she displayed. That the humans could ever harbor an idea of 'seducing' a child like her, he humphed indignantly at the memory, was an even further proof of how sordid they were.

Still, he considered, thinking back to the main reason of their 'visit' and reluctantly agreeing with the sentiment, it would indeed be better for Rin to return to her kind. Yes, she had promised to never attempt to become a youkai, but it would've still been better for her to live among humans. He frowned once more as he walked on, and his thoughts clouded over in a mist of confusion he had not felt in quite some time, swarming around the issue of Rin's future. She was obviously still not in the least inclined to return to her kind, and although she was still young and childish, he couldn't help but return to the question of what if she never desired to do so, what if she chose to remain here even after reaching maturity.

Would he force her to leave then...? He frowned yet again, unable to come up with a clear answer. It was not a pressing matter, she was still young, but... His frown deepened as he walked on with her next to him, and he finally decided to allow time to sift his thoughts out of the confusion and supply him with the answer he required. It was a technique that worked with most other difficulties, so, surely, it would work with this one just as well.

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When the autumn came once more, Sesshoumaru's thoughts, which he had cleared of the matter of Rin for the time being, were clouded yet again, although with a different issue. He had been walking through the corridors when a conversation in a room nearby caught his ears and his mind. It was the fox child and the washi, he found, they were chatting casually while having a meal. Of human food no less, as he could plainly smell. The fox child, as effusive as always, was telling the washi about the future and about the matter of the disappearing youkai. His own name fell from the kistune's lips too, when the boy mentioned his opinion that the youkai would die out, something he must've heard from Myouga, Sesshoumaru supposed.

He paused then near the open door to the room, interested in what the washi's reply would be. Shuukatsu was generally annoying and irrational, true, but Sesshoumaru would not deny him extensive knowledge on various subjects. He was not only probably as old as Chichi-ue, although how old exactly was something Sesshoumaru never knew, but would also constantly wander around the world, so his opinion on the subject might prove worth the time.

"Really, Sesshoumaru, how did you ever come up with an idea like that?" Shuukatsu said in his general direction and Sesshoumaru's lips pursed in annoyance. Unfortunately, the washi was also very skilled in sensing his surroundings, he noted wryly and made himself visible to the two.

"And you perhaps have a better one...?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not at the moment," Shuukatsu replied, seemingly untroubled by the fact, "but it's not possible for youkai to just die out. Youkai are not animals, killing every last one wouldn't ensure that no new ones appear."

Sesshoumaru frowned, considering the information, but the fox child disrupted his thoughts, for once with something worthwhile.

"Because youkai are of the spiritual while humans and animals are of the material?" Shippou didn't really feel all that confident on the somewhat mind-numbing subject, but he could still clearly remember the visit to Bokusenou and the answer that didn't really answer much.

Shuukatsu chose to only nod in agreement while munching on the onigiri in his hand and enjoying himself at Sesshoumaru's expense.

"But what does it really mean?" Shippou asked curiously. "That youkai are of the spiritual and the humans of the material, I mean. It never made much sense to me." It didn't, after all, he felt just as material as any human, and he was pretty sure that Kagome was more 'spiritual' than him.

An interesting question, Shuukatsu mused, observing the attention in Sesshoumaru's eyes and trying to come up with an answer that the boy would be willing to accept. "It means that humans originate from the bodily, while youkai from the spirit. 'The spirit' as in the energy that enables the life itself and permeates everything around us."

Shippou felt his mind boggle slightly, and, shaking his head to clear the confusion away, decided against analyzing the information. But Sesshoumaru frowned in concentration, trying to fit it into what he knew already.

"But humans have souls," he pointed out at length, raising an eyebrow again. It seemed quite contradictory to the idea that they were not spiritual.

Shuukatsu didn't seem to see a problem with that, however, and only looked at his amusedly. "It's their own creation," he replied, "their own energy that they had created on their own. In a way just like the youkai had become material on their own."

Sesshoumaru eyed him dubiously. "Explain."

"Explain what?" Shuukatsu blinked innocently and Sesshoumaru felt that the informative value of the conversation was not worth the annoyance after all. Frowning, he turned around and left the room. What he had learnt was enough to occupy his thoughts for quite some time, and he could always ask the washi again later anyway, when he felt more inclined to put up with him.

