Nauseated, Sarah dropped to her knees and attempted to gather what she could of Didymus into her arms. The small fox had been trapped under a tree as it fell, and only his head and the left side of his torso were visible. He blinked up at her, his eye dulled with pain, and attempted a small smile.
"Oh, Didymus," she whispered, her voice shaking. "Hold on. We'll move the tree and get you out of here, okay? Just hold on!"
"Sarah?" Her head snapped around. Hoggle was standing a few feet away, his eyes darting nervously between her and the tree. "How can we move that?"
"We just can, okay?" she snapped. Even as she spoke, though, she was aware that he was right. This tree hadn't been just some sapling; it had been large, and it had been heavy. It would take more than one woman and one goblin to move it off of Didymus. Feeling utterly helpless, she looked down at Didymus, whose head was resting on her lap.
"My lady," he whispered, bringing his left hand up to rest weakly on top of hers, "it...was...an...honor..."
And then he died. There was nothing poetic, or beautiful, or even surprising about it. He simply sighed a little, and then he wasn't there anymore. There was only the shell that had once been Didymus.
"Oh, no," Sarah whispered around the lump in her throat. "Oh, no, no, no..." Behind her, Hoggle put a comforting hand on her shoulder, his head bowed in sorrow. For a moment, Sarah was silent, rocking back and forth, still holding on to Didymus' limp form. He felt so light...
She threw back her head and screamed her anger to the sky. It felt good. It felt really good. She was vaguely aware of Hoggle shying away from her, but that didn't matter. She had to scream, and to keep screaming, until her horror and her sadness drained away with her voice. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair! How could this happen? How? He had been fine, and then he was gone, and it just wasn't fair!
"Ah, god," Sarah wept. "This can't be real!" Her tears fell onto Didymus' face and slowly rolled down to land on the ground. Suddenly, the horror of holding a dead creature in her arms dawned on her, and she instinctively attempted to scramble away.
As she pulled back, her hand caught on Didymus' eye patch, which went tumbling off into a nearby bracken. Like a frightened child, she hid her face in her hands, not wanting to see what was beneath the eye patch. Her labored breathing sounded loudly in her ears.
Slowly, through her tears and hiccupping, she became aware that Hoggle was saying something and patting her on the shoulder.
"It's okay, little lady," he said softly, his voice hoarse, "you can look."
Peeking through her fingers and loose wisps of hair, she blinked away enough tears to look clearly at Didymus' peaceful face. She gasped. Though she had been expecting to see at best a bloody, oozing empty socket, all she saw was another eye, perfectly serviceable, and in every way identical to Didymus' other eye.
"Why?" she asked. It was the only word she could manage to choke out, but Hoggle understood.
"He thought it made him look dashing," Hoggle said sadly.
A giggle escaped through her sobs. That was Didymus, all right, who would do anything to be taken seriously. Though she wasn't sure why, she found the image of Didymus, who could see perfectly well, putting on an eye patch and preening to be hilarious. As she cried, her laughter continued to grow until she grabbed her sides, gasping for air. With Hoggle looking on in amazement, Sarah collapsed to the ground, rolling back and forth, giggling, with tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Uh, Sarah?" he asked slowly. "Are you...okay?"
"No!" she gasped out, still sobbing. "I'm...not!"
It seemed to take forever, but eventually, Sarah's hysterics subsided to quiet sobs, then to hiccups. Finally, she lay still against the large trunk, totally drained of all emotion except a bone-deep sadness.
"Hoggle?" she asked softly. "What's happening here?"
"What?" he asked. He sounded as exhausted as she felt.
She waved a limp hand at the destruction around them. "This. And the fire in Goblin City. What's happening?"
"You."
Sarah stared, her eyes flying wide open. That voice wasn't Hoggle's. Unfortunately, she knew exactly whose it was, and he was the last person she wanted to see right now.
"Go away, Jareth," she said wearily, not even bothering to look at him.
"Like hell I will!" he snapped, stomping into her line of vision so she had to look at him.
He looked furious. That, in and of itself, caught Sarah's tired eyes. She had never seen this expression on his face before. She had seen seduction, frustration, annoyance, even candor, but this was something entirely new. This was sheer, white-hot fury that rolled off him in waves that were almost tangible. The air around him seemed to crackle with his anger. Staring at him, Sarah truly believed for the first time that this man could kill without a second thought.
