Terribly terribly short chapter. That's because it's a terribly, terribly short song. Really, this is all of it, spoken words and all. :X But I couldn't just throw it out, it was so pretty! Don't worry, the next chapter will be coming relatively soon, and it'll be a good one, I promise!

Thanks to Colin, for technicals and beta.

And for those of you who have asked, this fic is going to be about 16 chapters long, and I have every intention of finishing it But remember, reviews make me happier about writing this fic in particular over the other projects I've got going, so please, if you like it, review once in a while, ne?

-- Terrified Heart --

The phone was ringing. I was unpacking in my new apartment, kneeling on the ground next to a box full of books, all of which had to do with work.

It kept ringing, a high incessant noise. I briefly considered unplugging it. Grandmother hadn't stopped calling me since I left Kyoto. I suppose she was worried about me, ever since she heard about Kazuhiko, but I didn't want to talk about it. If she had something important to tell me, she could damn well leave a message, just like everyone else.

I stood up, stretching a little. It felt good to be alone again. I made my way past the depressingly few boxes that littered the room, and looked out the window, enjoying the view.

The answering machine clicked on, and I paused in the middle of lighting a cigarette to glance at it. Grandmother's voice, familiar and tired, came on.

Listening to her voice, the way it trembled when she asked if I was all right - it was almost as if I were listening to the voice of a stranger.

Didn't she understand? Kazuhiko's death just left me - cold. I wasn't in love with the boy. He was nothing more than a certain kind of masochistic convenience. I probably would forget him in a few months.

I turned back to the window. From the high vantage point, through the buildings, you could just see the barest hint of branches and fragile green leaves. It was so close, here. Comforting, in a way. I raised my hand to the glass, feeling the warmth of the sun on it.

I wondered if he was there. If he had been there recently. If he would be there tonight.