Disclaimer: I do not hold any rights to Inuyasha in any form or way, nor do I make any profit out of writing this fic.

Reviews: As always, thank you everyone who decided to expend time on reviewing, especially those who expended a lot of it! I love reviews! –-has no shame— Particular 'woot!' to Frenchiegirl who submitted the 100th review:D

And since some issues recurred in many of the reviews, I set out (with great personal pleasure and total lack of self-restraint as always) to reply to those in one go.

First of all, on my continuing battles with my writing abilities (the score is around 100:0...). What I meant in talking about dissatisfaction with my writing style was not so much the style itself, i.e. the sentence patterns or modifiers used (although that could use great improvements too), but rather my abilities (or lack of thereof) to structure events properly. That being – how to make drama dramatic, angst angsty, romance romantic and humor humorous. It's not enough to just describe things as they go in my head, since for a right effect everything needs a proper build-up, context and structuring. Probably every writer has stumbled over this basic problem of being unable to read one's own creation 'afresh', without knowing where it's going, and thus being unable to see how it can be perceived by a reader. But to offer an example of what I mean (a simple one I'm actually beginning to grasp) – how to insert descriptions of visual content, that is descriptions of places and characters' appearances. Some descriptions are necessary, simply to fuel the reader's imagination, but too much is basically boring and usually drags. Personally, I find that I often skip lengthy descriptions, especially whole paragraphs devoted to nothing more but a description, without any humor, merit or meta-comments inserted into it. So instead I believe it's better to insert a simple sentence here and there and then build on it with casual modifiers. A reader's imagination is a very fertile gizmo, it can create a whole scene on the basis of just, for example 'brightly-lit corridor', without needing 'the corridor was long and narrow, winding along plentiful rooms like a snake through grass yada yada', or something. Unless a lengthy, or just detailed, description is useful for setting a mood or for action details, it's pretty much redundant. And too many of them usually make me yawn halfway through a story, only the most apt ones hold my attention for longer. Although naturally, it is very tempting to describe everything in detail, simply because probably all writers would like the readers to see what they see in their minds, but creative writing doesn't work that way, I find. It's impossible to make a person imagine the exact same thing you're imagining, it's only possible to give them pointers towards the general mood or setting.

But anyway, making 'angst angsty' and so on is a much more complicated issue. It's not enough to just say 'she was aching to the very core of her being'. Sure, this way the reader will know that she was, but won't feel for her. And my, somewhat pretentious, ambition is to make the readers feel for and with the characters. But to do that it's necessary to immerse the reader in a situation that would make them 'ache' too, and unfortunately, it's not simple at all, I find. Same with humor (and I have a rather 'dry' sense of humor, I have been told often) – most humor is based on contrasts, for example between what the readers would expect on the basis of what they know of the world and how it works (their 'ideal cognitive models' to use some linguistics terminology) and what is said or done in the story. But such a transgression against what is expected cannot be too striking, because the reader is too 'Eh?' to laugh, nor too subtle, because then it can drown in the action around it. So again, not easy at all. And sadly, although I have sat through many (obligatory) courses on literature and literary criticism, I have absolutely zero experience with creative writing, so I'm only learning those things now as I go along. Therefore, there's hope for improvement, but in the meantime, it's very frustrating to have something funny, cute or angsty in my head (I actually laugh at my own jokes, as sad as it is...) and find myself unable to convey it to the readers as aptly as I'd like to. Well, maybe someday.

On to a less personal topic – oakzap425 asked if Inuyasha-tachi will ever return to the story and as Sexysaxist mentioned some readers have missed them, so once more I set out to elaborate ;) As I have mentioned once before, this fic in humongous in size, it comprises of something like 5 parts (of varying length) and currently I'm on part 2. The story of Inuyasha-tachi will only be revealed in parts 4 and 5, which also happen to be my favorite parts since in them most of the issues that are gathering between the characters and in the plot will be finally resolved. Even Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru will have some 'brotherly moments', although not in the style of 'Oh brother how can I make it up to thee?' (...). I know that the removal of Inuyasha-tachi may seem as nothing more than an empty plot device, and it actually is a lot of a plot device, but it all started from my reading another fic and getting thus inspired. Only after that I found how useful the idea could be, for many various reasons. But it is – I hope – well justified by the plot and the like, so things will hopefully become clear in time. Unfortunately, since the fic is so long (it was supposed to be less wordy in my mind), there are many times when I insert a foreshadowing too early or at an irrelevant moment, for example the mention of Usumaru in Chapter 5 was too early, since the story will only be exposed within the next two or three chapters. So I think that once I'm done with the fic (it doesn't have any definite ending at this point though) I will rewrite it to be more coherent. But in the meantime, it means that there are many moments when things may make little sense, so do not hesitate to point it out to me!

Review replies: Since I have yet again taken up so much space (sic!) at the beginning, the personal replies to reviews are once more at the end of the chapter.

Note: This chapter is mostly Rin-centered and I intended to actually include the whole year of her stay in Urabe. But once I reached 20 000 words and still had a lot to insert, I decided to divide it after all, to avoid cutting out too much. What got already cut out, was for example an explanation of what Taisatou was doing with Shuukatsu on Okinawa, also because it made more sense in relation to the 'Men's talk' from Jiyuu na Kaze (to be reused here later on ;)). However, I did not feel like cutting out for example the Sumisawa family, because they grew on me a lot and it was also a practice in how to present OC's to the fullest while using just one or two paragraphs.

And I know that some readers were expecting a lot of cultural shock, but in the end I decided to focus mostly on 'feminine' issues, thus preparing the ground for the romance to follow. However, I tried to keep it concise, especially Kagerou's explanations, so I can only hope it still makes sense... Moreover, D-chan3 wished to see Rin being rejected by humans, but it would defy the main point of her being there, that is her maturation. The only thing she could learn by being rejected would be a confirmation that humans are 'bad', and as dramatic as that could be, it would not add anything to her character. On which I rant some more in the General notes ;)

And great thanks to anyone who had actually read through the whole junk above, hahaha!

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Language notes:

Liuhua – here Chinese female name meaning something like 'pretty flower';

geta – Japanese 'clogs' – a platform sole propped up by two wood pieces running across the bottom of the sole; very useful for all the rainy seasons and generally for not getting one's feet wet or dirty. I don't think that high-born women were supposed to wear them, although it's very likely, but I used it anyway.

tabi and zori – as mentioned before in Chapter 6, tabi are the Japanese socks and zori (or zouri) – the Japanese sandals.

taisho – leader, chief

Hime-sama – princess-sama ;)

tennyo – a heavenly maiden; known to Inuyasha fans from Movie 2;

otera – Buddhist temple;

omusubi – rice ball;

ryouriya – restaurant, literally 'dish shop'. What I had in mind was one of those places that are often shown in Inuyasha, for example in Episode 16 when Miroku goes to check out the girl with soft skin and large eyes ;) I'm not sure if 'ryouriya' is the right term for it, since there are quite a few Japanese words for 'restaurant' and I have no idea about the subtle distinctions between them, so if anyone does have an idea about it, please let me know!

izakaya – Japanese 'pub', meaning a place that serves cheap food and alcohol;

ofuroya – a public bathhouse. As seen from the three last terms, most shop names in Japanese end in 'ya', and practically anything can be made into a name of a shop this way, just take the item name and add 'ya'. Very efficient!

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Cultural notes

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Position of women in Sengoku Jidai: Well, it was pretty much the same as in feudal Europe, so an 'ouch'. I tried to stick to all factual information I could find on the issue, but since I couldn't find everything I wanted to know, I had to embellish some, cough. Since describing the whole thing here would take up a lot of space, below is a link to a decent article on the matter:

www. gamingw. net /articles /102

It's a gaming site, but the article is good nevertheless ;) I would like to only mention here something that is mentioned both in the chapter and in the article – that in Buddhism a woman had to be first reincarnated as a man to enter paradise. This is not true for all Buddhist sects and subgroups, but there were some that did hold such believes.

Bathing: As mentioned before a few times, the bathing culture in Japan is – and much more so was – very different than what we, as Westerners, are used to. Not only a tub was used for soaking in, not washing oneself in, and the actual wash-off was to be done outside, but also the shame of nudity aspect was practically non-existent. As described in the phenomenal article I linked to in Chapter 9 (for Rin's menstrual issues), before the 20th century the Japanese didn't have any inhibitions in regard to nudity – it was an everyday thing and thus in a public bathhouse men and women bathed together, without any divisions or problems. This led to hilarious issues towards the end of the 19th century, when Japan was 'catching up' with the Western civilization, and a lot of Westerners were coming to Japan. Naturally, for a Westerner from that time (still very Victorian), it was quite a shock and a serious offense against morality (although many Western men visited public bathhouses nevertheless, ehm). Thus, they often perceived the Japanese as barbaric and primitive because of it. And since at the time the Japanese government wanted to build a strong and 'respectable' nation, they introduced regulations against women and men bathing together and ordered public bathhouses to introduce separate sections for each gender. Naturally, not every bathhouse could afford it, so some devised an ingenious method of just dividing the bathing area with a piece of string. Thus, the letter of the law was upheld and morality was saved ;)

Of course, to a modern Japanese person, just like to a modern Westerner, this would be pretty much unthinkable to do, which is why, I believe, most 'historical' anime and manga, such as Inuyasha or Rurouni Kenshin, downplay that aspect of history and have their protagonists behave in the way a modern person would (notice though that Inuyasha seems to experience no inhibitions about his nudity, like when he enters Kagome's room without any clothes on after an attempt of a bath with Souta). And for the same reasons I tried to do the similar, that is include some factuality about the matter, while at the same time trying to avoid anything that would be too bizarre and what would detract from the 'romantic' aspects of the story. (On that note, although today nudity is commonly perceived as erotic, in Sengoku Jidai it was clothing, not nudity, that was considered erotic, as strange as it seems.) So although I tried to retain the appeal of nudity for Rin and Sesshoumaru, there are also some more historically accurate mentions in the fic, such as that Kagerou and Shuukatsu bathe together without any qualms about it, or that in the bathhouse Rin visits in this chapter, there are some men as well, although not explicitly mentioned. And of course, that is why Rin and Sae often bathe together (like Kagome and Sango) and why Shippou bathes with whomever he sees fit ;)

Lastly, although a 'public bathhouse' is often associated with 'brothel' and although there were actually some bathhouses with 'extra services', the vast majority were just bathhouses for bathing proper, without any hidden subtexts. As to how a public bathhouse looks like, those who have read or seen Ranma will probably know – it has a large tub or two (often the size of a small pool) and a lot of room around it for washing oneself before entering the tub. Moreover, since the Japanese always appreciated such 'naked companionship' (an actual term from a Japanese site, again, without any subtexts...), bathhouses were often used as meeting places, to be visited in large groups. Nowadays, most modern houses have private bathrooms, be it Japanese or Western styled, so public bathhouses are less popular. However, many Japanese miss the 'naked companionship' in the seclusion of their home bathrooms, so public bathhouses are still quite widespread and can be easily found pretty much everywhere throughout Japan.

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Chapter 12

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The people in Urabe were no longer that afraid of Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin noted as they walked through the town's streets. She could still remember that the last time they were here, people kept pointing to them, seemingly afraid. This time they were also getting a lot of attention, people kept looking at them and moved out of their way just like before, yes, but in a different fashion, somehow respectfully.

But, she thought, smiling lightly and glancing to Sesshoumaru-sama as he was walking beside her, she could understand why. Sae-sama told her that the daimyou's who used to claim ownership over the lands demanded high payments from the nearby villages, but everything changed when Sesshoumaru-sama disposed of them, because he refused to accept any kind of offerings from the humans. So right now the villages only had to pay minor taxes to Moshimune-dono, who was effectively governing the lands. And apparently, as Sae-sama had told her, this caused everyone to hold Sesshoumaru-sama in high regard.

She waved to various people, pleased that they weren't scared, although they still seemed to be keeping their distance. But soon they reached the tono and she remembered with full clarity the exact reason why they were here. This was where she would be staying for the whole of the next year, she thought, glancing around as they passed through the gates and walked on through the external courtyard. Well, she had to admit it was indeed a very pretty place, just like she had remembered it to be. It seemed somehow more intricate and elaborate than the shiro, especially the garden that she could see to the side, behind some minor buildings.

They stopped near the main entrance, and soon Moshimune-dono came out to greet them. She couldn't remember him all that clearly, but he seemed just as he used to be, only older and somehow less nervous.

"This is Rin," Sesshoumaru-sama said and she had a vague feeling he had said the same thing back then, "you will treat her as your own daughter for as long as she desires."

Moshimune-dono beheld them silently, feeling somewhat surprised. He had heard many stories about both Sesshoumaru-sama and Rin, the human girl that lived among the youkai, but he had not seen Sesshoumaru-sama ever since he had seen him first. Which only served to enhance the precarious feel of his own position. He acted as the lord of the lands, yes, he dealt with every and any official matter that required attention, be it signing travel permissions, regulating trade with outside lands, passing on judgments both on criminal offences and local conflicts, or attending official festivals and religious ceremonies. But he, like probably everyone else in the lands, had always been aware that in reality they lived on youkai lands.

It was not that it was a disadvantage, however, quite to the contrary. Sesshoumaru-sama was an almost ideal noble to have as one's superior – he protected the lands from any menacing youkai, and often also bandits, while not demanding any kind of payment for it and not interfering in the lives of the people in the lands in any way. And even though two years prior there had been a few attacks on humans by the black inu-youkai, it seemed to have stopped quickly and only minor youkai occasionally caused trouble now. But... Moshimune-dono always felt that Sesshoumaru-sama's reasons were not necessarily the same as his honorable father's used to be, and thus he never felt fully secure in his position. And, he added pensively, shifting his eyes to the girl of whom he had heard much gossip, her presence with Sesshoumaru-sama, and his current request, did little to clear away the confusion.

"Naturally," he replied, breaking his short reverie, and complying, of course, since he didn't have a choice to begin with, "it will be a great pleasure."

Sesshoumaru nodded to himself, satisfied with the proper answer.

"Should you not desire to stay here permanently," he said, shifting his attention to Rin, "come to the edge of the forest in a year."

Rin glanced up to Sesshoumaru-sama, slightly surprised that he would not be coming for her here.

"Un," she agreed nevertheless, and he turned to leave.