For a moment, she could think of nothing to say. Her mind was still far too filled with Ambrosius and Didymus to remember why Jareth would be angry with her. Come to think of it, she could barely remember why she was even really here.
"L—look," she stammered, "I'm sorry that I left the castle after—"
"After what?" he yelled angrily. "After you gave me your word not to? After you broke your binding vow?"
"I'm—I'm sorry," she said raggedly.
Jareth threw his arms in the air furiously. "Sorry? You run around my realm, murdering and destroying at will, and all you can think to say is sorry?" He started pacing back and forth, his mouth pursed in disapproval.
Sarah's mouth dropped open. "But I—I didn't—"
He scoffed loudly. "So bloody rational, aren't you? So goddamned grown-up and perfect." Pausing in front of her, he slammed his hands against the bark on either side of her head and thrust his face towards hers. Though she tried to look stoic, she couldn't help wincing. "You think," he said, his voice deadly calm and quiet, "that you haven't killed someone unless you've taken the knife and stabbed it right into their heart, twisting and seeing blood flow." One hand detached from the bark to grip her chin and turned her to face Didymus' broken body. "But I can assure you that he is dead because of you. As are several others."
"How can that be?" she whispered, tears flooding her eyes anew as she looked at Didymus. How could it be? Didymus had been her friend. She would never hurt him.
Jareth sighed in irritation. "You never bloody listen to anyone, do you? Your presence in my Labyrinth has done…this." He waved his free hand at the destruction around them, the other hand still gripping her chin tightly enough that she was sure it would leave bruises. "You're so logical that you cause chaos here. The fire? Your fault. The wind that destroyed the junk mountains? Your fault. This? Your fault."
Sarah's eyes widened in horror. "I…I didn't mean…"
He released her chin and wiped his hand on his pants, as though he'd touched something foul. "Of course you didn't mean to. You're a bloody selfless woman." He snorted to show her what he thought of that. "However, you still did, even after I warned you in the most serious terms I could use. I stand by what I said earlier. You don't belong here."
"Fine." She dragged her hand across her eyes roughly, feeling as though she were suddenly very old. "Fine. So…" She exhaled loudly. "So maybe I…don't belong here." Admitting that took more out of her than she would have thought possibly, but she doggedly continued. "What are you going to do with me? Are you going to lock me up?"
"The thought appeals," Jareth replied shortly. "And I fully intend to deal with you shortly. However, first…" He looked away from her and said in an imperious voice, "You! Hogwort! Just where do you think you're going?"
Sarah followed the direction of his gaze to find a guilt-ridden Hoggle attempting to sneak away into the undergrowth. "Hoggle!" she exclaimed, surprised that he would be deserting her now, of all times. "Where – What are you…" Sarah trailed off as a sudden, horrific idea occurred to her. "Oh no," she gasped. "You didn't. You didn't."
"He did," Jareth confirmed, his voice cold and flinty. "He knew. You knew, didn't you, you little toad?" he continued, switching his attention to the wincing Hoggle. "You knew what removing her from my castle would do. You knew perfectly well what would happen. And yet you chose to spit upon your kind and destroy us all."
Hoggle linked his hands behind his back and twisted his foot against the ground in a manner so human that Jareth managed to look even more disgusted than before. "Wasn't that exactly. You didn't have no right to keep her there. She didn't want to stay."
Jareth strode over to Hoggle in a few quick steps and hoisted the smaller goblin off of the ground by his collar. "She gave me a binding oath that she would stay. And she, as she is so intent on reminding us, is an adult, capable of making her own decisions." He tossed a glance at Sarah that was so contemptuous that she felt as though she were shriveling up to nothing right in front of him. "But you, Hoghead…" He abruptly dropped Hoggle, as if the mere touch made Jareth feel dirty. "Tell me. It wasn't really because of her, was it? Was it?"
Under Jareth's withering gaze, Hoggle too seemed to shrink. "It wasn't fair. I – we got to be important when she was here. And then she disappeared and left us with nothing."
"Nothing? Nothing, tra-la-la?" Jareth snapped, setting off a small wave of déjà vu in Sarah. "You had as much as you had before she came. No, more. You had your memories."
"And what good did those memories do?" Hoggle said loudly, looking directly at Jareth for the first time. "They made us sad because she was the only interesting thing that ever happened to us. When she left and stopped calling us, we didn't have no reason left to live! What good's an eternity when you don't got nothing to look forward to?" He crossed his stubby arms.
