A/N: Hey guys. Thanks for all the caffeine support. :) And, of course, thanks for all the reviews. I'm very proud to say that I have exactly 50 reviewers, and I'm so, so happy about that. I'd love more. (subtle, aren't I?) Man, this is one long chapter.
jen-Is that a good thing? Bad thing?
Defense.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby, LORELAI and RORY have just walked in]
Mia: Lorelai?
Lorelai: (walking over to her)Hey, Mia.
Rory: Hi Miss Mia!
Mia: Hello, dear. You two look happy.
Lorelai: Well, we are. You know, there's just some days when you're happy. We had strawberries-
Rory: -and whipped cream!
Lorelai: And I had the best coffee I've had in days, we're going to Luke's again, it's just...it's all good.
Mia: Don't forget to call your parents.
Lorelai: And then it all crashes down. Excuse me?
Mia: You didn't forget, did you?
Lorelai: I did, I did. Huh. That's today?
Mia: It sure is.
Lorelai: Well, isn't that just great?
Rory: Yes!
Lorelai: Oh, well, apparently it is.
Mia: So I'll be seeing you tonight, I guess?
Lorelai: Yes, you will. For the call. (to RORY)Let's go, babe.
Rory: Bye.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, maintenance room]
Rory: I forgot all about Gramma and Granpa.
Lorelai: So did I.
Rory: You're sad.
Lorelai: I am not.
Rory: You were happy before. (they walk into the hall)
[Cut To: Independence Inn, hallway]
Lorelai: I'm still happy.
Rory: Nu-uh.
Lorelai: You know how you can feel great one night and all the world's nice? (RORY smiles and nods)And then you wake up the next morning with the worst hangover?
Rory: The what?
Lorelai: Uh, never mind. It's...no, never mind.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, room 15]
Rory: Brought my book.
Lorelai: Good, good.
Rory: So now I'm gonna read it.
Lorelai: Good plan.
Rory: (reading)The Secret of the Old Clock. Chapter one. The Ressyou. (LORELAI smiles)Nancy Drew, an at-ra-ca-tive girl of eighteen, was driving home along a country road...
[Cut To: Independence Inn, room 23, LORELAI uses the key and walks in, and is surprised to see JOSH coming out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. She jumps back, screams and closes the door]
Rory: What, Mommy? (referring to the book)It's not scary.
Lorelai: Ah, we're going to come back to this room.
Josh: (from inside)It's okay, come in.
Lorelai: Are you decent?
Josh: I wasn't indecent. (she opens the door and walks in)Hi.
Lorelai: You get dressed fast.
Josh: Well, screaming tends to speed a person up.
Lorelai: Oh, sorry, yeah, that was-
Rory: Mr. Josh.
Josh: Hey, Rory.
Lorelai: Strangely enough, we've never had someone in the room when we come.
Josh: So, you're a maid?
Lorelai: No, I'm not. I'm actually a brain surgeon, but they were short a maid so I volunteered.
Rory: (whispering)She's lying.
Josh: I know she is. And isn't that awful?
Rory: Yes.
Josh: You should show her how to tell the truth. So answer my question. Is she a maid?
Rory: Yes.
Josh: Okay. (to LORELAI)I'm sorry, you failed the lie detector test.
Lorelai: Yes, well, she has yet to develop my wit.
Josh: Whatcha got there, Rory?
Rory: Book.
Josh: (smiling at LORELAI)I see that. What book?
Rory: Secret of the Old Clock.
Josh: Can I see?
Rory: (reluctantly handing it over)Don't lose the page.
Josh: I won't. Ah, Nancy Drew. Did your mom buy this for you?
Rory: No, she had it.
Josh: (looking at LORELAI, smiling)She had it, because she bought it for you?
Rory: No. (JOSH laughs)
Lorelai: Oh, shut up.
Josh: (giving the book back to RORY, teasing)No, it's nice.
Lorelai: I don't need this.
Josh: No, Nancy Drew is very sophisticated. (after a pause)How many have you read?
Lorelai: Josh-
Josh: How many?
Lorelai: (sighing)All of them.
Josh: Wow. That's very impressive. You a member of the fan club?
Lorelai: You know, I have to go.
Josh: Just answer.
Lorelai: Bye-bye, Josh.
Josh: Come on.
Lorelai: Say bye, Rory.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: Bye.
Josh: (as they leave)Were you president?
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby, RORY walks up to the front desk]
Rory: Can I have the phone, please?