Watching him walk away towards the gates, Rin felt with sudden clarity that this was the last she would see of Sesshoumaru-sama for a whole year. For the whole of twelve months. It had been decided, yes, but...

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she called out and he turned his head back to her slightly, pausing, "... don't forget."

He didn't reply, just walked away, but she somehow knew he wouldn't forget. Sesshoumaru-sama did not forget and always kept his word, she felt, watching his white form disappear from her sight. Somehow reassured and ready to face that whole year, she glanced to Moshimune-dono and smiled a bit sheepishly, not really sure what she was supposed to do now.

"You have met Haruko before, I believe," Moshimune-dono said invitingly, leading her inside.

"Un," she confirmed, looking around the spacious halls and ornate rooms. She had been here before, yes, but she could remember the tono only vaguely, and was curious to have a look around it again. And to see Haruko-chan, whom she could also remember only vaguely. If she was to stay here for twelve months, she should make the best of it, she resolved, looking around some more.

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Haruko-chan had grown quite a lot, Rin found when Moshimune-dono had a servant take her to see Haruko-hime. She was now sixteen, soon to be married, as Rin learnt when they were getting to know each other anew. She seemed nice, she was all polite and somehow delicate, so Rin was having a nice time talking to her. But, she noted, observing the petite and pretty young girl carefully, Haruko-chan seemed somehow... shy and as if unsure whether it was alright to ask about what she seemed to want to know – about Sesshoumaru-sama and the youkai in general. Rin couldn't see why she would hesitate to ask about it, after all, she herself was curious to learn more about Moshimune-dono and life here. So she took up the subject on her own, which Haruko-chan seemed to appreciate. They conversed thus for some time, in the large spacious room overlooking a pond, until they were interrupted by Fujita-sama, who came into the room with another lady trailing behind her.

Fujita-sama looked very graceful and elegant, and seemed just as nice as Rin remembered her to be.

"Do you find everything to your liking?" she asked, in a gentle and soft voice, and Rin nodded, smiling. She was indeed finding everything to her liking. True, it's not like she wanted to be here to begin with, but Haruko-chan seemed to be a nice companion so far.

Poor child, Fujita thought, watching the girl before her. She had often wondered about the fate of the cheerful little girl who had come to see the festival years before, especially when she would hear rumors of 'the youkai girl' being spotted somewhere in the forest, in the company of a fox and a dragon. It wasn't good for a human girl to live with the youkai like that. Yes, here humans lived in peace with youkai, minus a few minor incidents, and in fact, they were indebted to the youkai for the peace their presence and sovereignty offered, but...

Fujita sighed inwardly, taking in the details of the girl. She was dressed only in one-layer summer yukata, was barefoot, her hair was unbound and unruly and her manners clearly said that she had not been raised to be a lady. The flute stuck casually behind her plain sash did not improve the image of a somewhat wild child either.

But, Fujita thought, it seemed that Sesshoumaru-sama was just as aware of the impropriety of Rin's situation and desired her to receive proper education. And if she was to stay with them, and be treated like their own daughter, as her husband has informed her, it would be her responsibility as a mother to provide her with the necessary education and instruction. She was not entirely sure what Rin's relation to Sesshoumaru-sama was exactly, but the simple fact that she was a ward of his could easily provide her with great marriage opportunities. The Western Lands were not too valuable in general; the terrain was hilly and thus farming was difficult, only Urabe and the villages along the coastline were more prosperous, due to the vicinity of the sea and the abundance of fish. But because of the sovereignty of the youkai, the lands were peaceful and no expenses had to be made on wars, which was an exceptional and extremely advantageous effect. Many young lords in the neighboring lands would undoubtedly be eager to take up an occasion to form an alliance with the powerful youkai daimyou. So if the girl presented herself properly, her prospects could be quite bright.

But, Fujita sighed again when Rin openly laughed out loud – while sitting only partially on her feet! – it could prove to be quite a challenge to teach her the proper way of a lady.

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The life in the tono, Rin established quickly, was quite different from the life in the shiro. First of all, there were a lot of servants everywhere, and she found it quite odd to have everything done for her. True, there were many people in the shiro too who were Sesshoumaru-sama's subordinates, in a way, but they were not servants as such, only members of the pack. The closest she had ever known to a servant was Jaken, but he served Sesshoumaru-sama, not her. She found it strange now that not only she would have everything done for her, but that actually, she was not supposed to do things on her own, at least not some things. She was also not supposed to thank the servants, as Fujita-sama had told her.

She had also been told that she was not supposed to wander around the tono as she pleased, but only stay in the part where Haruko-chan and Fujita-sama resided. She too was assigned a large spacious room there, even larger than her room in the shiro. It had a main room and an inner bedroom, and a very strange bed – a futon with thin and fluttering curtains around it. It could be an interesting experience to sleep there, she anticipated, but when she was left alone in the room for the night, it turned out that the experience did not make up for being all alone in the dark and empty room. She couldn't really even remember a time when she would sleep alone, other than sleeping on Sesshoumaru-sama's futon when he was not in his room, but even then she never really felt alone.

And now, lying under the soft covers, surrounded by the elegant curtains and the darkness, she found she did not like the feeling at all. She was a supporter of 'joyful skinship', as Shuukatsu-sama once described it, when Kagerou-sama told her that he had a dangerous habit of latching onto the closest thing in his sleep. Kagerou-sama illustrated the dangers of such a habit by telling her how once, the two of them and Touga-sama were journeying together and Touga-sama made the grave mistake of sleeping too close to Shuukatsu-sama. Thus, when the dawn came, Shuukatsu-sama was latched onto him firmly, muttering sleepily 'Oh, you feel so good, Liuhua'. It took half of the morning, Kagerou-sama told her, for Shuukatsu-sama to come to, after Touga-sama flung him across the clearing and through many trees.

Touga, Shuukatsu-sama stated indignantly then, simply didn't appreciate the concept of joyful skinship. But, Rin sighed, nestling herself under the covers, she happened to appreciate it, and at the current moment was missing the said skinship of a warm kitsune who would often slap her across the face as he twisted and turned in his sleep, and the general companionship of her other roommates.

She finally managed to fall asleep by imagining herself to be home, at the shiro. But when the morning came, she learnt that there were many other things she would have to get used to. She was woken up by the sounds of Fujita-sama entering her room, in the company of many servants who were carrying lots of cloth.

The folds and folds of cloth, she found soon, were her new clothes. Just like the ones that Haruko-chan or Fujita-sama herself were wearing. They were indeed very pretty and made her think of a book about the life at the court she had read once. She couldn't really understand all of the book, especially why the people in it acted the way they did, but had found the idea of being all ladylike and pretty to be quite interesting. So she didn't object when Fujita-sama had the servants dress her. But when the layers of clothing kept coming and coming, she discovered that pretty as such clothing was, it was also horribly heavy and uncomfortable.

It wasn't all however. Once she was dressed, Fujita-sama told her that her hair would be done now and Rin was soon being groomed. It was another strange thing to have done to her, since everybody she knew kept their hair natural, without any ornaments or special styles. Not that it was surprising, as she had learnt long ago when Sesshoumaru-sama had cut off his hair, youkai couldn't cut off their hair permanently, its length and shape were invariable features of their human appearance. She kept her own hair shorter, since it was simply more practical, and Sae-sama actually envied her for being able to do so.

But she found now that it was not a good thing to do, to keep her hair only long enough to reach some past her shoulders. Fujita-sama kept sighing and shaking her head at how short and unruly her hair was. A lady should have smooth and long hair, she said. But her hair wasn't all that unruly! True, there were many strands of it that always kept sticking out at odd angles, but even Sesshoumaru-sama had shorter strands of hair around his face!

Fujita-sama would have none of it, however, and only urged the servants to make more of an effort. Rin scrounged her face in slight confusion. What exactly was the point of all those things...? It didn't seem appropriate for her to object though, since Fujita-sama seemed so sure of what she was doing. But when her hair was done and the time came for her to slip on geta – something she had never worn before and now found to be quite uncomfortable and wobbly – she decided to clarify her doubts.

"But why do I have to wear them?" she asked Fujita-sama tentatively, "And why should my hair be smooth and long...?"

Fujita-sama sighed again. "A lady should present herself appropriately. Being barefoot and dressed only in a yukata is quite unseemly."

Alright, Rin could understand that. But... "I'm not a lady," she informed Fujita-sama, since it seemed that Fujita-sama didn't know.

"But you ought to be," Fujita-sama replied patiently. "You are the ward of Sesshoumaru-sama and you should do your best to represent him appropriately."

"Represent...?" Rin questioned, unsure what exactly it was supposed to mean.

"A lady should not only obey the wishes of her father, husband or son, but also represent her household accordingly and conduct herself appropriately."

Rin was trying to digest the information, but Fujita-sama wasn't finished yet. "Surely," she added, "you do not wish to dishonor Sesshoumaru-sama?"

No, Rin was quite sure she did not wish to dishonor Sesshoumaru-sama. So as she was practicing how to walk in those new clothes and shoes, following Fujita-sama's instructions, she pondered the matter carefully. She had never thought about it like that before, never thought that her behavior was in any way important to Sesshoumaru-sama. Sure, she knew to not disturb him when he was for example talking with Satoshi-sama, and to do what he told her to, especially when it involved her safety, but... she had never considered that what she said or did in any way influenced what other people thought of Sesshoumaru-sama.

She had never even thought of herself as Sesshoumaru-sama's 'ward', she had never really put her relation to Sesshoumaru-sama into any context, she just... was there, with him. Just like he was always there, just... Sesshoumaru-sama. He was always there for her, whatever was the problem. True, he was very much not a talkative person, and he did not appreciate joyful skinship – perhaps he inherited the trait from Touga-sama, she wondered idly on the side – but it didn't matter. He always protected her, provided for her and cared for her. She didn't even need to think back to that time when she fell off the cliff and Sesshoumaru-sama was angry with her to know that he did. It had been quite silly of her to have ever even doubted it back then, although it felt really nice to have been reassured about it, just like it felt nice when Sesshoumaru-sama would for example tell her to put her tabi on. She had gotten used to wearing tabi and zori, of course, but it was still much less comfortable than wearing nothing, so she would always try to postpone the moment of having to don her winter clothes. Sae-sama would always chastise her for it, and she would pretend not to hear, in what had become a kind of a game for them. But when Sesshoumaru-sama would glance to her feet and then just say 'Put your tabi and zori on, Rin', she would do it at once, and it felt somehow nice to do it because he told her so. It felt nice enough to make her sometimes purposefully go barefoot to his room, just so that he would tell her to put them on again.

"You need to take smaller steps," Fujita-sama's instructive voice reached her and she was brought back to the reality around her. No, she decided firmly, making her steps smaller, she most certainly did not wish to dishonor Sesshoumaru-sama. And if representing him appropriately meant that she should wear those clothes and geta, and generally do the things that a lady should do, then she would gladly do them.

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However, Rin soon discovered that there were a lot of things that a lady should – and shouldn't – do, and pondered the matter one afternoon in her room, watching the outside scenery from behind the ornate bamboo blinds.

Apparently, a lady should be properly attired at all times, should walk in small steps, should eat in small bites, should cover her mouth when she laughed – actually, a lady should not laugh out loud, she had been told, only smile, and then cover her mouth with either her hand or her fan. She should also keep her eyes lowered, should not interrupt, should not be loud, should not contradict, should be polite, should be obedient, should be pleasing to the eye and entertaining when so requested.

Those however, Rin added, frowning slightly, were only the general pointers. Each and every thing a lady should and shouldn't do, should or shouldn't be done in the correct manner, involving a lot of complex actions that made little sense to her. And a lady should also know a lot of things, like calligraphy, assisting in a tea ceremony or playing the shamisen or the koto. The flute did not gain enough of Kyumitsu-san's approval to be allowed.

Taking a few small and shuffling steps, Rin moved towards the small table in her quarters. She still wasn't all that good at walking properly, not only in those clothes, but in general, as Kyumitsu-san kept telling her. And Kyumitsu-san should probably know, since she was a very learned woman, who had taught Haruko-chan all she needed to know and who had even been trained in proper conduct at court, as she had been told. Kyumitsu-san had been very much dissatisfied with her manners, and had been very strict on her, when she and Fujita-sama would instruct her on how a lady should act.

Sighing, Rin carefully lowered herself into a sitting position at the table, mindful to keep her feet underneath her in the correct way. So many of the things that she was supposed to do or not do made little sense to her. She just couldn't see the connection between conducting oneself properly and covering her mouth when she laughed... smiled. After all, everybody laughed, even Sesshoumaru-sama! And why was it that she needed to keep her eyes lowered...? Didn't it just make her likely to bump into something...? Although, she sighed wryly, considering the slow speed with which she was supposed to walk – never run, which was nearly impossible in those clothes to begin with – she would never bump into anything anyway.

And it had also begun troubling her lately why did Sesshoumaru-sama make her come here. Of course, she knew he thought that humans and youkai lived in different worlds, and that thus, he was trying to provide her with what he thought was right for her. But... she never wanted to come here, she never wanted to live with humans. She had thought that Sesshoumaru-sama simply didn't understand that, or thought that she would change her mind if she tried it but... recently, it occurred to her that maybe, Sesshoumaru-sama sent her here so that she would learn how to act appropriately, because she had been dishonoring him...

The thought first occurred to her when she had asked whether she could possibly not wear so many layers of clothing. It was warm alright, despite the nearly winter weather, but it was too warm, and too constricting and too uncomfortable.

"My dear," Fujita-sama looked at her in surprise then, "do you want to look like a crude village girl? I'm sure Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't have wished it so."

The words had closed Rin's mouth and made her rethink the reasons why she was in Urabe. Perhaps, she had considered slowly then, Sesshoumaru-sama too thought her to be a 'crude village girl' and was ashamed of having her around...? Perhaps he wanted her to become a proper lady, whether she was to stay here or come back...? That sudden thought remained stuck in her mind, making her blush in embarrassment whenever she thought that she had been dishonoring Sesshoumaru-sama, and she doubled her efforts to do everything as a lady ought to.