Shippou watched him go in relief, since the conversation was becoming a serious strain on his mind. True, it was interesting in general, but it was just like when Miroku told them about the 'Shikon', 'Four Souls' - interesting but too heavy for his mind to cooperate. However, he noted, glancing to Shuukatsu, the benefit was that the washi seemed to be thinking about it still, looking off into the distance beyond the opened external screens, and thus not paying attention to the food. Without further delay, Shippou inconspicuously edged Shuukatsu's plate to himself.

Amazing, Shuukatsu thought, watching the insatiable kitsune in the corner of his peripheral vision. The boy was stuffing the food into his mouth so fast that it seemed unbelievable he actually had the time to swallow. Not that he minded having his own part of the meal devoured thus, he didn't really need to eat and only did it for pleasure, while Shippou obviously still needed nourishment to grow.

Leaving the boy to his fun, he turned his attention back to the issue that had grasped Sesshoumaru's interest. No, it didn't seem possible to him that youkai could just 'die out'. They were a natural phenomenon in the world, and were in this or another form present in every culture he had encountered so far. He had lived for long centuries now and youkai, and also spirits, ghosts, deities, demons and whatnot, had always been there. True, some old ones had disappeared, some new ones appeared, but they were so diverse in their natures that it was only to be expected. But if what he had learnt from Shippou about the future was true, then something indeed had to have happened on the way, or rather would have to happen, although at the moment he was not entirely sure what could it be.

Yet, he appended, frowning slightly, the world was indeed changing greatly, especially in the West. He had visited it again lately, returning only a few months before he had come back here, and the changes that happened during the century or so when he had not gone there astounded him. Before, no matter how infrequently he'd travel to the West, the changes he would find were only minor. Yes, kings and armies rose and fell, but overall, it was always the same place. This time however, the changes were so sudden and abrupt that he was left feeling as if the world had picked up its pace and began speeding towards something, something it had never reached before.

Well, he noted, leaving the topic alone for the time being, it was only a few centuries more, he'd find soon enough what would happen.

And, he added, returning to the other issue at hand, he told the boy the truth about the difference between the youkai and the humans. Both were birthed out of the union of that which was material with that which was not, the union that allowed everything to exist, only that both leaned towards a different end of the continuum. Humans originated from the material, but developed their own spiritual energy, an energy that gave them souls and protection against the youkai, while the youkai originated from the non-material, yet have achieved material manifestations.

He did not tell Sesshoumaru the whole truth, true, but it would've been useless to do so right now, since the boy still thought himself so high above humans. Not to mention that there were some things he'd rather not have the boy know.

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This place was no good either, Rin decided, and paused in playing her flute on the edge of a forest near a village, among the blossoms of the spring. She had gotten much better at playing it in general, yes, but still couldn't find her melody. And even though she had prodded Shuukatsu-sama many times to give her some pointers, he would always only laugh and refuse. The most he had ever told her was that to find a melody you'd like to keep, you need to play in many places. So she played here and there, but it didn't seem to be helping.

It's not like she needed to have a melody of her own, she countered pensively, she knew many now, even Shuukatsu-sama's melody, but that was exactly the point. She too would like to find one particular piece that she'd like to keep for good with her, to create something she'd always like. But so far she could only come up with tunes that would remain entertaining for but a few weeks. However, she thought, her face slightly dropping, Shuukatsu-sama told her that it took him centuries of playing to find his melody. She had pointed out to him then, somewhat sourly, that she wasn't all that sure whether she'd have that much time, but only heard in a laughing reply that for her it would only be years, since she was human. That, she felt, sounded more feasible, but it was still a long time.

Sighing, she glanced to Shippou who was sprawled out on his stomach nearby, busy drawing something on a sheet of paper. He seemed very used by now to drawing with a piece of coal, she noted, remembering how he used to complain about not having 'crayons' anymore. She was never all that sure what exactly crayons were, but he told her that they were just colorful sticks that Kagome would bring him from her world, and that using them he could easily draw all the colors of the rainbow. But he had ran out of the ones he had years ago, not long after Inuyasha-tachi disappeared, and was forced to use just charcoal. However, she noted, tilting her head slightly and observing the image of the village that he had drawn, he seemed not only used to charcoal by now, but was actually getting quite good with it.