"So," Jareth said in a quiet voice that was almost more terrifying than his yelling, "you decided that because you personally had nothing left, none of us should exist. Is that it?"
Sarah, who had remained silent during this short exchange, could no longer remain silent. "H—Hoggle?" she managed to choke out. "Is he right?" Hoggle didn't speak, but his sullen look at the ground was as much of an answer as any number of words could have been. "Oh, Hoggle. You… Didymus…" She shook her head, unable to speak any more.
"He would've thanked me," Hoggle replied sullenly. "If he'd known, he would've. You saw him, little lady. He had nothing left. Not even Ambrosius."
"…And Ludo?" Sarah asked. "If we'd made it that far, would the same thing have happened?" Again, there was no answer but for that which was shining in his eyes. "I can't believe this," she breathed. "You wanted to kill your old friends?"
"That ain't it!" Hoggle exclaimed. "But – Sarah – I can't bear to watch 'em die bit by bit every year. Better all at once."
She couldn't look at him anymore. It hurt too much. Staring at the ground, she whispered, "You used me to kill them," and shook her head.
Above her, Jareth's disdainful voice spoke up again. "Are you both quite satisfied now? Or do you hunger for more?"
"That's not fair," Sarah replied, hating the note of pleading in her voice. "You think I wanted this to happen?"
"Of course it's not fair, you silly, stupid girl." Jareth pressed his lips together firmly for a moment. "But the fact remains that you broke your promise."
Lost in her misery, Sarah looked up directly at him. She could never know the effect that she had on him in that moment. With her eyes nearly black with sadness, tear-streaked skin, and her hair hanging loose around her face, she looked so like the girl who had captured his attention that, for a moment, he nearly forgave her. However, his mercurial mind quickly reminded him of her treachery. She had dared to grow up, and in so doing, had nearly destroyed everything he held dear. The momentary softness gone, he hardened his heart again.
"So I broke my promise," Sarah said dully. "Do what you will to me. It doesn't really matter."
Jareth crouched down in front of her, taking his eyes away from hers only to shoot Hoggle a glance that would have frozen him in his tracks even if he had been trying to escape again. "It doesn't matter?" he repeated softly. "I think we both know that's not true. You can lie to yourself, Sarah, but you cannot lie to me. I do not envy you. Your punishment would be harsh already, but I'm afraid that your guilt is not enough. Not for this." He lowered his voice even further. "I thought I must let you stay because I thought the Labyrinth had some purpose in bringing you here, but it appears I was wrong. If the Labyrinth had any purpose in bringing you here, your actions have cancelled it out. I hope you enjoyed having a brother, Sarah. In the end, good memories are all we have."
Before Sarah had a chance to ask him what he meant by his cryptic words, he waved one of his hands almost casually in the air and the world went dark for an instant.
There was no feeling of traveling, or of being in any sort of transitory state. It was simply as though she blinked. As her lids swept downwards, they covered Jareth's face with darkness, and as the light came back, she found herself in her room at home, quite alone.
She stood up with a gasp. Though a portion of her wanted to sit there and tremble like a frightened child, Sarah knew that she had no time for any of that. She was out of the Labyrinth, and only one thing mattered.
"T—Toby?" she called out. "Toby?" Still swaying slightly on her feet, Sarah threw open her door and hurried down the hall to her room. She was too focused upon her goal to notice the slight incongruities in the house. If she'd lingered a bit longer, she might have noticed that all of the pictures of Toby had vanished into thin air, and the tell-tale traces of a pre-pubescent boy's presence in the house had likewise gone. If she'd lingered, perhaps she wouldn't have been so surprised when she threw open the door to his bedroom.
Because there was nothing in his bedroom.
She clutched the doorframe, her knuckles whitening within seconds.
Now Jareth's final words made sense: "I hope you enjoyed having a brother, Sarah."
"No," she whispered. Then louder, "No. Please, no…"
It changed nothing. Toby didn't appear and grin at her. How could he, after all? He was just gone, as though he had never existed. "In the end, all we have are good memories."
Jareth's sardonic voice echoing in her head, Sarah sank to the floor and gazed, blank-eyed, upon the empty room which had once belonged to her brother.
Author's Note: Right. I, apparently, am a big fat liar. I cannot be trusted to update, because as soon as I finish one chapter, I completely forget that I'm expected to write another. Well. Here's hoping that enough people beat me over the head with sticks to keep me writing.