And as days and weeks passed by she became much better at it. She could walk properly now, talk properly, eat properly, she kept her eyes low and her voice gentle and remembered to cover her mouth when smiling. Also playing the koto and assisting in a tea ceremony became much easier for her, even though there were still many details that kept escaping her grasp. But she found a technique that not only made her as calm and centered as she was supposed to be while practicing those things, but also filled her with contentment. Whenever she was doing some repetitive practice, she would imagine being back at the shiro, with Sesshoumaru-sama; going for walk with him, watching the stars when he was nearby, reading in his room. Those thoughts always made her feel nice and warm and urged her even more to do everything to please Sesshoumaru-sama.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Yet when almost three months of her stay had passed, and winter was giving way to spring, her faith in what was appropriate and what was not began wavering.

It all started during one of visits of Haruko-chan's friends. Haruko-chan's friends were a few girls from the samurai families who lived near the tono, and they would come over occasionally. At first Rin found those visits – in which she was to participate too – slightly awkward. The girls kept watching her very intently, and, just like Haruko-chan, seemed very interested in hearing about Sesshoumaru-sama, but were shy to ask about it directly. Which was the right kind of behavior, she had been told, because it was impolite for a young lady to be curious. But in time they became accustomed to each other, and she also found that when Fujita-sama would leave them on their own, they would become much more open and talkative, chatting animatedly.

The most frequent topic of such chats was marriage, be it the upcoming marriage of Haruko-chan or of some other of the girls. She found the subject to be quite interesting, since she had never really given much thought to marriage. Of course, she knew what it was, and that it was an everyday human practice. Even some youkai married, or rather mated for life, since youkai generally didn't perform any elaborate matrimonial ceremonies, like the humans did. But... she had never really thought of marriage in relation to herself. Even when she would go to watch Hiroshi, or whom she had forgotten somewhat, as she discovered, and would daydream about him, her thoughts had never really traveled past a talk or a kiss...

But now, as she listened to the girls talk so excitedly about marriage, it seemed to her that it was a very important thing to them. She wasn't entirely sure why, after all, neither Sae-sama nor Kagerou-sama were 'married', although, naturally, Kagerou-sama used to be mated to Taisatou-sama, Sae-sama's father, who had died when Sae-sama was still a little child. But now neither had a mate and they seemed perfectly happy with that. So she had asked the girls once why was marriage so important.

They looked at her in surprise for a few moments, before one of them, Naoko, replied.

"If a girl doesn't marry," she exclaimed, in a somehow 'it's obvious' voice, "she has to join an amadera!"

Rin knew what an amadera was, it was a Buddhist nunnery. But... why would a girl have to join it...? The girls continued talking about it, about how awful it would be to have to join an amadera, and thus she soon learnt why. It seemed that a girl either had to marry, or join an amadera, there was rarely a third option. It didn't make all that much sense to her, but there were many things that humans did that confused her, so she took their word for it. And, she had to admit, it really would be nice to have somebody to like, a husband, maybe.

But she was yet to learn the strangest thing about marriage. The girls often talked about Jiro-sama, Haruko-chan's husband-to-be. She heard that although he was only a second son of the Yamada clan, it was still a great honor for Haruko-chan, because the Yamada clan were descendants of the Fujiwara clan, and thus Haruko-chan's sons would also be descendants of the ancient and honorable clan. Curious to learn more about the whole idea of marriage and being in love in general, she asked Haruko-chan what kind of a person he was, and why she liked him.

"I am yet to meet Jiro-sama in person," Haruko-chan replied timidly and Rin blinked in confusion.

"But if you haven't met him," she began tentatively, unsure whether she hadn't missed something, "then how come you are to marry him..?"

It was the girls' turn to blink and Rin instantly felt that she had asked about something silly and obvious.

"My honorable father had chosen Jiro-sama for me to marry, years ago," Haruko-chan answered at length.

Rin felt even more confused. "But... how can you marry him if you don't know him...? If you don't know whether you like him?"

More blinking followed. "I trust that my father has chosen well for me."

Well, yes, Rin thought against her confusion, probably, Moshimune-dono seemed trustworthy, of course, but... She just couldn't understand how come Haruko-chan could marry somebody she had never met before. Yet it seemed that the girls didn't see anything strange about it, so she decided against asking any more questions, feeling that she was acting inappropriately as it was.

But the issue kept bothering her as the day carried on, and she kept pondering it on the side. It did seem nice to marry, especially considering how excited and gripped by the prospect the girls were. But... wasn't it about liking somebody...? Wasn't liking somebody and wanting to be with somebody the main reason for marrying...? It kept bothering her enough to make her ask Fujita-sama about it, when the evening came.

"The duty of a lady in marriage is to bring honor to her family," Fujita-sama told her when she asked why people married, "and it's the obligation of the father to choose the right husband for his daughter."

'Honor', Rin considered, dimly thinking of how the girls said that marrying Jiro-sama would be an honor for Haruko-chan.

"But," she asked again, still confused, "isn't marriage about liking somebody...?"

She realized at once that she must've said something silly again, because Kyumitsu-san, who was also in the room, looked at her as if she said that sun rose in the west.

"Personal happiness," Fujita-sama replied, with an odd look in her eyes, "always must give precedence to honor and duty."

It didn't explain much either, and Rin felt still confused and disoriented. But she didn't ask more, somehow feeling that she ought to know such things. Yet it wouldn't stop playing on her mind ever since then and she kept paying rapt attention to all conversations about marriage. And as another month had passed, the image became much clearer in her mind. A girl, or rather a lady, ought to marry. Not just anyone, however, but an appropriate man, from an appropriate family, whom her father would chose for her. If she preferred not to marry, she was expected to join an amadera. If she did marry, she was expected to honor and obey her husband, just like she had honored and obeyed her father, and deliver sons for her husband.

She could understand the concept of honor and duty, of course, but it still seemed... strange to her that one was supposed to marry – and thus also do that – with somebody they had never met. It just... didn't seem right to her, it was pointless and just... not right.

And even if the girl liked the man her father had chosen for her – why was she to honor and obey him...? And why would it be a dishonor if she didn't like the man and refused...? Wasn't it important to her father – and why only father? – that she was happy rather than that she was obedient...? Why was it so important to be obedient to begin with...? She had never been told to be obedient as such, sure, she did obey when Sesshoumaru-sama or others told her to do or not to do something, but it wasn't because it was her duty, but mostly because she trusted they knew better than her, being older and more experienced. Yet, nobody ever told her to just... be quiet and obey. Except Jaken, but she had learnt long ago not to take what he said too seriously, he always had some peculiar ideas that often got him in trouble with Sesshoumaru-sama.

So she kept watching the life around her even more attentively, trying to find some answers to her questions. Yet what she realized one day a few weeks later, during another visit of Haruko-chan's friends, made her only even more confused, stupefied actually. They were talking about marriage again and suddenly various bits of what they were saying linked together in Rin's mind. 'I hope father will allow...' said one of them, 'I fear that after we're married, Umito-san won't let me...'. said another, and Rin stared at them in abrupt realization, feeling various pieces of what she had been told, of how a lady should act, various pieces that seemed odd and bizarre to her, link together to form a coherent, underlying picture. It was a daughter that was to obey her father, a wife that was to obey her husband, a mother that was to obey her son. A woman that was to obey a man.

They kept chatting and talking, laughing and smiling, and Rin's head was heavy under the onslaught of her newly found knowledge. Everything made sense now, starting from having to keep her eyes lowered to marrying a man your father chose for you. Only that it didn't make any sense at all. Why, she wondered, frowning in incredulity, why should a woman obey a man...? She could understand why a daughter would obey her father, or rather respect his wishes – it was good to respect you elders in general, they knew more, have lived longer and experienced more, so chances were, they knew better than you, especially if they happened to be youkai who had lived for centuries. But... why should a wife obey her husband...? Why did humans believe it so...?

She blinked suddenly, astonished by another thought. Was it only humans who believed it so...? Or did youkai too thought women to be somehow... worse than men...? No, she countered at once, she had lived all her life among the youkai and had never heard any such notions. But, the back of her head replied, Shippou-chan for example would sometimes say that he 'was a warrior who would protect girls in trouble'. He often said so when they would get in trouble together, but she never really paid any attention to it, since she indeed required protection, lots of it actually, simply because she was a weak human. But Shippou-chan himself required protection too, and so did Jaken, and she was quite sure they were not females.

No, she decided firmly, it was not so among the youkai, just like it was not so that a girl either had to marry or join an amadera. But her mind countered at once with an assembly of facts she knew about the Western Lands. Sesshoumaru-sama was now the taisho of the white inu-youkai, before it was Touga-sama, Hourou-sama was the taisho of the black inu-youkai, Kisho-sama was the taisho of the grey inu-youkai, and all happened to be men. And Shuukatsu-sama, who was also something of a hanshu in the Western Lands, was a man too. And so was Satoshi-sama, Sesshoumaru-sama's in a way assistant, who dealt with most issues related to the pack. All men.

And, she blinked again, too preoccupied in her thoughts to even notice that Haruko-chan was talking to her, if Sesshoumaru-sama sent her here so that she would become a lady, as Fujita-sama told her, didn't he too think that she ought to be an obedient woman...? After all, as she had just found, that was one of the prerequisites for being a lady... So maybe Sesshoumaru-sama too thought that females were somehow worse than males... Maybe she had just never really paid attention to it before...

Her head filled with confusion, spurred by all the 'maybe's and 'why's, and laden by all the questions and unknown answers. It stayed with her as the days and weeks carried on, and she constantly dangled between what seemed right to her and what seemed right to everybody else. And it didn't help at all that soon after that, during one of the general lessons with Kyumitsu-san, she had learn that a woman cannot reach paradise unless she is first reincarnated as a man.

Thinking about Sesshoumaru-sama no longer helped her get through her days, not at all, it only filled her head with questions. Why did Sesshoumaru-sama send her here...? Did he really think that she had been dishonoring him? Did he think her crude because she had not been acting like a lady? Did he think her worse because she was a female? Was she worse...?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The thoughts kept troubling her and she constantly felt confused about what was right and wrong, about how things ought to be, and how she would like them to be. Yet one thing was clear in her mind – she had no desire to stay with the humans, to live like she was living now. It didn't matter whether the youkai too thought women to be worse, whether they expected their daughters to obey and mate complete strangers. Even if, she'd rather have to be obedient there than here.

The greater was her astonishment when one late spring morning, Fujita-sama approached her while she was practicing playing the koto with Kyumitsu-san.

"I have great news for you, my dear," she said, sitting down next to them. "Yesterday, Nishizawa Natsuo from the north asked Moshimune-dono for your hand in marriage!"

Rin blinked, unsure if she heard right. What...? Who...? Frowning, she did recall some man called Nishizawa Natsuo who had visited Moshimune-dono a few times, but... she didn't even know him!

"Oh," Kyumitsu-san exclaimed, "Marrying into the Nishizawa clan, such honor!"

Rin looked between the two of them, blinking again.

"I can only hope that Moshimune-dono has agreed," Kyumitsu-san added, bowing to Fujita-sama slightly.

"He has indeed," Fujita-sama confirmed promptly, "he was quite pleased about it."

They continued talking about all the details, about when the engagement would be announced and when and where the marriage ceremony would be held. Rin stared at them in shock, unable to collect her thoughts that were scattered all over her mind, unable to think of anything coherent. But as they talked and talked, even about children, one thought overrode all others and she expressed it through the numbness of her mouth.

"But I don't want to marry him! I don't want to stay with humans, I want to go back to Sesshoumaru-sama!"

They turned to her abruptly, visibly taken aback by her outburst. Fujita-sama was the first one to collect herself and regarded her blandly. "Natsuo-sama has left yesterday already to ask for Sesshoumaru-sama's consent, and I'm quite certain that he will obtain it."

Rin felt her mouth open in shock. Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't just make her marry! He had promised her that she could go back to the shiro after a year here!

Fujita-sama rose to her feet and added even more to her confusion. "Unless you want to dishonor Sesshoumaru-sama with your disobedience, you ought to weigh your words more carefully." She left them after that, in a shuffle of small elegant steps, leaving Rin to stare after her with eyes wide with incredulity. That's right, she realized, if Sesshoumaru-sama gave his consent and she objected, she would dishonor him!

Kyumitsu-san cleared her throat loudly, signaling that she should return to her practice. Rin reached out to pluck at the strings numbly, too gripped by her stunned thoughts to pay attention to what she was really doing. She didn't want to marry some stranger! She didn't want to live like that! She wanted to go home!

But, she thought in sudden panic, if Sesshoumaru-sama agreed, if he wanted her to marry that Natsuo-sama, would he expect her to obey...? To just say 'it will be an honor', which, as she had been told, was what the girl was supposed to say...? No! No, she countered at once, Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't! He wouldn't just... give her away like that! Like... like a thing!

Yet as she kept playing the koto, botching every other sound and making Kyumitsu-san constantly click her tongue in disapproval, her own doubts came back to her to taunt her, to add even more to the sudden stuffiness of the room. Maybe she was supposed to just obey, maybe it was the right thing to do, no matter how wrong it seemed to her...?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"You're not gonna believe it guys!" Shippou's excited and amazed voice tore through the sleepiness of the warm midday in the shiro as he burst into the room where Sae, Shuukatsu and Kagerou were.

"Believe what?" Sae prompted him invitingly.

Shippou didn't have to be asked twice. "Some guy just came over to ask Sesshoumaru to marry Rin!"

Sae and Kagerou stared at him quizzically in silence, somewhat bewildered by the concept of somebody wanting Sesshoumaru to marry Rin, and Shuukatsu plucked away the book that had been lying lazily on his face while he had been pondering its contents and looked to the kitsune just as pensively. "You might want to elaborate on that."

"What he's trying to say," Myouga spoke up puffingly from Shippou's shoulder, to which he had been clinging during their dash through the shiro, "is that Nishizawa Natsuo from the north had come to ask for Sesshoumaru-sama's consent to his plans of marrying Rin."

"Exactly!" Shippou nodded heartily, "And he's gonna talk to Sesshoumaru now, so come on! Lets' go!"

He dashed out of the room again, and Myouga's four tiny hands flapped about wildly before he caught onto the kitsune's clothes, muttering something about needless rush. Casting each other curious glances, the other three followed after them.

Sesshoumaru silently regarded the young human male before him. He was aware who the man was, albeit vaguely. Nishizawa's ruled the lands to the north of the Western Lands, yes, but there were many human daimyou's in the area and they came and went too quickly for him to remember them all. Not to mention that he never felt inclined to remember them to begin with.