Yet the picture of the village he had drawn made her think of the reason why they were here and she sighed again, turning back to the scenery before her. They had come here so that she could look out for the boy she liked, who lived in this village. She had first noticed him around a few months ago, during late autumn, when she and Shippou were stocking up on chestnuts and acorns for winter and had spotted some humans doing the same not far away. The boy, Hiroshi as she had gathered, was tall and handsome, a few years older than her, as it seemed. He looked somehow serious from afar, but he would sometimes smile when talking to others and she found his smile to be very pretty. So when the spring came again, she set out to find some more about him.

Frowning, she thought back to how Shippou asked her at first why wouldn't she just go acquaint herself with him. It did sound appealing, yes, but... She frowned again, biting on her lip and remembering the monks from last summer. It's not that she was afraid of humans as such, it was just that... she didn't really feel all that comfortable around them, without Sesshoumaru-sama nearby. True, Sae-sama and Kagerou-sama told her that the monks must've been from outside the lands and that here nobody would entertain such silly ideas as 'rescuing the maiden', as Kagerou-sama had put it, but...

She sighed again, absentmindedly playing with the flute in her hands. It was just that she sometimes felt as if everybody in the shiro thought that sooner or later she'd go back to humans. They had never really said anything like that, but... she just felt as if they did sometimes. And the fact that she could still remember how Sesshoumaru-sama took her to the Tanabata didn't help either. She knew now that Sesshoumaru-sama cared for her, and that he did like having her around, in a way, but... she somehow also felt that he thought that humans and youkai lived in different worlds, and thus that it would be better for her to live with humans. But she just... didn't want to, she thought, her fingers sliding over the holes of the flute. She wanted to stay here with them all forever, just like she was now.

But, she considered, glancing back towards the village, it would be nice to find out more about why boys could be so appealing, in a way. She was nearing seventeen now and yet her only experiences with boys were limited to having had a crush on Ryouken. Her cheeks blushed slightly, it had been rather... silly of her to have been infatuated with him like that, she thought in embarrassment. He didn't seem appealing to her anymore at all, actually, he seemed quite... childish to her now, and she preferred not to return to the issue. But... it would be nice to like somebody like that again, somebody who would be worth it.

Sighing again, she raised the flute to her lips again, this time to search for another melody she recently thought of finding. She wanted to find a melody that would be good for Sesshoumaru-sama, and although it was still very much not ready, she felt she was having more luck with it than with her own melody.

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Although Sesshoumaru had cast the issue of Rin's future out of his mind after the encounter with the sordid monks, when the autumn came once more, he was made to think about it again, quite forcefully at that. It had happened when he had accidentally wandered too close to a human village and nearly walked onto two young human females who were sitting at the edge of the forest around the village, engaged in conversation.

He was about to turn around and walk away, having no desire for the company of humans, but the words of one of them made him stop abruptly. 'Seriously, I'm already 16, if I don't get married soon, I'm going to be an old maid!'.

'Old maid', his mind repeated the words incredulously. Old maid at the age of sixteen...? Rin was seventeen now, he thought in stunned realization. Slowly, he moved closer towards the two females, wanting to assess if they looked somehow any older than Rin.

No, he found when they came into his view, they looked just as young as Rin. Which meant, he realized, once more incredulously, that according to the human standards, Rin was already of maritable age...

He blinked slowly in surprise. It somehow had never occurred to him before; yes, he could remember plainly that she used to feel some sort of an attraction towards Ryouken, but he was quite sure that it was nothing more than just a childish urge induced by puberty. And she still seemed very immature to him, very much not yet of age.

Turning around and leaving the two human females to their issues, he pondered the somewhat astounding problem. To him, Rin was still a child, a child on the verge of maturity, yes, but nevertheless still a child. Yet according to human standards, she was not only grown enough to take a mate, but would be an 'old maid' if she didn't do so soon.

Logically, it would've been best to return her to the humans as soon as possible, since as he had once concluded, finding a human mate would've been best for her. But... he frowned again, thinking about her childishness, it seemed ridiculous to him that she could possibly be old enough for it. She smiled and laughed just as she always did, doing the same things she would always do. And although he did perceive a certain maturation of her language and thoughts, she did not seem mentally grown to him yet, not enough to understand the benefits that reuniting with her kind would provide her with.