Mia: Yes, ma'am. Here you go. (she hands RORY the phone)
Rory: Thank you. (she walks back over to the couch, where LORELAI is waiting)Here. (she gives LORELAI the phone)
Lorelai: Okay, rules.
Rory: Rules?
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: No hanging up.
Lorelai: Okay, well, that'll be number one. Number two: no telling addresses, phone numbers, or any kind of location.
Rory: Okay.
Lorelai: Three: if she wants to take you away, give me the phone back.
Rory: But-
Lorelai: Even if she just mentions it. And last: we're not saying that Chris is here.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Because, okay? Just because.
Rory: And no hanging up.
Lorelai: That's rule one. (RORY gives her an expectant look)Fine, it's rule one and rule four.
Rory: Ready?
Lorelai: Yes. (she dials)Mom?
Emily: (phone)Lorelai?
Lorelai: No, it's the other girl who calls you 'mom.'
Emily: (phone)Are you ready to come home?
Lorelai: (sighing)No, we're not...we're not coming there. This is home. Look, I'm not having this discussion every week.
Emily: (phone)Is that when you're calling? Every week?
Lorelai: Yes, every Wednesday. I told you.
Emily: (phone)No, you didn't.
Lorelai: I did, too.
Emily: (phone)No.
Lorelai: Yes.
Emily: (phone)No.
Lorelai: So anyway. How's the...uh...the DAR?
Emily: (phone)The what?
Lorelai: The DAR? I know you know it.
Emily: (phone)Well, it's...fine.
Lorelai: Good, then.
Emily: (phone)Why would you ask something like that?
Lorelai: (she sees JOSH walk out of the kitchen and sit on the chair next to them. He starts making funny faces at RORY, and she laughs. He turns and smiles at LORELAI)I'm interested.
Emily: (phone)Is that Rory laughing?
Lorelai: Yup.
Emily: (phone)She sounds happy.
Lorelai: She is happy, Mom. We both are.
Emily: (phone)I'm glad.
Lorelai: Um, is Dad there?
[Cut To: Gilmore House, EMILY is sitting at a desk and RICHARD is on the couch in front of her, reading the paper]
Emily: No, he's not. He's off with Dennis at the office. Working late.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby]
Lorelai: (obviously disappointed)Oh, okay.
Josh: (concerned)You okay? (LORELAI puts her hand on her mouth, telling him to be quiet)
Emily: (phone)Who is that?
Lorelai: Who?
Emily: (phone)I don't know, but I'd like to.
Lorelai: I don't know who you mean.
Emily: (phone)The voice, Lorelai. I distinctly heard a male voice.
Lorelai: Oh, who, oh, oh, yeah, there's some guy up at the desk. He's yelling. (looking at JOSH)Kinda crazy, if you ask me.
Emily: (phone)A desk? What desk?
Lorelai: The reception desk.
Emily: (phone)Like the one at a hotel?
Lorelai: No, like the one at the inn. Where I work. Where I...am.
Emily: (phone)You work at an inn?
Lorelai: I told you that.
Emily: (phone)No, you didn't.
Lorelai: Hey, look, here's Rory. Talk to Rory. (she hands RORY the phone)
Rory: Hi, Gramma! Yeah, I'm fine. I started a new book, I can read it. It's about a clock. I don't know, it's a secret. We're okay, promise. Granpa's gone? Oh. It's okay. Yes, we're okay. Yes. No, Mommy says I can't say the number. Nope. What kind of doll? (LORELAI takes the phone, and can hear EMILY)
Emily: (phone)...brown hair like yours. And she'll have lots and lots of dresses and hats and bags. So what do you say?
Lorelai: (imitating a child's voice)I say...(regular voice)stop trying to bribe my kid.
Emily: (phone)I wasn't.
Lorelai: Oh, please, Mom. You've been caught, okay?
Emily: (phone)Are you going to hang up on me again?
Lorelai: I should, but no. Don't do it again. (she hands the phone back to RORY)
Rory: Hi again. Now, what kind of doll? (LORELAI shakes her head)Never mind.
Lorelai: (to JOSH)What are you doing, sticking around after your shift?
Josh: Well, believe it or not, I wasn't just taking a shower in a random room. I'm staying here.
Lorelai: Oh, of course. So, how come?
Josh: My parents kicked me out.
Lorelai: Aww, Josh.
Josh: It's okay, it's nice here. Good people.
Lorelai: What'd you do?
Josh: Nothing.
Lorelai: Nothing?
Josh: That's right, nothing. No college plans, no apartment, no "real job."
Lorelai: You've got a real job.