Frowning slightly, he considered what he had just heard. The man attempted to make some polite small talk at first, but Sesshoumaru silenced him promptly with a well raised eyebrow. Apparently the human was quick on the uptake, because he wasted no more time on idle prattle and proceeded straight to the point. Which was that he desired to marry Rin and sought his consent on the matter, considering him to be her lawful guardian.

Sesshoumaru frowned again, untroubled by the fact that he was making the man wait in silence. That was what he had been expecting to happen, and it was the best way for Rin to rejoin her kind, yes, but... His frown deepened. It had been over five months already since he had deposited Rin in Urabe, and ever since then he kept feeling as if he had misplaced something. When he would be in his room and the sound of footsteps would reach his ears, the back of his mind kept expecting Rin to open the door and pester him with something he didn't care about. And when he would go out for a simple walk, he often caught himself absentmindedly glancing to his side, surprised to find nothing there. It was an irksome sensation, one similar to what he experienced whenever he would fail to grasp some important thought, or would forget to do something he was supposed to do, neither of which happened to him often.

But, he countered the annoying sensation, Rin had been around for over ten years. It was only to be expected that it would take some time for his mind to get used to the change and abandon its old habits.

"If she desires to marry you... " he told the man finally, pausing slightly when his thoughts unexpectedly flared with an image of brightly shining brown eyes, "... I see no reason why I should object to it."

The young Nishizawa bowed in reply, expressing his gratitude for the consent, and quickly left on his way, to return once the matter was fully settled, confirming Sesshoumaru's assessment of his intellectual capabilities. For a human, the man didn't seem too stupid, and thus he was satisfied with Rin's choice. She should be happy if she married him, he decided, frowning irritably when the image of her brown and bright eyes flickered in his mind again.

Outside the room, five shadows – one particularly tiny – tiptoed away from the wall they had been eavesdropping through.

"You guys think she's really gonna marry him...?" Shippou asked his companions when they had crept away far enough. It had never really occurred to him that Rin might not come back from Urabe. He was not entirely sure why she had gone there to begin with, but always assumed that she'd be back soon and everything would be like it was before.

But if she married that Nishizawa guy... He bit on his lip pensively, unsure what to think about it. And glancing up to the three youkai's before him, he found that they didn't seem all that sure about it either. Neither replied; Sae looked away with a slight frown and Kagerou and Shuukatsu only exchanged odd glances.

Well, he sighed finally, he'll have to wait and see for himself.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ever since the morning, when she had heard that Natsuo-sama had asked to marry her, the hours blurred for Rin. Her head kept spinning and all the questions that had been troubling her lately only intensified in her mind, almost deafening her to the outside world. One thing stood most prominent among her thoughts and she kept returning to it over and over again – what if Sesshoumaru-sama wanted her to marry that man, the man she didn't know at all, let alone liked...? What if he really did expect her to be obedient and docile...? What if he thought she didn't have a right to object...?

And whenever she would reach that point, something would twitch inside of her unpleasantly, accusingly. Sesshoumaru-sama never asked her if she wanted to come here, she just told her to... She had thought that he simply believed that it would've been best for her and didn't understand that she didn't want to, but... what if he just wanted her to and she was supposed to obey...?

But... but he wouldn't break his promise, would he...? She was sure that he would always keep his word, that she could trust him...

Yet the doubts just wouldn't go away, wouldn't leave her alone. And the dour feeling that began clouding the image of Sesshoumaru-sama in her mind when she had first encountered such doubts only intensified, making her anxious and uneasy instead of warm and content whenever her thoughts returned to him.

When the afternoon came she found herself in the room overlooking the pond and the panorama of the town, with Haruko-chan and her friends. They kept squealing and chirping, obviously delighted with the prospect of another marriage, congratulating her on such a good match. They were just as sure as Fujita-sama that Sesshoumaru-sama would consider Natsuo-sama the right husband for her and that she would have to agree...

She was supposed to smile and thank them, she knew that, but it seemed too ridiculous, too preposterous for her to do it. Moving to sit next to the edge of the room, she focused on the view of the town instead of on their words. Town she had not even seen properly yet, she added waywardly, because 'it was unseemly for a young lady to wander around the town'.

She kept feeling as if she was standing over the edge of a cliff, about to fall from it, and there was nothing to help her, nobody to prevent her from falling. Up till then, whenever she was in danger all she had to do was shout 'Sesshoumaru-sama' and she would be safe almost at once. But this time, she thought in constricted apprehension, the bitter feeling inside of her intensifying even more, no help was coming...

And yet the moment she thought so, hope appeared on the horizon, or rather on the bridge that linked the two sides of the town. Right there, right then, as if brought in an act of divine intervention, Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama came onto the bridge. Something warm spread rapidly inside of her, all over, something warm and hopeful. They looked so familiar, so known, so... home, and her head was instantly filled with images of warm evenings in the sun room, of Kagerou-sama bringing her a Kemari ball, smiling, of Shuukatsu-sama making silly jokes and being defeated in shogi, of home.

She got up half-consciously, oblivious to the odd looks she was getting from the girls behind her, feeling that they would know, they would know what to do, they would know all that she wanted to know, they would make things right. And then she was racing through the corridors and walkways, colliding with people, tripping on her clothes, ignoring some distant cries of Kyumitsu-san who was scuttling after her. It didn't matter, it didn't matter at all!

She raced even faster and in no time burst out of the tono onto the external courtyard, where she had to stop, wheezing from having run in her lady clothes. But it was alright, she could already see Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama, they were walking up from the gates, untroubled by the guards who only kept staring at them with strangely stunned and staggered eyes. She waited for them, feeling herself smiling broadly despite being out of breath.

"Rin-sama!" Kyumitsu-san's reproachful voice reached her from behind, chasing away her smile, and she spun around to the woman, who seemed to her like a reminded of the bare reality. Her mind swirled with questions and doubts again and she stared idly at Kyumitsu-san's reproachful expression. Kyumitsu-san began saying something, scolding her for running like that, but her voice suddenly trailed off and her eyes rose towards something behind Rin.

Rin turned around again to find Shuukatsu-sama and Kagerou-sama right behind her, and to see one of the oddest things. Shuukatsu-sama was regarding Kyumitsu-san coldly, with a raised eyebrow, in a perfect replica of the look she had seen Sesshoumaru-sama fix people with a hundred times. She stared at him in amazement, thoroughly bewildered to see Sesshoumaru-sama's expression on Shuukatsu-sama's face, but soon found that despite the difference of the face that was employing the look, it was still just as effective as always. Kyumitsu-san gurgled something behind her and then scampered away.

"So," Shuukatsu-sama started casually, abandoning Sesshoumaru-sama's expression, "do you really want to marry Nishizawa Natsuo?"

"No!" Like she would even have to think about it!

Shuukatsu-sama seemed satisfied with her answer. "Good. Nasty tempers they have, the Nishizawa's."

But Rin wasn't paying attention to what kind of tempers the Nishizawa's had, being too preoccupied with the main source of her problems. "But," she began tentatively, unsure if she really wanted to know, "does Sesshoumaru-sama want me to marry him...? Does he expect me to... just obey and do it...? Would I... have to?"

"Hell no," Shuukatsu-sama started, but Kagerou-sama cut in without ceremony. "Your suitor came to the shiro today to ask for Sesshoumaru's consent, but all Sesshoumaru said was that if you desire to marry the man, he sees no reason why he should object."

A smile made its way onto Rin's face again. She knew what it meant; it meant that Sesshoumaru-sama left the decision to her! She felt that something dour and accusing that had crept into her thoughts of Sesshoumaru-sama recently peel away from his image in her mind, leaving her somehow light and warm inside. She should've never doubted Sesshoumaru-sama!

"But," Kagerou-sama added with a knowing smile, "we decided to come over and check if by any chance you haven't been made to believe that he wants you to marry the man. And that you should comply like a 'proper lady' should."

Surprised by her words, Rin glanced to her quickly, abandoning the warm thoughts of Sesshoumaru-sama. That's right, she thought, a 'proper lady' ought to just obey and comply, but... it wasn't right that she should! Even if everybody believed it, it just... wasn't right!

Remembering her questions about how it was among the youkai, she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Shuukatsu-sama, the only youkai male available at the moment. "Does Shuukatsu-sama think that women are worse than men and should obey them?" It was only after she asked the question that she realized that if he really did think so, asking so straightforwardly was probably not a very 'proper' thing to do.

But Shuukatsu-sama only blinked with a slight flicker of amusement in his eyes. "Erm... not that I know of. Do I...?" he turned to Kagerou-sama, seeking confirmation.

"The list of your vices would take days to compile," Kagerou-sama replied casually, "but this one wouldn't be on it."

Well, Rin thought, it didn't necessarily mean that other youkai didn't think like that, but Shuukatsu-sama seemed like a good representative of the class and she felt somewhat reassured. But...

"Then why do humans think like that...? Why do they think that a woman should obey a man? And be all quiet and look down?" The questions seemed to flow on their own. "And marry the man her father chose for her? Isn't marriage about liking somebody? And should 'personal happiness always give precedence to honor and duty'?"

"That," Shuukatsu-sama replied, blinking amusedly again, "is a lot of weighty questions."

But before Rin could hear any answers, Kagerou-sama said that they should find some better place for talking than the courtyard, and that the garden seemed quite inviting. So they headed there, and Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama ignored all and every odd and somehow stunned look they got from the people around. Even Moshimune-dono got sent away by a casual wave of Shuukatsu-sama's hand. He didn't seem affronted, somehow.

"First of all," Kagerou-sama began, once they sat down on the soft grass under a tree, "I think you're giving too much credit to the youkai. Most often than not youkai females are perceived as worse – or rather inferior – to the males and are expected to be obedient, although not meek."

Rin took in the information, her heart sinking a bit. "Then... does Sesshoumaru-sama think like that too?"

"It's hard to say," Kagerou-sama replied, smiling, "You see, what the majority of youkai consider to be the most important is strength and power. If a female is strong, she's just as much a 'worthy opponent' as a male, it just doesn't matter then. But the strength of the females depends on the kind of youkai, so in some kinds the females are weaker and thus 'worse'. In many actually."

"Among the inu-youkai," Kagerou-sama continued, "the females are naturally weaker. But on the other hand, it was from the mother, not father, that Touga had inherited his taiyoukai blood. She was an exception, true, but was the taisho of the pack nevertheless. So if you want to know what Sesshoumaru's opinion on the matter is, I think you would have to ask him yourself," Kagerou-sama finished with a small smile.

Perhaps she just might, Rin nodded to herself, still somewhat weighted down by what she had learnt. "But why do people think like that...? It isn't true, is it? That women are worse than men, I mean. I don't think it is, but... if everybody thinks so..."

"Not everybody thinks so," Shuukatsu-sama cut in from where he was lying on the grass next to them, "it depends on the culture. I've seen some in which the men are completely at the mercy of the women. And where I come from, females were as strong as the males and rather muscled actually, a feature of all eagles. So when I first ventured into the rest of the world and found how soft and squishy the females there were–"

"We don't want to know," Kagerou-sama cut him off flatly. Although Rin was actually curious where he was going with it.

But her thoughts soon returned to the issue at hand. It was disappointing to know that it was the same among the youkai as it was among the humans, that females were somehow inferior. True, it didn't seem to her that Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama believed it to be so, and as Shuukatsu-sama said, it might've depended on the culture, but it was nevertheless not good news overall. Still, she was just as sure as she had been, if not more, that she'd rather take it among the youkai than among the humans. That matter settled, and a resolve to find out what Sesshoumaru-sama thought on the issue in her mind, she set out to clear the rest of her doubts.

"And how is it with marriage among the youkai? With mating, I mean. Do females have to mate whomever their fathers choose for them...?"

"It depends," Kagerou-sama replied, "arranged 'marriages' are just as popular among the youkai as they are among the humans, especially among the higher level youkai, for the same reasons as it is with humans – forming alliances and strengthening one's clan. Although with the youkai it's mostly about physical strengthening, that is having strong offspring."

"So," Rin summed up gloomily, "the female is either a confirmation of an agreement or a son maker..."

"Quite often, yes," Kagerou-sama agreed with her pessimistic assessment, "but the youkai world is not as structured as the human world, so it all depends on the kind of youkai and the customs they have. Nor are the youkai so bound by morality, so casual mating, without any lasting commitment, is quite frequent."

"For pleasure...?" Rin prompted and Kagerou-sama laughed. "Yes, for physical pleasure. Take Shuu here, he flaunts himself to every single female he meets."

"So not true!" Shuukatsu-sama eyed her archly, clearly indignant over the accusation, "I do not flaunt myself to every female! ... Only to the attractive ones."

Kagerou-sama was not amused. "Which happens to be nine out of ten for you."

"And how is it my fault that there are so many attractive females in the world...?"

They continued with the verbal spar, and Rin laughed to herself, watching the scene. It was a hobby of theirs, arguing without really arguing, and it somehow made her feel warm inside again, reminding her of home and of the many times she had witnessed them brandish their verbal skills against each other. Kagerou-sama won most of the time, simply because she could hold a straight face longer, while Shuukatsu-sama would laugh and thus forfeit the match. It would probably end like that this time too, she evaluated, noticing that Shuukatsu-sama's eyes were laughing already, so it wouldn't take long now.

Giving Kagerou-sama the time to secure her victory, she considered what she had heard. Yes, it had seemed to her like that too. Not that marriage was to be about alliances and sons, hardly, but that it had nothing to do with morality. She had grasped from the conversations of Haruko-chan and her friends that to them mating, well, the physical aspects of marriage, were to be done only with one's husband, and if they had any objections to not knowing the husband beforehand, they kept them to themselves. It was difficult for her to understand how they could perceive it so, but she had however heard a conversation between two servant girls, who were talking about boys in general, and they appeared to be more focused on the pleasures of such a relationship and less concerned about 'propriety'. Which agreed more with her own opinion, since it seemed to her that what two people did with each other was their own business, and only theirs. It also seemed to her that Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama agreed with such an opinion, even if Kagerou-sama was currently mocking Shuukatsu-sama about it.

Shuukatsu-sama laughed, clearly loosing, and Kagerou-sama turned to her again. "In either case, even though you don't want to marry that Nishizawa man, I think you should carefully consider the idea of marriage in general."