What should he do about it then, he considered, displeased to feel his thoughts grow muddled again. Should he make her rejoin her kind now or just let her make her own decisions, even though she was still too young to be able to comprehend the entirety of the situation...? Yes, her life was her own, and what she did with it was none of his business, but... But...

Entangled in the problem, he returned to shiro and began observing Rin carefully, weighting his options. She did seem fully grown, he observed, at least physically. She had grown to what he assumed to be her full height, reaching to his neck, which seemed to be a standard height for a human female. Her body had also developed into its full, or at least nearly full, growth, as he had observed when he had spotted her dressed only in a light inner clothing as she was returning from the bathhouse. And although she smiled and laughed as much as always, it occurred to him that perhaps what he considered to be childishness on her part, was only light-heartedness, being a natural feature of her character. Which meant she would not become any more mature no matter how much more time he gave her.

And on one still warm late autumn evening, when he was sitting against a tree in the garden, among the thickening night, and Rin was lying on her back nearby, watching the stars, he had reached his decision.

How dazzling, Rin thought, staring up into the starry skies above. The stars were spread out beautifully over the dark blue velvet of the evening sky, forming clusters and paths, twinkling and sparkling. It was a very pleasurable thing to do, she found, to just lie like that and watch the stars. The evening was still warm and somehow lazy, and the smells of autumn, of fallen leaves and nuts, were only adding to the pleasure.

"Rin," she heard Sesshoumaru-sama's voice among the soft rustling of the leaves and turned her head to look at him. "Tomorrow you will go to Urabe."

Rin observed him quietly, unsure what that was supposed to mean. She could remember Urabe, vaguely, but could, yet she had no reason to go there.

"You will live with Moshimune from now on." She blinked, feeling something cold creep suddenly inside her. Was Sesshoumaru-sama... was he... was he saying that she would have to leave him...? To go live with the humans...?

"You are human and your place is with humans," he added, looking at her impassively.

She sat up abruptly, her heart suddenly racing as she was looking at him with wide eyes. Was he really telling her to leave him...? But... She didn't want to go anywhere, she was happy here and she most certainly did not want to live with humans, especially if they had thoughts like those monks!

"I don't want to live with humans," she told Sesshoumaru-sama, looking at him intently.

Sesshoumaru-sama turned his eyes away from hers to look at the autumn garden around them. "You will go live with them," he said, his voice somehow stern, as if he had made his decision and he would not be turned back from it.

She rose dazedly to her feet and moved to sit down right next to him. She had to make him understand, she had to make him see.

"I don't want to," she repeated, her throat somehow constricted as she was looking at Sesshoumaru-sama's calm face.

Sesshoumaru felt his lips grow thin. He didn't need to look at her to know that the dark and sullen look he could still remember so clearly from years before was beginning to creep into her eyes. He didn't want to see her like that, it was as ill-suited to her as can be, he knew that. But... he was not trying to hurt her, he was not trying to betray her trust that he had never asked for, he was only trying to offer her a life among her kind, to prevent her from the sorrow of having no other choice but to live among youkai.

"You cannot know that," he told her, still watching the autumn trees, "you have never really lived among humans."

Rin watched him in desperation that was quickly growing frantic. She didn't want to go live with humans, she never did, and she was certain she never would. There was no point in trying it if she already knew she wouldn't like it, she thought defiantly, her brow knitting as her mind was frantically searching for some way out of it.

"And if I try it, and still don't like it," she asked finally, finding the ray of hope she was looking for, "would I have to stay with them then...?"

Sesshoumaru considered her words. If she felt unhappy with humans, even when she would have learnt how it was to live with her kind, would he make her stay with them...? Well, he thought, frowning, it was better for her to stay with her kind, either way... No, he realized suddenly, turning his eyes to her again as she was sitting on her knees next to him, the important thing was not making her stay with her kind at all costs. What mattered was ensuring that she would remain as happy as she was, even after years of living. He blinked, surprised to feel that it was and indeed important thing to him, that the idea of her living a dark and a sullen life was somehow... not acceptable.

"No," he replied, and her eyes brightened up at once.

Rin felt as if some heavy weight had been suddenly lifted off her shoulders. If it was only for some time, then she could do it, although she still saw no point in it. "So for how long will I have to stay there?" she asked, hoping it would be as short as possible. "A month?"