Josh: Oh, I'm sorry, you haven't met my father. There are three real jobs. The military, law and medicine.
Lorelai: Huh. And I'm guessing you're not looking to be in any of those fields, are you?
Josh: No, I am not.
Lorelai: Hence the kicking out.
Josh: Exactly.
Lorelai: Well how are you? Doing okay?
Josh: Sure, I'm good. The, uh, the housekeeping's a little rude, but other than that, all is well.
Lorelai: I didn't know you were there.
Josh: That's why you knock and say (in a high-pitched voice)"housekeeping."
Lorelai: I do not sound like that.
Josh: Well, still.
Lorelai: Sorry.
Josh: It's okay.
Lorelai: So, back to the kick-out.
Josh: Uh-huh, re-open the wounds.
Lorelai: You're just going to live here forever?
Josh: Are you?
Lorelai: What?
Josh: I've seen you go to the shed. You live there, right?
Lorelai: Ah...(she laughs nervously)no.
Josh: I won't say anything.
Lorelai: I'm...we're...not.
Josh: It's okay.
Lorelai: We're not!
Josh: (knowing she's lying)Okay, I was wrong. Sorry. (they are silent)
Rory: Luke is nice and we have lots of strawberries. Yeah, he lets me call him Luke. He said so. He did! Yes. Yes! Okay. And Miss Patty's having a dance. I don't know. She talks a lot. Lots and lots. We're going. Miss Mia, too. I guess she's married. Maybe she has kids. I don't know, she's real old. Sorry, Gramma. Sorry.
Lorelai: Time to get off, babe.
Rory: Mommy says I gotta say bye. Bye. (she hangs up and gives the phone to LORELAI)
[Cut To: Gilmore House, EMILY gets up and sits on the couch across from RICHARD. He doesn't look up]
Emily: Well, that was Lorelai.
Richard: I gathered as much.
Emily: She asked for you.
Richard: (uninterested)Did she?
Emily: I said that you were at the office.
Richard: You didn't have to lie.
Emily: (angrily)Yes, I did! Put down the paper! (he does)Your daughter wanted to talk to you and I had to lie and cover up for you.
Richard: You certainly had no obligation to do so.
Emily: Yes, I did.
Richard: To whom?
Emily: To our daughter! Richard, all she wanted to do was talk to you.
Richard: Perhaps I could, were she upstairs in her room.
Emily: We're going to have to get used to this. She's in her new home.
Richard: And yet you still ask if she'll return?
Emily: I'll always ask.
Richard: And I'll always wait for her to come home. That doesn't mean that I need to encourage this.
Emily: Don't be silly.
Richard: I am not being silly. She takes Rory, moves away, gets a job, a new home, a new life, and I don't talk to her, so I'm the bad one?
Emily: Yes! We're the parents, we're supposed to rise above this.
Richard: She is a parent, Emily! That's the point! She's a parent, and she lives like a child. She leaves on a whim-at least she remembered Rory-
Emily: No.
Richard: Excuse me?
Emily: No, you will not say that. Lorelai may not have the life we had wanted for her. She may not have taken the path we would have set for her, or the amended one we made. But that girl, that woman, she is a wonderful mother to her little girl. She cares for her, and she loves her more than she does herself. So don't you dare even say that she's anything less. (EMILY gets up and walks up the stairs)
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby]
Lorelai: (walking up to the desk to return the phone with RORY)So, Duke's?
Rory: Yeah! Lemme get my book. (they walk over to the couch, where JOSH is still sitting)
Lorelai: You wanna come, too, Josh?
Josh: Where?
Lorelai: Duke's.
Rory: Luke's. (JOSH still looks confused)
Lorelai: (shocked)The place of the hamburger.
Rory: The stawberries.
Lorelai: The coffee.
Rory: The soda.
Lorelai: The coffee.
Rory: Whipped cream.
Lorelai: Duke's, Josh. It's like...a restaurant. Food.
Josh: Actually, I know what it is. But watching that was fun.
Lorelai: Oh, you suck.
[Cut To: Luke's Diner, LORELAI, RORY and JOSH sit at a table]
Luke: (surprised to see someone with them)Coffee guy.
Lorelai: Oh, don't be silly, Duke. You're the coffee guy.
Luke: No, he came in and ordered like four cups. He said the coffee at the inn was bad.
Lorelai: No, I think that was me.
Luke: No...
Josh: (faking shock)You said the coffee was bad?
Lorelai: You said it was?
Josh: You thought it was?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Josh: Well, me too!
Lorelai: If you knew it was bad, why did you keep making it?