Rin eyed her dubiously. "I don't think I want to marry. I don't want to stay with the humans. I want to go back to the shiro and live like before."

"You can always do that," Kagerou-sama agreed, "but remember that then you would be giving up on certain things. If you choose to stay with the youkai, then more likely than not you will never marry. It is very doubtful whether you'd ever find a youkai mate, and just as doubtful whether you'd ever find a human who'd be willing to live among the youkai with you."

Rin was about to question Kagerou-sama's words, but a sudden memory of Ryouken stopped her. 'I would have to be stupid to take a human mate'. True, she realized with surprise, she had never seen a youkai-human marriage. Or mating. But...

"But Touga-sama married Izayoi-sama," she pointed out.

"Yes," Kagerou-sama agreed, "Touga took a human mate. But you have to remember that he was not only a powerful youkai who didn't have to depend on anyone, but also already had an appropriate offspring. By then, he didn't have to care either about alliances or children, not to mention that he was more open to the issue to begin with."

"But in general," Kagerou-sama continued, "youkai don't mate humans. They only sometimes do so casually – often leaving behind hanyou's nevertheless – and even less often permanently. To be honest, Touga and Izayoi were the only case of a lasting relationship between a youkai and a human I have ever known of."

Frowning, Rin weighted the information carefully. No, she didn't feel like getting married, especially not the obedient way. But... it was indeed nice to like somebody, so the prospect of never being able to do so was not really all that appealing.

"So I think you should explore the issue in depth before you make your decision," Kagerou-sama added and there was a distinctive and mischievous gleam in her eyes. "Just like you should try out other ways of living as a human. There's more to it than just being a hime-sama in a tono. So go see the rest of the town, find out what it could be like and remember that your decisions don't have to be permanent. You can always return to the shiro, at any time."

True, Rin noted, she didn't want to stay with humans, not at all, but... she had indeed seen very little of the human life yet. And since she was sure now that Sesshoumaru-sama didn't send her here because she had been dishonoring him or to have her marry, but rather, as she had thought before, so she would know what she was choosing between, it seemed advisable for her to find out more about human life. And she had to admit that she would've liked to see the rest of the town. But...

"I don't have any human money," she pointed out, remembering what she had been told by Fujita-sama. Money was 'dirty' and a young lady should not be handling it. She was quite sure she would get none from Fujita-sama and just as sure that she would need some if she was to go try out the rest of the town.

"Not a problem," Shuukatsu-sama replied, reaching under his armor, and she watched the spectacle in amusement, as always. Shuukatsu-sama wore different armor than Sesshoumaru-sama, his was much shorter, just like a grey band around his chest. It seemed much less constricting than Sesshoumaru-sama's, especially since – as she had learnt once when she had asked about it – it was not made of metal, but of dragon hide. The skin of a powerful dragon, Shuukatsu-sama had told her, was much sturdier than any metal. But it had become awfully difficult to get good dragon hide nowadays, he had added, which was why he held on to it, even though it was beginning to wear out in places. However, it always seemed to her that Shuukatsu-sama wore armor not so much for protection, but rather to keep things underneath it. So far she had seen him keep there his flute, a book – two books actually – now money and she could swear that once he hid an apple there, although how it fit in was beyond her, since the armor seemed quite tight.

"There," Shuukatsu-sama breathed in relief, finding the coins he had been looking for. They were beaded on a piece of string ran through their middles and tied into a ring, and she accepted them gladly, actually looking forward to seeing the rest of the town.

"And if somebody would attack you or the like," Kagerou-sama advised her, "Just scream 'Sesshoumaru-sama'."

Rin eyed her doubtfully. "I'm not sure if Sesshoumaru-sama could hear me from that far away..."

Kagerou-sama laughed. "Of course not. But your attackers wouldn't know that, and since Sesshoumaru's name is quite well-known around here, it should give you enough time to remove yourself from their presence."

True, true, Rin had to admit, laughing too at the simplicity of the idea, that could indeed work.

"And if anybody tries to convince you to 'conduct yourself appropriately'," Shuukatsu-sama added his own advice, "just say 'no'. And remember to make it loud and clear, it works best then."

Rin laughed again, a bit at herself. As she was somehow sure now that Sesshoumaru-sama did not send her here because she had been 'dishonoring' him, she felt somewhat silly for having believed that he would. If it had mattered to Sesshoumaru-sama whether she was a 'crude village girl' or 'conducted herself appropriately', he would've said so long ago, she could see that now.

They chatted some more for a while, since she was eager to ask how things were at the shiro. But it seemed that the only interesting thing that had happened there was that about two weeks ago Shippou-chan got stuck in the well. Apparently, as Kagerou-sama relayed to her, he fell into it while trying to catch a glimpse of a tennyo living in there.

"A tennyo...?" Rin questioned. She was quite sure that there was no tennyo living in the well.

"Shuu told him that the wailing sounds coming from the wellhouse are the cries of a tennyo who chose to live in the well when she fell in love with Touga," Kagerou-sama explained, dryly.

"It was a good story," Shuukatsu-sama defended himself but Kagerou-sama ignored him.

Naturally, Kagerou-sama continued, the sounds were just caused by the wind squealing between the cracks in the walls and then reverberating in the well, but Shippou-chan bought the 'good story' and kept peeking into the well, until he slipped and fell into the water far below. Sadly, he soon discovered that the stones were too slippery to climb them and the well was too narrow for him to float up. And since he picked a moment when there was nobody around, he had spent a good half an hour in there. It was Sesshoumaru-sama who had released him in the end, by simply throwing the drawing bucket into the well, so that Shippou-chan could climb the rope attached to it. But, as Shippou-chan had put it, with great indignation, 'he had the nerve to just stare blankly at first, even though the water was freezing cold!'.

Well, Rin laughed to herself, Sesshoumaru-sama did indeed often do it, just perceived the situation before undertaking any actions. But he always did help in the end, like when Shippou-chan got swept away by a river and down a waterfall once. Of course, Shippou-chan complained that Sesshoumaru-sama could've fished him out before he plummeted down the waterfall, but she couldn't really see any reason for resentment. He was saved in the end, after all.

When the afternoon turned into evening, Kagerou-sama and Shuukatsu-sama left, offering to come over once more in two months or so, just in case, to which she agreed gladly. It would be nice to see familiar faces again during the remaining months of her stay, not to mention that one could never know what would happen when among humans.

She had seen them off towards the gates, and returning to the tono found that – for once – Haruko-chan's and her friends' curiosity overrode their politeness. They were peeking out from the tono and after the two youkai with the same incredulity and amazement she had seen on the faces of other people around here earlier that day.

"Was that really Shuukatsu-sama...?" Haruko-chan asked curiously, and Rin suddenly realized why it seemed so strange to them. That's right, she thought, remembering her first days at the tono, Shuukatsu-sama was something of a historical figure in Urabe. There were many stories in Urabe of how Touga-sama secured the Western Lands, and Shuukatsu-sama was sometimes mentioned in them too, she had learnt once, when she had been shown a thick book with the history and legends of Urabe, compiled by the monks from here for the Moshimune family. She found it funny to read 'history' about somebody she knew in person, and who seemed very much alive and not 'historical' to her.

"Un," she confirmed and the girls' eyes widened.

"But he must be so old by now!" One of them, Atsumi, exclaimed incredulously.

Rin blinked in a sudden memory. "No," she replied, struggling to keep her face straight, "he's but two hundred."

Shuukatsu-sama, she thought flippantly, leaving the puzzled girls who kept staring after her and heading towards her room, would be very proud of her. She felt somehow light and warm again as she walked through the corridors, somehow free and unrestrained. It felt good to have so many doubts cleared, although true, she had still many questions left. But it felt good to know that there were people she could count on when she needed help, people who would be worried about her. Yet the best it felt to know that Sesshoumaru-sama did not think her a crude village girl, did not want her to marry anybody, did not think that she was 'dishonoring' him. She shouldn't have ever thought that he would, she chided herself with a slight frown, Sesshoumaru-sama had never ever given her any reason to believe it to be so.

Noticing Fujita-sama and Kyumitsu-san who were sitting in a room she was passing by, she paused in her walk through the corridors. Now was just as good a time as ever to tell them that she would be not marrying anyone, Rin felt resolutely, regarding the two women. Judging from her expression, Kyumitsu-san still held fresh in her memory her encounter with the 'historical' youkai. Actually, Rin considered, remembering the scene, Sesshoumaru-sama's expression seemed to be a very useful tool for avoiding needless talks and explanations. Wondering briefly whether Shuukatsu-sama borrowed the expression from Sesshoumaru-sama, or the other way around, or maybe they both borrowed it from somebody else, like Touga-sama, she did her best to imitate the look.

"I regret to inform you," she told the two women, trying to make her voice and style matching, "that I will not be marrying Nishizawa Natsuo. Please notify Moshimune-dono and Natsuo-sama about my decision."

It must've been a good take on the look, she decided, since Fujita-sama and Kyumitsu-san only kept looking at her silently, blinking occasionally. Yet as she was walking away, she felt slightly guilty for being so standoffish. It wasn't like they were trying to hurt her, she knew that, they actually wanted the best for her, even though they had no obligation to do so. But what was best for them, for whatever reasons, was not good for her, even if they believed it so.

She pondered the matter briefly once in her room, wondering whether Fujita-sama and Kyumitsu-san, and Haruko-chan and her friends too, really believed that marrying a stranger from a proper family was an 'honor', or did they just have no other choice. It would be quite depressing to have no choice, she felt in a sudden spark of compassion, to not be able to decide one's own fate.

But such musings were soon replaced by thoughts of Sesshoumaru-sama and home in general, and she spent the evening feeling warm and content. Nobody came to trouble her, perhaps because the tono was still under the impression of the visit of the two youkai, so when the night came, she fell asleep still warm and content, laughing slightly at the memory of Shippou-chan's misfortunate adventure.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As they were walking through the town in the evening, Kagerou glanced back towards the tono pensively, her thoughts circling around Rin. She had not been in the shiro when Sesshoumaru decided to send Rin here, but in general, she approved of the idea. Only that, just like years before, Sesshoumaru had not thought his decision through carefully enough. He probably wanted to provide Rin with a comfortable and pleasurable place to spend the year, or longer, should she desire so, but had not considered the formal rigidity of the 'noble' life and what effects it could have on Rin. Rin was not a naturally submissive girl, she could stand her own ground when something conflicted greatly with her views, true, but she also had a natural tendency to trust in those whom she considered 'nice', to trust that they wanted best for her and knew better than her. She was thus very susceptible to being made to believe that she ought to do something in such cases, especially if she believed that Sesshoumaru would wish it so.

So when that Nishizawa man had come to ask for Rin's hand in marriage, she decided to come here and check if everything was as it should be, taking Shuu with her as a means of avoiding unnecessary complications. Not that he needed to be convinced to come here, she thought, glancing to her companion who was currently busy befuddling random humans by waving at them cheerfully, a hobby of his. He probably could remember the circumstances in which they had met, the circumstances of an 'arranged marriage', just as clearly as she could. She originated from a dragonfly clan from Okinawa, a clan which considered themselves 'noble and ancient' and thus followed all those 'honorable' principles Rin had been so confused about, including arranged matings. So naturally, she too was to mate the male her father had chosen for her, and having been fed those concepts all her life, actually would've done it. But then she had met Taisatou and they fell for each other pretty much on the spot. Yet they were also young and inexperienced, so things could've gone terribly wrong when she had finally dared to announce to her clan that she would not mate Masakazu and had left them only to have Masakazu come after her, as was his obligation and duty since it was his honor that had been blemished the most by the refusal.

Fortunately, she smiled as they were passing by a man who had tripped and fallen to the ground, too busy staring at them to see where he was going, Taisatou had been on Okinawa with Shuukatsu, and Shuu solved the problem for them without spilling a drop of blood. Although in a style she would've never had expected from a 'hero to the rescue' operation. When Masakazu came after her and Taisatou was ready to fight him, Shuukatsu took over and before they even saw him move, he was spanking the man, literally. 'You shall not force yourself on women' he lectured him, one spank per each word, while Masakazu was trying to wriggle himself out of his grasp and save the remaining pieces of his dignity. The sight was so unbelievably ridiculous that as she was staring at it in incredulity, all the imprinted lessons on propriety and honor somehow... shed off from her and had not bothered her since. She was left alone after that, since her clan must've gathered information on both what family exactly Taisatou was from and on whom Shuukatsu was, and had never attempted to retrieve her again, apparently valuing their safety above their honor in the end.

Centuries had passes since then, and yet even though those of her clan who were more liberal to begin with had accepted her back, to her father she had always remained 'no child of his'. But she had never regretted her decision, quite to the contrary, she would've done the same every time. Yet, she thought, glancing behind towards the tono again as they reached the town's gates, it was not the same as deciding to live among the youkai when you yourself were a human. It was fine for Rin when she had been a child, it would be fine now and would probably stay fine for quite some time yet, but... what about in twenty, thirty years? How would she feel about it when she would be growing old and wrinkled while everybody else remained as they had always been? Would she regret being too old by then to rejoin her kind...? Would she grow bitter...?

Sighing, Kagerou turned back to the road before her. In many ways it would indeed be best for Rin, and for them too, if she stayed with the humans, even though they would undoubtedly miss her. Still, she countered, glancing to Shuukatsu again, although it was not easy, there were some ways to hold back time for a human.

"You know," she began her mission casually, "if she decides to come back to the shiro, things could get rather sour in a few years."

Shuukatsu abandoned his fun with the humans and looked down to her, nodding pensively. Yes, Kagerou thought, he was probably just as aware of the fact as she was. But she'd rather have him elaborate, she decided, raising a questioning eyebrow.

He looked away, frowning somewhat. "I can see what's on your mind, but what you're asking for is..."

"It borders on a miracle, I'm aware of that. However," she donned an innocent face, "you've been known to make miracles happen."

"You don't need to strain yourself into flattery," he laughed, "I like the girl too. Yet..." He paused again but she more or less knew what he meant; it was not that easy at all. And they both agreed that it was best not to get attached to humans, but... it was just very hard not to get attached to some of them.

They walked towards the forest in silence, both considering the options laid out before the fragile human girl they had just said goodbye to.

"We'll see, Kagerou," Shuukatsu said finally in what she accepted as a satisfactory answer for now. "After all it's not even certain whether she will come back," he added and Kagerou smiled to herself.