Sesshoumaru raised a dubious eyebrow. Really, a month was hardly any time at all, even for her.

"A year," he said and when her eyes clearly told him she was about to object, he got up to leave. The matter was settled, there was nothing more to it.

Rin's eyes followed Sesshoumaru-sama incredulously as he got up and then began walking away. A year...? A year...? That was so long! She did not want to stay away for so long at all! Not only because it wouldn't be fun at all to have to stay with the humans for so long, but also because she would miss everybody so much!

But, she realized suddenly, her eyes still following Sesshoumaru-sama as he was walking slowly through the shadowy garden, it could turn out not so bad after all. True, it was long, but... if it meant that she would never have to worry about leaving again, then it might be worth it...

Getting up swiftly, she ran after Sesshoumaru-sama to make sure that it would indeed be the case.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she began, stopping in front of him and looking up to him intently, "If I go there, and yet don't like it and come back, will Sesshoumaru-sama... never make me go away again...?

Sesshoumaru looked down to her, noticing that her eyes were not dark anymore, nor bright, but somehow... pleading...? He frowned, feeling that his reply would be very important to her and therefore considering her question carefully. If she tried living with humans, and still found it not to her liking at all, would he ever try to make her leave again...? Would he still consider her judgment inadequate then...? No, he felt, looking into her somehow pleading eyes, he would not try to make her leave again. She would know her choices then and it would be up to her and her alone which one she chose.

"I would not," he replied finally and she smiled brightly at once. "Be ready tomorrow then," he added and left her in the garden.

Rin kept smiling happily as she watched Sesshoumaru-sama walk towards the shiro. If Sesshoumaru-sama said he wouldn't, then it most certainly meant he indeed wouldn't. Which meant she would most certainly not have to worry about it ever again, since she was more than sure that she would not want to stay with humans, no matter how long she had to live with them.

So, even though a year did seem rather long, she thought, walking towards the shiro after Sesshoumaru-sama, it was very much worth it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"You're really going to be away for a whole year..?" Shippou-chan asked amazedly, while snacking on some acorns. They were in their room, and she had just informed her companions of her departure that was to happen on the morrow.

"Hmph, it's only long for you, baka," Jaken huffed, as always jumping at an occasion to slant Shippou-chan. It seemed to be a hobby of theirs, she noted lightly when Shippou-chan retorted that it took a baka to know a baka, something he didn't seem to have thought through really.

She would really miss everybody, she felt, watching them continue the squabble and move onto handiwork in no time. She would miss Shippou-chan's liveliness, Jaken's grumbles, Myouga-sama's snores and Sae-sama's warm smile. And, she noted pensively, she couldn't even say goodbye to Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama since they had already left for the winter. But she could say goodbye to the others and she promptly did so, assuring them that she would most certainly be back in a year, and repeating the process in the morning, when she woke up and made herself ready for her departure.

She then picked up Aun and went to join Sesshoumaru-sama who had been waiting for her in the courtyard. When she saw him stand and wait for her to be ready, she suddenly realized that she would miss Sesshoumaru-sama the most. Sesshoumaru-sama had always been there, she couldn't even remember anymore a time when he was not around. And as he stood in the courtyard, among the fresh sunlight, he seemed to her to be as if a warranty of her happiness, as if as long as he was around, she would always be happy.

Yes, she would very much miss him, she felt when they took off into the air, she would miss the quiet presence of Sesshoumaru-sama when they would spend time together, and the sense of security she felt when she would join him for a walk. But, she countered resolutely, it was only for a year. And when she would come back, he would still be here, same as before, and everything would be just as it ought to be again.

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General notes:

Snow symbols – naturally, the 'winter scene' at the beginning of the chapter was to be symbolic, since Rin admires winter and yet shakes off the snow off the branches ;) I'm not very good with symbols yet, but I had some practice recently while writing Jiyuu na Kaze, so I think I'll get there in time, I hope...

Renaissance – note that the reason why Shuukatsu was surprised after going to the West was that he had missed the beginning of Renaissance, and thus also, for example, the 'discovery' of America, and so on and on. After all the time frame here is circa 1570 by now, so a lot had happened in the Western civilizations within the century (or maybe rather two) prior to that. I think that I should've made it two centuries, not one, but I'm not sure yet how will the background story of Mari go (only 10 or so people know who Mari is, hahaha).