Josh: Because it's my job. If you knew it was bad, why did you keep drinking it?
Lorelai: Because it sustains life.
Josh: (to LUKE)So I'm thinking we'll have two coffees.
Lorelai: Yeah, and I'll have two, also. (JOSH laughs)And a hamburger, fries, onion rings for me.
Rory: Burger for me, too. Wait, grilled cheese. No, burger. No. Both?
Luke: How about a cheeseburger?
Rory: 'Kay.
Luke: (to JOSH)You?
Josh: Uh, I'll just share.
Lorelai: With who?
Josh: You're not going to eat all that.
Lorelai: I'm pretty sure we will. And more. (to LUKE)Pie?
Luke: We're out.
Lorelai: No, you aren't.
Luke: Yes, we are.
Lorelai: (lying)Okay, forget the pie, then.
Josh: And I'll have...tuna salad sandwich.
Luke: Comin' up. (he walks away)
Lorelai: No pie. Who does he think he's dealing with? (to a passing waiter)Hey, kid.
Waiter: Yeah?
Lorelai: What's your name?
Waiter: Vinnie.
Lorelai: Hey, Vinnie, what kind of pie do you have today?
Vinnie: Apple and cherry.
Lorelai: Thank you, Vinnie. You are an awesome person.
Vinnie: Uh...thanks. (he walks away)
Lorelai: I'll be back. (she walks up to the counter, where LUKE is trying to ignore TAYLOR, who is taking off all of the hamburger toppings that he ordered)Hey.
Luke: Hey.
Lorelai: Apple and cherry.
Luke: Blueberry and orange.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: I don't know, what are we talking about?
Lorelai: Oh, I think you know. (LUKE doesn't answer)The pie. Apple. Cherry.
Luke: Fine, you caught me.
Lorelai: Was there ever any doubt? (LUKE rolls his eyes and goes into the back)
Taylor: Lorelai.
Lorelai: StalkerMan.
Taylor: I do not like that nickname.
Lorelai: Life's hard like that.
Taylor: I just wanted to bring it to your attention that you have seemed to dodge every bill here at Luke's.
Lorelai: What?
Taylor: I am informed that this is referred to as a "dine-and-dash," and it is unacceptable.
Lorelai: I'm not dashing.
Taylor: So it's as I thought. You've got a thing with Luke.
Lorelai: A thing?
Taylor: Some sort of agreement?
Lorelai: Uh, yeah. He gives me food, I eat it. It's been working.
Taylor: You're going to need to start paying, or Luke will be fined.
Lorelai: Well I don't want that. (LUKE comes out of the kitchen)Hey, Duke?
Luke: Uh-huh?
Lorelai: Listen, I've been informed (she looks at TAYLOR)that I've got a bill. And, you know, I'll pay you off.
Luke: What, like the Mafia?
Lorelai: No. Mafia offs you.
Luke: Oh.
Lorelai: So, yeah, I'll pay tomorrow.
Luke: No, you don't need to.
Lorelai: Of course I do.
Luke: No, see- (he looks at TAYLOR)Here, come here.
[Cut To: Luke's Diner, storage room]
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Look, I know you don't have a lot of money. You don't need to-
Lorelai: Wait, you "know?" How might you know that?
Luke: I heard, once, at the inn...
Lorelai: Were you spying on me?
Luke: Of course not. I was there to drop off Rory's book, and I heard you and Mia.
Lorelai: I can't believe you!
Luke: Don't take this the wrong way.
Lorelai: Which way is that? 'Cause the way I'm seeing it is pity. You giving me pity.
Luke: I'm not. I'm just helping out.
Lorelai: No, you aren't. I don't need your pity!
Luke: I know you don't.
Lorelai: So don't give me any!
Luke: I'm not!
Lorelai: (sighing)Duke, don't make me get mad at you, you've got the good coffee.
Luke: You don't need to pay. You don't even-
Lorelai: -eat that much? You know we do.
Luke: Well, yeah. You do.
Lorelai: I'm paying you.
Luke: Okay, how about this? Don't pay for what's added up, and you can pay from now on. Deal?
Lorelai: (smiling)Yes. Deal.
Luke: Good. (LORELAI goes to walk out)Wait.
Lorelai: Huh?
Luke: That kid...
Lorelai: Josh.
Luke: Josh. You seeing him?
Lorelai: (smiling)No. Why?
Luke: Just wondering. So...you're not?
Lorelai: Nope.
Luke: But you are...with Chris, right?
Lorelai: (sighing)No. And I don't want to talk about him.