"Oh, I think she will," she replied lightly, glancing behind her again and thinking about the brightness of Rin's eyes during certain particular parts of their conversation.

Shuukatsu looked down to her questioningly, but she chose to only smile innocently. If he hadn't noticed on his own, then there was no need for him to know.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Although she had been left alone during the evening, it was not to be a permanent state, Rin found, waking up to the sounds of servants entering her room. It signaled that she was to get up and undergo the whole process of dressing and grooming again, but as she sat up on her futon, watching the servants pensively, she discovered that she very much did not want to undergo it ever again.

They stood before her, waiting for her to rise, and she weighted her sentiments. As much as she didn't want to be buried under the layers upon layers of clothing again, it seemed somehow so impertinently... rebellious not to do it that she found herself faltering under the formality of the scene. 'If anybody tries to convince you to conduct yourself appropriately' Shuukatsu-sama's voice rang in her head, 'just say 'no'.' True, it was easy for Shuukatsu-sama to say, he was a thousand something year old youkai everybody was stunned to see, while she was just an average human, but...

Tentatively, she rose to her feet, gathering in her mind all the polite ways of refusal she had ever come across. "You may leave," she said finally, trying to keep her tone somewhere close to Sesshoumaru-sama's, "I will not be requiring your services today."

The servants kept looking at her, confusion evident on their faces. "Rin-sama...?" one of them ventured to ask, obviously not feeling sent away enough. Biting on her lip, Rin considered what to do now, until she suddenly recalled having employed Sesshoumaru-sama's expression on the day before, in the flightiness of the moment. It did work then, so...

Making her face as stern as she could muster it to be, she raised an eyebrow and fixed the servants with a firm look. It actually worked, she found in relieved surprise as they bowed and left.

"Hmph," she announced to herself, standing on the soft covers of the futon and feeling somehow still in 'Sesshoumaru-sama mode'. It was actually amazing, she decided, that something so simple, nothing more than a raised eyebrow, aloof voice and a stern face, could work so well. No wonder both Sesshoumaru-sama and Shuukatsu-sama used it, it was extremely handy indeed.

Making a note to herself to remember it well, she strode towards the clothes chest – chests, in fact – assembled in a screened part of the room. Rummaging through them for quite a while, she finally found what she was looking for – her own, personal, youkai made yukata! Fujita-sama actually intended to dispose of it at first, but she had insisted on keeping it, not understanding why would anyone want to get rid of youkai clothing. True, it was not as amazing as the yukata she had gotten once from Sesshoumaru-sama, the one made by the spider woman – Chushihou, if she remembered right – but it was still very warm, even on its own, and wonderfully durable. The one made by Chushihou was even more durable, as she had discovered when not long after she had gotten it the left sleeve caught a branch and ripped a bit. She had been greatly saddened to have it damaged thus, but Sesshoumaru-sama only reached out and took the ripped hem between his fingers. He held it for a moment, and when he let go the rip was fully gone, no trace left. She had been greatly bewildered by the fact then, not knowing that it was simply youki-absorbent, as she knew now. It was an exceedingly practical yukata, especially for traveling a lot, but when she had outgrown it, Sae-sama told her that an average youkai clothing, made by a spider weaver living in the Western Lands, would be enough, and she wore yukata's from that weaver ever since. They were still very durable, resistant to staining and actually softer than any of the clothing she had worn here.

Nodding to herself in satisfaction, she took off her sleeping yukata – it had three layers, for some reason – and put on her youkai yukata and a simple sash. It was as comfortable as always, she found, although she also had a slight feeling of being somehow... undressed, especially since her yukata only reached some past her knees. But after so long of wearing so much and being told so often that a lady should be properly attired at all times, it was only natural that it felt different, she told herself. Yet something was still missing, she found, frowning, and rummaged some more through the chests. It took quite some effort, but she finally managed to fish out what she was looking for – her flute!

She had missed playing it, she felt, straightening up, but as she looked down to the flute in her hand, suddenly her mind brightened up with the memory of how she had gotten it from Shuukatsu-sama. 'Keep playing until you find it', Shuukatsu-sama told her then, laughing for reasons unknown to her at the time. But now, as she stood in a human tono, dressed in a youkai yukata, her thoughts were all of a sudden illuminated by a burst of understanding, and she kept looking at the flute, realizing in perfect clarity what he really meant by 'one's own melody'. Laughing slightly, she shook her head at how long it took her to get it. No wonder Shuukatsu-sama was also laughing when he told her that it took long to find it and that one had to play in many places. And she actually thought that the bench in the garden would be enough of a place!

Her lips still quivering, she raised the flute to play the melody that she had considered to be close to her own. No, it wasn't it yet, but it was not surprising at all since back then she was only searching for something pretty, not for something that would express her, and what she found important. To find one's own melody, she felt, enjoying the familiar sounds, it was indeed necessary to play in many places, to know what you wanted and didn't want, what you cherished and what you had no interest in. And she had never really thought much about those things before Sesshoumaru-sama had sent her here.

And that, she thought, smiling as she finished playing and slid the flute behind her sash, clearly proved that Sesshoumaru-sama had been right in doing so, and that she had been wrong to object it so much. True, so far she hadn't found anything here that she would like to keep, or even less so anything that could tempt her to stay with humans, but at least she found out a lot about what she didn't want, and that was just as important.

Still smiling, she headed out of her room and down the corridors, but soon saw Fujita-sama, who was heading towards her room. Probably to talk to her about her behavior, Rin winced, again feeling slightly guilty for having been so brusque towards Fujita-sama on the previous evening. No, she had no intention of marrying Natsuo-sama, or staying with the humans – or being a proper lady for that matter – so she had to inform Fujita-sama about it, but... Watching Fujita-sama approach, she thought of how to do it appropriately and suddenly thought of what Sesshoumaru-sama said to Moshimune-dono when he brought her here.

"Fujita-sama," she bowed once the lady reached her, "I want to thank you for all your kindness and care, but I no longer desire to be treated like Moshimune-dono's own daughter."

Fujita-sama didn't reply, only looked at her with a strange expression.

"But if it's possible," Rin continued, "I would like to stay in the tono during the remaining months of the year Sesshoumaru-sama wished me to spend here." Not in the same way as before though, Rin added mentally, being quite sure now that she had no wish to be a 'hime-sama in a tono', as Kagerou-sama had put it. But she did need a place to stay for the remaining months, and it would've been nice to stay here, since the tono was a very comfortable place to live in, and Fujita-sama and Haruko-chan were nice companions overall. Not to mention that she had very little idea of any other ways of human life, since her memories of having lived in a human village, before Sesshoumaru-sama, were rather hazy in her mind, to put it generously.

Fujita-sama didn't reply at once, only kept looking at her with that strange expression. And perhaps it was just the light in the corridor, but it seemed to Rin that there was a tint of distant regret in her eyes.

"Naturally," Fujita-sama replied finally, "if this is what you desire."

She smiled at her lightly and Rin smiled back, bowing and thanking her, before leaving on her way again. As she walked through the corridors and walkways, ignoring the odd glances her sudden change of wardrobe was earning her from the people around, her thoughts lingered on the peculiar look in Fujita-sama's eyes. It was quite possible, she considered with a sigh, that Fujita-sama did not believe all that firmly in 'honor and duty' either, but simply had no other choice. She had never really wondered whether Fujita-sama married Moshimune-dono out of choice or obligation, although it seemed to her that it might've very well been choice, since they appeared to be a well-matched and caring couple. But even if, there were undoubtedly many things that Fujita-sama had never been able to do, things that a lady was not supposed to do.

Sighing again, she continued towards the courtyard and then beyond, towards the gates, pausing slightly before them. Her plan was to do what Kagerou-sama had advised her to do, that is explore other ways of human life. No, she had no intention of staying with humans, but she would like to be able to tell Sesshoumaru-sama that she had tried everything humans had to offer and thus knew exactly what she was choosing between. But... it was quite an expedition, as she was finding out now, to just venture on her own into a town full of strangers. Biting on her lip slightly, she regarded the road that was winding down from the gates and towards the bridge. It felt somewhat... nervous, to not know what she could expect in the town. But, as Sae-sama once said, quoting some old Chinese proverb, even the longest journey begins with the first step. Or something like that, she frowned lightly, feeling that she might've gotten it inaccurately. In either case, it was still just as true, and thus she took a deep breath, ignored the quizzical glances from the guards and walked down the road to the town.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was not that bad at all, she found, and pondered what she had learnt while snacking on an omusubi on a bench outside a ryouriya. She had been worried at first that she would be an object of interest as the 'youkai girl', as she had heard the servants call her whisperingly a few times, but it seemed that she wasn't really all that recognizable, despite having been seen with Sesshoumaru-sama, because apart from a few odd glances, she had not attracted any attention. So she had been wandering around the town untroubled so far, and thus learnt its basic structure. Towards the seaside, there was a number of boats in a cove, some fisherman houses – they had nets hanged outside, so it was easy to guess – and a lot of various fish smells. From there the town grew denser, with one main street along the river and many narrow alleys stemming from it. There was also a large square along the main road, next to the otera that she could remember from the time she had come here for the Tanabata, and around it a lot of various shops and stands, offering various goods, from meat and sea food through vegetables and rice to pottery and clothing. She had also spotted something called izakaya there, as she had gathered from the words of the people around, and the ryouriya where she had decided to attempt to buy something. She was not entirely sure how one got about to doing that, although she had some vague memories of having bought things here before. But back then she had one of Moshimune-dono's guards with her – his name somewhat escaped her memory, she found – and he had done it for her. Yet 'nothing ventured, nothing gained', as Myouga-sama would sometimes say, although how he could say it while being the awful coward that he was was beyond her, so she tried her luck and set out to buy a few omusubi. The lady in the ryouriya turned out to be very nice and simply picked the right coins from her hand when she wasn't sure which one was how much. They were a bit tricky, the coins, since there were various kinds of them, and each was apparently worth a different value. So she watched the people around her carefully, paying close attention to what and how they were buying, and was beginning to grasp the basics of the coins and the overall process.

It meant however, she eyed the string of coins tied to her sash, that Shuukatsu-sama had actually given her quite a lot, she could buy loads of omusubi for it, but it was all the better. She still had a little over a half of her stay before her, so there would undoubtedly be many things she might want to buy. Actually, she considered, shifting her eyes towards a building further down into the town, there was one thing that she could use already. The building was an ofuroya, and to her knowledge it was a public bathhouse, where one could bathe when in need of a bath. And she happened to be in need of a bath indeed, since she had skipped her bath last night. Usually, she would bathe in the evenings, in the bathhouse in the tono – there were two actually – but yesterday she had been too caught up in her thoughts to remember about it, and since nobody reminded her, she had missed it altogether. Yes, she decided, finishing the last omusubi and thus satisfying her hunger for the time being, it was a good idea. So once more repeating Myouga-sama's words to herself, she left the bench and the ryouriya and headed to the bathhouse.

The main difference between a private and a public bathhouse, she found, was that the public one was much larger. And of course, that you had to pay a fee near the entrance, which she had done somewhat more competently this time. The man there also offered her bath supplies, since she didn't have any with her, so she got those too and headed towards the bathing area proper where she could see many people bathing already. There were two very large tubs there and a lot of room for washing oneself, which she had done promptly, and soon lowered herself into one of the large tubs. But as soon as she did so, she caught a familiar name being spoken nearby – somebody was talking about Sesshoumaru-sama!

It was a group of girls, she found, who were washing themselves near the tub, or rather were supposed to, but were mostly just sitting around, chitchatting and laughing. Glancing around casually, she moved towards the edge of the tub that was right next to them, trying to be discreet about it and to catch what exactly they were talking about.

And so she soon found that they were busy arguing over a very feminine issue, while being divided into two opposing factions, each of which supported different of the two youkai men they had seen recently. More specifically, they were debating whether Sesshoumaru-sama was more beautiful or Shuukatsu-sama more handsome.

Rin felt torn between her loyalties. In the frankness of her heart, she would join Sesshoumaru-sama's side, but it wasn't fair towards Shuukatsu-sama. Not only he had always been nice and kind to her, but he was actually very handsome, although she would say that he was somehow too... dark. He had black hair, always wore black and had a somehow darker tone of skin, as if he had a permanent suntan, and it was just too much of the dark in her opinion. The only thing she had always very much liked about Shuukatsu-sama's appearance was his lips, since, as she had observed almost upon meeting him, he had upturned lip corners, thus always looking as if he was half smiling already, which very much suited his character. But it was not enough to outweigh Sesshoumaru-sama, who, as she had always believed, was indeed very beautiful.

Yet listening on the laughing girls, she found that Shuukatsu-sama's faction was doing well enough even without her quiet support, so her conscience clean, she gave into nodding her approval of the various enumerations of Sesshoumaru-sama's qualities that were to win the debate. Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama indeed had very beautiful hair, she could easily testify to that, still owning the braid of his hair she had once obtained. Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama also had very beautiful eyes, they were the color of amber and were very nicely shaped. And he indeed carried himself beautifully, yes, especially in a fight, as she could clearly remember. She kept nodding, satisfied with such an appropriate depiction of Sesshoumaru-sama, but her attention was soon diverted by what one of the girls that supported Shuukatsu-sama countered with. Beautiful as Sesshoumaru-sama may be, she said and the others of Shuukatsu-sama's faction giggled their agreement, Shuukatsu-sama was the kind of man she'd gladly keep under her kakebuton for many nights to come. Rin perked up her ears, knowing more or less what the girl was alluding to and finding the topic to be very much worth rapt attention. She still couldn't really see what the appeal of mating as such was, although true, it didn't seem as strange to her as it used to when she had been younger, and there were times, when she was watching Hiroshi from afar, that she would feel a want to be closer to him. She would imagine how it would feel to kiss him, she would picture the whole scene and what it would be like. It seemed a little embarrassing but... also very much appealing, leaving her feeling all warm and somehow tingly inside. But it still didn't seem as appealing to her as it appeared to be to other girls, so she was curious to learn some more about the particulars of the appeal.

Yet when the girls did elaborate, she found it to be about something she was not expecting to hear at all. One of Sesshoumaru-sama's supporters countered, saying that she would say the same about Sesshoumaru-sama and that she would gladly switch places with that girl Sesshoumaru-sama kept around. Rin felt her eyes widen in astonishment when she realized what the girl was implying. It was the same thing that the monks had said, that she... that Sesshoumaru-sama...