I also forgot to mention in the last chapter that in the Japanese culture musical instruments, just like swords, are treated very personally, often being given names and being kept in the family for long years. Which is why Rin felt obliged to ask Shuukatsu whether he wouldn't miss it. Of course, the fact that he had more than one was intentionally symbolic, cough. Also, as some people have noticed, the flute and the theme of finding her own melody is also symbolic, somewhat coarsely symbolic, but it will get 'desymbolized' later on.

Review replies:

RabidAnimeGurl: Thank you! I once more agree about the voices, it's a serious let down, especially since the example of Goldenboy (out of the anime I know) shows that it is possible to do a good English dub for Japanese anime. As for the manga I would recommend the shop I buy manga from (www. aclimatesolution. com), but it is a bit expensive (I don't have a choice since it's the cheapest to deliver to where I live).

And although Kagura has been removed for now, I think with the later-on insertion, I will make her have some 'scenes' with Sesshoumaru, mwahahaha, cough, splutter...

mystal: Thank you! I'm very glad you liked the ending, since I liked the image too, and I somehow felt it suited Rin/Sess well. And for a pic of Rin, see my profile and for my view on Rin's attitude towards Sesshoumaru – the chapter note ;) And yes, I agree that there is something there between Kagura and Sesshoumaru, but I think the exact reason why fics with them end up OCC is the fact that they are just ill-suited for each other. So to make the pairing work in a long run, either their characters have to be changed, or they have to placed in particular circumstances, when they would have to spend a lot of time with each other (but even then I don't think it would've worked for good).

LadyOfTheWestLands: Thank you and I do know what you mean about seeing events, and hence am very glad that it works for you with this fic:D

DominicShade: Thank you, hahaha:D I don't think I will have Shippou impress Rin, because it would complicate things a lot and stretch the story out even further, so maybe I'll insert some other 'manly' interaction between them. And I haven't thought about making Sesshoumaru jealous over Shuukatsu before, but you actually have a fantastic point there and I think I'll use it once Rin is a bit older (since Shuukatsu is a womanizer, but even he wouldn't consider a 15 year old girl. At least not anymore, ehm)

DPM: 'Liberally sprinkled', hahaha, a very kind way to put it! And thank you very much:D

Shadowkeepre: Thank you, especially since I had been going for that effect, not only because Sesshoumaru is an adult while Rin is a child, but also because it's something that is often omitted in Inuyasha fanfics, and I think that it is interesting to explore the rift between humans and youkai beyond just powers and origin.

Anonymous: Thank you and I'm very glad that you liked (and laughed at!) the scenes you mentioned, since those were exactly the effects I was going for:D

MyFirstreviewever: –blushes profusely– Thank you very much for such praise! And I'm also very glad that you spent your first review ever on this particular fic! ;)

Sexysaxist: Thank you, as always! I think you can be safely called my most appreciated reviewer:D But first thing's first – we do get to see Sesshoumaru laugh, in Episode 18 when Inuyasha dugs himself out from underneath the rubble of the ogre Sesshoumaru had laid waste to! It's a sort of a dark chuckle, but it counts nevertheless, haha. As for Rin's feelings for Sesshoumaru, I have rumbled about it in the note, to the spirit that I agree with you, it's not all that easy at all.

And about your very detailed and greatly satisfying other reviews – I am extremely grateful for you taking the time to review like that, because the things you mentioned were the exact things I was going for, so needless to say I'm overjoyed that somebody noticed them:D I'm not entirely fluent on the control over where I insert what bit on his character, so if I ever have the time (and skill) I think I'll edit the whole thing to be more logical in those insertions. Right now I still do it pretty much on impulse – if something can be fit into the consciousness stream of a character, then I do it, and although the method seems to be working for now, it is a bit haphazardous, hmmm...