Luke: Sorry.
Lorelai: It's okay. So, is that it?
Luke: Yup. That's all I needed to know.
jen-Is that a good thing? Bad thing?
Defense.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby, LORELAI and RORY have just walked in]
Mia: Lorelai?
Lorelai: (walking over to her)Hey, Mia.
Rory: Hi Miss Mia!
Mia: Hello, dear. You two look happy.
Lorelai: Well, we are. You know, there's just some days when you're happy. We had strawberries-
Rory: -and whipped cream!
Lorelai: And I had the best coffee I've had in days, we're going to Luke's again, it's just...it's all good.
Mia: Don't forget to call your parents.
Lorelai: And then it all crashes down. Excuse me?
Mia: You didn't forget, did you?
Lorelai: I did, I did. Huh. That's today?
Mia: It sure is.
Lorelai: Well, isn't that just great?
Rory: Yes!
Lorelai: Oh, well, apparently it is.
Mia: So I'll be seeing you tonight, I guess?
Lorelai: Yes, you will. For the call. (to RORY)Let's go, babe.
Rory: Bye.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, maintenance room]
Rory: I forgot all about Gramma and Granpa.
Lorelai: So did I.
Rory: You're sad.
Lorelai: I am not.
Rory: You were happy before. (they walk into the hall)
[Cut To: Independence Inn, hallway]
Lorelai: I'm still happy.
Rory: Nu-uh.
Lorelai: You know how you can feel great one night and all the world's nice? (RORY smiles and nods)And then you wake up the next morning with the worst hangover?
Rory: The what?
Lorelai: Uh, never mind. It's...no, never mind.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, room 15]
Rory: Brought my book.
Lorelai: Good, good.
Rory: So now I'm gonna read it.
Lorelai: Good plan.
Rory: (reading)The Secret of the Old Clock. Chapter one. The Ressyou. (LORELAI smiles)Nancy Drew, an at-ra-ca-tive girl of eighteen, was driving home along a country road...
[Cut To: Independence Inn, room 23, LORELAI uses the key and walks in, and is surprised to see JOSH coming out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. She jumps back, screams and closes the door]
Rory: What, Mommy? (referring to the book)It's not scary.
Lorelai: Ah, we're going to come back to this room.
Josh: (from inside)It's okay, come in.
Lorelai: Are you decent?
Josh: I wasn't indecent. (she opens the door and walks in)Hi.
Lorelai: You get dressed fast.
Josh: Well, screaming tends to speed a person up.
Lorelai: Oh, sorry, yeah, that was-
Rory: Mr. Josh.
Josh: Hey, Rory.
Lorelai: Strangely enough, we've never had someone in the room when we come.
Josh: So, you're a maid?
Lorelai: No, I'm not. I'm actually a brain surgeon, but they were short a maid so I volunteered.
Rory: (whispering)She's lying.
Josh: I know she is. And isn't that awful?
Rory: Yes.
Josh: You should show her how to tell the truth. So answer my question. Is she a maid?
Rory: Yes.
Josh: Okay. (to LORELAI)I'm sorry, you failed the lie detector test.
Lorelai: Yes, well, she has yet to develop my wit.
Josh: Whatcha got there, Rory?
Rory: Book.
Josh: (smiling at LORELAI)I see that. What book?
Rory: Secret of the Old Clock.
Josh: Can I see?
Rory: (reluctantly handing it over)Don't lose the page.
Josh: I won't. Ah, Nancy Drew. Did your mom buy this for you?
Rory: No, she had it.
Josh: (looking at LORELAI, smiling)She had it, because she bought it for you?
Rory: No. (JOSH laughs)
Lorelai: Oh, shut up.
Josh: (giving the book back to RORY, teasing)No, it's nice.
Lorelai: I don't need this.
Josh: No, Nancy Drew is very sophisticated. (after a pause)How many have you read?
Lorelai: Josh-
Josh: How many?
Lorelai: (sighing)All of them.
Josh: Wow. That's very impressive. You a member of the fan club?
Lorelai: You know, I have to go.
Josh: Just answer.
Lorelai: Bye-bye, Josh.
Josh: Come on.
Lorelai: Say bye, Rory.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: Bye.
Josh: (as they leave)Were you president?
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby, RORY walks up to the front desk]
Rory: Can I have the phone, please?
Mia: Yes, ma'am. Here you go. (she hands RORY the phone)
Rory: Thank you. (she walks back over to the couch, where LORELAI is waiting)Here. (she gives LORELAI the phone)
Lorelai: Okay, rules.