"That's not true! It's not like that!" she exclaimed instinctively, turning to the girls, her cheeks burning in embarrassment. It wasn't true at all!

The girls glanced to her in surprise, silent for a short moment. "Oh!" one of them huffed excitedly, pointing a finger at her, and Rin suddenly remembered that she was supposed to avoid attention, not attract it like that!

"Oh!" exclaimed another and understanding quickly spread among them. "You're the girl!" Rin ducked into the water up to her nose, her mind anxiously searching for a way out. Should she just run for it...? Maybe they won't remember her... She was about to wade away hastily, but what one of them said next made her pause.

"And why not?" the girl who said before that Sesshoumaru-sama had beautiful hair asked, leaning towards her curiously. She was around fifteen or sixteen and was very pretty actually. "Don't you like him?" she asked again and Rin stared at her from above the water. What did she mean whether she liked Sesshoumaru-sama? Of course she did, he was Sesshoumaru-sama, but that had nothing to do with it!

"Oh, you're so bold, Kayo!" gasped another, and Rin very much agreed from her perch almost under the water. She was very bold!

"Don't scare the girl," scoffed another, the one that would gladly have Shuukatsu-sama under her kakebuton. She seemed older than Rin, around nineteen, and appeared to be something of a leader of the group. Her name was Naomi, as Rin had gathered. "So are you really the girl that Sesshoumaru-sama keeps around?" she asked, turning to Rin again. Not seeing much of a way out of it now, Rin nodded slowly, her nose dipping into the water. Maybe they wouldn't be that bad after all...

"So what are you to Sesshoumaru-sama?" Kayo asked again, confirming the assessment of her character as 'bold' and lying down on her stomach near the edge of the tub, to observe Rin curiously, while the other girls scuttled closer too.

Rin frowned lightly, unsure what to say. She wasn't anything in particular to Sesshoumaru-sama, she just... was. Fujita-sama said she was Sesshoumaru-sama's 'ward', but she wasn't entirely sure if that was the right term, never having really wondered about it. "I just am," she replied in the end, surfacing a bit. Kayo gestured at her, prompting her to elaborate, and Rin tentatively set out to do so. "Ummm... Sesshoumaru-sama saved me when I was a child and kept me around ever since."

"Such a romantic story!" a few girls huffed among each other, although Rin couldn't really see what was so 'romantic' about it.

"Oh, who cares about it," another one, the one who would've gladly switched places with her, waved them aside, leaning closer to Rin, "better tell us how does Sesshoumaru-sama look without that armor and clothes!"

A few more huffs about being bold followed, although it seemed that all were very interested to hear her answer, since they leaned closer to her too, but Rin didn't know what to say. She had never really thought about it, and couldn't really remember seeing Sesshoumaru-sama undressed. The only time she could remember clearly was when she had been around twelve or thirteen and entered Sesshoumaru-sama's room one morning to find him getting dressed, wearing only his hakama and putting on his haori. But she had been too awed by his hair when he pulled it out from under the collar and it spilled all around him, almost glowing in the morning light, to actually pay attention to how he looked undressed like that.

"I don't really know," she told them apologetically, and they did seem quite disappointed, especially those who had been supporting him.

"And Shuukatsu-sama?" Naomi asked, wiggling her eyebrows meaningfully, and the girls leaned towards her again. But this time Rin could actually offer them some information, although she was not really sure why they wanted to know. She had seen Shuukatsu-sama undressed many times, since he had a habit of going to the wellhouse first thing in the morning in the summer, dressed only in his hakama, to dump cold water on himself, a very peculiar habit she did not feel tempted to try out. Truth be told though, she had never really paid much attention to how he looked then, except when she noticed that he had a tattoo on his back and she hadn't been all that sure if it was a tattoo or a marking, since one could never know with the youkai. But now, frowning in effort, she came up with an appropriate description.

"He's very well-muscled," she informed them and some nodded to themselves in strange satisfaction. She couldn't really see what was there to be satisfied about in relation to somebody's appearance. True though, now that she thought about it, a boy's physical appearance did somehow matter, and she always found those tall and slender to me more attractive than others, but...

"Mmmmm," Naomi hummed to herself with an odd gleam in her eyes, apparently having more detailed knowledge on the matter. Perhaps, Rin considered, eying her carefully, she should use the opportunity and ask her about it, about some more on boys and such in general. But before she made up her mind, an older woman entered the bathhouse and began telling the girls off for lazing about. A rest day as it was, she said – Rin realized that it was indeed Sunday today – it didn't mean they were to loaf about all day like that. The girls dispersed, finishing their baths quickly, especially the two that apparently were the daughters of the woman, but Naomi and Kayo still didn't seem to be in a hurry. They only finished washing up and entered the tub too, resting next to her.

"So," Kayo started casually, "then what are you doing here in the town now?"

Rin felt a little shy to be talking to them like that. She never really had any female friends of her own age, except maybe Haruko-chan and her friends, but she never really felt all that at ease around them. But, she decided, observing the two girls near her, Kayo and Naomi seemed much more approachable and open, and quite nice overall. So she answered tentatively, telling them about how Sesshoumaru-sama sent her here so she could make her choice between living with the youkai and living with the humans. They listened attentively, asking more questions, without any trace of the timidity she had observed in Haruko-chan. No, they didn't seem 'ladylike' and docile at all, she felt, and it somehow endeared them to her and encouraged her to ask some questions of her own.

Thus she soon learnt that Kayo and Naomi were sisters, and daughters of a merchant who owned one of the shops near the main square. She also learnt that Naomi was already married, and felt rather surprised, in view of her earlier comments. Wondering if by any chance it didn't mean that Naomi too married a stranger, she ventured to ask about it, not really sure whether it wasn't rude of her, but it didn't seem to be. Naomi must've grasped the reasons why she was asking, and only laughed, saying that she loved her husband dearly, which was why she had married him, but it didn't mean that she couldn't appreciate the appeal of other men, even though she had no intentions of ever being a 'wayward wife'. Rin couldn't really understand her reasoning, but felt quite reassured to find that some people did indeed marry because of liking somebody and not just because of duty and honor.

They chatted thus for some time, but then the girls said that they needed to get back home for dinner and to help their parents around the shop and the house. And since she had confessed earlier on that she didn't really have much of an idea about the life of the humans, they invited her to come with them, and she accepted gladly. They seemed very nice indeed and it could be both educational and pleasurable to be friends with them.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The Sumisawa house and family turned out even nicer than Rin anticipated, as she found when Kayo and Naomi took her to their father's shop. It was located in a building at the square, the shop was in the front, with a small storehouse adjacent to it, and the living area proper was behind it, even with a small garden behind the house, which, as she was told, was not all that frequent in a town. She was soon introduced to their parents, both of whom seemed just as nice as the girls. Hatsuyo-san, the girls' mother, was gentle and warm, and confirmed the girls' invitation to dinner, while Sumisawa-san seemed somehow both stern and decisive and yet at the same time kind and understanding, and when they all sat down to dinner, she established that she indeed liked them all. She also met Naomi's husband, Asato, who was actually quite handsome himself, and seemed to be a jokative person, as she found when he asked them if they had managed to gossip about all the men in the town yet, or have some been spared.

They ate the dinner – very delicious – in a bright and welcoming common room overlooking the garden, and Rin enjoyed herself very much, especially since it didn't seem to matter to them whether she was 'the youkai girl' or not. Kayo and Naomi relayed to the others whom she was and what she was doing in Urabe, but Hatsuyo-san only asked if she was doing alright so far, to which she nodded, smiling. Yes, she confirmed once again, watching them talk animatedly to one another, with only Sumisawa-san looking as if calmly resigned to the ruckus around him, they did indeed seem to be very nice people.

After dinner she helped the girls and Hatsuyo-san clean up, and then even helped around in the shop, enjoying the cheerful atmosphere around her and watching various people come over. When the evening arrived, she headed back to the tono, but Kayo and Naomi invited her to come over tomorrow too, or whenever she felt like it, if she had nothing better to do. And, they added, smiling mischievously, she definitely had to come to the ofuroya next Sunday for another 'girls' chat'. Because on Sunday middays, she found, the various girls from the area who were usually too busy during the week to idle around like that, would meet up in the ofuroya to talk about 'this and that'.

"Don't let them fool you," Asato cut in from behind Kayo and Naomi, "it's not 'this and that', it's always men."

Rin laughed to herself when they scoffingly waved him aside, and promised to come to the ofuroya for sure. Saying her goodbyes and thanks, she left the Sumisawa house feeling much better about humans in general and returned to the tono with quite nice memories of her first day among the town humans.

She repeated the experience on the next day, indeed visiting the Sumisawa residence once more, after wandering around the town for some time on her own. The shop was much busier than yesterday, she found, and offered her help, spending another nice day in their company. They seemed just as nice as on the day before, and just as inviting, so she began repeating the experience almost everyday, until they all became friends to her and she hardly even noticed when another month had passed. It had been a very educational month however, and she now felt much more confident in her knowledge on humans, having asked the girls pretty much all and every question that came to her mind.

And thus she found that the lives of the heimin – the 'common' people, as opposed to the high-born people like Moshimune-dono, Jiro-san and so on – were quite different from what she had gotten used to in the tono. They were poorer, of course, and didn't have many of the rights that the high-born people have, most notably the right to travel freely around the country. Heimin, she had been told, belong to the daimyou of the lands and it's for him to decide what would become of them. However, Moshimune-dono was actually very liberal in that respect, and issued travel permissions to almost anyone who asked, which meant that they were mostly necessary only when one wanted to travel to a large town, where such permissions were often required. Thus, for example, Sumisawa-san often needed such papers, because the specialty of his store were novelty goods brought from large towns, and he sometimes traveled around Japan. Overall, the store offered a variety of goods, from rice through paper to tools, but what made it unique were the many items that could not otherwise be obtained either in Urabe – which was but a small town, she had been told – or in the Western Lands in general. They were mostly novelties – books and paintings, clothing and tools, jewellery and ornaments, and Rin had a very nice time inspecting them all. It was mostly Sumisawa-san's brother, she learnt, who traveled around, acquiring various goods, often preordered by somebody, but unfortunately he was a somewhat reckless person and occasionally would get himself in trouble, which was when Sumisawa-san would have to travel too, to get him out of the trouble.

Sumisawa-san however, was a very stoic and composed person, who could hardly ever be caught out of balance and who followed his own beliefs. And that, she found, was the reason why Kayo and Naomi were so open and not docile at all. During the month around the town, she had paid special attention to the issue of obedience expected from women and found that although heimin women had much more freedom and general liberties than high-born women, they were still expected to be obedient to their fathers and husbands. They were not so confined to their homes, true, but the whole thing about the 'ladylike' behavior still applied, to an extent. Yet Sumisawa-san held a different opinion on the matter, and thus not only provided his daughters with all the education he could – which made a woman rather unattractive to most men, Naomi told her frankly – but also had not arranged marriages for them, opting to let them choose instead. And he proved to be a man of his word when Naomi fell in love with Asato, who was but a fifth son of a poor farmer family and owned pretty much nothing. The match was generally considered to be very disadvantageous to her, Naomi told her, and 'no father in his right mind would agree to it', as many people in Urabe had advised Sumisawa-san then.

But Sumisawa-san remained undaunted, and not only agreed to the match, but also offered to make Asato his successor in business, a very generous offer towards a boy who owned nothing and knew nothing about the trade. He did however set one condition, which was that Asato should prove to him that he was worthy of his daughter. He was to do that by postponing the marriage – and any related pleasures – for three years and becoming Sumisawa-san's apprentice in trade. Yet Asato was not to be deterred by such trifle conditions, so when nearly a year ago the three required years had passed and Naomi was still 'intact' while Asato had learnt the trade, they were finally married, much to Sumisawa-san's satisfaction. And undoubtedly much to their pleasure, for as Rin had gathered, they were indeed a very loving couple.

And now they lived together with the rest of the Sumisawa family and both helped to run the shop which was a very family business to begin with. Even Kayo had her role in it, in being a 'kanbanmusume', that is, as Rin had learnt, a pretty daughter who stood outside the shop and attracted clients. It was a popular custom, although Sumisawa-san was not all for it, but Kayo wanted to do the job out of her own volition, taking great pride in her good looks. And, as she said, if a man was stupid enough to waste money only because a pretty girl wanted him to, he was asking for it to begin with. Rin spent many pleasurable hours outside the shop with Kayo, acting as a sort of a kanbanmusume helper, and often chatting about this and that. Well, yes, about boys, and very often about Sesshoumaru-sama, since Kayo was one of the girls that supported Sesshoumaru-sama in their ofuroya debate and Rin very much liked talking about Sesshoumaru-sama anyway. So she told Kayo all about how she had been revived by Sesshoumaru-sama – Kayo had been really amazed then – and all about their life in the shiro, about how Sesshoumaru-sama was like and about the many things he had done for her.

She had once also told Kayo that she had a braid of Sesshoumaru-sama's pretty hair. Kayo had been very envious of her then, but Naomi, who heard the conversation, had a different reaction, much more business like.

"Hmmm, that would fetch a nice price," she said pensively, obviously visualizing the possibilities, "We could even sell it in talismans!"

And as strange as that sounded, Rin found that it was a justified assumption, since there were many people both in Urabe and in the Western Lands in general who considered Sesshoumaru-sama to be in a sense their benefactor. It was just as she had thought upon coming to Urabe, the fact that Sesshoumaru-sama disposed of those human daimyou's years back had been greatly appreciated, and additionally, as she had learnt, his mere presence as the lord of the lands discouraged most warlords from trying to take over the area. Not that the lands were that much worth the trouble, she had been told, since it was too hilly and rocky here for profitable farming, which, she suspected, might've been the reason why Touga-sama had picked this region to begin with. In either case, she had no intention of selling Sesshoumaru-sama's hair, for any uses, but had been impressed with Naomi trade instincts. She was clearly a merchant's daughter, born and raised, while Rin had no such inclinations, even though she found helping in the shop to be very enjoyable. She had actually been helping there so much that Sumisawa-san offered to pay her for her time, but naturally, she declined. Not only she had often eaten dinner at their house, she replied, but also Shuukatsu-sama had given her more money than she actually needed, as she had found.