On a lighter note, I have to honestly admit that I don't have much experience with children, being an only child and not having any of my own yet (I feel definitely too young for that!), so I was reaching mostly to my own surviving memories of that age, and am very glad to hear that it sounds believable:D

Also, I would like to thank you for the wonderful review for Jiyuu na Kaze (I have actually saved all reviews :)). I particularly appreciate the fact that you also make critical remarks, especially because you make them in a way that is not hurtful but constructive and very appreciated. Most people prefer to just review on the points they liked, not wanting to discourage the author (and so do I, most often, since it does not feel nice to get a critical review) but without criticism it's very hard to improve. True, your advice on being more concise had given me a lot of hard time recently, but it's for the best, since I really do need to improve on that. Therefore, should you ever feel like reviewing my fics again (please do!) I would be more than obliged if you would continue pointing out things that demand more attention! And thank you again:D

I have a name: Thank you:)

Maore: Thank you! And I'm glad to hear you liked the flute scene, since it will be coming back, as I have mentioned in the general notes.

SusanneTJ: I do know what you mean about the lighter bits, and I usually do try to insert some lighter parts in between the heavier stuff, but sometimes I rush too much and just concentrate the 'necessary', so to speak, content, thus making it too heavy, like Chapter 9, I think, which needs some editing. And thank you for reviewing:D

The Cynical Rust: Thank you! It was a very uplifting review, and I did indeed need to hear that there are people who don't want just romance or the like and who like the things that you have listed (which happen to be on my 'like and dislike' list too). And I will try to follow through with the greatly appreciated advice to just write as I see fit (although I do feel that my style when it comes to dialogue and action needs serious improvement). And don't save space on reviews, after all, if saving space was the thing, this fic would've been only 8000 not 80000 words long and they would be having grandchildren by now! ;)

Ena: Thank you for the encouragement! I do have to say though that the idea of Jaken is quite intriguing, hmmmm -–pictures the whole scenario of Rin waking in on Sesshoumaru and Jaken–- ;) And don't worry about mistakes, English is not my first language either, so I can fully relate to making accidental mistakes despite being fluent in the language (as you obviously are). Not to mention that you didn't make any mistakes!

Angellips: Thank you very much –blushes–. I especially liked hearing that you would still read it even if it wouldn't grow into a romance, and that you don't skip any part! It is indeed important for an author, I find, to occasionally hear something like that, so thank you :)

Snowlock: Thank you! Although in principle I agree with your advice (even if I used it a bit conversely in the top review note), the problem is that I don't find myself to be good enough to do it while retaining the general spirit of the story. I do keep inserting lighter bits, but inserting action or fluff would ruin the general feel of it (which is to be that of calm and peaceful years, and slow growth for all of them), unless I managed to find some non-intrusive way to do it. But this is what I don't manage to do so far, sigh. And I have to confess that although this is indeed my very first fanfiction (minus the first try of it) and the first creative thing I have written ever (minus some inane poetry at younger age), I do have years of obligatory courses on literature and literary criticism behind me, so any merit to this story is to be attributed to that, I'm afraid, cough, cough.

Lili: Thank you and don't worry about the length of reviews! The more detailed the better imo ;) And I'm very glad to know that you liked the story for more than romance and being Sess/Rin. And I agree about the slow growth of any potential Sess/Rin development, they just don't seem like people who'd fall for one another within one day ;)

Msram79: –blushes– Thank you! As you can see, I got a bit over the crisis, although it's still hindering my writing somewhat. Still, as long as it means I will improve in the long run, all is well! And I don't intend to give up on the story, even if I sometimes happen to take breaks from it ;). I'm also extremely flattered that you liked the story enough to print it and share with friends :o I think that's one of the greatest effective praises, and a great encouragement too, that an author can get, so thank you very much:D

Nenmeris: –blushes– Thank you! And I do very much agree that what the readers would want shouldn't cloud over what I want from the story, but the problem is that once I write something, I can't be the judge of it, simply because I already know what I wanted to convey (a problem every author deals with daily, I think... sigh). I do have to say that it's not that I feel bad at writing in general, I feel passable when it comes to narration, but it's the dialogue and action that keeps pissing me off, so to speak, which is why I decided to specifically ask the reviewers for criticism on that:) And thank you greatly for the encouragement!

RinoaHeart7: Thank you, but I do feel obliged to tell you, in view of my recent writing crisis, that you will have to wait some more for the romance, and that I intend to take all the sweet time I want with it! ;)

idril: Hahaha, thank you very much for all the kind words! And I'm very glad to hear you don't skip any parts, since almost every single part contains something important! Not to mention that every writer wants to be read in full! ;)

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Wow, that has been a lot of reviews to reply to... Don't stop! Seriously!