Rory: Rules?
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: No hanging up.
Lorelai: Okay, well, that'll be number one. Number two: no telling addresses, phone numbers, or any kind of location.
Rory: Okay.
Lorelai: Three: if she wants to take you away, give me the phone back.
Rory: But-
Lorelai: Even if she just mentions it. And last: we're not saying that Chris is here.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Because, okay? Just because.
Rory: And no hanging up.
Lorelai: That's rule one. (RORY gives her an expectant look)Fine, it's rule one and rule four.
Rory: Ready?
Lorelai: Yes. (she dials)Mom?
Emily: (phone)Lorelai?
Lorelai: No, it's the other girl who calls you 'mom.'
Emily: (phone)Are you ready to come home?
Lorelai: (sighing)No, we're not...we're not coming there. This is home. Look, I'm not having this discussion every week.
Emily: (phone)Is that when you're calling? Every week?
Lorelai: Yes, every Wednesday. I told you.
Emily: (phone)No, you didn't.
Lorelai: I did, too.
Emily: (phone)No.
Lorelai: Yes.
Emily: (phone)No.
Lorelai: So anyway. How's the...uh...the DAR?
Emily: (phone)The what?
Lorelai: The DAR? I know you know it.
Emily: (phone)Well, it's...fine.
Lorelai: Good, then.
Emily: (phone)Why would you ask something like that?
Lorelai: (she sees JOSH walk out of the kitchen and sit on the chair next to them. He starts making funny faces at RORY, and she laughs. He turns and smiles at LORELAI)I'm interested.
Emily: (phone)Is that Rory laughing?
Lorelai: Yup.
Emily: (phone)She sounds happy.
Lorelai: She is happy, Mom. We both are.
Emily: (phone)I'm glad.
Lorelai: Um, is Dad there?
[Cut To: Gilmore House, EMILY is sitting at a desk and RICHARD is on the couch in front of her, reading the paper]
Emily: No, he's not. He's off with Dennis at the office. Working late.
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby]
Lorelai: (obviously disappointed)Oh, okay.
Josh: (concerned)You okay? (LORELAI puts her hand on her mouth, telling him to be quiet)
Emily: (phone)Who is that?
Lorelai: Who?
Emily: (phone)I don't know, but I'd like to.
Lorelai: I don't know who you mean.
Emily: (phone)The voice, Lorelai. I distinctly heard a male voice.
Lorelai: Oh, who, oh, oh, yeah, there's some guy up at the desk. He's yelling. (looking at JOSH)Kinda crazy, if you ask me.
Emily: (phone)A desk? What desk?
Lorelai: The reception desk.
Emily: (phone)Like the one at a hotel?
Lorelai: No, like the one at the inn. Where I work. Where I...am.
Emily: (phone)You work at an inn?
Lorelai: I told you that.
Emily: (phone)No, you didn't.
Lorelai: Hey, look, here's Rory. Talk to Rory. (she hands RORY the phone)
Rory: Hi, Gramma! Yeah, I'm fine. I started a new book, I can read it. It's about a clock. I don't know, it's a secret. We're okay, promise. Granpa's gone? Oh. It's okay. Yes, we're okay. Yes. No, Mommy says I can't say the number. Nope. What kind of doll? (LORELAI takes the phone, and can hear EMILY)
Emily: (phone)...brown hair like yours. And she'll have lots and lots of dresses and hats and bags. So what do you say?
Lorelai: (imitating a child's voice)I say...(regular voice)stop trying to bribe my kid.
Emily: (phone)I wasn't.
Lorelai: Oh, please, Mom. You've been caught, okay?
Emily: (phone)Are you going to hang up on me again?
Lorelai: I should, but no. Don't do it again. (she hands the phone back to RORY)
Rory: Hi again. Now, what kind of doll? (LORELAI shakes her head)Never mind.
Lorelai: (to JOSH)What are you doing, sticking around after your shift?
Josh: Well, believe it or not, I wasn't just taking a shower in a random room. I'm staying here.
Lorelai: Oh, of course. So, how come?
Josh: My parents kicked me out.
Lorelai: Aww, Josh.
Josh: It's okay, it's nice here. Good people.
Lorelai: What'd you do?
Josh: Nothing.
Lorelai: Nothing?
Josh: That's right, nothing. No college plans, no apartment, no "real job."
Lorelai: You've got a real job.
Josh: Oh, I'm sorry, you haven't met my father. There are three real jobs. The military, law and medicine.
Lorelai: Huh. And I'm guessing you're not looking to be in any of those fields, are you?