"Handsome and generous," Naomi commented then, "nice!"

"I swear, Naomi," Asato remarked casually, leaning out from the storeroom, "you are a natural born geisha!"

Rin laughed at their antics, knowing by then what a geisha was. She was not entirely sure though if that was the right term for it, although Naomi was most certainly a natural born something in either case. Yet an appropriate term had not yet come up in her conversations about boys both with Kayo and Naomi, and during the 'girl's chats' in the ofuroya. Asato had been right, she had found during those chats, they were indeed all about men. Not all were about some distant objects of attention however – although she had been made to reveal some more information on both of the two youkai competitors – most of the chats were actually about everyday boys, boys that the girls from the group liked and sometimes even planned to marry. It was not always possible to marry the boy one liked though, she found, and it pretty much confirmed her earlier assessments of how marriage most often worked. Even though the girls here were heimin, and thus were much freer than for example Haruko-chan, they were still usually expected to marry the man their fathers chose for them. It was much more possible however to marry the boy one liked, provided that he was an 'appropriate' kind of boy. 'Appropriate' meant that he was wealthy – or at least not poor – and of a good family. So thus, marrying a poor village boy, like Naomi had done, was hardly ever an option for them. Only those that nobody appropriate wanted to marry and who were getting on in years could sometimes marry whomever, but it was not an easy thing to do when you were considered unattractive to begin with.

Still, despite the many vices of marriage, it did seem that it was a very enjoyable concept to the girls. They also seemed to be more focused on the liking aspect of it than the honor and duty part and she found it to be much more like what it should be, in her opinion. She also found that they had a much more relaxed approach to what was decent and what was not. One ought not, she had been told, 'go all out' – meaning do the corporal union, as she gathered – before marriage, although it seemed to her that some might've anyway, but kissing was alright. And it appeared that most of them – even the two who were fourteen – had already done so, making her feel somewhat inadequate. She was nearing eighteen and yet the closest she had ever been to a kiss, she noted despondently, was the 'indirect kiss' Shuukatsu-sama had teased her about. Of course, by the same token drinking from the same cup as Shippou-chan counted too, but that was hardly a consolation. It's not that she had to kiss, of course not, but...

Sighing, she pondered the matter on one of the cheerful middays in the ofuroya, idly listening to the girls. It was like Kagerou-sama had told her – living with the youkai she would most likely never have a chance to have somebody to like. True, Kagerou-sama also mentioned that youkai sometimes casually mated humans, but she did not feel inclined towards having such a passing relationship just to find out how kissing felt like. Or doing anything else one did with boys. She still wasn't entirely sure what the appeal was, and had actually confessed so to Naomi once, but Naomi only laughed and told her that she would know once she found that one right boy. And that was the core of the problem, Rin felt, washing herself absentmindedly, she would like to do that, find that one right boy and then learn all about kissing and other things, but none of the boys around seemed appealing to her. It was not all that bad however, if she was to give up on such things for good, but on the other hand, it would be nice to know on what exactly she was giving up. Well, she sighed again, she still had some time left here, so who knows, maybe she would find some boy she liked enough for it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

General notes:

Rin's character: In relation to the obedience issue, personally I don't find Rin to be all that obedient as she is sometimes shown to be in other fics. Note that a) she practically ditches Jaken when he is about to tell her the story of Inuyasha, b) she didn't listen to Sesshoumaru when they first met, c) followed after him just because, d) attempted to lie to him about Kohaku, e) didn't listen at first in Movie 3 when he told her to leave, f) the whole of Episode 96 is about Rin doing things on her own, and most notably g) in Episode 166 Sesshoumaru tells her and Jaken to leave Kagura (who was being swept away by a river) alone, but Rin enters the river anyway, somewhat to Sesshoumaru's surprise (or maybe he's surprised that Jaken did it too, in either case I love the bit when it's Jaken who gets bonked for the fact they got swept away by the river too). Also, in Episode 162, she clearly defies the monks, even quite brusquely telling the monk to let go of her. Same in Movie 3 when she exhibits very clear convictions on what is 'right', in both somewhat naively telling Takemaru off and in collecting the rosary pieces for Kagome. And same with thanking people for help and the like.

So no, I don't think her to be submissive by nature, and my opinion is more or less expressed by what Kagerou thinks on Rin in this chapter. That is that Rin would defend her convictions when it comes to something important to her, but when it comes to everyday issues, she would trust others to know better than her. Like when Sesshoumaru tells her not to move in Episode 66, and she remains frozen until he allows her to move again. Or when he tells her stay somewhere and she does, despite thinking it to be boring. It also seems to me that she does very much want to please him and to always have his approval of her, but like in Episode 166 she wouldn't obey him blindly when his words contrasted against her own opinion.

However, I do admit that, as Maore noted, making Rin lash at the monks in the last chapter could've been too much, so perhaps I'll change that. Moreover, there may be some observable inconsistencies in her character in this chapter, but hopefully it is because I wanted it to be so, to show her still as in that 'peculiar stage of maturation' ;) I do know though that she might seem too naive and innocent for an almost 18 year old girl, but I also wanted to show that she never really had an occasion to be made to grow up among the youkai, since to them she's still very much a child. Not only because of the species difference, but also because to them those ten years would be hardly any time for somebody to mature. So she had a very peaceful and innocent life, without ever having to ponder any weightier issues.

But I did try to show that intellectually, she's smart enough to draw her own conclusions, understand abstract concepts and generally 'catch on' when faced with something new. Lastly, I also tried to show that she has a sense of humor, and can apply it to make humorous remarks of her own, not just laugh at what others say.

So overall, I hope that the readers will like Rin as I see her ;)

Travel permissions: I'm not entirely sure if travel permission had already been introduced in Sengoku Jidai, but I do think that they were used during the Tokugawa shogunate (the next 'era' after Sengoku Jidai). In either case, the point on heimin being owned by daimyou is pretty much accurate to my knowledge – the samurai even had the right to kill any 'lesser' person and not get punished for it in the slightest.

Moreover, I would like to note here that not all 'high-born' people in Japan at the time were samurai. There were also nobles as such, centered around noble families related to the Emperor line. At the time, Japan was ruled by two separate centers of power – one, the Bakufu, that is the military, samurai, center, and two, the Emperor, who was pretty much just a nominal center of power. However, the samurai, or rather the daimyou's, that is the ruling samurai, were then constantly at war among each other, hence the period is also known as the Warring States Era. And although in the timeframe of this fic Nobunaga is already rampaging around (he laid the foundations for unifying Japan), it would be only in some ten or twenty years (don't remember at the moment) that the Tokugawa shogunate (shogun was the chief of the Bakufu and thus effectively the ruler of the country) would come into full play. The period of Tokugawa shogunate is more commonly known as the Edo period (Edo was the old name of Tokyo to where the Tokugawa's moved the Bakufu center), and it lasts until the mid 19th century when the Bakufu as such is abolished. It is mostly during the Edo period though that the samurai culture reached its full swing (the code of Bushido and a lot of other such regulations and customs were created only then), while in Sengoku Jidai and earlier, the 'noble' culture originated from before the Bakufu was still prominent, so there were many nobles as such who weren't really samurai. And since I had Touga unite the Western Lands over 600 years prior, that was even before the Bakufu was established and thus Moshimune family did not originate form the samurai. Phew, that was long and obscure.

Review replies:

Sexysaxist: How can you say that! I'm an open review whore too! ;) My neglected muse had indeed been very much balmed though and I do feel somewhat better about not being a 'catchy' writer, so all is well that ends well. Or something like that. And on to the two reviews: Kagura will hopefully add even more to the story when I reuse her (it will be quite a challenge with all those issues, phew); Shuukatsu's contemplation was exactly to leave the reader going Huh? because it relates to something that is very much downplayed in Movie 3 and which is the bare reality of Sesshoumaru's actions, and is rather coldhearted indeed. It will be elaborated later on, but you do have a point there, so I think I might edit that bit.

As for the lemons – true, I agree with your opinion, very much so, but unfortunately I see the story between them as only reaching understanding after sex, not the other way around, so even without lemons as such, some 'bed scenes' will have to be inserted. Although some realizations on both sides also will be required, so a lot of issue juggling ahead... 0.0 Hmmmm, not an easy thing in either case...

I have followed with the general advices of writing as I see fit though, although it cost me three complete re-writes of the first part of this chapter! –shakes fist—

And as for the chapter 11 review – thank you very much for mentioning all those little things! Once more those were the exact effects I was going for, so I'm yet again very happy to hear that they had been achieved:D Shippou does have those sort of moments, doesn't he, like in one of his first episodes when he points out to Inuyasha that if they allow Naraku to collect shards in a ploy to just take them from him later, Naraku would only get stronger and Inuyasha is pretty much 'eh...?' Hilarious! And the issues between Sesshoumaru and Shuukatsu (both fatherly and enemy-like) will also be explored further since I agree, there's a lot of room for both being charming and somewhat dramatic. And maybe I should insert more Touga, but I think I'll do it only once more of the general past of Sesshoumaru is revealed, ooooooh! ;)

And once more, thank you for such detailed and greatly appreciated reviews:D

Shadowkeepre: It does indeed sometimes take a lot of effort to research, but fortunately I greatly enjoy it, so it's not that tiring, only frustrating when I can't find something. And hahaha, your sisters are very much right, not everyone can be thrifty!

zee: Thank you, although it's 'dudette' ;)

idril: Hahaha, thank you! I really wish I could post chapters more often, but unfortunately I'm only writing as I post, or posting as I write, and there's only so fast that I can write! And really, don't worry, if you have any critical remarks, I will more than appreciate it if you voice them! It's sometimes very difficult to see flaws on my own, ouch.

Oakzap425: Thank you for spending your new experience on this fic then! ;) I answered to the Inuyasha question (they will most certainly return to the story) in the long author rant at the beginning. And I'm glad to hear that the symbols were noticed:)

RinoaHeart7: Thank you, no problem and I tried to make the chapter as thought out as I could!

Sesshomaruhasfluffytail: Thank you, though I'm afraid that you will still have to wait for the romance proper for a few chapters. As for the snow – Sesshoumaru was symbolized by snow and winter, and Rin admired snow and winter, yet shook off the snow of the branches and anticipated spring. In other words, it's a foreshadowing that she will both 'defrost' Sesshoumaru and will want to do so.

Tetsukon: (Soul of Iron...?;)) Thank you! It is all the more appreciated since you're not generally a Sess/Rin fan, so I can take it as personal credit ;)

evilteddybear: Thank you very much!

mystal: Thank you! As you can see from the length of this chapter (huuuuge!) I decided not to worry too much about it! I tried to focus more on Sesshoumaru and Rin since otherwise it would be hard to retain the feel of continuity of a romance between them, but there will undoubtedly will still be a lot of interaction between other characters and more POV's. If I do post the other fic (I might include it here, I'm still undecided) I will most certainly let you know:D

Tarwen: Hahaha, thank you very much and I do indeed repeat that to myself, along with 'no mush, no drama!' ;)

Maore: Thank you very much! And true, I wholeheartedly agree that writing (especially non-profitable) should be pleasurable, not burden-like, although it's sometimes hard to do when I stumble over some more angsty pieces and it takes days to structure them coherently 0.0 And 'when in doubt, eat', hahaha, I think I will make it a motto for Shippou! It suits him perfectly! As for Rin and the monks, I have rumbled about it in the general notes and thank you very much for taking the time to describe you impressions of it! And lastly, about Sesshoumaru realizing that Rin would be an 'old maid' soon – I did indeed intend to show that he cares for her and thus worries about her well-being, but I also tried to show that he's still not entirely aware of how much exactly her well-being means to him, and thus finds various justifications for his actions. So I hope it came out alright, even though I'm not entirely satisfied with Chapter 11.

Anna's pastime: Thank you:) And as you have mentioned, yes, for me the Sess/Rin part in more of an excuse to show the world that had somehow birthed itself in my mind than other way around. I also very much agree that fanfiction (and creative writing) in general is a great place to delve deeper into characters and their relationships. True, it's not possible to visualize the scenery as easily as it is with movies or anime, but on the other hand, no movie would ever allow such opportunities as inserting casual recollections or personal thoughts. So as always, something for something, hmmm. Well, in either case, thank you again:)

Dazma: Thank you:) As for my struggles with my writing style, I have ranted on it mercilessly at the beginning of the page ;) I am very happy to hear that you find the story to feel gentle, because that's exactly what I wanted it to feel like, especially during those parts now! And finally, keeping a reader awake till 3 am is one of the best compliments, so thank you again! ;)

Snowlock: Thank you and I hope that I have managed to present some parts of the human view (the rest will follow in the next chapter). True though, it is not possible to please everyone, try as I might, although I don't think I'll try anymore. I'm not too sure about your opinion on the freshness of the material, I find that letting it hibernate for a while before I put it on paper usually distills the coarser bits and it structures itself more nicely. On the other hand, I do forget many good scenes in the process... Nothing is perfect as it seems ;)

D-Chan3: Thank you! In my opinion though, Tenseiga doesn't work that way and I will try to insert into the fic my take on its capabilities. Moreover, Rin's mortality is something I always wanted to explore, so that would go against it ;) And as for Rin and the humans, I replied in the chapter note.

jess: Thank you, I try ;)

Lady of the Westlands: Thank you and it's for her own good:o

libi se mi psi: I hurry to deliver! And such a long chapter too! ;) I know what you mean about trying to be perfect, it can be a serious drawback, but on the other hand, I often find that it's during reviewing that I get the best ideas for simple descriptions or for making something clearer, so it's a two-ended stick (so to speak...). And there are absolutely no limits on reviews, not too mention that personal input it in my opinion very important here, since we are all writers who are supposed to help each other out with reviewing, and personal accounts can help a lot:)

Frenchiegirl: Thank you, and hahaha, I did indeed intend to make Sesshoumaru a bit big-brother-ish, also later on for Shippou ;) And I'm very happy to hear that you like Sae, I liked her too the moment she appeared in my mind, although she will later on show that she can also be very decisive and firm! And thank you again (particularly so since you were the 100th reviewer:))! Oh, and I don't think it actually matters for which chapter one reviews, especially when a review is worthwhile as yours:)

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Wow, it took me 5 hours just to write all the notes... Thank goodness it's Sunday today!