Josh: No, I am not.
Lorelai: Hence the kicking out.
Josh: Exactly.
Lorelai: Well how are you? Doing okay?
Josh: Sure, I'm good. The, uh, the housekeeping's a little rude, but other than that, all is well.
Lorelai: I didn't know you were there.
Josh: That's why you knock and say (in a high-pitched voice)"housekeeping."
Lorelai: I do not sound like that.
Josh: Well, still.
Lorelai: Sorry.
Josh: It's okay.
Lorelai: So, back to the kick-out.
Josh: Uh-huh, re-open the wounds.
Lorelai: You're just going to live here forever?
Josh: Are you?
Lorelai: What?
Josh: I've seen you go to the shed. You live there, right?
Lorelai: Ah...(she laughs nervously)no.
Josh: I won't say anything.
Lorelai: I'm...we're...not.
Josh: It's okay.
Lorelai: We're not!
Josh: (knowing she's lying)Okay, I was wrong. Sorry. (they are silent)
Rory: Luke is nice and we have lots of strawberries. Yeah, he lets me call him Luke. He said so. He did! Yes. Yes! Okay. And Miss Patty's having a dance. I don't know. She talks a lot. Lots and lots. We're going. Miss Mia, too. I guess she's married. Maybe she has kids. I don't know, she's real old. Sorry, Gramma. Sorry.
Lorelai: Time to get off, babe.
Rory: Mommy says I gotta say bye. Bye. (she hangs up and gives the phone to LORELAI)
[Cut To: Gilmore House, EMILY gets up and sits on the couch across from RICHARD. He doesn't look up]
Emily: Well, that was Lorelai.
Richard: I gathered as much.
Emily: She asked for you.
Richard: (uninterested)Did she?
Emily: I said that you were at the office.
Richard: You didn't have to lie.
Emily: (angrily)Yes, I did! Put down the paper! (he does)Your daughter wanted to talk to you and I had to lie and cover up for you.
Richard: You certainly had no obligation to do so.
Emily: Yes, I did.
Richard: To whom?
Emily: To our daughter! Richard, all she wanted to do was talk to you.
Richard: Perhaps I could, were she upstairs in her room.
Emily: We're going to have to get used to this. She's in her new home.
Richard: And yet you still ask if she'll return?
Emily: I'll always ask.
Richard: And I'll always wait for her to come home. That doesn't mean that I need to encourage this.
Emily: Don't be silly.
Richard: I am not being silly. She takes Rory, moves away, gets a job, a new home, a new life, and I don't talk to her, so I'm the bad one?
Emily: Yes! We're the parents, we're supposed to rise above this.
Richard: She is a parent, Emily! That's the point! She's a parent, and she lives like a child. She leaves on a whim-at least she remembered Rory-
Emily: No.
Richard: Excuse me?
Emily: No, you will not say that. Lorelai may not have the life we had wanted for her. She may not have taken the path we would have set for her, or the amended one we made. But that girl, that woman, she is a wonderful mother to her little girl. She cares for her, and she loves her more than she does herself. So don't you dare even say that she's anything less. (EMILY gets up and walks up the stairs)
[Cut To: Independence Inn, lobby]
Lorelai: (walking up to the desk to return the phone with RORY)So, Duke's?
Rory: Yeah! Lemme get my book. (they walk over to the couch, where JOSH is still sitting)
Lorelai: You wanna come, too, Josh?
Josh: Where?
Lorelai: Duke's.
Rory: Luke's. (JOSH still looks confused)
Lorelai: (shocked)The place of the hamburger.
Rory: The stawberries.
Lorelai: The coffee.
Rory: The soda.
Lorelai: The coffee.
Rory: Whipped cream.
Lorelai: Duke's, Josh. It's like...a restaurant. Food.
Josh: Actually, I know what it is. But watching that was fun.
Lorelai: Oh, you suck.
[Cut To: Luke's Diner, LORELAI, RORY and JOSH sit at a table]
Luke: (surprised to see someone with them)Coffee guy.
Lorelai: Oh, don't be silly, Duke. You're the coffee guy.
Luke: No, he came in and ordered like four cups. He said the coffee at the inn was bad.
Lorelai: No, I think that was me.
Luke: No...
Josh: (faking shock)You said the coffee was bad?
Lorelai: You said it was?
Josh: You thought it was?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Josh: Well, me too!
Lorelai: If you knew it was bad, why did you keep making it?
Josh: Because it's my job. If you knew it was bad, why did you keep drinking it?
Lorelai: Because it sustains life.
Josh: (to LUKE)So I'm thinking we'll have two coffees.
Lorelai: Yeah, and I'll have two, also. (JOSH laughs)And a hamburger, fries, onion rings for me.
Rory: Burger for me, too. Wait, grilled cheese. No, burger. No. Both?
Luke: How about a cheeseburger?
Rory: 'Kay.
Luke: (to JOSH)You?
Josh: Uh, I'll just share.
Lorelai: With who?
Josh: You're not going to eat all that.
Lorelai: I'm pretty sure we will. And more. (to LUKE)Pie?
Luke: We're out.
Lorelai: No, you aren't.
Luke: Yes, we are.
Lorelai: (lying)Okay, forget the pie, then.
Josh: And I'll have...tuna salad sandwich.
Luke: Comin' up. (he walks away)
Lorelai: No pie. Who does he think he's dealing with? (to a passing waiter)Hey, kid.
Waiter: Yeah?
Lorelai: What's your name?
Waiter: Vinnie.
Lorelai: Hey, Vinnie, what kind of pie do you have today?
Vinnie: Apple and cherry.
Lorelai: Thank you, Vinnie. You are an awesome person.
Vinnie: Uh...thanks. (he walks away)
Lorelai: I'll be back. (she walks up to the counter, where LUKE is trying to ignore TAYLOR, who is taking off all of the hamburger toppings that he ordered)Hey.
Luke: Hey.
Lorelai: Apple and cherry.
Luke: Blueberry and orange.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: I don't know, what are we talking about?
Lorelai: Oh, I think you know. (LUKE doesn't answer)The pie. Apple. Cherry.
Luke: Fine, you caught me.
Lorelai: Was there ever any doubt? (LUKE rolls his eyes and goes into the back)
Taylor: Lorelai.
Lorelai: StalkerMan.
Taylor: I do not like that nickname.
Lorelai: Life's hard like that.
Taylor: I just wanted to bring it to your attention that you have seemed to dodge every bill here at Luke's.
Lorelai: What?
Taylor: I am informed that this is referred to as a "dine-and-dash," and it is unacceptable.
Lorelai: I'm not dashing.
Taylor: So it's as I thought. You've got a thing with Luke.
Lorelai: A thing?
Taylor: Some sort of agreement?
Lorelai: Uh, yeah. He gives me food, I eat it. It's been working.
Taylor: You're going to need to start paying, or Luke will be fined.
Lorelai: Well I don't want that. (LUKE comes out of the kitchen)Hey, Duke?
Luke: Uh-huh?
Lorelai: Listen, I've been informed (she looks at TAYLOR)that I've got a bill. And, you know, I'll pay you off.
Luke: What, like the Mafia?
Lorelai: No. Mafia offs you.
Luke: Oh.
Lorelai: So, yeah, I'll pay tomorrow.
Luke: No, you don't need to.
Lorelai: Of course I do.
Luke: No, see- (he looks at TAYLOR)Here, come here.
[Cut To: Luke's Diner, storage room]
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Look, I know you don't have a lot of money. You don't need to-
Lorelai: Wait, you "know?" How might you know that?
Luke: I heard, once, at the inn...
Lorelai: Were you spying on me?
Luke: Of course not. I was there to drop off Rory's book, and I heard you and Mia.
Lorelai: I can't believe you!
Luke: Don't take this the wrong way.
Lorelai: Which way is that? 'Cause the way I'm seeing it is pity. You giving me pity.
Luke: I'm not. I'm just helping out.
Lorelai: No, you aren't. I don't need your pity!
Luke: I know you don't.
Lorelai: So don't give me any!
Luke: I'm not!
Lorelai: (sighing)Duke, don't make me get mad at you, you've got the good coffee.
Luke: You don't need to pay. You don't even-
Lorelai: -eat that much? You know we do.
Luke: Well, yeah. You do.
Lorelai: I'm paying you.
Luke: Okay, how about this? Don't pay for what's added up, and you can pay from now on. Deal?
Lorelai: (smiling)Yes. Deal.
Luke: Good. (LORELAI goes to walk out)Wait.
Lorelai: Huh?
Luke: That kid...
Lorelai: Josh.
Luke: Josh. You seeing him?
Lorelai: (smiling)No. Why?
Luke: Just wondering. So...you're not?
Lorelai: Nope.
Luke: But you are...with Chris, right?
Lorelai: (sighing)No. And I don't want to talk about him.
Luke: Sorry.
Lorelai: It's okay. So, is that it?
Luke: Yup. That's all I needed to know.
